The moment I stepped into the bar, pounding music hit me like a wall. I'd just come from D&D, but he wasn't there. I thought he might be here—this was his kind of place.
I scanned the room, eyes straining through the darkness, trying to pick out his familiar figure. The shadows swallowed most faces, and I was glad—my convenience store uniform looked horribly out of place.
Then I saw him. Broad back, moving through the crowd. Drunk people danced and kissed recklessly around him. The darkness of this bar mirrored the world he belonged to, a world I could never enter. One corner of his empire—and he owned it.
I clenched my fist. Watching him kiss another woman was a blade twisting in my chest. This wasn't my fight; I had no claim to him. I only loved him—and I knew why he acted this way.
I planned to wait it out, let him finish, but the thought of standing by while they make love—no, not love, only lust—made me act. He only knew one name for love: Xena. His brother's girl.
I accepted it. Still, it hurt. Max knew only one woman. The rest? Just women to fill the gaps, meaningless and disposable.
I moved closer, seized his arm, and yanked him away from her. She glared at me, fury and calm tangled in her gaze.
"Who the fuck are you?" the woman he was kissing a while ago hissed.
I ignored her. My eyes were fixed on Max, blank and steady, daring him to look back.
"Let's go, Max," I said, tugging at him. He didn't move.
I met his gaze. Dangerous. Dark. Alive with something I couldn't read. Even trembling, I didn't flinch. I saw her hesitate, release him, and leave—but Max didn't care.
"I told you. Never cross the line again," he said quietly, authoritatively, eyes locked on mine.
"You know I'm not an obedient bitch, right?" I shot back, averting my gaze from the intensity in his.
He didn't respond. He just stared for a few long, tense seconds—and then walked away.
I followed him. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I saw it: he was breaking. Hurt. Mourning. His heart was shattered—twice. I didn't know his father, but I knew the weight of that grief. His pain was real, and it wasn't safe to be near him, yet I couldn't leave.
"Maximus!" I called, hurrying to catch up as he moved toward his car. He ignored me, walking straight. I blocked his path, forcing him to stop. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable.
I slid into the front seat beside him. I could feel his tension, the tight grip on the steering wheel. He didn't speak, didn't even glance at me. He just drove. Fast. Dangerous. Hurting.
"Max," I said quietly, but he didn't respond. His eyes stayed on the road, dark and stormy. I kept my silence, letting the car move in rhythm with his mood.
When we arrived at his house, my suspicions were confirmed. He drove straight through the gate and stopped. I saw him brush back his hair—a small, human motion in a man made of ice.
I followed him inside. The house was the same as ever. Empty, silent, his kingdom of solitude. He emerged from the kitchen with a beer in hand. I tried to step closer.
In a flash, the gun was in his hand, aimed squarely at me.
"You know how much I hate hard-headed bitches, Rhiej. Very well… I guess," he said flatly, eyes unreadable.
I didn't flinch. I wouldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't leave him alone in his pain. Even if death came for me in that moment, I would accept it—especially from him.
"Then do it, Max. I don't mind," I whispered.
He smiled—a dark, amused grin—but the tension in his eyes was lethal. I stepped closer anyway, pressing my forehead to his gun, daring him.
His jaw tensed. He closed his eyes, then slammed the gun into the wall with a shout.
"RHIEJ!"
My heart pounded—not from fear, but from the raw, aching pain I saw in him. The rage was real, the sorrow hidden beneath it.
"MAXIMUS!" I shouted back, tears streaming. "Why is it so hard for you to be honest with yourself? Why do you keep running?!"
He clawed at his hair, pacing, muttering, broken. I wanted to reach him, to hold him, to let him cry, but he stepped back, holding me with his grip.
"What do you want, exactly?" he demanded, grabbing my arm.
"Max—" I started, but he yanked me closer, eyes piercing, silencing me.
"Fine," he said, smirking like a demon, and kissed me fiercely.
I shoved him away instinctively, slapping him. Shocked, both of us paused—but then he grinned, devilishly. I regretted it instantly. He was only hurting.
He lifted me, dragging me down the hallway to his room. I struggled, screamed, but he ignored it, tossing me onto the bed. His shirt came off, exposing him, raw and untouchable. Fear crept up my spine, but I stayed.
He pinned me to the mattress, lips ruthless, hands controlling, and I froze. My body fought him, but my heart... my heart betrayed me.
He kissed me with fire, teeth grazing, lips burning along my neck and collarbone. I wanted to pull away—but I couldn't. My tears flowed freely, my sobs muffled against him.
"If that'll make you feel better, then use me, Max. I'll let you," I whispered into his ear, sobbing. Foolish, maybe utterly foolish, but it was the truth of what I felt.
I felt him pause, the pressure of his lips against my neck ceasing, his hand sliding gently along me. I forced a bitter smile and continued, "As long as you're okay… I'll be okay."
I placed a soft kiss on his forehead, letting him know silently that I allowed him to do as he wished, even if it hurt me, even knowing he would never love me.
I heard the clench of his jaw before he rose and moved off me. He knocked over the lampshade on the bedside table as thunder cracked outside. I feared the storm, but I feared what was happening even more. The thunder echoed the coming rain on this quiet night. He sat at the edge of the bed, back turned to me, hands raking through his hair as if he might break.
I rose slowly, approaching to wrap my arms around him from behind. I rested my head on his back and whispered his name, "Max…"
I sobbed softly.
I could feel him stiffen at my embrace, but he didn't move. I heard him exhale before speaking, not with the calm he had earlier, but quietly, almost pleading...
"Stay away from me, Rhiej. You don't belong in my world."
His voice was pleading, so I smiled faintly. At least, in some way, he wasn't taking advantage of my weakness. I let go and stood before him, locking eyes and saying firmly, "I don't belong anywhere. I'll stay wherever I want, Max."
I stared into his somber eyes and wiped the tears from his face. I wanted to protect him, even though I was the weaker one. I wanted him to feel that even if Xena couldn't choose him, I would choose him over myself.
Thunder rumbled again, but I didn't flinch. He looked away, and I gently turned his face toward mine so he could meet my gaze again. He was about to speak, but I stopped him with a single finger pressed softly to his lips, resting my palms against his cheeks.
I love Max.
That was the only thought in my mind as I leaned closer to kiss his soft, warm lips. I closed my eyes as I heard the gentle patter of rain beginning outside. I didn't care if he loved me, or if he wanted me, or even if I was nothing to him. I didn't care. I would stay with him, even if it meant death.
He didn't push me away; he remained still. I kept my eyes closed, lips moving against his, thinking that in this kiss, I could make him feel how much I wanted him. I didn't expect a response, knowing he didn't love me enough to return the kiss.
I opened my eyes and slowly pulled back—but before I could even release him, he shut his eyes tightly and pressed himself against my waist. I knelt on the bed as he drew me down toward him, returning the kiss I had given him earlier.
Gentle, slow, warm—and when I closed my eyes again, I couldn't open them anymore. I was completely submerged in Max's lips, especially when he pulled me to sit on his lap, kissing me deeper while holding my neck.
I was dying for this. Dying for his kiss, his love, his attention. Dying for him.
The kiss deepened as he let himself fall back onto the soft bed, me above him. And in that moment, I lost my mind. His warm skin, his lips pressing against mine, the gentle rain outside—these were all I was aware of that night.
The rain, and the best moment of my life.