One of the central teachings of the Millis Church was: "One man and one woman are to love only one another—one to one." Although I had run away from home, that doctrine, repeated to me since childhood and the norm in school, remained deeply rooted in me. That is why, one day, I told him: "If you don't touch any other woman, then you can sleep with me." He smiled and accepted.
I knew he was lying to me. But I told myself it didn't matter. If he deceived me, then I could simply stop loving him. I was naive, reckless, and foolish back then. Because from that single time... I ended up pregnant.
I didn't know what to do, and that uncertainty filled me with anxiety.
It never occurred to me that Paul would take responsibility and marry me... and yet, that is how the day of the birth arrived.
It is a day I will never forget, for better or for worse: my two beautiful sons were born, Daiki and Rudeus Greyrat.
My sons.
Mine.
But I also remember the moment Paul accused me of lying to him about Daiki. And I understood it—of course I understood it. From his perspective, it must have been shocking. Even so, I never believed he was capable of accusing me directly. Perhaps I expected him to think it had been a mistake... a mix-up.
Over time, that pain transformed into something different. Into an ironclad determination. Because Daiki is my son, and if Paul had doubted me because of his appearance, then I would love him doubly to make up for it.
Rudeus, always so expressive and curious from the very beginning.
And Daiki, quiet and observant, but also intelligent and unique.
Rudeus always sought my attention.
Daiki accepted it... but never asked for it.
Rudeus smiled with ease.
Daiki... it cost him so much more.
I still remember those afternoons when, as a mere baby, he would watch me with curiosity while I bathed him. And when the day came that he finally smiled, I wept.
It wasn't something brief or belated; it happened in an instant, because I knew it was a unique moment... and because I understood that I had been the one responsible for it.
That single smile, however slight, had been worth every moment of pain since Paul's accusation.
And now, years later, I watched my two eldest sons caring for their younger sisters.
Rudeus was making funny faces at Norn, sticking out his tongue and making ridiculous sounds to make her laugh.
"Bero-bero-baa!"
"Kya, kya, baa, baa!"
Norn laughed in delight.
And Daiki...
Daiki was sitting next to Aisha's crib, a book in one hand. But he wasn't reading it. He was holding it in such a way that the illustrations were visible to the baby.
"This is a rabbit," he said in his calm voice, pointing to the image. "They are soft. They jump a lot."
"Aa!" Aisha babbled, reaching for the page with her tiny hands.
"Correct. Rabbit."
He wasn't making funny faces like Rudeus. He wasn't using silly voices.
But Aisha was completely absorbed, looking at him with eyes full of absolute adoration.
Because that was the difference between my sons.
Rudeus entertained with energy and expression.
Daiki soothed with presence and patience.
"Heheh..."
I couldn't help but giggle at the scene.
Rudeus turned around, smiling.
"Mother? What's so funny?"
"Nothing, dear. Just... you two are so good with your sisters."
"Of course." Rudeus straightened up with obvious pride. "We're going to be the best big brothers."
Daiki said nothing, but I saw the corners of his lips curl slightly. That small smile he reserved for genuine moments.
"Whew..."
I let out a sigh, remembering when they were small. When I discovered Rudeus had a talent for magic, I was filled with joy. And when I saw Daiki execute his first sword movement with a perfection impossible for his age, I knew he was special too.
But over time, I began to suspect something that terrified me.
That perhaps, deep down, they felt no true affection for their family. Rudeus never showed much affection toward me. Daiki was polite but distant.
As if... as if they were here, but not truly present.
But those doubts changed during the scandal of Lilia's pregnancy.
When Paul confessed. When I felt betrayed. When I was on the verge of destroying this family in my rage.
It was my sons who stopped me.
Rudeus, with his careful words, trying to appease the situation.
Daiki, with that cold but devastatingly effective analysis. That relentless logic that forced me to see beyond my pain.
And then, that offer.
"If you still decide to kick her out... then I will go with her."
A six-year-old boy willing to abandon everything to protect an unborn baby.
My son... The one I had come to think felt no familial affection. He was willing to leave us to protect someone. To protect his sister, who hadn't even been born yet.
I cried that night. I cried because I had been so blind.
Daiki did love his family. He just... showed it in a different way.
"Uu... aa!"
My thoughts were interrupted when Aisha began to fuss. Daiki put the book down immediately, assessing the situation.
He checked her diaper: it was dry.
He touched her forehead; her temperature was normal.
Meanwhile, Rudeus had noticed that Norn was also beginning to fuss.
"Oh! I think Norn is hungry too."
"Come here, Rudy. Bring Norn to me."
"Yes!"
I sat in the chair. Rudeus brought Norn to me, while Daiki approached with Aisha.
I uncovered my left breast first, drawing Norn close. She latched on immediately, drinking happily.
And then I noticed Rudeus's gaze.
He was staring fixedly at my chest. With that greedy, perverted expression that didn't seem like that of a seven-year-old.
Definitely Paul's son, I thought with amusement.
"What is it, Rudy? Do you want some too?"
"Eh?!"
Rudeus made a face of surprise and looked away, blushing.
"No, it's nothing. I was just watching how well she drinks."
"Heheh. No, you can't, this is for Norn. Rudy already drank plenty when he was little, so you'll have to hold back."
"...Of course, Mother."
I looked at Daiki, expecting to see... something similar, perhaps.
But my eldest son was looking out the window. Deliberately giving me privacy.
Always so considerate. So mature for his age.
Perhaps too mature.
"Daiki," I called him softly.
He turned.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Can you bring me Aisha as well? Lilia will be late today."
I saw something cross his face. Surprise. Then... relief?
"Are you sure?"
The question hurt. Because I understood what it implied.
Daiki knew about my beliefs. About my Millis teachings. About my internal struggle with accepting Lilia's situation.
And he was asking if I could really, if I truly wanted to feed the daughter of the "other woman."
"Of course I'm sure. Aisha is your sister. Bring her to me."
Something in his expression softened.
"Understood."
He brought Aisha to me with care. I took her in my free arm, uncovering my other breast.
Aisha latched on without hesitation, drinking just as avidly as Norn.
And I felt... peace.
"Look how happily she drinks," I commented.
"Mother's milk is delicious," Rudeus said with that mischievous smile.
"You don't need to flatter me like that."
"It's not a compliment. I remember it well; I still recall the taste."
I let out a giggle.
But I noticed that Daiki was still watching us. Not with Rudeus's lewd gaze.
But as if something that had worried him deeply had finally been resolved.
Ah.
I understood then.
He was afraid I would reject Aisha.
My son, who offered to leave home for the sake of a principle...
He was worried about his baby sister. About how her mother would treat her.
"Daiki," I called.
He stepped closer.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"Why?"
"For worrying. For protecting your sisters. For... for being you."
I saw him blink, clearly not expecting that.
"I... didn't do anything special."
"You did everything," I corrected gently. "You always do. Just in your own way."
He stood in silence, processing.
Then, slowly, he nodded.
"You're welcome, Mother."
Three simple words. But coming from Daiki, who measured every word carefully...
They meant the world.
After both babies had finished feeding and I had put them back in their cribs, I sat down in the chair again.
Rudeus and Daiki were nearby, watching their sisters sleep.
"Hey, Rudy," I called to my younger son.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Can I pat your head?"
"...You don't need permission. You can do it whenever you want."
Rudeus sat next to me and offered his head. I stroked it gently.
Then I looked at Daiki.
"You too, darling."
Daiki blinked, surprised.
"Me too?"
"Of course. Come here."
I saw the hesitation on his face. That moment of doubt.
As if he wasn't sure he deserved physical affection.
My poor baby.
What made you feel this way?
Finally, he approached, sitting on my other side. Stiffer than Rudeus. Less accustomed to this.
I placed my other hand on his black hair.
And I felt his body tense up. Then, slowly, relax again.
There the three of us were, immersed in a comfortable silence.
Through the window came the soft light of a spring day.
"I wish these moments could last forever," I sighed.
"They do," Rudeus replied.
Daiki said nothing. But I felt him leaning into my hand.
Accepting the affection he rarely sought but clearly needed.
"Rudy. Daiki."
"Yes?"
Both answered in unison.
"Thank you for being born. Both of you."
Rudeus blushed, scratching his head.
"On the contrary... thank you."
Daiki didn't answer immediately. But then, so quietly I almost didn't hear him:
"Thank you for accepting me. Despite... everything."
My heart broke a little.
Because I understood what he was referring to.
Despite his different hair. Despite his strange eyes.
My seven-year-old son still carried that guilt.
"Daiki. Look at me."
He lifted those red eyes toward me.
"There is nothing to 'accept.' You are my son. From the moment you were born. From the very first second I saw you. It doesn't matter what your hair looks like. It doesn't matter what your eyes look like. Nothing matters except that you are mine."
"Mother..."
"And I'm sorry... I'm sorry that you ever felt different. That Paul's doubts made you feel you didn't belong."
"It's not your fault."
"But I should have clarified it sooner. I should have told you every day that you were perfect exactly as you are."
Daiki looked at me with an expression more vulnerable than I had ever seen on him.
"I am now. You've shown me. Every day."
"Then let me say it once more." I embraced him, pulling him against me along with Rudeus. "You are perfect. Both of you are. My two eldest sons. So different. So precious. So loved."
Rudeus was already crying.
Daiki... Daiki trembled slightly before finally breaking down into tears.
"I love you," I whispered. "Both of you. Always."
"We love you too, Mother," Rudeus sobbed.
Daiki said nothing. But his arms wrapped around me tightly.
And that was enough.
Because my son with black hair and red eyes, who measured every word and action carefully, who rarely showed affection openly...
Was hugging me as if his life depended on it.
Like the little boy he was beneath all that maturity.
My baby.
My precious, perfect baby.