Mei, whose suppository-style enhancement potions had been returned by Fuli and Bronya, wasn't annoyed. Instead, she calmly explained that it was just the shape, and they could still be taken orally during battle.
She was promptly shot down by the trio with disgusted looks on their faces. This time, even Kiana couldn't hold it in.
All one could say was that the stereotype of geniuses being a little touched in the head was truly not an exaggeration.
The finished product couldn't be reworked, and it looked like this batch of suppositories was destined for the scrap heap. But Kiana, with a glint in her eye, had an idea. She contacted Theresa and sold them all to St. Freya at a 20% discount.
The Principal patted her (flat) chest and said she'd take them all. She didn't mind the shape of the enhancement potions at all; after all, her subordinates would be using them, not her.
As for whether those Valkyries would use them... well, not everyone was as blessed as the Hyperion crew.
Even though St. Freya's benefits were top-notch in Schicksal, who would complain about having too many life-saving measures?
And so, Mei had inexplicably achieved a particularly insane achievement: 「Deflowering all of St. Freya's Valkyries」.
Compared to Shigure Kira's purely fabricated "Siegfried has touched the butts of all the Valkyries in Schicksal," this one was the real deal, no deception involved.
What a terrifying woman, Raiden Mei.
'I wonder if Theresa will sell some on the side. If she does...'
Fuli shivered, suddenly recalling a rumor that Yunli had told him when they were avenging Yanqing in the previous cycle:
「Yunli, according to the history I've read, spells like curses used to be just looked down upon, not as universally condemned as they are now.」
「That's a long story, starting with a certain master. That master was a pioneer in our world of limited imagination, creating a whole new style of fighting.」
「What did he do specifically?」
「That master, by manipulating flesh curses, made taste buds grow in his enemy's large intestine.」
As for why they were talking about curses, it was because of the culprit who had killed Yanqing in the previous cycle, the target they were pursuing: the Divine Authority, the Emperors of Chaos.
"Ah, got a bite!"
The fishing rod in his hand trembled, and Fuli's scattered gaze instantly focused.
He put on a show of struggling for a bit before pulling it up, revealing a five-centimeter-long minnow.
"Tch!"
The fishermen gathered around the boy dispersed with a mix of disdain and relief, perfectly demonstrating the sentiment of "fearing your brother's suffering, but also fearing he'll drive a Land Rover."
If little Li had actually caught a big one, they would have lost face.
"Filthy! Your minds are too filthy! As the saying goes, one begets two, two begets three, and three begets all things. Since the first one is a success, everything will get better from now on!" Fuli grumbled as he skillfully deboned the fish and fed it to the eagerly waiting orange cat.
It gobbled it down in one bite, then rubbed its fluffy head against the boy's leg, enticing him to pick it up and cuddle it for a good while before putting it down.
"Get better? Hard to say."
A white-haired old man next to him chuckled, a toothpick dangling from his lips with a roguish air.
He flicked his rod, and a large fish with scales shimmering in the sunlight soared into the air, landing precisely in the bucket Fuli had brought.
"Consider it a gift from me. Don't let your little gas tank go hungry."
"Meow!" The big orange cat was not happy to hear that. Who's fat? Who's fat? My figure is very slim for an orange cat, okay? Just the other day, several local female cats came to me for... mating!
"It's people who shouldn't eat handouts. Cats don't have to worry about that," Fuli said as he once again skillfully deboned the fish and fed the cat, his voice full of praise. "Thank you, Uncle Lu, for the big white fish! I wish you good fortune as vast as the Eastern Sea and a long life, to celebrate your golden anniversary hand in hand, and to sing the songs of your years together with white hair!"
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me big bro! I'm only ten years older than you!"
He had completely broken the man's composure.
The regular fishermen here all knew that this "Uncle Lu" was twenty-six years old.
The reason for his premature white hair was his profession—a mangaka.
Seeing this, some of you may be wondering: drawing manga, is it really that exhausting?
Yes, it is.
Before Brother Lu went legit, he drew standard hentai manga, and he was a well-known artist on a certain pixiv-like site, the kind that Fuli (and Anna, whom he had corrupted) were very familiar with.
It was said that when the news of him going legit broke, many people went to the comments section to lament:
We all agreed to form a group for life... to draw hentai for life, why did you have to go legit? In the end, you've just revealed your true colors as a pretentious literary youth! You think that legitimate manga is better than hentai, don't you? You traitor!
My kidneys are weak.
If it weren't for the fact that I have to make a living, who would—huh? It's kidney deficiency? Oh, never mind then.
Just as Fuli finished feeding the now lazy orange cat, with a splash, another silver-gray taimen was pulled out of the water by the person next to him after a long struggle.
Everyone immediately gathered around, and the kidney-deficient Brother Lu patted his shoulder excitedly. "Nice one, Old Wang! This taimen must be a meter long!"
"The record here in Xinjiang is only 1.3 meters, I think. They have ones over two meters in Russia," Fuli, who had joined the crowd, quickly took out a measuring tape. "Quick, let's measure it and see if we've broken the local record!"
"I suggest you release it after measuring. It's a sin to kill such a big fish," another middle-aged man who had come over deliberately put on a grim face. "Of course, it's mainly because I'm jealous."
It is a well-known fact that large fish emit a kind of miasma. People who catch them will have their cerebral cortex paralyzed after smelling it, causing their sense of direction to become confused. They will usually get lost and their language function will also be affected, only being able to repeat simple phrases like "just caught it, dozens of pounds" to everyone they meet. The symptoms usually last for about a day.
In addition, there is a side effect. Every time a festival or a new year passes, the fish in their memory will grow a few pounds. Over the years, it will grow from 20 pounds to 30 pounds, from 30 pounds to 50 pounds, and finally, in their dying memories, it will be over a hundred pounds. Truly terrifying.
"How about we take a group photo?" someone suggested. "We can post it on our Moments and bask in Old Wang's glory."
Doing so could effectively prevent the side effects from recurring. As everyone knows, photos can't be photoshopped, so they must be real.
"Forget about posting on Moments," another person said with a shudder. "The last time I posted after fishing, my Buddhist mother-in-law gave me a lecture. She insisted that I release the fish into the sea."
Fuli was shocked. "Isn't this a freshwater fish? Release it into the sea? Isn't that killing it?"
"That's what I said. Guess what the old lady said?" he mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "'No way? Fish are fish, whether they're in a pot or not, what's the difference between salt and fresh?'"
"Hahahahaha!!!" Everyone burst into laughter. This was one of the few joys of these middle-aged men.
"Come on, everyone, stand straight!"
During this time, Fuli pretended to operate a holographic smart live-streaming camera drone. When everyone was lined up, he caught a glimpse of Old Wang, who should have been the most excited, shrinking in a corner without a word.
It wasn't just him; others had noticed it too.
The mangaka teased, "What's wrong? Can't bear to let your big baby have a free appearance?"
"No."
Old Wang, with a world-weary face, sat on a simple stool made of stones, a cheap cigarette with a quarter left held between his yellowed fingers. "I'm planning to get a divorce."
「You're planning to get a divorce now?」
「You've already cheated. Is it too much for me to ask for a divorce?」
「Just because I had sex with a man you don't know?」
「What do you mean? You think it's okay?」
「Our twelve years of relationship can't even compare to a single physical impulse with a stranger? You'd rather just cut ties like this and let our daughter lose her father or mother than give a woman who's been with you for twelve years a chance? Isn't that ridiculous?」
Remembering the argument they had before he left, the man closed his eyes, his voice devoid of emotion. "My wife cheated on me."
It was as if an angel had flown across the sky. The fishing spot fell silent for a moment.
Everyone looked at each other, their mouths open, not knowing what to say.
Noticing that his words had caused the atmosphere to freeze, Old Wang took a long drag on his cigarette, clapped his hands, and smiled. "Weren't we going to take a photo? Come on, we have to put the fish back in the lake after we're done. Old Yu is right. If this baby really ends up in my hands, it'll hurt people, if not the heavens!"
Someone muttered, "As long as it doesn't hurt the Republic."
"Screw you!" Old Wang kicked at him, then turned and put Fuli in a headlock. "I haven't asked before, little Li, do you have a girlfriend? If not, I'll introduce you to my daughter."
The boy was shocked. "No, no, no! Your daughter is only eight! I don't want to go to jail so early!"
"So you have a girlfriend?"
"Of course he does!" the prematurely white-haired mangaka said with a look of envy and jealousy. "You haven't seen the three who are staying at the hotel with this kid. There's a pure Nordic young lady with white hair and blue eyes, a three-no-attribute Slavic loli with twin-tails, and his cool and handsome cousin—hey, I just got an idea for the next villain in my manga."
"Why do I have to be the villain?" Fuli pointed at his face and protested. "This is clearly the face of a sunny and cheerful protagonist! I've even thought of a title for your manga, just call it "What Happened to the Third Apocalypse?!!""
"Forget it, that name sounds like a flop," the white-haired man waved his hand. "Besides, who likes sunny and cheerful orthodox protagonists these days? Tragic backstory, exceptional talent, resolute personality, complex network of relationships, and abundant romantic luck. Except for the last one, which of the previous ones do you have?"
I'm a reincarnator! And I have a system! The kind that gives you an AI wife! The boy grumbled as he stroked the cat's tail.
"Gives you an AI wife." On the moon, Dr. MEI had a mischievous smile.
"Someone shouldn't forget that her current identity is also System AI Unit-02."
Prometheus looked calm, but a blush had quietly crept onto her usually expressionless face.
"But to be honest, I'd also like to buy a tombstone for my wife," Old Yu, who had suggested releasing the big fish, gritted his teeth as he recalled the shrew at home. "Of course, she's still alive."
"Although your wife may not be able to open a can her entire life, she'll definitely be able to open your skull after hearing that."
"Hey, don't say that, Old Zhao!" the mangaka interjected. "My wife used to be really fierce with me. Then I made her learn karate and kendo."
"Huh? So did she beat you up even worse, or did she start to show you some martial virtue?"
"Both. Now, before she hits me, she bows to me first and says, 'Hontōni sumimasen!'"
More than a dozen old men gathered together, talking about everything under the sun, and the atmosphere quickly became lively again.
Someone took out a grill and seasonings from his car and started a barbecue on the spot. Another took out some draft beer from a car fridge and distributed it. They even thoughtfully got Fuli, the only minor, a few bottles of an energy drink.
They ate barbecue and sang songs, sitting cross-legged by the river, drinking heartily. Slowly, the topic shifted from high-brow things like international affairs and stocks and gold to the mundane necessities of life.
After talking for a while, the atmosphere froze again.
Yes, at their age, they had to please their elders, be role models for their children, and cater to their bosses' whims. They were constantly struggling for a living, for face, for a house, a car, and money. Even the things they used to love were gradually worn down by the world's indifference.
Middle age is an age of forced smiles. A middle-aged man is worse off than a dog.
You save money for decades, and it's only enough to buy a house.
You save money for decades, and it's only enough for one surgery.
Life is so hard! It's so hard to live with dignity through labor!
How does an ordinary person live their life?
Enlightened parents, no domestic violence;
Completed nine years of compulsory education, never been bullied at school, no natural disasters or car accidents;
Never been scammed out of all their property by a fraud ring, never been sexually assaulted or robbed;
Never been so poor that they can't pay rent, never suffered from a serious illness;
Happened to live in a city, knows how to use a smartphone, plays games and watches dramas in their spare time;
Never done anything bad in their life, and if possible, happens to have someone they love enough;
This is clearly the life of a minority, yet people call them ordinary.
"It shouldn't be like this..." someone muttered.
Yes, the world shouldn't be like this.
There shouldn't be any sky-high priced earrings, there shouldn't be any 4+4 medical doctorates, and there shouldn't be any conflict or opposition between men and women.
A silent atmosphere gradually spread. Suddenly, someone in the crowd shouted, "Are kings and nobles born to be so?!"
The voice traveled far and wide, so far that the men, their nerves numbed by alcohol, didn't react at first.
But soon, shouts of agreement followed.
"Are kings and nobles born to be so?!"
"The blue sky is dead, the yellow sky shall rise! In the year of Jiazi, the world will be blessed with great fortune!"
"Do not say that the stone man has only one eye, dare to laugh at Huang Chao for not being a man!"
"Clouds follow the dragon, wind follows the tiger, for the people, not for the master!"
"Eh? Isn't it 'Dragon and tiger heroes rule the world'?"
"You've been watching the new Three Kingdoms too much! Eat something better, brother!"
"Who cares! I know how to use a vise and CNC machines!"
"I have some knowledge of electrical engineering."
"I'm not that capable, I just have some assets at home!"
Everyone exchanged a look and subconsciously focused on Old Wang.
The man cleared his throat and, as expected, said, "I have an idea..."
The next day, Fuli was picked up from the local police station by a helpless Fu Hua. The charge—well, it was public indecency.
"A group of old men engaging in public indecency? Do you think this is the Kingdom of Yaoi next door!" The accused was furious. You could have just said public disturbance!
As for why the arrest was so swift, hilarious. With so many old men gathering together all the time, how could they not plant a few spies among you?