A day and a night after our unique marriage, we were filled with neutrality and carefulness. No exchanged words, but each glance held something strange – a pull of familiarity that none of us dared to speak. I was still wary, annoyed by her unpredictable mood swings. She held herself in front of everyone, intimidatingly beautiful, bossing, commanding everything with precision. But around me, she was everything – insufferably annoying, causing my uneven rage, and sometimes I started having a hard time containing them.
"This is not good. I need an outlet." I muttered, trying to control the rage building quietly around my chest.
I walked hurriedly, trying not to trip on my footsteps, but sadly, I did. Comically, I slid, knocking a vase displayed in the grand hall, and cut myself in the process. There was a harsh thud that kissed my knees, causing me to hiss in pain. I wasn't one hundred percent, although changes had started.
"Clumsy me," I muttered with a knowing sigh, and some servants heard me, quickly went to my side, and aided me. I chuckled, joking about my clumsiness, but the truth is, I'm frustratingly furious. I just let them help me clean my wounds before going back to their usual routine in the mansion, leaving me sighing again. "I truly need an outlet. I need to release this."
Then, Reaper, my bat, showed up, flying around me as if he wanted to show me something. I narrowed my eyes and followed him toward the wisteria tree. It was old but strangely familiar. I found myself lured, and when my hand had contact with its trunk, I felt a cold breeze, tickling my skin. I giggled innocently as I turned back into a kid.
"That's odd," I mumbled softly as I heard innocent laughter from a kid running around the same pinkish violet wisteria tree. I shook my head, thinking I was hallucinating, but oddly, my heart ached. "Was that a memory?" I looked past the tree, feeling strangeness filling my surroundings as if the tree was whispering a delicate secret. But instead of thinking about it, I patted its trunk and said, "Maybe some other time. I need to blow some streams first."
I left the garden and went to the training ground to blow off some steam and release my frustration. I had to empty the overflowing glass, but I was always crossing wooden swords either with Almira or with my frustrating stoic wife.
"Whoa, careful, Bernila, you'll ignite the training swords in flame." Almira teased as she blocked my full swing with her scabbard.
"Intend to." I scoffed, sighing heavily as I darted my eyes away.
"Silly." She chuckled. I pulled the wooden sword down, sighing again before she said, "I know she's being difficult, but don't give up on her."
"Who said that I am? I'm just – argh!" I glared, frustrated. I sighed, calming myself before sharing what I tried for my wife within a day and a night after our marriage. "Almira, I tried to reach out and be her wife. I learned her favorites and cooked them. I even studied her way of dressing for work. God, I prepared them once, and even waited. But it only met silence and distance. I get that she's a queen. But this…" I pointed my chest, smiling sadly as I admitted the pain building in me. "… it's starting to get hurt."
Almira's eyes widened and looked apologetically at me before pulling me into a reassuring hug. "Oh, Bernila, I didn't know you were starting to love my sister."
"Don't go there." I frowned. She chuckled amusingly.
"But admit it. You're attracted to her despite her cold façade." She teased, bumping her shoulder on mine.
I sighed. "Who's foolish person wouldn't be captivated by her cold, intimidating charms?" I refuted in a matter-of-fact tone. Almira laughed, nodding in agreement before I sighed, adding something serious, "Almira, I haven't told anyone about something that truly hurt me. Only Talia and Agilus knew about it."
Her laughter died, and she looked curiously at me before her voice became carefully soft, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Should I?" I thought for a second, and I saw Talia's concerned eyes looking back at me from Almira's view. I sighed and nodded. I put down the training sword and stretched my hand out to her, inviting her, "Come. I'll show you."
I took Almira to the isolated greenhouse. I'd sensed her tension as the path became familiar to her, and once we were in the area, I felt her agitation. Her voice even hitched, and stopped her in her tracks. There was fear and nervousness, which made her tug my sleeves, stopping me from walking ahead of her.
"Don't worry. I was allowed, and whoever I invited would be able to enter with me." I reassured her. She nodded skeptically and followed me inside the greenhouse.
The greenhouse lit up. It was still the same, with less dirt and dried petals gathered on the side since I had been cleaning this up after my routine around the mansion. It became one of my relaxations aside from meditating.
"Sorry, I haven't finished cleaning." I apologized sheepishly.
"I can see that." She nodded and carefully roamed around the area, trying not to touch something that could hurt her sister.
"You knew this place," I commented as I observed her a little.
She nodded and sadly faced me. "This is her sanctuary before she got hurt…emotionally."
"I felt it." I agreed as I walked over to the piano, where the chandelier lit up along with the lanterns. "This sanctuary cried them out as soon as I stepped inside for the very first time." I added softly, almost whispering, before I giggled, "It's my luck she allowed me to use it as my own space."
"Glad she did." Her voice softened gratefully, and it was warming my heart. I nodded before she added sincerely, "It's coming to life with you in it."
"Thanks." I blushed.
"So, what are you going to show me?" She wondered, making me nod.
"Don't freak out or be outraged," I warned her. She narrowed her eyes as if she was trying to read me, but nodded.
"That's…that's for me to decide." She replied sternly.
"Sure it does," I said softly.
There was silence filling the area, and with one heavy sigh, I took off my oversized dark hoodie and my training muscle shirt, leaving my sports bra. I shivered a little when cold air touched my skin and lowered my pants a little, revealing unhealed scars. I didn't look at her reaction – there was no need for it because of the thickening silence around us. I felt Almira's breathing become ragged, her blood started to rise, and before I could utter a word, she appeared in front of me, covering me with her coat. Just like her sister's signature jaw clenching, she did it too. She was controlling her rage, but the blood on her lips from her bite was stating everything that Mirxalyn's possible reaction would be when she saw these.
"Almira, please breathe like what you always told me to." I cut the thickening silence between us.
Almira closed her eyes, taking a breath, controlling her temper. When she opened her eyes, meeting mine, they were filled with blood and anger before asking sternly, "These…where did you get them? Who was responsible for all of these?" I was about to answer, but she quickly interjected what I was about to reason with, saying, "And don't tell me these came from your bullies because from what I've heard, they never hurt you to this kind of extent."
I sighed, clenching her coat before sitting on the piano's bench, tapping its side. Almira sat, holding my hand, not to support me but herself from snapping in anger. I smiled softly, saying, "You reminded me of Talia. She had the same expression, but mixed with guilt that I never blamed her for." She didn't say anything because she knew there was something more, and it's true. "Talia was admired by everyone and tried to win her, but quickly rejected because for Talia, I am enough while her mate hasn't been found. Among those admirers was my mate. He used our mate bond to get close to Talia. Since I was easy, I let him break me. When Talia learned it, like you, she's furious and wanted to tear them apart, but I needed her. She has been my support and never left my side."
Almira's trembled against mine. "Bernila, what truly happens?" She asked as if she knew that I was still leaving spaces blank before adding, "These scars…they speak deeper than what you're saying…"
I smiled sadly. My eyes were glistening with unshed tears before answering, "They were. Every scar on my body came from them. I thought it was just one nightmare, but it began crawling under my skin, and I can't get out."
"No…Bernila…no…" Almira's voice trembled. Her eyes were wide, and tears began falling before mine could. I smiled sadly, nodding, and said nothing. "Bastards." She gritted her teeth, suppressing her rage before swallowing and asking, "H-how many?"
"The same as my scars," I answered softly. Almira quickly stood up, but I caught her wrist. "Don't, Almira. My last scar was something I don't like where it came, but I didn't want to lose either."
Almira's attention snapped back at me; her rage had shifted, and she gasped. She collapsed on her knees as she completely understood what I was trying to tell her – show her. "Oh my God, Bernila. Why do you have to go through such pain?" She began crying on my lap, feeling sorry for me. "Why didn't you get yourself sooner before this happened to you? WHY?!"
"Maybe fate had plans. I don't know." I answered, unsure, shrugging my shoulders with a soft giggle. Almira looked at me from my lap. I smiled sadly, "Thanks for crying for me. I just had to tell you because you reminded me of Talia and your sister – she's being difficult at the moment."
"Well, I can agree with you on that." She agreed, giggling as I helped her wipe her tears away. And then I heard her curiosity. "But when are you going to tell her your truth?"
"When she decided to be," I answered calmly as if something had lifted but not fully.
"Seriously, you two, you're making your marriage difficult." Almira sighed. She shook her head disapprovingly before pointing out our actions. "If you love each other or even have a little affection, try to act on it. Talk like any adult should. You two act like teenagers with mood swings." She sounded frustrated, but there was a hint of amusement in her voice. "Sometimes it affects us, correction, mostly it does. Only Mom is the one who's having more fun over it."
I never laughed so lightly before, but ever since I came here, I have. I chuckled. "Tell that to your sister. She's insufferably annoying."
"She's rubbing on you." She teased.
"She is." I agreed, warming my chest, and Almira noticed.
"The new year is nearing. Start a new beginning with her by trying to share what you vaguely shared with me." She reminded me, giving advice that I already been considering.