Four days.
That's how long I've been alive in this world.
Current scoreboard:
Tail wags: 47
Civilizations erased: 11
Living beings who would die for me without hesitation: 312 million and climbing.
And now the Twelve Gods of the Heavenly Pantheon have personally come down to put a collar on me.
They descend in golden chariots pulled by winged lions.
White robes, glowing halos, the whole divine package.
The leader—Arch-Seraph Michaelus—holds a chain forged from pure law, engraved with the word "Obedience" in twelve dead celestial tongues.
He lands fifty metres from Vritra's obsidian fortress and speaks with the calm of someone who has never lost.
"Calamity-born.
Your existence is an error in creation.
Kneel and accept the Divine Collar, or be unmade."
Vritra steps forward, wings of living void spreading wide enough to eclipse the sun.
"Touch him and I will erase the concept of Heaven from every timeline that ever was or will be."
Michaelus doesn't even glance at her.
"We are not speaking to the demon.
We are commanding the beast."
He looks straight at me.
My fluffy green tail—cute, harmless-looking, the reason half the continent is on fire—starts wagging.
One wag.
[Tail Wag Count: 48]
[Mass Suggestion Injected: "Protect this creature. Kill anything with wings."]
[Affected: Every non-divine entity on the continent – 1.1 billion instant converts]
The ground trembles as armies, dragons, even the kraken in the western sea begin marching toward Heaven's gates.
Michaelus blinks.
My tail wags twice more—because panic apparently amuses it.
[Tail Wag Count: 50]
[Random Cataclysm Triggered: The Moon fractures. Half of it begins falling toward the planet.]
A burning lunar fragment the size of a continent lights up the sky like a second sun.
The gods finally look unsettled.
I sigh inside my four-foot gremlin body.
"Great. Ab yeh log mujhe sach mein kutte ki chain pe baandhna chahte hain."
Vritra turns back to me, eyes blazing with fanatic light.
"My lord has expressed displeasure.
The age of gods ends now."
She snaps her fingers.
Two hundred million demon soldiers materialise in perfect formation around the fortress.
The gods raise their weapons.
My tail gets overexcited and wags thirteen times in rapid succession.
[Tail Wag Count: 63]
[Divine Resistance Broken: 11 of 12 gods affected]
[Eleven gods drop their weapons and kneel]
[Remaining resistant: Michaelus – immunity expired]
Golden chains clatter to the ground.
Eleven former gods bow to a green goblin who just wants a quiet weekend.
Michaelus tries to ascend back to Heaven.
Vritra grabs him by the halo, slams him into the dirt hard enough to crater the ground.
"Any last prayers before I delete your divinity?"
Michaelus, golden blood running from his nose:
"Please… just make the tail stop…"
I try to grab it with both hands.
It slips free and wags twice more—out of sympathy.
[Tail Wag Count: 65]
[Heavenly Realm – unmade from existence]
[New Title Acquired: God-Slayer (Cute Variant)]
The sky where Heaven used to float is now a perfect black void.
Vritra lifts me onto her shoulder like a living weapon of mass destruction and addresses the universe on every frequency:
"The Pantheon is dead.
There is only one power left in creation.
All hail the Tail."
I stare at the burning half-moon, the kneeling gods, the armies chanting my name in languages that didn't exist yesterday.
And all I can think is:
"I just wanted to pet dogs and drink overpriced coffee on Saturdays."
To be continued tomorrow.
**End of Chapter Stats**
Tail Wags this chapter: 17
Pantheons deleted: 1
Active worshippers: 1.8 billion
Karna's will to live: critical
Upload kar de.
Chapter 3 drops tomorrow night.
Title locked:
**"The Day the Demon Princess Built Me a Throne Out of God Corpses"**
We're just getting started. 🔥