Chapter 7: System, are you the bane sent by monkeys?
"Ding! Enhancement complete. Congratulations, Host, on drawing the 'Thousand Years of Death'—a Leaf Village taijutsu secret art."
"System, you #￥#￥%! ...#"
This time, Zhang Lan couldn't hold back. He sprang from the bed and unleashed a torrent of curses, including some Hokkien from his previous life, for a full ten minutes without repeating himself.
After a long while, Zhang Lan finally vented his frustrations. He then indignantly asked the system to display the information for this "taijutsu secret art."
*-*-*-*-*
Name: [Thousand Years of Death]
Category: Taijutsu
Rank: E
Effect: Form a tiger seal with both hands, attack from behind any target, fully penetrate their posterior, causing their energy circulation to interrupt. Duration varies depending on their will.
Consumption: A small amount of physical stamina
Attribute: You can instantly appear behind any enemy in your line of sight, but the skill cannot be interrupted.
Note: Due to the enhancement of its attribute, the practicality of this skill has greatly increased. However, because it cannot be interrupted, use it with caution.
*-*-*-*-*
The room fell into a long silence.
After a long time, Zhang Lan shook his head, a little dejected. The system's dark humor was truly powerful. However, this Thousand Years of Death, with that attribute, became a divine displacement skill.
More importantly, it was instant; all he needed to do was form a tiger seal with both hands.
"System, what about the other skills? Show them to me."
*-*-*-*-*
Name: [Illusion]
Category: Genjutsu
Rank: E
Effect: Entry-level genjutsu, capable of simply implanting an illusion in the target.
Consumption: Chakra * 10
Note: Success factor is determined by mental power.
*-*-*-*-*
Name: [Shadow Clone Jutsu]
Category: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Effect: Can create an independent clone with its own consciousness. Automatically dispels upon taking damage. Upon dispelling, all experiences during its existence are transmitted back to the main body.
Consumption: Divides the caster's chakra equally.
Note: Due to quality modification, this skill will not automatically dispel due to the main body's thoughts or unconsciousness.
*-*-*-*-*
Name: Immortality
Category: Forbidden Jutsu
Rank: A
Description: Grants the host the characteristic of physical immortality, but does not provide autonomous recovery. Therefore, please be careful, Host, and do not lose any body parts.
Consumption: None.
Note: The Shinigami Ritual is divided into two parts: 'Immortality' and 'Ritual.' Originally an S-rank Kekkei Genkai, it was downgraded to A-rank due to the loss of the 'Ritual' part.
*-*-*-*-*
Name: [Eight Inner Gates] – Front Lotus
Category: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Description: The human body has a self-protection mechanism, so normal people can only use less than 50% of their physical strength. Chakra also has eight restrictions, called the Eight Gates. Opening the Eight Gates releases these restrictions, granting extremely powerful strength for a short period.
This skill is Front Lotus, which can only be used after opening the Second Gate – Gate of Healing.
Consumption: Physical energy
Note: The rapidly expanding power comes with an extremely heavy price.
*-*-*-*-*
Name: [Sand Shield]
Category: Special / Passive
Rank: S
Effect: Can control sand using chakra. Sand mixed with the user's chakra will automatically defend against all potential damage to the host.
Attribute: When releasing Gaara-series ninjutsu, energy consumption is reduced by 50%.
Consumption: None
Note: The host can only control sand infused with the host's chakra.
*-*-*-*-*
"Ding! Reward confirmed and sent to the host's storage space."
Zhang Lan looked at the skills above and tragically realized that his only usable offensive skill for daily use was the F-rank Thousand Years of Death.
Sand Shield was a passive skill, merely controlling sand. He would need to exchange for Gaara's related ninjutsu to unleash its offensive power.
Eight Inner Gates – Front Lotus, had been nullified twice in Naruto, making it seem quite weak.
Moreover, this move was self-mutilating! Even if he had the immortality ability from the Shinigami Ritual (hereafter referred to as Immortality), it didn't provide recovery!
As seen in the anime, if your head was chopped off, yes, you wouldn't die, but it wouldn't grow back either.
If that continued, and his body's energy was depleted, wouldn't he still die?
As for the Illusion genjutsu, given its E-rank rating, it probably wasn't very good.
Finally, the Shadow Clone.
He had originally thought he could use the First Hokage's human wave tactics, but it was only a B-rank Shadow Clone, not the A-rank Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu.
With only one clone, and one that couldn't take damage, its combat value was very low for the current Zhang Lan.
After all, Zhang Lan's taijutsu experience wasn't high, so he could easily be hit. Plus, his total chakra capacity wasn't much; if half was split, how could he even fight?
"Can I teach these to someone other than myself?" Zhang Lan asked, puzzled.
"Ding! Insufficient permissions. Please work hard to upgrade, Host."
"Alright…" Zhang Lan expressed his exasperation with the system.
The storage space provided by the system was very small, only one cubic meter. Currently, it contained only a few thin cards. With Zhang Lan's thought, these cards immediately appeared in his hand.
The cards weren't large, and their style resembled the game cards from Yu-Gi-Oh! in his previous life. The back uniformly displayed a Tai Chi symbol, while the front showed the card's name, its effect description, and an accompanying image.
Zhang Lan only glanced at the image for Thousand Years of Death: a yellow-haired child being attacked from behind by an adult male with his left eye covered. The man's hand was in a tiger seal, and he was bent over, aiming at the yellow-haired child's posterior.
Zhang Lan felt as if he could hear Naruto's screams.
"System, how do I learn these? Do I just eat them?" Zhang Lan felt exhausted.
"Ding! Please place the cards on your pineal gland, Host."
Pineal gland? Wasn't that just the forehead? Making it sound so mysterious, Zhang Lan scornfully looked down on the system, then directly slapped the stack of cards in his hand onto his forehead.
"Ding! Congratulations, Host, on learning F-rank taijutsu: [Thousand Years of Death], E-rank genjutsu: [Illusion], B-rank ninjutsu: [Shadow Clone Jutsu], A-rank forbidden jutsu: [Shinigami Ritual] (Incomplete), C-rank taijutsu: [Eight Inner Gates] – Front Lotus, and S-rank special skill: [Sand Shield]."
With the system's prompt, Zhang Lan felt a flood of information rushing into his mind—complex details about ninjutsu hand seal sequences, taijutsu practice insights, and so on.
The main point was that this information was incredibly vast.
It wasn't just a mental ordeal; his body was also undergoing a transformation, making Zhang Lan stronger and more robust. Of course, at this moment, Zhang Lan could only feel more pain.
Undoubtedly, he gloriously fainted once again.
Shortly after Zhang Lan fainted, the room door opened, and Reed entered. He looked at Zhang Lan, who was sprawled on the floor, with some confusion, seemingly not understanding.
"Just now… the data showed he had already woken up, didn't it?" Reed was puzzled. After helping Zhang Lan onto the bed, he called for a doctor to conduct further examinations.
The examination procedures naturally included blood tests. Blood had to be tested every five hours; this was one of the requirements for critical care patients.
The problem arose here: when the doctor tried to draw Zhang Lan's blood again, they miraculously discovered a small pile of sand floating around Zhang Lan. As the doctor attempted to draw blood, the sand gathered around the puncture site, preventing the needle from touching Zhang Lan's skin.
When Reed came to observe this unusual situation, he immediately realized it was a mutation caused by radiation in space.
He remembered that his best friend was still unconscious.
When Zhang Lan woke up again, he felt extremely hungry. Opening his eyes, he saw a nurse dozing beside him. However, he had no interest in this sleeping beauty; all his attention was focused on a small thermos cup nearby.
Zhang Lan knew that it must contain porridge or some other liquid food, prepared for patients who had been unconscious for a long time and were now waking up.
Three days had passed since he last woke up. Due to his Sand Shield, no needle could penetrate Zhang Lan's blood vessels, and even attempts to feed him were deemed attacks by the sand.
Therefore, the hospital had no way to provide Zhang Lan with nutrition and could only resort to the most primitive method—waiting for Zhang Lan to wake up.
Zhang Lan's body was still undergoing transformation. According to the body's self-protection mechanism, he wouldn't wake up until the transformation was complete.
Now that Zhang Lan was awake, he was extremely weak. He tried hard to lift himself but couldn't, so he could only look longingly at the thermos cup.
Under Zhang Lan's intense gaze, a small current of sand swirled from all directions, gently lifting the thermos cup. At Zhang Lan's command, it slowly floated towards his bed.
"This is? Sand Control of the Sand Shield?"
Zhang Lan was experiencing such a supernatural phenomenon for the first time and felt a bit bewildered. This distraction caused the still-unfamiliar Sand Control to lose its guidance and passively revert to a defensive state, flowing back around Zhang Lan to protect him.
Without the sand supporting it, the thermos naturally fell to the ground, making a sound that startled the sleeping nurse awake.
The awakened nurse realized her dereliction of duty. While notifying the doctor, she began feeding Zhang Lan a nutrient solution, which was the liquid food from the thermos cup.
This time, under Zhang Lan's conscious control, the sand did not obstruct her again. Zhang Lan successfully ate the food and absorbed the nutrients.
Shortly after Zhang Lan woke up, Reed, Susan, and Ben arrived at the ward. They greeted Zhang Lan and briefly explained what had happened.
First, Zhang Lan had woken up once a day after the energy storm but had fallen unconscious again due to the system's transformation, remaining in a coma for three full days. Ben had also woken up yesterday.
Upon hearing the story of how he almost starved to death due to the sand's "loyal protection," Zhang Lan felt increasingly that this system was somewhat unreliable.
"Ding! If the Host is about to face death, the system will provide energy to maintain the Host's vital functions." Because Zhang Lan's consciousness had thought of the keyword "system," the system provided an answer.
"If that's the case, then it's somewhat reliable." Zhang Lan nodded, then realized another question: "System, what do I look like now? My original appearance or the transformation jutsu?"
"Ding! During the Host's coma, the transformation jutsu was maintained by the system's energy supply, so it has not been dispelled yet." The system delivered good news.
"That was close; I wasn't exposed."
After a discussion with everyone, Reed remained fixated on Zhang Lan's blood sample. He hoped to obtain a blood sample with Zhang Lan's cooperation.
Zhang Lan naturally didn't want to have blood drawn. After reluctantly agreeing, he was relieved to discover that he couldn't control the sand to give up its protection.
"System, what's going on? Why can't I control the sand?" When in doubt, ask the system.
"Ding! The defense of Sand Shield is a passive skill, just as animals need to breathe; it is an instinct and cannot be changed."
After an unproductive attempt, Reed could only regretfully leave. Susan then extended an invitation to dinner at the restaurant, which Zhang Lan gladly accepted. However, before that, he had some matters to attend to.
He needed to let his family know he was safe.
Thinking this, Zhang Lan first called home. Aunt May answered. Since he had previously told Aunt May that there was a problem with the script for his new movie, [Superman], and he needed to work at the theater for a few days, Aunt May wasn't surprised that Zhang Lan hadn't contacted home for five days.
"Oh, Lan. Are you coming back? I…" Aunt May's voice trembled slightly, evidently emotional.
"Aunt May? Are you alright?" Zhang Lan asked, very worried.
Before Aunt May could answer, a dispute erupted from the phone.
"Oh? You were delayed by something?" This was Uncle Ben's voice. Uncle Ben seemed very angry; he rarely reprimanded someone so loudly: "Your aunt, my wife, walked five blocks alone at noon, five of the roughest blocks in Queens."
"I can walk back myself." Aunt May, ignoring Zhang Lan, defended Peter.
"Don't you protect that child."
Zhang Lan didn't listen to the rest of the conversation. He felt he needed to rush back immediately, or something he would regret for the rest of his life would happen.
Aunt May had saved Zhang Lan, and Uncle Ben had agreed to adopt him. Having lived with this beloved couple for seventeen years, Zhang Lan, whose parents had divorced in his previous life, cherished the fatherly love he received from Uncle Ben.
Although he called him Uncle Ben, in Zhang Lan's heart, he had long regarded Uncle Ben as his father.
He didn't want to see Uncle Ben guide Spider-Man to become a superhero at the cost of his life.
Originally, Zhang Lan had no worries about these events happening. After all, there was only one cycle, and a rather long one, between Peter gaining Spider-Man's abilities and having a falling out with Uncle Ben and running away from home. So Zhang Lan hadn't worried about not being by Uncle Ben's side.
Who knew that the accursed system transformation would cause Zhang Lan to be unconscious for three days.
Zhang Lan formed hand seals, expertly releasing the ninjutsu taught by the system.
[Ninjutsu · Shadow Clone Jutsu]
He created a Shadow Clone to say goodbye to Reed and the others, then jumped out the window himself.
The sanatorium was located on the border of Brooklyn and Queens, not far from home. With Zhang Lan's stamina and chakra-enhanced wall-climbing abilities, it was currently the fastest way to get to the scene.
"Uncle Ben, please don't die! Wait for me!"
Zhang Lan was secretly anxious, pushing off the ground and rushing forward again, no longer concerned about exposing his identity.