"The reason I thought about dying was..."
After leaving the Hyperion, Ms. Sadako hummed a tune as she skillfully made her way to the Tiangong Space Station.
She delivered supplies and approved care packages from their families to the astronauts stationed there, then popped over to the neighboring module to check on the two unlucky souls stranded in space. Only then did she leisurely return to her cozy little home in the missile silo.
The moment she got back, a handsome voice called out from nearby.
"Thank you for your hard work, Ms. Yamamura."
"It's a small price to pay for good food and a place to stay. Besides helping you folks at the Taixu Frontline with a little intel gathering, I mean, I get it," Ms. Sadako said, turning around. She quickly covered her eyes with her hands. "Ah! Too bright! Way too bright, little Yanqing! Any closer and I'll melt and explode!"
The man who approached was tall, with two sharp swords hanging at his waist. He wore a blue and white combat uniform that blended ancient Shenzhou style with modern fashion, its long sleeves fluttering. His light-yellow hair was tied in a waist-length ponytail, and a sword-shaped mark on his forehead enhanced his handsome, jade-like features. But even more striking than his appearance was his aura—like a pure lotus, to be admired from a distance, never defiled.
He was practically the poster boy for the word "handsome." The young man, who looked to be in his late twenties, gave a wry smile. "Ms. Yamamura, if you tell the same joke too many times, even I will start to find it troublesome."
Without waiting for a response, his expression turned serious. "The Hyperion—or rather, Mr. Fuli, who is deeply connected to the Third Honkai Eruption and has been repeatedly mentioned by the Schicksal Senate recently. In your brief contact, what was your impression of him?"
"Not bad at all!"
Seeing Yanqing's serious demeanor, Ms. Sadako dropped her playful tone.
"His cunning and personality are top-notch. The key is that he knows how to play dumb, how to leave things unsaid. On that point alone, he's far more composed than our little 'Invincible Swordsman 123' was in his youth."
Kallen may have been out shopping for equipment with Mei, but that didn't mean the Hyperion's firewall was open to just any riffraff.
Bronya had clearly realized this, which was why her attitude was so sharp at first, even to the point of intending to detain Ms. Sadako.
It was Fuli who had silently played the peacemaker, bringing the atmosphere back to a light and cheerful one with just a few words.
After all, our boy Fuli was a reincarnator who had wandered the Honkai-verse for a long time. Did they really think he would be completely ignorant of ghosts and cryptids?
Often, a seemingly calm reaction is the true mark of wisdom.
"Of course, his social skills are quite good, but his talent is another matter entirely," Ms. Sadako said, giving Yanqing a mischievous wink. "And in that regard, who could possibly compare to the Taixu Frontline's own sword prodigy, the genius seen once in decades, the current head of the Seven Swords of Taixu, our little Yanqing?"
"Haha..." Yanqing chuckled wryly. Everyone was young once.
After a bit more teasing, the handsome young man, having gathered enough information on the Hyperion, stood up. He politely bid farewell and left Ms. Sadako's missile silo.
Several fully-armed soldiers were standing guard at the entrance. The moment he stepped out, they snapped to attention and saluted.
"Sword Champion!"
"Thank you for your hard work, everyone."
Yanqing nodded, his hand on his sword as he walked past, his smile as clear and refreshing as a spring breeze.
He walked down the brightly lit corridor, his white boots making no sound on the floor, as silent as a cat.
A pleasant voice suddenly chimed in. "You're still so on guard even in your own home. Yanqing, if you keep this up, you're going to give yourself a nervous breakdown!"
With a soft thump, a slender figure dropped from the ceiling.
She was a woman in her twenties, dressed in a long, gray-green robe. She was stunningly beautiful, with a gourd of longevity hanging at her waist and her hair styled in a flowing cloud-like fashion. Her features were delicate, her figure curvaceous.
Her upper body was particularly impressive, standing tall like mountain peaks. Her long, white hair, tinged with purple, cascaded down like a waterfall, each strand shimmering under the moonlight.
But more eye-catching than all of this were the majestic dragon horns on her forehead and the long, scaled, imposing dragon tail behind her.
"My apologies, Lady Bailu."
Yanqing apologized instinctively, and sure enough, he saw a look of utter helplessness on her lively, nation-toppling face.
"If you had just said, 'Whoa! You scared me!' I would have been happier," the dragon girl he called Bailu grumbled, following along with her hands on her head. "Are you off to report to the General about the Hyperion now?"
"The General..." Yanqing's mind drifted for a moment at the word, but he quickly snapped back to the present. "Yes. This is, after all, a mission assigned by Marshal Fu Ta—General Fu Xuan."
"Can't you just have Qingque run the numbers? That lazy bum wouldn't shirk her actual duties, would she?"
"Diviner Qingque is leading the other diviners, working day and night to unravel the details of the Third Honkai Eruption in Nagazora City. She doesn't have time for such trivial matters at the moment."
Honkai energy had a strange preemptive quality. If someone made the first move to cover up or interfere with the specifics of an event, those who came after would have to expend a massive amount of Honkai energy to counteract the initial influence.
It was like a masterpiece oil painting. To ruin it, you just needed to splash a basin of ink on it. To save it, you would have to spend a thousand times the effort to restore it to its original state.
At the mention of the Third Honkai Eruption, the precious sword at Yanqing's waist trembled, and his eyes grew cold. "To pull something like this right under the nose of the Taixu Frontline... if we don't return the favor, some people might think our swords have grown dull!"
"Indeed, indeed. We're one of the few super-factions, after all. If we don't make our presence known, people might really start treating us like a pushover," Bailu agreed, nodding. Her tone and tail both changed direction. "Speaking of which, I heard the Luminary Wardance Ceremony is being held early?"
"General Fu Xuan is considering it as a warning to the troublemakers. Requesting Ms. Sadako to gather intel on the Hyperion was part of the preparations. We'll need the Alchemy Commission and Yunli's side to help with the prize money..."
The two of them walked further away, their conversation gradually fading.
...
The early morning fog enveloped the entire St. Freya artificial island, draping the land in a mysterious veil. The streetlights on either side of the road cast a faint glow, flickering in and out of sight in the mist, like starlight.
"We're heading out! Take care of the place for us!"
After bidding farewell to her respectful and beautiful adjutant, Theresa cheerfully boarded her private aircraft, ready to head to the Hyperion for Mei's birthday party.
Himeko, in the pilot's seat, partially removed her sunglasses. Her fiery red hair, flowing like flames, shimmered in the light refracted by the mist, making her face look even more mature, bewitching, and alluring.
Until she opened her mouth and started nagging, "Hurry up, hurry up! We're the guests this time. It would be so rude to be late!"
"If we're late, it'll be your fault! Heave-ho!" Theresa clambered into the back seat and shouted in protest. "If we had listened to this principal, we would have already reached the sea where the Hyperion is!"
"Listen to you and take the newly repaired Helios?" Himeko resisted the urge to turn around and smack the little thing on the head. "Who goes to someone's house as a guest with a hundred and eighty people in tow? You think we have a Raiden Mei who can single-handedly manage a skyfaring battleship in perfect order?"
Clearly, the two invitees were on their way to Mei's birthday party.
"Ngh! Don't say it!"
The moment Himeko brought it up, Theresa clutched her small, soft chest. "I'm starting to regret more and more that I didn't force the four of them to stay back in Nagazora City."
"And I'll say it again: in an environment as relaxed as St. Freya, with the three of us shouldering the burden, those kids might not have been pushed to reach their full potential."
The transparent canopy above them slowly closed. The aircraft's underside jets of plasma, providing thrust.
After waving to her adjutant below and shooting a disappointed glare at Asakura Miyuki, who was hiding in the bushes, refusing to come out, Himeko pulled back on the control stick and sped off to the southeast.
In the back, Theresa looked around and suddenly realized something. "Why is it just the two of us? Where's... that person?"
"She said she has her own way of getting to the Hyperion and told us not to worry about her," Himeko replied lazily. "If it were anyone else, I would have thought she was joking."
"Then let's not worry about her."
Recalling the glorious deeds of that little lady in the nearly two months since she had joined St. Freya, Theresa turned and rummaged around, pulling out a thin blanket to wrap herself in. "Gonna take a nap. Don't do any crazy maneuvers."
"It's going to take a while to get there. You're really going to make me fly all by myself?"
"My short arms and legs can't even reach the control stick and pedals. You might as well just fly straight into the Pacific." Theresa put on an eye mask and lay down contentedly. "Besides, isn't there an autopilot? Just ask it nicely. If that doesn't work, just hover outside the atmosphere and wait for the Earth to rotate into position before landing!"
Before long, she was sound asleep.
Her little mouth would smack from time to time, making a delicious sound, making you want to stuff something in it.
"Honestly, this lazybones."
Himeko slapped her forehead. The waters around the Hyperion were currently teeming with schools of White Devourer Whales. She didn't dare entrust the controls entirely to the autopilot.
Fortunately, the journey was uneventful. The White Devourer Whales were well-behaved and didn't give her an opportunity to wipe them out.
"Sometimes, it feels like going back to the Hyperion is like going home..."
Having reached her destination, Himeko fell silent for a moment, hovering the aircraft in place. She reached back and patted Theresa.
The little principal rubbed her half-closed eyes, her words slurred. "Ngh... are we 'ere?"
"I have good news and bad news."
"Give me the bad news first."
"The Hyperion is not on the radar."
"Then what's the good news?"
"We can see it with our own eyes from here."
"Oh... huh?" Theresa was instantly awake. "You're not kidding me?!"
"See for yourself."
The girl pressed her cheek against the glass and looked out. Between the clear blue sky and the sea, the long, slender hull of the battleship gleamed silver, exuding an imposing presence.
"No way," she said, her tone incredulous. "How long has it been?"
As the exclusive transport of the Far East Branch director, Theresa's aircraft was equipped with an advanced radar system.
Even if it couldn't match a skyfaring battleship's in terms of size and power, it was definitely top-of-the-line for its class.
And its detection result was "Hyperion does not exist"?
"The good news is that this thing we're in is an old model from six years ago. There's a two- to three-generation technology gap between it and Schicksal's newest aircraft," Himeko advised. "Next time you do business with the Hyperion, don't haggle so hard on the price. Otherwise, when they get bigger, they might settle old scores and new, and hang you, the heartless capitalist, from a lamppost and spank you."
As she spoke, she maneuvered the aircraft to land on the Hyperion's deck.
The moment she opened the canopy, she saw Mei, wearing a hard hat and holding a laptop, standing not far away. Perhaps it was the combination of sunlight and steel reflecting off it, but the hard hat seemed to have a faint, emerald-green glow.
A silver-and-white beauty's phantom floated beside Mei, discussing how to handle the equipment and items piled in the corner.
"We're here."
Himeko nudged Theresa and, without waiting for a response, jumped out of the aircraft and strode over, raising a hand in greeting.
"Yo, sorting supplies?" she asked, looking at the floating Kallen. "And who's this?"
"Kallen Kaslana, the Hyperion's new AI~"
"She's a nun, and an assistant."
"It's one thing for you to call me that in private, Mei, but don't mess around when you're introducing me to others!" the Holy Maiden, who went by many names including Second Sister, Angela, and Christina, said, dissatisfied.
—Kallen? Kaslana?
Hearing the name that held such a special meaning in Schicksal, Himeko raised an eyebrow.
She didn't say anything more, though. "I brought some birthday gifts too. Where can we unload them?"
"Hey! Himeko!" Theresa, who had finally arrived, shouted. "If you do that, won't you be giving away the fact that Kiana and the others are throwing a secret birthday party for Mei?"
She was met with three pairs of eyes that looked at her as if she were an idiot. As if to say, 'You really think those three, in a place as small as the Hyperion, could keep a secret from anyone, let alone her?'
Th-they could keep it from me...
But the proud Ms. Theresa would never say such a thing out loud.
She crossed her (small) arms over her chest and nodded sagely. "Seeing how tense the atmosphere was, this principal decided to crack a joke to lighten the mood."
Kallen stroked her chin. So this is the precious granddaughter Otto made from Kallen and Vishnu's genes in the real world? she thought. She looks just like 'me' when I was a kid. Cute, but with no brains. A pity she's got that extra dose of silliness.
Mei, reading her thoughts via electromagnetic perception, glanced at the amused Kallen and thought to herself, That silliness is a perfect one-to-one replica.
"I'm sorry to have troubled you," said Mei, ever the well-mannered lady from a good family. "You can just unload the things in Area A23."
"Got it."
To ease the slight embarrassment from before, Theresa took the lead and ran to the aircraft's cargo bay.
When Himeko opened the hatch, she popped her head out and lifted a giant, human-sized cardboard box.
The box was wrapped with a red ribbon and topped with an exquisite pink bow.
Seeing the mysterious object, Himeko blinked. "You prepared this?"
"Nope." Theresa, holding the box, shook her head. "The principal's gift isn't this big."
"It's not mine either." Himeko stopped and walked over. "Miyuki and Yuno?"
"Asakura Miyuki? Amano Yuno?"
Mei knew those two. They had all been at Senba Academy together.
But they were by no means close, certainly not close enough to exchange birthday gifts.
But then again, Senba Academy could be considered the Shilan High School of the Honkai series. Not only did it produce two of the main trio and the Herrscher of Poison, Yuno, but it was also the breeding ground for numerous male protagonists from Honkai fanfiction. A very high output rate.
Theresa scratched her head. "Then why don't we open it and see?"
An unidentified object on her private plane... she had to check it out.
What if there was a bomb inside? The Hyperion couldn't repeat the fate of the Twin Towers!
"Hey! Judah!"
The launch rack summoned its main body.
Seeing it, Kallen held her chin in nostalgia. "My, my. Should I say it's nice to meet you, or long time no see?"
Judah, as if sensing something, didn't immediately nuzzle up to Theresa as usual. Instead, it eagerly extended its chains and buzzed around Kallen's phantom.
Seeing this, Himeko suddenly remembered a bad joke: What's the use of a cross?
Answer: It wakes you up.
Theresa, whose reaction time was half a beat slow, finally realized that the name of the woman before her seemed a bit off.
She looked at Kallen suspiciously, her little mouth opening as if to say something.
"Don't forget the main event," Kallen said with a wave of her hand. "There'll be plenty of time to tell you about me and my little brother later."
"Fine."
Theresa didn't ask any more questions. Instead, she used the obsidian spear at the end of Judah's chain to pry open the ribbon.
Himeko looked at Mei, the theoretical recipient of the gift. The girl was about to nod her assent when she noticed the recipient's name on the box was actually Fuli.
A human-sized box, about the weight of an adult, for a teenage boy... could it be a sex doll...?
Mei's face instantly darkened. So he'd rather play with that than the real-life Far East beauty right in front of him?
Considering she had to maintain her boyfriend's image in front of outsiders, she was about to tell them to stop.
"Wait—"
Too late.
"Hiya!"
With Theresa's violent deconstruction, the contents of the box were revealed.
"Hello, little Li! It's been a month! ♪~"
The contents of the box leaped out and opened their arms to Mei, the tallest among them. "Miss Pink Elf has missed you so much, little Li! Let's have a long-awaited reunion kiss! Mwah!"
She was a peculiar girl with fluffy pink hair and pink-and-blue eyes. Her face was elegant and delicate, her lips slightly upturned in a smiling gaze. She looked like a young lady from an ancient noble family, but a closer look at her eyes revealed a playful mischief.
And at the same time, facing this pink piggy who was lunging at her in nothing but a see-through silk nightgown...
Hearing her first words were about kissing Fuli, the gritting-her-teeth Mei instinctively clenched her fist.
A flash of lightning—
"Thunderflash Fist!"
POW!
She punched her right in the eye.
...
On the Hyperion's bridge, Fuli sat on the sofa.
"So, you're saying that because you were so excited about seeing me, you couldn't sleep a wink last night, and that's why you have a huge dark circle under your eye today?" he asked, pointing at Elysia's left black eye, suspicious. "Then why is it only on one side?"
"Because I saw Mei!" Elysia said earnestly. "Under the glow of her beauty, the dark circle on my right side just 'poof' and disappeared!"
"Isn't that right, my cute little Mei? ♪~"
She cheerfully swung her legs, her shapely, jade-like feet bare and peeking out from under her dress, looking absolutely delicious.
"Right, right..." Mei quickly agreed.
"Oh." Fuli nodded, then asked, "Then why is Mei dressed in a seductive fallen angel maid outfit, standing respectfully by your side, serving you tea and obeying your every command?"
It's definitely not because I mistook my great-aunt for some bitch trying to steal my man, and after a verbal and physical assault, I realized my mistake thanks to Theresa and the others' explanations, and now I have to dress like this so Elysia doesn't badmouth me in front of you.
Mei, in her maid outfit, forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
This was what you called failing before you even started—offending an elder right off the bat.
"Oh." Fuli asked again, "Then—"
"Oh, stop asking so many questions," Elysia cleverly interrupted. "Men who ask too many questions aren't popular with girls, you know!"
"Is that so?" Fuli was shocked, a look of sorrow on his face. "I've always been worried about my unparalleled masculine charm. If I had known there was such a method earlier, I wouldn't have deceived so many pure-hearted young maidens."
"Hiss!"
Bronya sucked in a sharp breath.
With that level of shamelessness, it was no wonder those two were family.
A match made in heaven!
"Huh? Elysia is Fuli's great-aunt?"
This was the white-haired fluffball finally putting the pieces together.
"That's right!"
The Pink Elf, in front of everyone, pulled Fuli's head onto her lap, her slender fingers playing with his hair. "Guaranteed authentic! ♪~"
"There are so many people here, you... ngh~"
The boy tried to struggle at first but was quickly reduced to a curled-up shrimp under his great-aunt's skilled ear-cleaning assault.
[T/N: Fuli's name (浮黎 Fú Lí) is a pun. "Lí" sounds like "líng" (零), which means "zero." In otaku/BL culture, "0" represents the submissive partner (uke). The text jokes that a "Floating Zero" like him stands no chance against a "super top" like Elysia.]
"Tsk!"
If anyone else had dared to do that to Fuli, Mei would have made sure they never saw the next day's sun.
It was the ultimate level of taunt, like blasting the most obnoxiously cheerful pop song at a funeral.
But this was his great-aunt, officially recorded in the family registry. Even if the handsome boy and beautiful woman looked like a perfect couple, Mei could only force a smile as friendly as a hydrogen bomb and swallow her frustrations.
And Elysia—
'Ooh! That's the expression! That expression is just too much fun! This girl named Mei is way more fun to tease than little Miyuki, little Houraiji, or little Yuno!'
It seemed that even for an alternate-timeline counterpart, the joy of teasing Mei was etched into her very DNA.
"I never imagined little Li's living situation would be so wonderful~"
Elysia said, gently rubbing Fuli's earlobe as she surveyed the beautiful girls around them.
Suddenly, she balled a fist, her eyebrows shooting up as she lectured loudly, "In such a wonderful environment, if you can't control yourself and make a mistake, little Li, you must take full responsibility for everyone! If it's too much, your great-auntie can help raise them!"
Kids! They must be so much fun to raise~
"You've barely sat down and you're already nagging me about getting married. Are you secretly a forty-something-year-old auntie on the inside?" Fuli grumbled from his comfortable position on her black-stockinged lap. He shot a disappointed glare at the others, as if scolding them for being so tough with him on a daily basis, only to cower in fear the moment Elysia arrived.
Go on, fight her!
She's just a great-aunt! You can take her, easy!
Under the pressure of his gaze, Bronya shot to her feet.
"The Bronya has daily quests to do."
The little girl turned and trotted back to her room.
"Aren't we having Mei's birthday party? I can't wait any longer, let's get it started!"
Theresa piped up.
But as for what she said...
"Auntie!" Kiana-cat scolded. "We were planning a surprise for Mei!"
"Hah, only a brain like yours would think Mei, who lives with you day in and day out, wouldn't know about this."
Theresa naturally threw the same words the trio had used to scorn her right back. A moment later, she saw Fuli also staring blankly.
—So it wasn't just this principal, and this principal's blockheaded grandniece who thought that.
The girl thought blankly, her affection for Fuli strangely increasing by a tiny bit.
Misery loves company.
Seeing the world-is-ending expression on Fuli's face, Mei's heart softened with pity.
She cleared her throat and said with a straight face, "I genuinely didn't know you had prepared a lunar birthday celebration for me. Fuli, Kiana, thank you for remembering."
"Yay!"
"See! I told you so!"
"Hehe."
Watching Fuli and Kiana high-five, the girl pursed her lips and smiled softly.
The "White Rabbit candies" under her fallen angel maid outfit trembled slightly, a very eye-catching sight.
"Hmph."
The harmonious scene made Himeko's lips curl into a smile, but then she noticed Theresa glaring at her, practically breathing fire.
Her thoughts raced, and a series of "holy craps" went off in her head.
'Dude, Mei was obviously just saying that to humor those two kids. You didn't actually think she didn't know, did you?'
Seeing the little pipsqueak was starting to grind her teeth and stomp her foot, Himeko quickly changed the subject. "So where are we celebrating Mei's birthday? On the Hyperion's deck?"
"Nope."
Kallen appeared out of nowhere and pulled up a map. "There's a small island three kilometers east of the Hyperion's current position with no signs of human activity. My little brother and the others plan to celebrate Mei's birthday there and have a fun day out."
"That sounds wonderful, doesn't it? ♪~" Elysia clapped her hands, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "The ocean, a party, swimsuits, the beach, surfing, volleyball, smashing a watermelon, and a bonfire party... Wow! Miss Pink Elf is already imagining so many beautiful and romantic scenes!"
...