Chapter 2 — Banana Politics and Nen Bullshit
If evolution had a sense of humor, it definitely used me as a punchline.
It'd been two days since I christened myself Monk, the Wild Learner.
Two days of mud, bugs, and uninvited existential dread.
I'd learned how to meditate upside down (don't ask why), how to fish using aura to sense ripples, and how to steal bananas from other monkeys without getting murdered.
That last one was crucial.
> [Skill Acquired: Primate Diplomacy Lv. 2.]
[You are now 30% less likely to get punched for stealing fruit.]
"Fantastic," I muttered, gnawing on a half-ripe banana like a philosopher with poor life choices. "So, when do I unlock the ability to stop being sticky?"
> [Never.]
"...Thanks, Siri 2.0."
> [Correction: I am S.I.S. — Sentient Instinct System. Stop calling me after cheap phones.]
"Sentient, huh? Then explain this—" I waved the banana dramatically. "Why do I crave potassium more than enlightenment?"
> [Because you are 92% monkey.]
"Unnecessary."
I sighed, glancing around the forest clearing I'd claimed as my "base." It wasn't much — just a tree stump, a puddle, and a pile of stolen fruits.
But the aura flow here was strong — dense with latent energy. Like the world itself was teaching me how to breathe Nen.
I sat cross-legged, focusing. Ten had grown easier — a warm, controlled current wrapping my body. Zetsu still hurt, like trying to choke my soul. But I was learning.
Instant Mastery System works best through comprehension, not repetition, I reminded myself.
So I tried to understand Nen — not as a weapon, but as a rhythm. A heartbeat shared by all life.
> [Analysis Complete: Aura synchronization increasing.]
[Recommendation: Exposure to complex Nen patterns.]
"Translation: go find someone to piss off."
> [Accurate.]
---
That opportunity came faster than I expected.
While foraging, I sensed human aura — jagged, unstable, aggressive. A group of three.
They wore player badges on their arms and reeked of cheap bravado.
I perched in the trees, listening.
"Man, this area sucks," one said. "Nothing but beasts and trash cards."
"Yeah, but we gotta get something to trade in Masadora. Heard Gon's team is wrecking the market."
"Gon? That kid with the fishing rod?"
"Yeah, rumor says he beat Razor in arm wrestling—"
My tail twitched. So they're already in the game.
Then the leader — a stocky guy with red goggles — pointed toward the forest.
"Oi. What's that movement?"
He spotted me.
"Hey, look! It's a monkey! Maybe it's carrying a card!"
The group laughed.
I exhaled slowly, suppressing aura — Zetsu.
Their auras flared, revealing low-level control — sloppy Ten, no Ren, no Gyo.
Perfect test subjects.
"Let's catch it," Goggles said, unsheathing a blade.
"Could sell it or feed it to beasts."
> [Threat detected.]
[Recommend combat test.]
I grinned. "Let's evolve this comedy into tragedy."
> [Combat Mode: Primate Chaos — Enabled.]
---
The first one lunged, swinging his blade down.
I sidestepped and slapped his wrist — light, controlled. But through my aura, I felt the rhythm of his energy flow. The hesitation, the weak points.
Comprehension established.
> [Instant Mastery Triggered: Aura Reading Lv.1.]
I grabbed a vine, wrapped it around his ankle, and yanked him into a tree trunk.
The crack echoed. He went down groaning.
The others froze.
"...That monkey just used combat tactics!"
"Bro, it's using Nen!"
I puffed my chest. "Monkey see, monkey comprehend, dumbass."
> [Taunt skill unlocked.]
They attacked in panic. I leapt through branches, body adapting with every motion. The world slowed — my instincts sharpened, energy singing through muscle and fur.
> [Skill Mastered: Ren Lv.1 — Emotional Activation achieved.]
Rage and thrill surged. My aura exploded outward, golden and wild. Leaves trembled.
The humans faltered, overwhelmed by primal fear.
"I warned you…" I hissed, landing before them.
"You came to hunt monsters. Congratulations — you found one."
Their leader screamed and fled, tripping over vines.
> [Enemies fleeing.]
[Combat evaluation: brutal, comedic, effective.]
"Pretty good review."
> [You still smell like banana.]
"Shut up."
---
Later that night, I sat by a campfire I'd copied from human memory — sparks rising into the Greed Island sky.
The flames flickered with aura traces.
I studied them, trying to feel the essence — how heat, life, and death intertwined. Nen wasn't just energy; it was meaning. The fire burned because it wanted to live.
Maybe that's what I am, I thought. A monkey that refuses to be defined by what it's born as.
> [Emotional comprehension deepening.]
[New Skill Concept forming.]
"Wait, what concept?"
> [Potential Hatsu type: Adaptive Instinct — mimics properties of observed energy through emotional resonance.]
"…You mean I can learn Hatsu by feeling stuff?"
> [In simple terms: yes. In your case: probably through memes and chaos.]
"That's both awesome and terrifying."
> [Like humanity.]
Silence fell. The jungle hummed softly. In the distance, I could sense faint energy — players training, monsters lurking, the island alive with ambition.
Somewhere, Gon was probably laughing like an idiot.
Killua was probably sighing.
And I — a reincarnated HxH nerd turned monkey — was on the same island, learning how to rewrite the rules of existence.
> [Summary: You are 1% closer to enlightenment. And 99% closer to insanity.]
"Story of my life," I said, tossing a banana peel into the fire.
It sizzled — aura reacting with the flames — creating a brief flash of golden light.
The System beeped.
> [New ability formed.]
[Hatsu Draft: Banana Bomb.]
I blinked. "...Please tell me that's a joke."
> [Do you want to test it?]
"Obviously."
I held a banana, infused it with aura, and threw it into the fire.
BOOM.
A shockwave tore through the clearing. I was thrown ten feet back, smoking fur, twitching tail.
> [Congratulations. You have invented fruit-based explosives.]
[Rank: Stupidly Effective.]
I coughed out smoke. "Well… at least it's a start."
The jungle echoed with laughter — mine. Half-insane, half-triumphant.
"Fine, Greed Island," I said to the night sky. "Let's play."