Chapter 2
( A soft whisper in the wind, a secret told over and over again until it finally reached me again. A lie concocted from a fact that was no longer a fact but some kind of fantasy. It wrecked me but I was too afraid to pick myself up in case I broke into pieces again.)
"I am getting remarried." My mom said
I slightly looked up from my book. A tear at the edge of my eye but one that I sucked back so fast that no one saw it.
My sister hit the brakes so hard jolting us all to the front. She stared at my mom for a while before she started the engine again and continued driving. She did not ask anything. My mother did not care to respond to the unsaid questions that lingered in the air like a smell from a month of piece of beef that had not been refrigerated.
I stared at her back. My questions burning holes in her seat. She shifted uncomfortably before she resumed her talk with my sister. A talk that had nothing to do with the bomb that she had just dropped.
"To whom?" I asked, hoping against all odds that at least for once she would answer me.
She did not. My question went ignored perhaps unheard like a whisper from an invisible person whom no one saw or heard. I buried my head back into my book. Hiding in the only place I found solace in a world where there seemed to be a life designed for me full of things that I wished were all just a part of a nightmare.
My bangs covered most of my face and the rest was assisted by my glasses so even as I sat in the back of that seat , tears streaming down my cheeks. I dared not to look up. Afraid that the moment I let my guard down and let them see me cry then the wall I had spent so much time building would collapse and shatter.
After an uncomfortable ride, we finally reached the home care center. I did not care to assist in carrying anything to my grandma's room and they did not ask for help. I immediately ran towards her room. My book in hand, I ran as fast as I could and as soon as I saw her I fell in her arms. She was the only other person aside from my dad who truly saw me.
At least for a little while when I was with her, I was not in the shadow of my sister. She saw me, she knew me and always heard me.
"Come on moon pie." My grandma said stroking my head and she patted my hair.
We hugged for a little while longer. A few times in the middle of the hug she would pull me off her and cup my face in her arms, telling me how much I resembled my dad, then she would pull me back in for the continuation of the hug. We hugged until my mother's grunts were heard echoing in the hallway as she walked towards the room.
She swung the door open and got in.
"Would you tell your grandchild to at least help me bring this in?" She said smiling.
"Would you just give her a break?" My grandma said smiling back.
I remained seated. My grandma held my hand in hers as they set the bags down. They all embraced my grandma but she did not let go of my hand. They finished the first part of the greetings before they proceeded to set the table. We all are and laughed.
My mother bragged about her perfect daughter, complained about her irresponsible one, my sister told stories of her perfect marriage and my grandma told jokes about the other old people she interacted with daily. I just sat there. Invisible as always. I would laugh at the occasional joke that was thrown in, even if it was at my expense. My grandma would glance over and smile at me and I would smile back.
My mom then got to the topic that she had not told of to this day. She explained how she had finally met someone who made her happy. Two years after my dad had died and now a few months later they were engaged. She took a ring out of her pocket. It was shiny. I glanced once at it.
My grandma just smiled. Then she told my mom that she was happy with whatever made her happy.
My sister was over the moon. Hugging my mom and smiling saying how happy she was for her. I did not react. I had gotten used to being number to this kind of situations. This one however stung. I could not imagine that she was about to put my dad in her past and move on. I could not even say anything. I just sat there like a décor as always.
"Moon pie, I have something for you." My grandma said rubbing her hands over mine.
A smile across her face.
"What granny?" I said, forcing a smile on mine as well.
"You do not have to be fake with me you know." She said noticing the forced smile.
She reached into her bottom drawer and pulled out a ticket to a book signing event by Raven. I could not believe my eyes. An event held for a fan meet and book sign by the one and only Raven Gayle. I felt happy , actual happiness for the first time in three years.
"Are these real granny?" I asked
"Yes baby, enjoy."
I felt my heart leap. I hugged my grandma tightly before I proceeded to jump up and down. My happiness in that moment however was short lived when my mother exited the room crying.
"Why is she crying?" I asked puzzled.
"You killed dad, remember." My sister said storming out of the room.