The morning sun was gentle and warm, streaming through the windows of the skyfaring battleship and filling the room with a tranquil ambiance.
The faint dawn light illuminated a corner of the room, a touch as gentle as a baby's caress, awakening all that slept.
"Nngh..."
Asleep, Bronya snuggled against her Homu-shaped pillow, naturally turning her head to the other side of her arm. The silver-gray turbines of her hair flopped over with the movement.
Sunlight filtered through the fine curtains, blanketing the girl with the tragic childhood and tracing her form in a golden outline. Specks of dust danced in the light, like countless tiny, leaping sprites.
It wasn't until the Homu alarm clock by her bed chimed with a pleasant melody that the girl groggily opened her eyes.
"Project Bunny, what time is it?"
She smacked her lips a few times, not even waiting for Project Bunny to respond before grabbing the phone from her bedside table.
8:30 AM.
Time to get up.
If she didn't, her jerk brother would start nagging her.
"Project Bunny, help the Bronya wash her face and brush her teeth."
The girl pushed herself up, yawning as one side of her pajamas slipped off her shoulder.
The knight-like armor materialized beside her and did as commanded.
Though it couldn't show any expression, you could almost feel the pinnacle of Previous Era technology exuding a faint air of exasperation.
After a refreshing shower, Bronya changed into a new outfit Kiana had helped design a couple of days ago, put on her goggles and a cute hair accessory, and stepped out of her room.
The moment she arrived on the bridge, the little girl, stretching languidly, was treated to quite a show.
"Aahm... nom nom."
A still-half-asleep Kiana, mouth agape, was repeatedly trying to bite a donut floating in front of her.
Yet, no matter how she advanced, she remained tantalizingly out of reach.
This was perfectly normal.
The donut was dangling from a thin thread created by a Shadow Blade, held at a fixed distance from Kiana. Whenever she moved, it moved with her.
And the shining star of humanity responsible for this was currently roaring with laughter at the sight of her running around, unable to get her food.
"Bro," Bronya said, at a complete loss for words. "It's first thing in the morning. Act human for a change."
"Woof!"
Soth, lying in the corner, barked in agreement. As everyone knew, there were two dogs on the Hyperion.
"Oh?" Fuli, who was busy teasing the big white cat, glanced over. "Hey sweetie, new look?"
She wore a cool, asymmetrical white chest-guard tank top that accentuated her cute figure, an open blue crop-top jacket, and ultra-short hot pants. Her pale legs were clad in athletic ankle boots, with a fishnet calf sock on the left leg and a small, delicate dagger strapped to the right.
"Kiana designed it?" He stroked his chin. "She's got some skills. Not bad, not bad."
—Silver Wolf Type-II Aether Combat Suit, created for Bronya by Mei. A C-rank tech suit designed for cyber warfare. Its main functions were divided into combat support and an optical module, and it provided a defensive capability that, while negligible for an A-rank Valkyrie, was sufficient to withstand continuous direct hits from a tank.
Fuli added, "I dismantled one of your military bio-armors back in Nagazora City, so I guess this makes up for it."
"Well said." The little duckling pouted. "So, about the five Starstone Shields the Bronya lent you, I assume you've already thought of a compensation plan for those, Bro?"
It was actually eight, but the little girl had consciously decided not to count the three Fuli had swiped after her initial defeat.
"I misspoke just now. This is actually an employee benefit of the Hyperion," Fuli said, quickly putting on his ugly capitalist face. "Don't sweat the small stuff all the time. Let bygones be bygones."
The girl, who hadn't really expected to get them back anyway, rolled her eyes at him. She threw her small frame into the soft sofa, propping her booted feet up on the coffee table.
Her slender fingers lazily tapped the virtual keyboard a couple of times, and the dream bubble above Kiana's head popped.
"Ah!"
The white-haired Tuna snapped awake, instantly spotting the Shadow thread holding the donut.
"You... damn... FU... LI—!"
She was furious! Unusually furious!
She pounced like a starving cat, grabbed Fuli's head, and began gnawing on it relentlessly.
It was such a bloody scene, you might accidentally mistake them for a couple flirting.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Let's get to business, business!"
He yelped in pain, quickly admitting defeat. Only then did she let go with a cold snort.
A moment later, Fuli, now sporting a mostly decorative bandage on his head, returned like a flash of lightning.
"Mei's birthday is in a few days. Have you all prepared gifts for her?"
"All prepared." Bronya rested her head on her hands, the butterfly-shaped accessory in her hair fluttering gently. "Guaranteed to please Her Majesty."
Although they had all agreed to keep it a secret from Mei to give her a surprise, the girl suspected that someone as sharp as her had to have noticed something was up.
The reason she hadn't said anything was probably like when you're eating chips in your dorm room and suddenly hear your roommate on the top bunk stir. If you keep eating, you're just fueling their ambitions.
Fuli raised an eyebrow. "Guaranteed? That confident?"
"Don't you worry about a thing, Bro." Bronya-chan clearly didn't want to elaborate. "What about you, Bro? Did you prepare a gift?"
"Well..." The boy scratched his cheek. "I have some ideas, but I don't know which one to pick."
The Finality Coordinator System evolved along with its host's strength. It had been some time since Fuli had reached A-rank, and the system had recently developed two new functions.
The first was the ability to extract skills he had mastered and transform them into crystalline cards called "Light Cones."
Anyone who held a Light Cone could use the ability recorded on it as if they'd mastered it themselves, with a proficiency identical to the original user.
For example, the Demon Blade: Shiranui. Although the newly reincarnated Fuli had used it to wreak havoc in Nagazora City, the skill was now mostly useless to his A-rank self. So, he had simply extracted it and made it into a Light Cone.
Fuli planned to give this to Mei as a birthday present.
Not for her to use, but so she could study the Light Cone and mass-produce it.
He was sure Mei would love such a novelty.
The second new function was the opening of the System Store.
Simply put, every forty-eight hours, it would randomly refresh with five mysterious items, which Fuli could acquire by trading items that met the corresponding conditions.
When Fuli first learned of this function, he was moved to tears. His system was finally acting like a proper system!
If it didn't make its presence known soon, the readers in the upper narrative layer might forget that he was a noble reincarnator with a system!
With the help of the System Store, he had picked out a few of the randomly generated items as potential birthday gifts for Mei.
But, you know how it is. Once you have options, you start to hesitate.
To this day, he still hadn't made up his mind on which one to give her.
Seeing Fuli hemming and hawing, Bronya pouted and thought to herself: Honestly, the best birthday gift for Raiden Mei would be to wash yourself, tie yourself up with a red ribbon, and stuff yourself in a gift box.
She didn't dare to imagine how beautiful and brutal that scene would be!
Oh no! I can almost hear that crazy woman's maniacal laughter!
The devious little sister shook her head and turned to Kiana. "What about you, idiot?"
"Me? I'm worried about Shenzhou's birth rate," the big, white-haired husky replied, pausing her shenanigans. "Hey, you guys, if we're facing a declining birth rate, why don't we just force prisoners to pair up? Have one baby, get one year off your sentence. The kids won't pass the political background check, so they can only work in factories, and we won't have to worry about them competing for civil service jobs."
"Huh?"
Bronya was floored. One, she couldn't comprehend Kiana's bizarre train of thought, and two, she couldn't comprehend Kiana's bizarre train of thought.
She tapped the table, trying to bring the rambling lunatic back to reality. "The Bronya meant your birthday gift for Raiden Mei!"
"Oh, that." Kiana snapped out of it and gave her a thumbs-up. "I bought it ages ago! Just waiting for the delivery guy to bring it over!"
Her white teeth sparkled in the sunlight.
Bronya could only think that this Paramecium had to have some serious issues.
"We're in the sky above the Pacific Ocean! What kind of delivery service can get a package to a skyfaring battleship over the Pacific?! Dongfeng Express?"
"Don't worry about such trivial details. The seller said next-day delivery, so it'll definitely get here," Kiana said with inexplicable confidence. "I just got the latest popular movies from Shenzhou, YOLO and Bureau 749, from my resource group. Wanna watch?"
"Sure, why not? Nothing else to do during the day."
Fuli also pulled up a stool and even conjured up some popcorn and Coca-Cola.
The LCD screen quickly flickered to life. Surprisingly, it wasn't a grand, epic opening sequence, but an alluring woman whose face was obscured, performing an extremely sensual dance.
Her body twisted flexibly on the stage, every movement filled with power and beauty. Her hips swayed with the rhythm, full of temptation and charm, and her movements grew bolder and more unrestrained as the music reached its climax.
As the BGM faded, she ended her performance gracefully, her figure vanishing into the darkness.
All that was left for the audience was the endless fantasy of her silhouette, and a line of glittering text:
[A prime 'unit,' awaiting your tenancy~]
[Clubhouse Phone: Xxxx-Xxxxxxx]
Fuli: (ᗜ˰ ᗜ)
Kiana: (ᗜ˰ ᗜ)
Bronya: (ᗜ˰ ᗜ)
"Why is there product placement?"
"Probably because it's a pirated copy. Wait, there's more?!"
Seeing another ad about to start, Kiana quickly grabbed the remote. "I'll just fast-forward."
Two hours later, the three of them were sprawled out, completely drained. They envied Mei, who was out shopping for equipment, and Kallen, who was on vacation, taking a stroll along the satellite signals to keep her company.
"Wh-what was... all that?"
"Idiot Kiana, if you wanted to kill the Bronya, just... say so. Why use this method... to take us all down with you."
"Waaah! I didn't do it on purpose!"
Kiana, who usually just made up shit, was no longer satisfied with fiction and had served up two big bowls of actual shit movies.
She could probably be called the "real Kiana" now. Close enough, right? Heh, you couldn't help but chuckle.
"Anyway, Father, change the disc."
Fuli, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, pushed himself up and crawled toward the TV with all his might.
He was about to press the button when he froze.
"Kiana?"
"Huh?"
"Why... didn't you plug the TV in...?"
"I didn't plug it in?" Kiana-chan scratched her head. "I thought I did?"
"Wait!" Bronya's expression instantly turned to horror. "If it wasn't plugged in, then how was the movie playing just now?!"
They stared at each other. A cold wind seemed to blow through the room, a chill seeping in from all directions, shrouding the entire world in an invisible shadow.
"Don't panic!" Fuli silently crawled back, hiding behind Kiana and using her as a shield. "It's probably just a new type of TV from Anti-Entropy! Built-in battery, super long life, haha! So viewers can enjoy movies anytime, anywhere!"
"I-it could also be that the TV stand is directly connected to the ship!" Kiana ducked back, grabbed Fuli, and pulled him in front of her. "That's how high-tech stuff works, right? No visible wires, clean and... and hygienic!"
"Yes! That's right! That's it!" Fuli shouted to psych himself up, only to feel something slam into his chest.
Startled, he looked down.
It was Bronya.
The little girl, her face buried in her brother's chest, raised a finger and pointed shakily at the TV screen.
His heart dropped. He forced himself to look.
The screen was split in two by a dark sky and earth. Gnarled, dead trees clawed their way out to the sides, revealing an uncovered, ancient well.
A hand suddenly reached out from the well.
The hand was pale, translucent, and slender. Faint blue veins were visible, and it had none of the warmth of a living human.
Then another, identical hand appeared. They pressed against the rim of the well, working together to support the pale figure that emerged.
The figure was slender and tall. Long, black hair fell over her face, obscuring most of it, revealing only a pointed chin and one side of her collarbone.
She quickly climbed out of the well. Her bare feet stepped onto the damp soil. Shoulders slumped, she slowly walked toward Fuli and the others, toward the screen.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
That was Kiana, screaming as she hugged Fuli, trying to meld herself into his body.
"0-Oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U... J0-OoooooooooooAAE-0-A-A-U-U-A... E-Eee-Ee-Eee!!!"
That was the Master of the Hyperion, so scared he was autotuning as he summoned hundreds of Shadow Blades, ready for a full-scale bombardment.
"Project Bunny! Fire!"
That was Bronya-chan, who relied on Kiana in good times, Fuli in bad times, and was the most dependable of all in a crisis.
"Wait, wait, wait a minute!"
Seeing things were about to get out of hand, the white figure on the screen quickly pushed aside her long bangs.
"I'm a delivery person! Just making a delivery! Didn't a Miss White Moon Knight order something from the Tiangong Kaiwu app for next-day delivery? I'm the courier responsible for getting it to you!"
Her voice was creepy, but surprisingly well-modulated.
As if to prove her point, she rummaged through her wide, white sleeves, muttering, "A package starting with nine, should have been shipped last night... ah! Got it! [Golden Middle Finger / Hardness & Softness Adjustable]!"
Ms. Sadako pulled out a crudely wrapped package. With a stretch of her small hand, she broke through the barrier between the 2D and 3D worlds and presented it to Fuli and the others. "Here! This is it! The address is for this place!"
The screaming duo of Fuli and Kiana instantly froze.
They looked at each other.
"[Golden Middle Finger / Hardness & Softness Adjustable]. You ordered this?"
"I ordered something, but this..." Kiana stared, dumbfounded, at Ms. Sadako on the screen. Looking closely, she realized that although the woman had a gloomy aura and her long, black hair covered one eye, she was actually quite pretty?
Fear comes from a lack of kinks. Realizing the woman's looks and figure were quite to her liking, the white-haired Tuna cleared her throat and, under the escort of a swarm of Shadow Blades and Project Bunny, accepted the package.
After opening it and checking, she nodded. "This is indeed what I bought while browsing a WeChat mini-program last night."
"So, it was a misunderstanding?"
"Of course, it was a misunderstanding!" Ms. Sadako looked like she was about to cry. You think Fuli and the others were scared? She had nearly been scared out of her pants!
Who knew the person on the other side would be a Kaslana?!
For an energy-based being and cryptozoological lifeform like her, the Kaslana clan, with their absolute Honkai resistance, were her natural predators! The kind that could beat her until her soul dissipated with just a few punches!
Bronya didn't let her guard down just because the misunderstanding was cleared. "If you were delivering a package, couldn't you have given us a heads-up? Or maybe announced your intentions loudly when you came out of the well? Why did you have to strike that pose and scare people?"
The girl narrowed her pale gray eyes, her tone growing dangerous. "You saw the delivery address was unfamiliar, so you decided to put on a show to scare them, only for it to almost backfire. That's not the kind of twisted scenario we're looking at here, is it?"
"O-of course not!" she said, her eyes darting around guiltily.
"Bro, get her out of there."
Ms. Sadako's face stiffened. She was about to say she had more work to do.
"You got it!"
Fuli, still harboring a full measure of vengeful feelings and a tiny bit of curiosity from being scared, lifted the TV. The ghost was already halfway out, but now, with a CRACK!, she fell straight out of the sky and landed in front of the three of them.
"I think I just heard a not-so-pleasant sound?" Kiana blinked.
"It's fine, just a stiff neck."
Seeing no way out, Ms. Sadako raised her hands and twisted her crooked head to the other side.
"Better?"
"It broke."
"Whoa—!"
This development stunned the teenagers, whose average age was just fifteen, and the unpleasant atmosphere immediately eased.
"If the dead were bound by the same common sense as the living, being a ghost would be exhausting," Ms. Sadako said, casually shaking her head. "Allow me to introduce myself. Sadako Yamamura, formerly of The Ring, a terrifyingly evil spirit, now officially recruited by the Taixu Frontline and trained to be a top-performing logistics courier. I currently reside in the vertical launch silo of a Dongfeng-series missile."
The subtext was: You can mess with me, but don't go too far! I have connections!
"An old well is a well, and a missile silo is a well, right?" Fuli quipped, holding Bronya to comfort her. "How does delivering packages by moving between TV screens even work?"
The girl was really worked up, or maybe she was just truly terrified.
"Don't ask. The answer is 'Honkai can do anything.' Don't let petty things like reality and the laws of physics limit your imagination, handsome boy!" Ms. Sadako gave him a wink, her ample front armor jiggling.
Kiana wiped the drool from her mouth. "So ghosts and monsters really exist in this world?"
"The Art of War states: A sovereign cannot raise an army because he is enraged, nor can a general fight a battle because he is resentful. Move when it is advantageous, and stop when it is not. Anger can turn back to joy, and resentment to happiness. But a fallen kingdom cannot be restored, and the dead cannot be brought back to life." Ms. Sadako said calmly, "Guess why he said the dead cannot be brought back to life?"
Fuli offered his own hypothesis. "It's probably when a person's soul, before it has completely dissipated, coincidentally comes into contact with a special type of Honkai energy. The two combine, causing some kind of reaction, and thus they acquire a spiritual body that is different from carbon-based or silicon-based life."
The world allowed consciousness to match with a new vessel, but it didn't allow a vessel to collect a dissipated soul.
But if a soul acquired a new and suitable vessel before it had completely dissipated, then there was a chance it could live again.
"I see!" Kiana slammed a fist into her palm, indicating she hadn't understood a single word.
"Basically, it's something like what that little brother said?" Ms. Sadako shrugged. "Of course, the prerequisite is that you have to have some kind of spiritual talent."
The Kaslana clan couldn't do this. When their bodies died, their souls were directly ground away by the restraining Stigma genes within them, leaving only memories to merge into the Stigma space.
She sniffed the air. "Smells good. It's making me a little hungry."
"Then why don't you stay for a meal?" Fuli extended a friendly invitation.
Even with Kallen taking over and automating everything, Fuli was still in charge of the meals on the Hyperion.
You couldn't expect a proper Kaslana to cook anything above "edible," even if she was currently an A.I.
"Will the little one in your arms agree?"
"The Bronya has no objection."
Unlike Fuli, who was simply (?) asking her to stay for a meal, the girl had come to her senses and realized the convenience Ms. Sadako offered.
Online shopping! Modern people couldn't live without it! What was the difference between that and a village with no internet?!
Previously, Bronya didn't know packages could be delivered to the Hyperion. She always had to wait until the battleship was near land to restock supplies before she could clear her shopping cart.
During that time, she had to deal with various customs issues and delays, and the probability of a package getting lost was as high as fifty percent.
It wasn't that the girl hadn't thought of using Light and Shadow News Pigeons to deliver items, but while these Honkai derivatives that looked like fat little birds were theoretically more reliable than humans, they had their own limitations.
They were gluttonous and could be easily captured by others on the way, their mail possibly swapped. They might not even be captured by people.
Therefore, the farther the distance, the less reliable the pigeons became.
And more importantly, pigeons procrastinated.
But now, she could buy whatever she wanted, and it would be delivered to her door the next day!
Dammit! Why didn't the Bronya realize this sooner?!
What? Only an idiot like Kiana would think of ordering delivery over the Pacific Ocean?
Oh, never mind then.
"In that case, it would be rude to refuse."
A few moments later, the cat-cakes thoughtfully set out the food.
Just as Kiana was about to dig in, she seemed to remember something and put down her Australian lobster. "By the way, if you're a ghost, don't you have to eat offerings?"
"Yes, we can only touch offerings if incense is lit." Ms. Sadako gave her an appreciative look. "But it doesn't have to be too much trouble. Just get me a bowl of rice and stick three incense sticks in it."
Fuli did as she asked.
Kiana, however, continued her investigative line of questioning. "Why three incense sticks? Can't it be one?"
Then she watched, dumbfounded, as Ms. Sadako pulled out the other two incense sticks and started using them as chopsticks to shovel food into her mouth.
The meal was a joyous affair for both hosts and guest. After eating and drinking her fill, Ms. Sadako checked the time.
"I have to deliver food to the folks on the Tiangong Space Station next. If I don't, they'll have to drink the recycled water left by the previous crew. Gotta go."
"If you have any small packages you want to send, you can call me. Fair prices, no cheating, and safety is guaranteed."
No kidding. Who in the world would have the guts to break into a Dongfeng missile silo?
After sending off the well-fed Ms. Sadako, the remaining three little ones looked at each other.
"The world is truly a magical place," Fuli said with a sigh. "And now, Kiana, Mei's birthday present is confiscated."
"Why?!" the Paramecium shrieked.
"Why? You guess why." Fuli sneered, raising his hand. As Kiana's expression grew more and more guilty, he snapped the thing on with a click.
[Name: Golden Middle Finger]
[Rank: E]
[Category: Item]
[Effect: This item appears as an exquisitely crafted golden finger cot, approximately 20 centimeters in size. Its material is smooth to the touch, firm yet soft, with adjustable levels.
There are three buttons on each side of the finger cot: the left side adjusts the power, and the right side adjusts the vibration speed. Both have three settings.
Setting one can vibrate ten times per second, setting two a hundred times per second, and setting three a thousand times per second.]
[Remark: Ehehe, you know what it's for~]
"I know what it's for. It's a massage gun. Don't run!"
"Waaah!"
Fuli dashed behind the fleeing Kiana and grabbed her by the ankle.
He pulled off her slipper and pressed the 20-centimeter Golden Middle Finger against the tender, sensitive sole of her foot.
"You lecher! How dare you try to corrupt my Mei!"
—Highest setting! Activate!
"Prepare to die!"
"Nngh, nnngh, aaahhh, ooooohhhhhh!!!"
The next moment, a chorus of soul-stirring moans, breathless laughter, and hysterical screams echoed through the sky.
"Gah! Gah!"
Numerous seagulls and seabirds perched on the Hyperion took flight in alarm, their white wings tracing beautiful arcs in the air.
Prometheus, watching from the side, pouted. As if Raiden Mei needs this Paramecium to corrupt her, she thought. She's the one who's always sneaking around in the middle of the night, touching you, Host. She's done basically everything except the one thing she shouldn't.
Bronya, meanwhile, commented that using a fascia scraper directly was very painful. Her brother should wait until idiot Kiana had finished exercising before scraping the soles of her feet, as it wouldn't hurt then.
You see your fair share of living Bodhisattvas, but this was the first time they'd seen a living King of Hell.
...