Chapter 62 – An Animated Conversation
The Hazbin Hotel lobby was buzzing with its usual chaotic energy, the air thick with the scent of old wood, cheap perfume, and the faint metallic tang of Hell's atmosphere. Razan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking mildly amused as he watched Charlie pace back and forth in front of the group.
Razan said:
— Well, why did you call me here, Charlie? I'm curious.
Charlie said, stopping her pacing and turning to face him with her usual bright, determined smile:
— Well, as you know, the hotel only opened 5 days ago. So I need your help to get things in place.
Alastor, standing nearby with his ever-present grin, tilted his head slightly and said smiling:
— Oh, princess, we shouldn't bother our dear black dragon here. He must have more important matters, like sleeping or sleeping more.
Razan said smiling, his eyes narrowing slightly in playful challenge:
— How did you guess, huh, you noisy demon? You're quite intelligent, as expected from the demon of lies.
Alastor said, his static-filled voice dripping with mock humility:
— Well, I try. After all, I'm not a concept of a sin like certain privileged people.
Razan smiled and said:
— You're right about that.
Charlie, seeing them starting to bicker again, quickly interrupted, waving her hands to get their attention:
— Alastor, weren't you going to show us the commercial?
Alastor, hearing this, blinked once and said with exaggerated surprise:
— That's true, how indelicate of me. I ended up forgetting about that.
He then turned on the TV with a flourish of his cane, the screen flickering to life with a burst of static. They then sat down to watch, chairs scraping against the worn floor as everyone settled in.
After one minute of video, Razan started laughing, the sound deep and genuine:
— Hahahahah! I can't deny that this guy knows how to be funny.
Loona punched him in the head and said, her voice a mix of annoyance and affection:
— Stop laughing! You know how important this is to Charlie.
Razan said, rubbing the spot where she hit him:
— Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Vaggie said, crossing her arms and glaring:
— What the hell was that?
Charlie said, her face falling slightly as she looked at Alastor:
— So, Alastor, first I thank you for doing this for us, but don't you think it's a little difficult for people to believe they can be saved here?
Alastor said, his grin widening:
— I think it's hilarious.
Razan said:
— Right, right, Charlie? Can I hit him?
He said while pointing at Alastor.
Angel, seeing Razan, leaned forward with a skeptical look and said:
— Are you sure you're the black dragon everyone talks about? You don't seem very...
Razan smiling said:
— Powerful, intimidating, powerful, imposing… is that what you meant?
Angel said:
— Well, that's it.
Razan said:
— I understand.
He then jumped into Loona's lap and said, wrapping his arms around her neck playfully:
— Look, Loona, I'm not imposing. Help me!
Loona kicked him away with surprising force and said:
— How about you start by stopping being an idiot?
All the guests were shocked seeing her kick him, jaws dropping as Razan flew through the air.
Razan peeled himself off the wall he was stuck to and said, brushing dust off his clothes:
— But what fun would life be if I were super boring?
Vaggie said, pinching the bridge of her nose:
— You two stop this mess. Our hotel can't handle your games.
Razan said:
— Sorry about that, Vaggie.
Loona said: Yes, sorry for the inconvenience. I'll be careful from now on.
Angel looked at them and asked, raising an eyebrow:
— Are you guys really demons?
Razan sat on the floor and grabbed a chocolate cookie from a nearby table and said:
— Correction: I'm a dangerous dragon. She's a hellhound with several upgrades I gave her. I'm awesome, aren't I?
Loona said: Most awesome partnership if you weren't eating a pack of chocolate cookies while talking.
She then threw a handkerchief at him and said:
— Here, wipe your face.
Razan grabbed the handkerchief and thanked:
— Yes, thank you very much, dear.
Loona smiling said: You're welcome, you idiot.
She then looked at them staring and said:
— What is it?
Husk asked, leaning on the bar with a tired sigh:
— Just one doubt: I'm in hell, right? Why am I watching a romantic drama of two teenagers in hell? Where's the evil? Where's the betrayal? What the hell are you guys doing?
Razan tilted his head and said:
— Well, like, we grew up together and always support each other since we were little. So you won't find that in us. Sorry.
Angel said:
— Well, I thought the princess's relationship with Vaggie was weird, but now there's an even weirder one. You can only say that being friends for many years makes them all the same and innocent. I don't know how they're still alive to this day.
Loona said: Well, Charlie had a strong father and mother to take care of her. I had this idiot. So, besides the beginning of my first years, I had this idiot protecting me. That's why we're like this.
Angel said with envy:
— I really don't know what to say about your situations, only that the world, even in hell, isn't fair.
Alastor smiling said:
— We're in hell, little one. You want to expect justice from this place? It's hilarious.
Angel said:
— Well, you're right about that.
At that moment, Nifty was about to jump on Razan and shouted:
— Bad thing!
Razan jumped avoiding her and dug his claws into the ceiling like a scared cat, hanging there with wide eyes.
Everyone was shocked seeing this.
Even Charlie, it was the first time she asked Loona worriedly:
— Is he okay?
Loona looked at her smiling and said: He's fine. This problem is because he's a dragon. He's super mega sensitive to smells and that's why he doesn't go to parties and things like that. And since it's a dump to him, and when Nifty who was dirty tries to touch him, he reacts like that.
Charlie looked at Razan on the ceiling and gave a mischievous smile and said:
— I understand. Good to know.
Vaggie, seeing her smile, said:
— Well, don't tease him too much.
Nifty, seeing him up there, shouted:
— Bad thing! Come down from there! I have a string of cockroaches to give you!
Razan said smiling, with the corners of his mouth twitching:
— Why don't you give it to Alastor? I bet he'll love it.
Alastor said:
— What a shame, such a powerful being afraid of a little girl.
Vaggie said:
— Well, enough of the mess. Let's get back to what matters: how to attract people to this hotel, since our sovereign here says it's a waste of time and doesn't want to help at all.
Vaggie then looked at Razan on the ceiling and said:
— And you're more popular than him. Can't you help?
Razan said:
— Impossible. My popularity with most sinners is negative. After all, thanks to my recruitment method using the power of truth, I don't have a very good reputation with those who don't pass the tests. They say I'm arrogant for judging them even though everyone is fucked in hell. But what can you do? I believe in the difference between being a piece of trash and a pile of trash. So those I'm popular with already went to my city and those I'm not popular with won't listen to me much.
Vaggie hearing this sighed tiredly and said:
— There's no one with a good idea to attract attention?
Angel said:
— If you're recording a commercial, I think it makes sense to take advantage of this talented celebrity you have right here.
He said while pointing to his face.
Vaggie said:
— Angel, you're a porn actor.
Angel said:
— A great porn actor. My entire clientele is capable of bringing this little place down for me.
Vaggie shouted:
— We're not turning the commercial into porn!
Angel said:
— Why not? Sex sells. I swear, if you film me going all out with Mr. Megaphone Voice here, there would already be a line of people at the door just wanting to enter this crappy hotel.
Alastor said:
— Haha, that's not going to happen.
Razan from above shouted:
— Go for it, Alastor! I'll be spreading the porn across hell so everyone knows where to plug your microphone cord.
Alastor said:
— If you want to help so much, go yourself.
Razan said:
— I'm a married man of respect and straight. At most a furry, but nothing involving other men.
Loona, hearing the furry part, threw a ball of darkness at him, knocking him off the ceiling and said:
— Don't talk shit! You don't have an image to protect, but I do, you idiot!
Razan said, raising his arm:
— Sorry. I probably already knew this was going to happen.
Charlie looked at him and asked:
— So why did you do it?
Razan said:
— Well, it's fun to do this.
Angel, seeing this, said:
— Hey, I have a doubt. We have several powerful people in hell. Couldn't we, like, force them to stay here?
Razan said:
— Sorry, my friend. I don't like using my power for massacres. It's exclusive for protecting who I like.
He pointed to his head and said:
— Otherwise I can get super crazy because of the war and destruction. So I avoid that.
Angel said:
— You avoid fighting? What the hell!
But then she pointed at Alastor and said:
— He can't force them to stay?
Alastor smiling said:
— Yes, I can.
Husk said:
— Why do you think I'm here? Do you think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you moaning like sluts if I wasn't forced to be here?
Nifty said:
— But I like being forced!
Husk said:
— Keep that to yourself, Nifty.
At that moment, Charlie saw her phone ringing. She then picked it up and left the room.
Vaggie looked at Angel and said:
— We can't force anyone to stay here, understood? It has to be a choice.
Angel said:
— I'm here because I want to and I think it's nonsense. We're in hell, love. This is already the bottom of the pit. There's no way it can get worse.
Razan, who was lying on Loona's lap, said:
— Speak for yourself, my buddy. When you're strong, it doesn't matter what the fuck place you're in. You turn it into what you want. It's not you adapting to the fucking world, you make the world adapt to you.
Angel looked at him and said:
— Well, now I believe you're strong.
Razan said:
— Right, thanks.
Then he looked at Charlie talking in the corner with her father and thought:
It looks like she's going to meet Adam. Will they reduce the extermination time like in the original after so much shit? Well, let's see