"They call me omnipotent. I call myself bored."
That's how it all began.
Somewhere beyond the concepts of life and death, a being sat on an endless white chair in an endless white void. He had no face, no eyes, no mouth — just a featureless white body, holding a glowing pad like some divine office clerk.
"Next," he said lazily, voice dripping with exhaustion.
A glowing circle appeared before him as a transparent human flickered into existence.
"No. 5318007," the being announced, scrolling on his pad.
"Huh? Where am I?" the newcomer stammered, eyes wide in disbelief.
"Dead," replied the being flatly. "Sleepwalked off your balcony. Now then, tell me—why should I give you a second life?"
"Dead? What the hell are you talking about!? Are you pranking me? Where are the camer—"
"Noisy."
With a flick of his hand, the soul vanished into nothing.
The white being sighed deeply. "Just how many of these idiots do I have to deal with? I have infinite power, yet I'm stuck here managing dead people. 'Oh, it's an important job, the balance of the world depends on it.' Screw that balance! Let the world collapse for all I care!"
The air rippled as the void began to quake under his tantrum.
Then, a golden light burst open in the middle of the room. The featureless being immediately straightened in his seat.
"What's going on here?" asked a cold, divine voice from the light.
"My amazing and super fun job that I totally love doing, sir~" the being said quickly. "What brings you here?"
"...We felt a disturbance. You wouldn't be the cause, would you?"
"Me?!" He gasped dramatically. "Never! I was simply… passionately doing my duties. If anything, I might be too devoted."
"Enough nonsense. Do not harm the souls. The balance depends on it."
As the golden light faded, the white being slumped back in his seat.
"'The balance depends on it,' blah blah blah. Balance my foot," he muttered mockingly. "Huak tuah!"
He tapped his pad with irritation. "Next."
Another soul appeared.
"No. 5318008."
A transparent boy materialized mid-scream. "Stop! What are you doing!? I'm a man!"
"I know you're a man. Why are you yelling that? Anyway, let's see…" the being mumbled, scanning his pad. "Ah. Died at ten years old."
"Huh… dead?" the boy whispered, trembling.
"Yup. Cause of death — got stuck in a washing machine. Your uncle tried to 'help,' pulled your pants down, and right before… well, that happened, an earthquake hit and the house collapsed. You died instantly."
The boy's face turned crimson as he hugged his knees, mortified.
"Weird death," the being said casually. "Don't get many like that."
He leaned forward. "Now then, No. 5318008 — why should I give you a second life?"
"...Can you really do that?"
"Not surprised? No panic? Huh, refreshing. Most souls scream."
"Well… I'm transparent, so I guess I'm dead. And this place doesn't exactly look like Earth," said the boy cautiously.
"Finally, someone with brain cells." The being sighed in satisfaction. "So then, why should I reincarnate you?"
"I died young…"
"Babies die younger. Try harder."
"I died in a weird way?"
"Seen weirder. One guy tried to prove humans could charge phones by putting his 'cylinder' in a wall socket."
"...Do I have any reason better than others?"
The being tapped his chin. "Not really. You're average. Slightly unlucky, maybe cursed with bad relatives."
"My number's 5318008, right?"
"Yes."
"When you type that in a calculator and flip it, it spells 'boobies.'"
The featureless being froze. "...You know what? That's stupid enough to amuse me. Approved."
"Wait—really!?"
"Yeah, I'm bored. You're the most tolerable soul I've met in centuries," he said, snapping his fingers. The boy's form began to shrink into a glowing wisp.
"Memories vanish, karma reset, fun factor added — now go."
"Will I return to my old body?" asked the boy nervously.
"Nope. You're going somewhere new. Let's see…" He scrolled his pad rapidly. "AOT? Nah, too much death. DxD? Hell no, you're a kid. Ooh—JJK! That'll be fun."
The golden pad shimmered as the god grinned for the first time in ages.
"Alright, off you go. Let's see what kind of chaos you bring to the Zenin clan. Maybe I'll finally get some entertainment out of this dull existence."
The boy tried to speak, but his soul was already dissolving into light.
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Meanwhile, Somewhere in the Jujutsu Kaisen World…
A small child stirred awake on a futon embroidered with gold threads. His body felt heavy, his mind hazy.
"...Where am I?" he murmured softly, his voice that of a four-year-old.
He blinked at the ornate room around him — tatami mats, sliding doors, and the faint scent of incense.
Then, he caught his reflection in a polished mirror.Short golden hair, fair skin, and sharp, almost regal eyes that didn't fit his tiny frame.
He frowned in confusion. "Who... am I?"
A flood of memories slammed into his mind — clan gatherings, cursed techniques, arrogance, cruelty. None of them were his.
Outside, distant voices echoed through the hallway — proud, harsh, commanding.
"Naoya-sama, breakfast is ready!" called a servant.
The boy blinked at the name, tilting his head slightly. "Naoya...?"
He didn't understand why, but the sound felt heavy — as if the name itself carried a weight he didn't deserve.
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Somewhere beyond existence, the featureless being watched with amusement.
"And thus begins… That Time a Random OP Being Transferred the Soul of a Random Kid into the Insufferable Trash of the Zenin Clan."
He chuckled to himself.
"...What do you mean the title's too long?"