She just stood there in his hotel room's entrance, and her eye makeup was hardly dry from when she'd put it on an hour earlier. She had come in a bit early, wanting to surprise him, but the real surprise was watching him laugh while the woman beneath him cried out his name and wore her mom's necklace like it meant nothing.
That necklace was the last thing her mother gave her before she died from cancer, the one precious thing she had promised herself she would never lose,
Now it had hung on another woman's collarbones, shining in the dim light that showed she'd been cheated on.
Kareen didn't speak at all,
She also didn't start crying,
She turned around and left, the sound of her shoes hitting the floor echoing in the hallway louder than her own heart beating.
The wind hit her face as soon as she walked onto the Tokyo street, she hadn't brought a coat, just that nice black dress that she knew he liked, and the irony made her want to be sick.
She walked until the pain in her chest became a dull ache,
She found a bar somewhere close to Ginza,
It was fancy and private, with glowing lights behind colored windows, the kind of place where secrets were shared in drinks and forgotten.
She sat on the stool at the end and ordered something strong,
Then something even stronger,
And then something that burned as it went down,
She couldn't taste it after the third drink.
Her phone vibrated once, from Collins, then again, from Ava, then again, from someone at the agency.
She turned it off.
The ice in her next drink hit the glass as though it was making fun of her,
She didn't even know how late it was until the bartender nicely told her that they were closing soon.
Kareen nodded, getting off the stool unsteadily, she grabbed her bag, mumbled something in unclear English, and walked toward the exit.
The cold felt stronger this time, or maybe she was just too drunk to pretend it wasn't there.
She tripped on the third step out of the bar, twisting her ankle a little in her heel, she made a small noise and reached for the wall but didn't grab it.
And that's when it happened,
Two sets of hands caught her at the same time , one strong, one warm, one on her waist, the other under her elbow.
"Easy there," a low voice said, calm and smooth,
Her vision blurred as she looked up at two faces, both attractive, both unfamiliar, one with defined cheekbones and watchful eyes, while the other had messy hair and a smile that looked naughty.
"Are you alright?" the calmer one asked, his voice sounded amused but not mean,
Kareen started to say something, but instead hiccuped and said something like, "Men are trash."
The two strangers looked at each other,
"Good thing we're not here to argue," the sharper one said,
"Come on," the other guy said, "let's get you out of the road, you're shivering"
"I'm okay," she replied, stumbling again as she tried to stand by herself
"You're drunk," the observant one said, sounding more like a fact than an opinion,
"Drunk and dumb," she mumbled, "and easy to forget, it seems, he gave a stranger my necklace, my mother's necklace,"
That got them really interested,
But they didn't ask any questions at all,
Instead, the calmer one held out his arm again, "We stay right across the street, we have a private room upstairs, no pressure though, it's just a safe place, maybe some water"
She should have refused,
She should have returned to her hotel and cried into her pillow,
But instead she mumbled in her breath, "Water sounds nice, maybe some tequila, too"
They helped her cross the street slowly and carefully
The calmer one told her his name was Andrew,
The colder one then said his name was Damon,
They didn't try to flirt, or try to impress her, and they just acted like men who are used to being watched, used to being obeyed, and didn't mind if she noticed,
Upstairs, the room was almost empty, the music was soft and the walls were painted with golden rays and shadows,
They sat beside her in a booth, ordered her water without her asking, then stayed quiet while she drank it
"Tough night?" Andrew asked softly
She gave a small, wry laugh
"I found my boyfriend sleeping with someone else," she said, her eyes started to tear up, "and she was wearing my mother's necklace, so yeah, wonderful night"
Neither man apologized,
They just let the truth remain in the air,
Damon spoke first, "You don't seem shocked"
"I'm not," she admitted, "I just didn't think it would hurt this badly"
Andrew's hand was on the table, near hers but not touching
Kareen looked at both of them
Maybe it was the alcohol,or maybe the pain,or maybe it was that their eyes didn't feel sorry for her, but she felt something change inside her
Something wild,
"Do you always hang around drunk girls outside bars?" she questioned
"Only when they look like trouble," Damon answered
Andrew grinned, "And heartbreak"
Kareen leaned back slowly, the room blurred just enough to make her brave
"If I asked you both to come to my hotel tonight," she said, quietly, "would you come?"
the room fell quiet,
Damon raised an eyebrow, Andrew just smiled wider,
"Are you sure?" Damon asked,
She nodded just once,
And just like that, they got up
Andrew helped her up with one hand on her lower back, Damon paid the bill without saying a word,
They didn't talk again on the elevator ride down,
And when the car stopped, neither of them seemed surprised when she told the driver her hotel name
Kareen leaned her head against the window and whispered to herself
"Don't feel anything, just forget it all, just this once"
She didn't know what to expect upstairs,
But for the first time in hours, she wanted it to be a pain that wasn't heartbreak,
The elevator trip to her room was quiet,
Kareen stayed silent, and so did the others, the strained feeling was like the warmth coming off their bodies,
When the door shut slowly behind them, Andrew placed her softly on the edge of the bed, his touch was gentle but not claiming. Damon stood by the window, without his jacket, he had his sleeves up, staring at her like he was still figuring out what kind of woman she was.
"I can still say no," she whispered softly,
"You can," Damon answered, his expression hidden, "and we'll go if you do."
She didn't respond, not immediately.
Then little by little, she reached for the zipper on the back of her dress,
It slid down easily,
She wasn't focused on Collins anymore, or the necklace, or the hurt that had just ripped her heart open just hours before.
She was only thinking about this,
About how Andrew looked at her with desire mixed with gentleness, about how Damon didn't move as her dress fell to the floor.
She didn't want comfort,
She just wanted to give in completely,
Andrew started, kissing her shoulder, then lower, touching her spine like he was learning a secret, Damon came up from behind, his fingers lightly touching her arms, then her waist, steady, slow, careful.
It wasn't love,
It wasn't even just wanting sex in the usual way,
It was power, or a way to let go,the control passing between three strangers who had nothing to lose in this moment except the lies they told themselves.
Kareen didn't ask their names again,
She didn't want to know more,
She just wanted to feel something strong enough to replace the dull pain she was feeling in her chest,
They undressed her slowly, together, their hands touching as they took turns without speaking,
It was intense and calming at the same time,
Andrew's mouth on her neck, and Damon's hand holding her thigh, her body bending between them, she held her breath, and her heart started beating fast.
And then, everything became unclear,
The rest had happened in quick breaths and heat and tangled bodies,
At one point, Andrew held her still while Damon's voice whispered near her ear, asking her if this was what she needed,
She couldn't say a word,
She didn't even have to,
They already understood,
The Pleasure came in waves, deep and intense, like her body had been starving and just only now remembering how to feed itself.
When it was over, she just layed there out of breath,
All three of them were still for a moment , caught between what just happened and regret.
Kareen didn't fall asleep right away,
But when she did, it was a sleep that made her soul calm, at least for just a little while.
She woke up to light coming through the curtains and the cold air on her bare shoulder,
She was the only one on the bed,
Damon's watch was gone from the nightstand,
And Andrew's jacket was no longer hanging on the chair,
Her heart raced for a second, not because she was afraid, but because of something sharper,
They had left,
And there was no note and no goodbye,
Just silence.
Kareen gradually sat up and brought the sheets closer around herself,
Her lipstick was all messed up, her hair was messy, and she seemed like someone who had misplaced something and tried to hide it with a feeling of pleasure,
And maybe that was truly who she was,
She got up, her bare feet touched the floor, and she went to the bathroom.
Her image in the mirror showed eyes that still belonged to her, but they seemed worn out,
Worn out from having faith in people who grabbed things without asking,
Worn out from acting like she felt no pain,
And Worn out from chasing things that made her feel empty.
In the shower, she let the hot water sting her skin.
She washed herself hard, as if she could cleanse away the past day,
But she knew certain things couldn't be washed off,
She got dressed fast, and wore a simple jeans and a tightly pulled hoodie.
There was no perfume and no lipstick,
She left the room's key on the table and didn't turn around.
The entrance area was calm as she walked through it,
Outside, the city seemed more lit up than it should have, as if the world kept going while she was still learning to breathe.
She didn't know what they were called,
She didn't want to know,
And she kept repeating to herself that she would never see them again...
As she vanished into the crowd of people.