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CHAPTER 72
Julius 1789
Shiseo was dead.
His return had hung over Helena like a raised sword, so long a fore-
gone conclusion. He would return and she would go. That fact had felt
immutable. Now, he was dead.
Kaine was shaking his head slowly, as if he could scarcely believe it
himself.
"Is it confirmed?"
"They sent his head. Novis is claiming they had no direct part in it,
that it's a surviving faction of the Eternal Flame, but—there isn't one.
Not with those kinds of abilities. This was an experimental salvo. The
queen is calculating, and she wants to see if the allying countries will
distance themselves if pressured to choose a side, and whether New
Paladia has any recourse." He lowered his head, and the air warped with
his resonance, but then he laughed. "The irony is, this is what we orches-
trated, this was our plan, except they weren't supposed to do it until I
was gone."
He threw his helmet against the wall. "Now they've given Morrough
warning and time to assemble forces and recall the necrothralls from
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the mines, and I am still here and I can't refuse orders. Fuck!"
So they were all going to die then. Kaine was going to die, she would
die, their daughter would die. Spirefell was a cage and a tomb.
She reached out to him, her fingers almost numb. "It's all right,
Kaine. You did everything you could."
I'd rather die in your arms.
His eyebrows knit together for a moment. "You're still leaving."
Helena stared at him, not understanding. The escape plan had hinged
on Shiseo.
He pulled off his gloves. "There are other ways, they're just . . . not as
clean. There's more risk of being tracked down if they move quickly to
pursue, which is likely to happen. Morrough will do anything to recover
you. If you can reach the coast in time, you'll disappear into the islands
long before they can catch up. But— you'll have to get to Lila alone.
Unless you think you're strong enough to take Amaris by yourself."
"How— alone?"
Even before, during the war when she'd been stronger, not prone to
fits of panic, flying on Amaris was something she'd endured only out of
necessity. The height and speed had always terrified her, and Amaris
had known where to go, requiring no guidance from Helena.
Flying at night as Lumithia's crescent shrank out of sight was almost
unimaginable. It would be black as pitch, the world an abyss beneath
her. Her head felt light just thinking about it.
"I'll take you as far as I can, and there will be a ship downriver that
will sail to the coast. I'll show you maps and the route you'll take inland
to find Lila. I can arrange transportation, but it would be safest if you
travelled at least part of the way on foot, if you think you'd be able to
manage the distance. Just before the Abeyance, you'll go to the ports;
there is passage booked and false identification papers waiting. You'll
take a ship to Etras. I've arranged a place there."
Her heart stuttered, tripping over itself as she tried to think.
"You don't have to decide now," Kaine said, his thumb running along
her jaw. "I'll arrange for both, and you can choose. I know it'll be hard,
but it will be worth it. Lila's been waiting for you a long time."
She nodded shakily.
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Everything had to move fast. The Abeyance wouldn't wait, and if
there was a war about to break out between Paladia and the surrounding
countries, Kaine did not want her there for it.
After all the years spent hoping that Novis or any of their neigh-
bours might intervene on their behalf, they now acted in the worst pos-
sible moment.
"I have to go," he said after a moment. "I'll come see you when I can.
Try to eat and rest as much as you can. Keep the doors barred. Fortu-
nately, with Aurelia gone, the door is more secure. Crowther had no
iron resonance to speak off, despite my father's efforts to plumb some
from the decrepit depths of his corpse. As long as the door's locked, he
can't open it."
He was rambling, because he was nervous; things were slipping out
of his control. All his carefully laid plans destroyed by the intervention
the Resistance had been annihilated waiting for.
She barely saw Kaine after that. For days, he was gone; she didn't
think he slept at all. She tried to do her part, to eat and perform calis-
thenic exercises inside her room to build up stamina and get a little
stronger so that preparations were not so limited by her.
Atreus returned to Spirefell, apparently no worse off for having mur-
dered Aurelia, assuming it had become known. He seemed to have run
out of prisoners; instead he prowled around the house. She heard his
footsteps in the hallway outside her door and spotted him entering and
leaving the chantry several times.
When the windows rattled from the wind of Amaris's wings, she
knew Kaine had returned at least briefly. He was busy with more than
merely preparations for her escape. He was the High Reeve; he'd be
expected to coordinate the response to the attack.
She was surprised when only a few minutes later, the door opened
and he walked in.
His eyes were so bright, they seemed to actually glow. He was the
furthest from human he had ever appeared. He walked towards her as if
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932 • SenLinYu
he sensed but did not actually see her.
"Kaine?" she said, her heart in her throat.
He didn't respond. The wrongness of whatever had happened to him
was visceral. Cold swept through her. The instinct to run frayed her
every nerve, but she went towards him.
She touched his face. "What happened?"
He blinked, and a little humanness seemed to seep into him. She
held his face, tilting it down towards hers.
"Kaine?"
"I've never killed so many at once before . . ." he said softly.
"How many?"
His eyes flickered, darting as if trying to calculate the number. Then
he shook his head.
"What happened?"
He was looking through her, as if he still wasn't quite there.
"I was ordered to make a show of strength. A warning." He swal-
lowed. "There were rows and rows of prisoners. I don't know where they
got so many."
As he spoke, his expression slowly thawed, growing younger and
younger until he looked painfully boyish, his eyes huge. He was going
into shock. He didn't seem to be talking to Helena so much as trying to
explain it to himself.
"I didn't know there'd be so many," he said. "This wasn't supposed to
happen until I was gone."
"Oh, Kaine." She pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his
shoulders. He felt cold, even though it was nearly the peak of summer,
and his skin was clammy.
It felt impossible that he could continue much longer. As if he were
trying to outrun fate, but every time he managed to outpace it, Mor-
rough demanded something else.
And she couldn't do anything. The impotence burned inside her.
"Have you seen Ivy? Has she said anything to you? Is she still trying?
Maybe if you both—"
He blinked and seemed to come back to himself. He shook his head,
straightening. "Don't. I'm fine . . . I was just tired. I'll be fine. Almost
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over now."
He meant it as reassurance, but the words left her empty as he van-
ished back through the door.
She was so on edge after Kaine left again that when she felt a sensa-
tion in her lower abdomen, her first reaction was pure panic.
She went utterly still, heart faltering, and it came again. Fluttering.
She stared down, pushed her dress flat so she could run her hands
over the swell between her hips.
She still forgot sometimes that she was pregnant.
As unbelievable as Lila getting pregnant during the war had been,
she had always liked children; they were drawn to her, and Lila knew
exactly how to make them laugh.
Helena had never had that kind of allure. She didn't know if she
could be a good mother, or if wanting to keep this baby wasn't just her
selfishness rearing its head. Her inability to let go.
To love someone. To be needed.
Her hand trembled violently as she pressed it against her stomach,
letting her resonance reach hesitantly inwards, sensing the tiny bones
softer than cartilage, veins like threads.
Soon this would be all that was left of Kaine in the whole world.
"I'm going to take care of you," she whispered. "It's—our way."
She'd barely spoken the words when the door opened and Kaine
strode in. It had been nearly a day but his colour was still unsettling, his
eyes too bright.
"Stroud's coming," he said, his voice tense. "I came as fast as I could,
but I have to— "
As soon as he reached her, he was removing the manacles and sliding
the nullium tubes into place. Helena winced as her resonance vanished
like an extinguished light.
Kaine was barely done fastening them when his eyes lost focus.
"She's here. Make sure everything's hidden."
When Stroud arrived, it was clear that the current tensions disagreed
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934 • SenLinYu
with her. There were hollows beneath her eyes. Her cheeks were red
from split capillaries.
"Central is specifically designed to accommodate gestation," she was
saying in a strident voice. "Marino is our most crucial subject. She
should be there, where I can keep a close eye on the foetal development
and we can move quickly once viability is achieved."
"And you think that the 'gestational environment' you've set up is
conducive for someone with a heart condition agitated by stress? You
might as well ask her to attempt a spontaneous abortion," Kaine said,
sneering at Stroud. "Marino is my prisoner. The High Necromancer
entrusted her to me, and he has not changed his mind on that point. I
will not have you tampering with my assignment just because you'll no
longer have Shiseo's work to legitimise yourself with."
Stroud turned a furious shade of red, as if a fresh wave of capillaries
were splitting beneath the surface of her skin. "I will be appealing this."
"You're welcome to try, but I did tell him of your interference and its
contribution to her current state. She might not have a heart condition
at all if you hadn't rushed her interrogation by injecting her with a
nearly lethal dose of stimulants and threatened to cut her tongue out if
she didn't get pregnant. Now get on with whatever pretence brought
you here."
Stroud's entire face was nearly beet red as she performed a perfunc-
tory check of Helena's heart condition and pregnancy. She'd seemingly
hoped to sneak into Spirefell and commandeer Helena while Kaine was
busy.
In a few minutes, she was done and furiously repacking her satchel
so that Kaine could escort her back out.
Helena watched from the window as Stroud climbed into a motor-
car and pulled away. The car was barely through the gates when the
lights in her room flickered, and she heard the distant buzzing the main
wing. Kaine was already being summoned again.
She watched through the window as Kaine emerged from the house,
swinging up onto Amaris's back. The chimaera ran half the length of the
courtyard and was airborne.
Helena pressed her hand on the window, the nullium tube pressing
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Alchemised • 935
against the tendons of her wrist.
The day's paper arrived with lunch. The photograph on the cover was
enough to turn her stomach.
It was taken from the main gates of the Institute, which opened di-
rectly across from the steps of the Alchemy Tower. There on the steps
stood Kaine, no helmet, nothing concealing his identity, his face was
visible for all to see, his eyes so bright they distorted the photograph.
Between him and the gate, covering the commons, were rows of bodies.
She kept waiting for Kaine to come back, but hours passed and he
didn't. It wasn't like him to leave her in the house with Atreus unless she
could secure the door.
Night fell and Lumithia was little more than sliver of light, as if the
night sky were a black curtain concealing the daylight, and someone
had pierced it with a knife.
A low howl floated through the house. Helena went to the window.
Amaris was standing in the courtyard, a huge shadow, only her edges
catching the moonlight. Her head kept dipping down to nuzzle some-
thing on the ground, and then she'd tilt her head back and give a soft
breathy howl with those horse lungs of hers, like a moaning gust of
wind.
As Helena watched, Amaris circled and pawed the ground, wings
fluttering nervously. For an instant the feeble moonlight reached the
ground, illuminating pale hair.
Helena ran to the door, finding one of the servants in the hall.
"Get Davies and the butler, I don't know his name," Helena said.
"Kaine's in the courtyard."
It moved, but very slowly.
Helena barely had time to think about the dark or the shadows,
clutching at the wall as she descended the stairs, willing her heart to
stay steady. She faltered at the doorway. The house was all dark; there
were no signs of Atreus. She tried to tell herself that it was good it was
dark, Morrough wouldn't be able to see well if he was watching.
She drew a deep breath and rushed across the gravel to where Ama-
ris was giving another helpless howl.
The chimaera snarled, whirling when Helena got close. Helena
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936 • SenLinYu
stopped, showing her empty hands.
"It's me," she said. "Remember? I'll help him."
Amaris stopped snarling, but her muzzle remained curled back. She
let Helena kneel and crawl the remaining distance to Kaine.
He was lying face down and when she rolled him over, her hands
came away wet with blood. He smelled of rot, of that awful hall under-
ground. His skin was cold, and he was barely breathing.
"Kaine? Kaine? What did he do to you?" She shook him gently. She'd
seen him injured by nullium before, but she'd never seen anything like
this. She had no resonance to reach out and find what was wrong. It was
so dark outside, she could scarcely see more than his outline. She felt his
pulse, but it was irregular in a way that would kill a human. Stopping
intermittently and then restarting, pulsing and stopping again.
She tried to lift him, but with the nullium in her wrists, she couldn't
hold him. She hooked her elbows under his arms but didn't have the
weight or strength to move him across the ground. She sank back into
the gravel, and his head lolled back against her shoulder.
"Kaine— "
He didn't respond.
She looked around for the servants and spotted Davies and the but-
ler and several other servants coming out, carrying electric torches. They
moved as if only half there.
Amaris snarled, and Helena quieted her, petting her ears and urging
her back enough for the servants to reach Kaine.
"Take him to my room," she said softly. "Be gentle, I don't know
where he's hurt."
The butler pulled Kaine carefully over his shoulder.
Amaris was trembling, a low groaning whine as her nose followed
Kaine up the steps, head bobbing like she wanted to go with him into
the house.
"He'll be all right. I'll take care of him. You did everything you
could." Helena stayed a moment longer, pressed against the immense,
reassuring warmth of the chimaera, and then she forced herself to turn
and cross the open gravel back to the far door.
Calm. Stay calm, she told herself over and over, willing her heart to
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stay even, not to let her mind slip into the shadows. You have to get up-
stairs to Kaine.
She reached her room before the servants did, in enough time to
turn down the bed and clear the table of everything except what medi-
cine she thought might be useful. She started wetting towels while she
waited.
The butler was smeared with blood where Kaine's body had pressed
against him.
"Hold him so I can get these clothes off," Helena said, pulling off his
clothes and discarding them onto the floor, trying to find the source of
the injury now that she had light. There were no wounds anywhere. Not
anymore. What had they done to him? Where had the blood come
from?
The more she couldn't find a cause, the more her chest clenched in
dread. Had they done something inside him?
"Bring me all the medical supplies you have in this house," she said
to the other two servants who hovered uselessly, their eyes even more
unfocused than usual. "And hurry if you can."
The butler laid him on the bed, and she wiped the residual blood
away.
She wrapped all the bedding around him, trying to keep him warm,
and then hurried back to the pile of blood-soaked, stinking clothes
lying on the floor, rummaging through his coat until her fingers grazed
a familiar shape. She gave a small gasp of relief and pulled out the med-
ical kit.
It was still intact right down to the waxed sheet of written instruc-
tions, carefully folded and stored. Several of the vials were long empty,
but in the slot she wanted was a new, full vial and the necessary syringe.
Clearly it was something he used regularly.
She pressed her forehead against the kit, sighing with relief, and
hurried back.
She checked his pulse. It was still intermittent, starting and stalling
and failing and then beginning again.
She wiped his chest clean of any remaining blood.
"Sorry," she said as she filled the syringe, tapping it to knock out any
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938 • SenLinYu
bubbles, and then she sank it into his chest, right over his heart, pressing
down on the plunger, injecting the full dose.
Kaine slammed upright almost faster than Helena could pull the
syringe away, clutching at his chest. Then he dropped back down on the
bed, going limp. He was conscious now, his eyes roving blindly around
the room.
"Kaine?"
"— h- lena . . . ?" Her name slurred from his lips.
He sounded bewildered. She set the syringe down and came closer,
but his eyes weren't following her. They kept roving as if trying to find
something to land on. She leaned over him, stroking his hair back.
"I'm here. What did he do to you?"
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Whe're we?"
Her throat tightened, and she glanced around. The lights were on,
the room familiar. Her face was just above his, but he was staring
through her.
"We're in my room. You collapsed outside, and I had the servants
bring you here. Can you see me?"
"Can't— g . . ." His mouth worked, and she'd never seen him look so
scared before. "Can't— sseee . . ."
Suddenly his expression changed, and he grasped blindly for her,
hand bumping against her arm "You all right?—your heart? Is your—
heart— "
She caught his hand and pressed it against her chest and then her
face. His fingers spasmed against her cheek. "I'm fine. My heart is fine.
I'm a healer, remember? Patched you up a lot of times. Calm down."
She cleared her throat, sitting on the edge of the bed so he could feel
her nearness, checking his heartbeat and pulse again. Now it was racing,
too fast, but at least it wasn't failing. "I had to inject you with the stimu-
lant to keep your heart going. It kept giving out, but I don't have my
resonance. Can you try to get my manacles off so I can check you?"
She led his hand to her wrists, placing them on the manacles, but his
movements were disjointed, and his fingers kept twitching oddly.
Whatever had been done must have been neurological; he'd never had
symptoms like this before. He tried several times. She finally grasped
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Alchemised • 939
hold of his fingers, stilling them.
"Never mind," she said as she fought to keep her voice steady. "Never
mind that. I'll work manually." She swallowed. "Can you tell me what
happened? Why did he do this to you? You've been doing everything he
wants."
He was quiet for a while, when he finally spoke his words were
smoother, no longer so disjointed. "Hevgoss announced their alliance
with the Liberation Front this afternoon."
That should have been good news.
"In their— declaration, they cited my 'barbaric slaughter' as the rea-
son. Seems I should have foreseen this and refused orders. I was made
an example of—the cost of failure and incompetence."
His chest convulsed as if he were attempting to laugh.
"What did he do?" Helena said, afraid of the way he'd avoided the
question.
He exhaled. "He ripped out my heart first. Said it was—f- fitting . . ."
Helena was speechless. It had never even occurred to her that it
something like that could be survivable.
He managed a grimacing smile. "I think I owe the Principate an
apology—terrible way to go. Although growing back was the worst
part . . ."
His voice trailed off again.
She was glad he couldn't see as she forced herself to breathe slowly
several times. She pressed her hand over his heart, feeling the heartbeat.
"And then?" she prompted.
His face twisted. "I'm not—I was still—" He gestured at his chest. "It
was something—to my spine, I think. I couldn't see. Couldn't move. I
don't remember when my eyes stopped—"
Helena's throat closed, but she kept her voice steady. "Well, your
heart is stable now. I don't know how long the neurological symptoms
might last. The best thing is to rest and give your body time to recover."
The servants finally returned, carrying several wooden cartons of
medical supplies.
Helena sat beside him, going through their contents. Many more
vials of the stimulant, which she hoped not to need. Kaine fell asleep
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940 • SenLinYu
after a little while but kept jerking, his fingers twitching spasmodically.
He'd start awake, still blind, searching for her, his fingers grasping, try-
ing to feel her heartbeat.
Helena would reassure him that she was fine, and he'd pass out again.
She worried the most about his spasticity. He kept tensing, twitch-
ing, his muscles curling inwards, hands and fingers curving into claws.
Helena knew the stimulant caused withdrawal symptoms like that,
but she was worried about those symptoms being combined with some
kind of brain or spinal injury. Should she have let him be? Was it pos-
sible for him to end up with permanent nerve damage? He regenerated
so poorly now.
She took his right hand in hers, working at it slowly, knuckle by
knuckle, until the muscles were no longer curved and rigid. Every time
she moved her thumbs, the tendons twinged against the nullium, but
she didn't care. She kept going, working up his arm to his shoulders, and
then she started on the other hand. A gnawing pain radiated up her left
arm, but she couldn't stop.
This was all she could do, and she would do it.
She checked his heart. It was finally steady. His expression relaxed
when she spoke. So she talked to him softly, about anything she could
think of. All the things she'd always meant to tell him.
After half a day without waking, she hooked him up to a saline drip.
He still didn't stir. A few times, she heard footsteps in the hallway, but
if Atreus was lurking about the house again, he didn't come too near.
Finally, Kaine's eyes fluttered and opened, falling on her.
She went very still. "Can you see me?"
He squinted. "Shapes at least." He squeezed his eyes shut, wincing
and reopening them. "I think it's getting better."
"Good." She nodded shakily. "I was thinking perhaps the heart in-
jury could have caused blood clotting, or maybe there was nerve strain.
Either could cause temporary blindness."
He gave an absent nod because it hardly mattered either way. His
fingers trailed over, finding her. "Are you all right?"
"Of course," she said, grateful he couldn't see clearly, because she was
too exhausted to lie convincingly.
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Alchemised • 941
He started to close his eyes, but then they snapped open again. "My
father is at my door." He sat up stiffly with a groan. "I need to go deal
with him. There's still arrangements I haven't—"
Helena caught him by the shoulder. "You can't get up yet. You're not
recovered."
He placed his hand over hers, trying to squeeze, but instead his fin-
gers spasmed. "My father cannot find me here. I don't need to recover
anymore. You have to leave tonight. I can't make it a perfect trip, but
there's enough in place. You'll be able to manage."
"T-Tonight?"
He said nothing else. He stood up, pulling the needle from his arm,
and dressing quickly. He struggled with the buttons on his shirt; Helena
had to help him.
"My eyes are getting better already," he said, his voice hoarse. "I can
see how disapproving you look."
He took her hands in his and after some difficulty managed to get
his fingers steady enough to remove the manacles. She locked the cop-
per back around her wrists herself.
"Keep the door locked," he said. "I'll be back by nightfall."
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CHAPTER 73
Julius 1789
Helena studied the room around her. It was still cold there,
even in the heat of summer. All the iron did not allow for much warmth.
The sheets of her bed were stained with blood. The scent of decay lin-
gered on the air, a creeping necrotic rot that had infected everything in
her life.
It was strange to stand inside a prison, and dread leaving it.
She heard shouting and went to the window in time to see Kaine
emerging from the front doors. He was moving more easily now. Atreus
stood in the doorway, screaming at him with such rage that Helena
couldn't make out his words.
Kaine just went into the stable and brought out Amaris, pulling
himself onto her back with almost convincing ease.
Atreus was still shouting as Amaris flew away.
She watched him shake his fists at the sky. The eeriness of seeing
Crowther's living corpse never failed to unnerve her.
Atreus finally stopped screaming at the sky and stood a moment
longer, before looking directly at the window where Helena stood.
She stepped back instantly, but it was too late; he'd seen her watch-
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Alchemised • 943
ing. An inexplicable sense of dread pierced her to the marrow.
She went and checked that the door was securely locked, feeling all
the iron inside the door and walls. It was barricaded and reinforced.
There was no way for him to get in.
Reassured, she sat studying the array she'd designed, tracing her fin-
gers along the lines. The design would work, it would create the power
and stability she'd need, but it didn't matter because it required five
components, and she only had three of them.
She'd wasted so much time.
She buried her face in her hands for a moment, but her head jerked
up at the smell of smoke and charred meat.
There was black smoke wafting into her room, and then the door
began to char, the iron barring smouldering, as a dim red glow grew
slowly brighter.
"Come out, come out, little prisoner." Crowther's voice came from
the other side. "I want to talk to you."
Helena watched in horror as the wood charred away, and Atreus
became visible through the iron bars. He looked almost alive, the red
glow giving colour to the dead grey skin.
The bars keeping him out grew hotter and brighter, changing from a
red to orange, and the room began to burst into flame, the wallpaper
spontaneously igniting. There was a sharp crack as the glass casing in
the corner broke, the eye plummeting into the fire that was crawling up
the wall.
Crowther would never in his life have bothered to utilise his pyro-
mancy to manipulate something as inferior as iron, but Atreus Ferron,
the iron Guildmaster, was trying to bend iron to his will once more.
If he couldn't, he'd probably burn her alive in this room instead.
"What do you want?" she said.
"I have questions for you," Atreus said. "Come here."
She hesitated.
"You don't want to smother to death inside that room, do you?" The
rug began to smoke. "Come. Here."
Helena went forward, carefully, trying to stay back from the most
intense heat. She could only hope that Atreus still lacked Luc and
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944 • SenLinYu
Crowther's talent for distance pyromancy.
A terrible smile spread across his face. "I've had many bodies over the
years, but it's strange—this one has a violent reaction to the sight of you.
You knew him, didn't you? Well, I believe."
Helena's steps faltered. She'd never heard of liches retaining the
memories of the corpses they occupied, but there was no reason why
some remnants might not linger.
"I didn't remember you at first. I thought it was only the corpse re-
acting, but when you attacked my son, it reminded me of that night. I
barely recalled that body, it was too long dead before they brought it
back, but I remembered you. The High Necromancer was pleased to
finally get some answers about that bombing. As a reward, he shared
some of the technique this resonance requires." Crowther's spiderlike
fingers twisted, and the heat intensified.
Helena said nothing. The iron between them glowed brighter, and
the wall smouldered as it charred away. Atreus was keeping the fire
contained, but he could burn the room down around her if he chose.
The heat of the glowing iron was distorting the air and threatening
to scorch her skin.
"Strange attack, that bombing. That Lancaster mongrel was beside
himself at the sight of you. I was told you did it all alone, but I've seen
your records. You were nobody. No training, no combat experience. I'm
expected to believe an unranked healer was single-handedly responsible
for one of the most devastating attacks we sustained?"
Stroud had also commented on the lack of records surrounding Hel-
ena. She hadn't questioned it at the time—much of her healing had
been treated as religious intercession rather than medical work—but
Crowther had made her put her name down in the prisoner files, chain-
ing her to him. And there had been all her work with Shiseo, the med-
icine, the chelators. The bomb. There would have been records of that.
Unless . . .
Kaine wouldn't have wanted her to be a person of interest to the
Undying. And Shiseo, if he had been planted, waiting in Central in case
Helena ever reappeared—he couldn't have any records tying him to her.
"You were a decoy, weren't you?" Atreus said, interrupting her
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Alchemised • 945
thoughts. "Everyone knows how the Eternal Flame saw your kind; who
better to use as a sacrificial pawn to protect the true last member of the
Eternal Flame."
He grinned maniacally as he said it, his face aglow with triumph.
Helena had assumed that Atreus had come because he was suspi-
cious about Kaine's injury, but no, this was about his mission. All his
interrogations and victims had yielded no results, and so he'd turned his
sights to Helena.
"You were sent here because you know something of vital impor-
tance. The High Necromancer entrusted my son to find it, but now he's
grown so concerned with the thing growing inside you, he's forgotten
that you know who the killer is. The one who bombed the banquet and
the West Port Lab. Once I've caught them, the High Necromancer will
have nothing to fear."
The iron glowed yellow, and the bars were beginning to droop as
they turned molten.
"I don't remember," Helena said, her blood becoming a roaring pres-
sure in her ears as the growing heat rippled across her skin. It was grow-
ing hard to breathe. "I can't remember anything about that. The High
Reeve tried to find out, but if I ever knew it, it's lost."
"I don't believe you." Atreus stepped back and kicked the door. The
drooping iron bars folded in on themselves, collapsing. As he stepped
through, Helena caught sight of a charred mass crumpled on the floor.
One of the servants had tried to stop him.
Atreus forced her to fall back. With each snap of his fingers, fiery red
flames materialised around him.
Atreus tilted his head. "My son is always worrying over you. Your
delicate heart and constitution; one would think you were quite the
exotic flower. He thinks that success comes by acting as an obedient
enough slave." Atreus shook his head. "He's always been too terrified of
failure to understand that success requires risks. That otherwise every-
thing can be ripped away . . ."
Atreus's voice trailed off.
Helena's eyes darted towards the window, hoping desperately to
catch sight of Amaris.
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"Are you hoping he'll come for you?" Atreus was suddenly terrify-
ingly close. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the window,
pinning her chest against it. "My son. Do you think he'll save you?"
Helena's throat closed as Crowther's thin, spider-like fingers dug
into her arm, the iron window lattice biting against her skin. The sky
was empty.
She was on her own.
She'd never fought a pyromancer. If she tried to fight back using her
resonance, she'd give Kaine away. Atreus would immediately know
who'd removed the suppression on her manacles. She'd have to go for
the kill. No hesitating this time. The obsidian knife was hidden under
the mattress of her bed, but the bed was on fire. The room was on fire.
Atreus pressed his face close to hers, looking up at the empty sky
with her. The powdery lavender scent on his skin almost overpowered
the stench of blood on his clothes.
"You're fond of him, aren't you? You can admit it to me. After all, he
takes you for walks and keeps you so comfortable in this room, with
protective servants at your beck and call. I do believe he enjoys keeping
an eager creature like you around. The Holdfasts must have trained you
well."
Helena only managed to draw one ragged breath.
Crowther's lips brushed against her ear. "My son will enjoy you far
less if I'm required to burn the information out of you."
One chance. She had one chance to catch him off guard and rip out
the talisman.
"I don't remember," she said again, trying to gauge how fast she'd
need to move, which direction to twist free.
"Maybe you just haven't wanted to enough," Atreus said, and before
she could move, his fingers snapped.
Pain exploded across her back as her dress caught fire. Pain like a
brand across her shoulders. Her knees gave out as she screamed.
There was a hiss and the fire across her shoulders vanished, but the
pain didn't stop, the heat didn't disappear. Her mouth worked sound-
lessly, her vision turned white.
All she could smell was smoke and burned hair.
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Alchemised • 947
"That was your only warning. Don't lie to me," Atreus said, dragging
her back onto her feet and pinning her against the window, his weight
bearing down on the burns, forcing a rasping scream from her. "I don't
ordinarily move so quickly during interrogations, but I don't have time
to build your dread." His mouth moved against her ear. "Tell me who it
is, or I will hurt you exquisitely."
"I don't know— " she said. The words came out a half sob. "I promise
I don't."
Atreus sighed. "Kaine will be so disappointed when he finds you."
His fingers snapped again. Fire ran down her back like the lash of a
whip.
She seized so violently that her head slammed against the window,
nearly knocking her out.
Her ears were ringing from the blow, and everything seemed to slow,
her panic giving way to a slow lucidity.
Kaine wasn't going to come in time.
They'd used up all their luck surviving this long. Half a day short,
and it had run out.
Atreus dragged her up. "I'm no fool. Everyone knew there was a spy
among the Undying in the year leading up to the Eternal Flame's de-
feat. The Resistance knew too much. The High Necromancer suspected
that one of his most trusted had betrayed him, but they were never
identified. They are the piece that remains unaccounted for. The evi-
dence is undeniable. The massacres and acts of sabotage that were so
uncharacteristic of the Eternal Flame. That person was responsible for
the bombings, including the one that destroyed the West Port Lab.
They disappeared after the final battle only to reemerge shortly after
you did. You know exactly who it is."
Helena tried to twist free, fingers clawing, trying to reach his face.
Contact was all she needed, but Atreus crushed his weight against her
burning shoulders, forcing a strangled scream from her. There were
black spots in her vision.
"Tell me who it is." He shook her.
"Kaine will be killed— if you hurt me," she choked out. Her body
was going numb, sinking her into a dissociative shock, as though she
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948 • SenLinYu
were a prey animal already hanging by her throat.
"The High Necromancer will forgive my means if I find the killer,"
Atreus said. She could see his face reflecting in the glass. His eyes had a
burning look of utter desperation. It was strange how reminiscent of
Kaine his expressions could be even in Crowther's face.
"Kaine will survive. He can have more children," he said.
Helena's head grew light. She could hardly breathe in the smoke.
The room was engulfed in flames behind them.
Knowing she'd never see Kaine again, she couldn't help but look for
any traces of him in Atreus. There was a similar evasiveness of their eyes
in the way the spoke. The same look of furious desperation that Kaine
wore all too often when he was cornered, when he thought he had
nothing left to lose.
Despite their contempt for each other, Kaine had inherited his fatal
flaws from his father.
Enid had been everything to Atreus, and now she was gone, and he
was left grasping after shadows.
What would Kaine be like with someone who glimmered with con-
stant reminders of what he'd lost? Perhaps something like Atreus, who
could neither stand his son nor stay away.
She finally understood.
"He's going to kill Kaine . . . if you don't find the killer, isn't he? That
punishment— it wasn't just because of Hevgoss, it was a warning for
you, wasn't it?"
Atreus's expression turned black. He shook her so violently she
nearly fainted. "Who is the last member of the Eternal Flame?"
"He looks like your wife, doesn't he? It's the eyes and mouth; they're
so much like hers. He's all you have left of her now. But every time he
sees you, he hates you with your wife's eyes."
Atreus raised his hand, ignition rings glittering.
"I'm the one who blew up the West Port Lab," she said quickly, be-
fore the rings could spark. "I used to help Luc study pyromancy theory.
I wasn't supposed to, but he did better with companionship, so I studied
it, too, even though I didn't have the resonance. I used those principles
and theory to design the bombs, and then I used necrothralls to plant
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Alchemised • 949
them. Because I am the last member of the Eternal Flame."
She drew a deep breath. "But you're right—there was a spy. I was his
handler."
There was a flash of triumph in Atreus's eyes. He saw victory in his
grasp.
"But you won't save Kaine by finding him. The killer you're searching
for is your son."
Atreus stared at her dumbfounded before his expression contorted
into fury. He forgot his pyromancy. His fingers wrapped around her
throat. "My son would never ally himself with the Eternal Flame."
"Yes, he would. He hates Morrough," she rasped out. "He always
hated him. Did you never wonder what happened to your family after
you were arrested?"
Atreus sneered at her. "Nothing. When Kaine killed the Principate,
my failure was forgiven."
Helena shook her head. "Then why is there an inert iron cage in this
house, and a transmutational array carved into the floor? Why are all
your servants dead? Do you really think someone like Morrough was
understanding during all those months before Kaine went back to the
Institute?"
Doubt flashed across Atreus's face.
"He kept your wife in that cage; he tortured her. He made her watch
as he ripped out your son's soul. Kaine killed Apollo trying to save her.
And it was all your fault."
"You're lying!"
She knew she should go for the kill, but she wanted to hurt him.
She grabbed hold of his head even though her shoulders screamed in
protest and shoved her resonance through his skull. He was too startled
to stop her.
She'd never used any type of animancy on a lich before. It was easy,
like shoving her hand into a rotted gourd. There was a simpleness about
the mind; it lacked the noise of the truly living. Atreus's thoughts were
linear, flattened. They all ran towards Kaine and Kaine alone, because
that was all he had left of Enid.
She knew that when Kaine had checked her memories, she could
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950 • SenLinYu
feel his consciousness, his emotions. There was no reason why she
couldn't push her own memories through that connection instead of
looking for Atreus's.
She wanted him to know. To understand the consequence of what
he'd done.
Her mind was a cacophony of rage, and she shoved it all through
Atreus's skull.
Kaine was kneeling in front of her as she was reaching towards him.
"Did— did any of them say anything that could incriminate you?"
No. That wasn't what she wanted to show him. She tried to focus.
Kaine kissing her, hands cradling her face, pushing her back onto the bed,
his body over hers, pressed close.
Her memories were so disjointed and overlaid, she wasn't even sure
if that memory was old or new.
" Your soul has been ripped out of your body. With time I think it will re-
integrate, but initially it would need to be secured, like—like the servants'
souls are doing to the phylactery."
"A sacrificial soul."
She nodded, unable to look up. "The person would have to be willing."
Not this. Enid. Something about Enid.
"My life was blown apart when I went home at sixteen, and everything
I did from that point on was trying not to lose the only thing I had left. When
she died— it didn't matter . . ."
She could feel Atreus's shock, his outraged disbelief. He tried to tear
free, and she nearly lost her grip. The connection between their minds
turned red.
Kaine's face, clearly younger, his hair still dark, appeared in front of her,
fury radiating from him. "Who do you imagine was alone with the High
Necromancer when word came that my father had been caught and con-
fessed?"
Atreus stopped struggling. Helena's lungs were fighting for air, but
she was lost in her memories, trying to crystallise them.
"I'd hear her screaming for hours sometimes."
Searing heat was swallowing her, but Helena wouldn't stop.
"She kept saying it was all her fault, and her heart stopped—"
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Alchemised • 951
Helena was jerked up. Her head lolled back, and everywhere she
looked fire was crawling across the walls, consuming everything.
A pale face loomed in front of her. She struggled to focus.
"Hold on."
The voice was distorted, but she knew it. She reached out dazedly as
Kaine's face flickered in her vision.
"You came— " She reached for him. "I guess you always do."
"Hold on, I'll get you out," he said, pressing her hand down and pull-
ing her close.
Something painfully heavy was wrapped tight around her, and he
lifted her into his arms. She arched in agony as his arm pressed against
her raw shoulders, but he gripped her tight, carrying her through the
flames. The hallway was thick with smoke, fire creeping out from her
room, but he didn't stop until they were outside.
She gasped the clean, fresh air greedily as he laid her down.
"What happened? What did he do to you?" Kaine's hands were
shaking so hard, he couldn't form a stable resonance channel.
Something huge and black suddenly closed in on her, blotting out
the sky until Kaine snapped an order and Amaris backed away.
Helena couldn't manage words. Her lungs kept spasming for air, and
everything was swimming. Breathing made her want to scream from
pain. Kaine kept asking questions, but her mind struggled to focus.
Atreus came staggering out into the courtyard. His face was streaked
with smoke, and his expression alight with rage.
At the sight of him, Helena clutched at Kaine's arm. "He knows
about your mother. I'm sorry. I told him."
"Doesn't matter," he said as he stood.
Black smoke was filling the courtyard as if the house were a smoul-
dering corpse.
"Why didn't you tell me what happened to your mother?" Atreus
asked, his voice a low snarl.
Kaine faced him, his shoulders stiff. "What difference would it have
made?"
Atreus lunged at Kaine. "You should have told me. She was mine!"
Kaine sidestepped, but not as easily as he ordinarily would have. The
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952 • SenLinYu
movement was stiff, his fingers spasming unnaturally. Helena caught
sight of his face. His eyes were aglow.
"Yes, and what a terrible curse for her that was. You told Morrough,
after all. You never cared what rumours they spun in the city, but you
told him about her, that she was everything to you, that you'd do any-
thing for her. She was your proof of how loyal you'd be to the cause."
Kaine's voice was filled with fury. "Do you think he cared how long it
took for torture to break you? No. All that mattered was that you broke,
and she was right there. Your most treasured possession. You loved her
right into her grave."
Atreus's long, thin, spider-like fingers curled, ignition rings gleam-
ing on his hands.
Kaine laughed bitterly. "They must have found you terribly amusing
when they brought you back and you stayed loyal. And you called me
the dog."
Atreus's grey skin purpled with rage. "You should have told me."
"Why? What would it have done if I had? What grand vengeance
would you have exacted that I should have risked my work to tell you?"
"What work is that? Crawling, snivelling between the legs of Hold-
fast's pet whore?" Atreus sneered at his son. His rings flashed against
each other.
Kaine's resonance split the air. The spark of fire hung in place as
Atreus flew in one direction, and his ignition rings were ripped into
another. Atreus hit the gravel, skidding several feet. The flames van-
ished. When Atreus lifted his head, purple blood seeped from gouges
down one side of his face.
"Oh dear," Kaine said, standing over him, pure malice in every word.
"Seems you've lost your fire again, Father."
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CHAPTER 74
Julius 1789
The wrought iron that filigreed the house unfurled like
serpents and wound around Atreus, pinning him like an insect. He'd
snap all the bones in his body long before he'd escape.
Kaine went back to Helena. His hand trembled as he touched her
face. "How badly did he—"
"Just— just my back, and it's not—too deep. The nerves are still in-
tact." Which was a good thing, but it was also why the pain was excru-
ciating. She sat, leaning against her knees as she felt his resonance sweep
along her back, numbing the searing pain.
"I just need to catch my breath," she said, but she was shaking un-
controllably.
"It's almost over now. Once you're healed, you're going to go on Am-
aris. Do you think you can?"
She wasn't sure if she could even stay conscious much longer, but she
couldn't say no to him.
"Is that what this was for?" Atreus's furious voice broke in from
where he lay contorted on the ground. "All this because you're trying to
save her?"
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954 • SenLinYu
Helena thought Kaine would ignore his father, but he looked up at
him. "It seems I am cursed to love as you do."
"After he has killed you, Morrough will have her hunted to the ends
of the earth. There is nowhere she can hide. You're wasting yourself for
nothing."
Kaine ignored him, his eyes going briefly out of focus. "The fire is
out. Let's get you inside."
Before she could try to stand, a loud blaring split the air. For a mo-
ment, Helena thought it was the buzzer, that Kaine was being sum-
moned again, but it came from the wrong direction.
They turned in time to see a lorry come roaring up the road, ap-
proaching so quickly it threatened to crash through the gates.
"They're coming! Let me free!" Atreus shouted. "Let me free!"
The lorry stopped short, and a figure tumbled out of the driver's side,
clutching something against their chest, as if fleeing with a child in
their arms.
"I got it! I got it. Take it quick."
It was Ivy. She was pressed against the gate, her eyes wild, and she
kept looking over her shoulder as if expecting pursuit.
Helena stumbled across the courtyard to the gate, grasping towards
her.
"How did you—?" Helena's voice shook with disbelief as Ivy shoved
the bundle through the gate at her. It was wet and smelled like gangrene
and formaldehyde. The fabric fell aside, revealing a rotted arm, ripped
off at the elbow, missing dozens of bones as the skin sloughed off, three
fingers remaining. They twitched as if still alive.
"Sofia did it," Ivy said, her voice breathless and shaking. Her eyes
were red, her face streaked with tears and smeared with rot. "I tried all
kinds of ways to get close enough." She shook her head. "Couldn't. She
did it."
"How?"
"Morrough doesn't watch his own necrothralls," Ivy said, her face
twisting at the admission. "But she does what I tell her. Always does.
She walked over and he didn't even notice her there. She ripped it off
and threw it to me. He attacked her first— so I was able to run." Her
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Alchemised • 955
face crumpled. "Do you think she'd forgive me now, if she knew?"
Helena didn't know what to say. "She loved you."
Ivy stood trembling.
Kaine had reached them now, his expression unreadable, but he
reached into his uniform and pulled out an obsidian knife.
"What are you—" Helena started, but he flipped the hilt away from
himself and offered it to Ivy. She took it without hesitating.
"Through the chest, near the heart," he said. "It's quickest that way."
Ivy nodded and turned, scrambling back into the lorry. In a minute
she was gone, the rumbling engine fading until the only trace she'd ever
been there was the dust above the road and the bundle clutched in Hel-
ena's hands.
"Kaine," she said, her voice hoarse from smoke. "You can come with
me now. We can escape together."
He shook his head. "Come inside."
She stared at him in disbelief, not moving when he tried to guide her
back towards the house. His jaw set, and he picked her up.
"What do you mean?" she said, still clutching the bundle in her arms,
trying to get down even though she knew she was tearing open the
burns on her back. "This was what we needed. This buys us a month, I'll
be able to find a way . . ."
"I can't go with you," he said, walking towards the house. "My father
is right. When you escape, war or not, you'll be hunted. If I went with
you, we'd have a month, and I could protect you, but then I'd be gone,
and Morrough would know what direction the hunters didn't come
back from. Eventually they'll find you. If I stay, now that we have this,
and he can't control me anymore, I can make sure that no one he sends
makes it out of the city until you've safely disappeared."
She clutched at his shoulder, trying to make him listen. "But what if
I reverse it— "
He shook his head as they neared the door. "You need a willing soul
for that, and you're not going to find one, because the only person who'd
die for me is you."
She stared at him as if he'd struck her in the throat.
"What? You're not even going to ask me?" Atreus's voice rose taunt-
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956 • SenLinYu
ingly from the ground.
Helena gasped, wrenching at Kaine's shoulder in order to look past
him at his father. Atreus still lay on the ground bound in iron, barely
able to move even his fingers.
"Would you?" Helena said.
"I'd rather die," Kaine said before his father could reply.
"You need someone willing." Atreus said, looking at Helena. "Isn't
that right, a willing soul? You have my phylactery there. It's the middle
bone of the index finger."
She looked down at the rotting arm. It was oozing a thick, black
slime in place of blood, but the middle bone of the index finger was
among those remaining. Her heart thudded in disbelief.
"Why would you be willing?" Kaine asked, sneering down at him, his
eyes scorching. "You've hated me since before I was born."
Atreus looked away. "Your mother would want me to save you."
"Well, you're too late," Kaine said.
He carried Helena inside, refusing to stop, even when she begged
him to.
"I'm not having this conversation," he said. "The only thing left is
getting you out as quickly as possible. It's lucky those necrothralls' eyes
have practically rotted inside their heads, or we'd already be caught."
He passed the charred remnants of her room, stepping over a corpse.
It was one of the maids. The remaining servants were inside the room,
casting water to ensure there were no residual flames, gathering the bits
and pieces of things that had survived. The windows were open, the air
clearing, but it still stank of burned carpet, the sour scent of doused
wood, and the tang of melted iron.
He set her down and unlocked a room a few doors down. There were
medical supplies inside it, as well as packed bags. He pulled out a box.
"How do I—? For burns, I've never—"
"If your father . . ."
"We are not talking about this until I've healed you," he said, his
voice hard. "Now give that to me."
He pulled the arm away from her, dropping it into a closet and clos-
ing the door to block the smell.
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Alchemised • 957
She doubted that he had any intention of discussing it after she was
healed, but it had to be done either way.
"Cut off my dress; we'll have to use saline to try to loosen the fabric
where it's sticking."
He brought the crisped remnants of her hair forward and pulled out
a pair of shears, carefully cutting away the back of her dress.
"I hated these dresses," she said as he was washing her back, trying
to soak free the remaining fabric. She touched her shoulder, using her
resonance to feel the damage. The burn was deeper than she'd realised.
The nerves were intact, but given the burn's size and depth, it would
take more time than they had to heal it completely. Kaine's hands were
spasming too badly for that kind of repetitive tissue regeneration, and
Helena wouldn't be able to contort her shoulders to reach it. He man-
aged the shallowest sections, but eventually his fingers grew so uncoop-
erative that his resonance kept failing. He stepped away, breathing hard.
"It's fine," she said.
"It's not."
"Even if your hands were steady, it'll take too long to heal all of it
now," she said. "If it's clean and numb, it'll keep until later."
He nodded slowly and rummaged through a carton, pulling out a
familiar jar of salve. "Would this do?"
She gave a faint laugh. "Yes, that'll do."
He applied it carefully and wrapped her back in silk bandages, be-
cause they were gentler than linen.
"Your poor back didn't get nearly such luxurious treatment," she said
as he worked.
She felt his resonance across her skin in all the places that were sore
from the scalding air, and a small cut across her forehead that she hadn't
even realised was there. Little things he could manage.
"Kaine," she said as he finished. "I need to talk to your father."
"He won't help; he's just trying to make you hope in order to hurt
you. And even if he wasn't, I am enough like him already, I don't want a
piece of his soul inside me."
She turned his face to hers. "You are all he has left of your mother.
He loved her, as well as he knew how to love anything. When he looks
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958 • SenLinYu
at you now, he sees her. He knew the risk he was taking, coming after
me. He did it because he thought it would save you."
She inhaled. "I know you don't want to believe it's possible, because
hoping terrifies you. But I would rather die trying to save you than live
knowing there was a chance and I didn't take it."
She could feel him wavering.
"You promised we'd run away together," she said. "Remember?"
He dipped his head. "Why is it that I have to keep all my promises,
but you never seem to keep a single one of yours?"
She shook her head, tilting up her face so their foreheads touched.
"The first promise I made to you was that I'd be yours for as long as
I live. I'm keeping that one."
Helena's room was in ruins, her clothing nothing but ash. Fortu-
nately, Kaine had travel clothes ready for her. Study, neutral-coloured
riding clothes. She dressed carefully, trying not to worsen the burns on
her back.
The hallway was soaked with water, reduced to charred ruin, but the
iron remained like the bones of a beast.
Atreus still lay on the ground where Kaine had left him, his eyes
closed. They opened at the sound of approaching footsteps, his head
lifting. He looked between Kaine and Helena and laughed.
Helena gripped Kaine's arm before he could react.
"I want to talk to him alone," she said.
"No."
"He can't do anything to me. Just wait here."
She felt Kaine's eyes on her as she walked towards Atreus. Atreus
watched her approach with equally piercing interest.
"I didn't make my offer to you," Atreus said when she got close.
She knelt beside him. "You know he won't ask."
He looked away from. "Then consider it withdrawn."
Her chest clenched in dread. She was tempted to beg, but she knew
that Atreus wouldn't care about her humanity or humiliation.
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Alchemised • 959
"I'm going to escape regardless of what you do. Refusing will only
kill him."
Atreus looked past her, towards Kaine, who stood watching them.
Longing like hunger shone in Atreus's eyes as he stared at his son.
She wanted to speak, she waited. Finally Atreus broke the silence.
"I only realised how much he resembled her when I returned. I'd
never noticed it when he was a boy." His eyes were straining, struggling
to make out Kaine from the distance. "I never understood why she
wanted a child so much. I would have adopted an heir from another
family in the iron guild if need be. I should have been enough for her."
Helena watched him pityingly. He was pathetically jealous.
"He's all that's left of her now."
He finally looked at her. "Can you really save him?"
"Yes, if you truly want him to live."
He did not answer immediately. Her heart dropped like a stone. If
he wasn't completely willing, the bond would fade away, and Kaine
would slip through her fingers just like Luc had.
"Enid was my life," he finally said. "If she were here, she'd tell me to
save him. I never could say no to her about anything."
Helena reached out and bent the iron away. He rose slowly. He did
not look at her or Kaine, but turned and walked into the house.
When they entered the drawing room, Atreus could not tear his
eyes away from the cage. Had he not seen it? Or simply never stopped
to wonder at its purpose?
"How long was she— ?" His fingers trembled as he touched the bars.
He sank to his knees, as if intending to crawl inside to occupy the same
space.
"Four months," Kaine said, his voice dull. His eyes were darting
around, the way they always did inside that room.
Helena wanted to comfort him, but they were running out of time.
There was so much to do.
She began working across the array on the floor. The array she'd
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960 • SenLinYu
etched had been melted and destroyed by the fire, but she had every
detail memorised. She only needed the central part of the original array,
but the defacement had to be repaired and altered. She needed it to
hold Kaine's soul in place until she could secure it.
The new array was laid in iron. It was perfect for their purposes and
readily available.
She and Kaine knelt on opposite sides. He closed his eyes and when
they opened, they were glowing. Unsteady as his hands were, his reso-
nance was stronger than hers. The air shivered as the house groaned, and
iron began to flow towards them like water. When it reached the array,
Helena used her own resonance to direct it, sending it morphing down
certain pathways carved into the floor, moving towards the contain-
ment circle in the middle.
Industrial guild arrays could be as big as buildings, but Helena had
never worked with an array larger than she could hold. The array on the
floor was too large to see at once, and she had to crawl across it, verify-
ing that every line and symbol was correct. It had to be perfect.
Her heart was in her throat, its jerky unsteady rhythm taunting her.
One chance.
"It's ready," she said at last, standing up in the centre of the array.
"We can begin."
Kaine nodded but then went towards the door. The remaining ser-
vants were gathered in the hallway beyond, Davies standing in the front.
"Is Amaris ready?" he said.
One of them nodded.
Kaine stood there not moving. "I never—I never told you—I'm sorry
I couldn't save any of you."
Davies took a hesitant step forward, mouthing his name as she often
did. She smoothed his hair back the way a mother might and then
placed both hands on his chest and pushed him back. Away from them.
Helena went over to where Kaine had left Morrough's arm. The
stench of it was like a kick in the stomach each time, and she worked
quickly, disassembling it. The thing was repulsive. Holding it, she could
feel all the power it contained, the lives of so many running through
each bone. In the section of the ulna nearest to the hand, there was a
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Alchemised • 961
horrible sense of familiarity. The piece used to bind Kaine. She removed
what she needed and discarded the rest.
Kaine was standing in the centre of the room, stripped to the waist,
covered in violent scars, the array on his back the starkest of all. Atreus
was staring; it was obvious he'd never seen it before.
Kaine's focus was entirely on her.
There was no platform over this array. She would be in it beside him.
"Lie on your back," she said.
She knelt, guiding his hands to places she needed them on the array
and then met his eyes. Her heart was struggling, threatening to grow
uneven.
"This will work," she said. "I promise. I'm going to save you."
She pressed her hands on the cold iron and let her resonance flow
into it.
She had never poured her animancy into an array except for small
experiments on the etching plates. It took so much more power than
she'd expected. As the array activated, a glow crept slowly along the iron
until the entire array was humming. Kaine seemed to grow so translu-
cent that she could see through him, his bones and organs and the talis-
man tangled beside his heart.
She pulled out the phylactery. The bone was so old it threatened to
dissolve into dust, and she had to focus to feel the energy in it. It was
like a package bound with thread, so tangled up it was hard to tell the
strands apart. But she had to work carefully or risk causing damage. She
unwound and unwound with her resonance, and the threads seemed to
go on forever, until there was a sudden thump, and she looked up as one
of the servants in the hallway collapsed to the ground.
She looked away.
She kept going, flinching as another hit the floor. And another. And
another. And of course the last one, which meant she'd been the first to
die, was Davies. She met Helena's eyes the instant before she fell.
There was a rush of energy as the bone shard crumbled, the convul-
sion before the energy altered into that cold, death surge, but instead of
transforming it was dragged down into the array.
The air illuminated, and Helena's hair lifted from her shoulders.
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962 • SenLinYu
Kaine began to scream.
His eyes went stark, wide, and unseeing. His back arched up, his
hands clawing at the floor until his fingertips and nails were torn bloody.
Helena leaned over him.
"No. Don't do this. Hold on," she said, struggling to pin him down.
He had to stay in the centre.
She forced his heart to calm, paralysing his limbs until he couldn't
struggle, but he didn't stop screaming.
Her fingers fumbled for Atreus's reliquary. She was frantic as she
freed it, tearing the tangled threads of energy off. The bone crumbled,
and the energy in the array tried to drag in Atreus's soul, too.
She gripped it in her left hand and wouldn't let go. It couldn't mix
with Kaine's. She strained her resonance so hard, her hand cramped,
pain shooting up her forearm. Using her right hand, she pressed down
on Kaine's chest, pulling at the sea of energy swirling through the array,
trying to drag it into him, but his agony pushed his resonance outwards,
against her, and no matter how she strained, she couldn't push through.
She leaned towards Kaine until her forehead touched his. He'd
stopped screaming because his voice had failed. His eyes were unfo-
cused.
"I need you," she said. "We're almost to the end now. But you have to
come back to me. We're running away, remember? You, me, and our
baby. We're going to be free. I'm going to save you, but I need you to
fight with me."
There was a sudden shock of pain in her left hand, and two of her
fingers lost sensation, falling limp, and she barely managed to hold her
resonance to keep her grip.
She lurched forward, kissing Kaine's face. "Come back to me. Stay
with me."
His eyes seemed to find her.
She pressed against his chest again, and it was like breathing in a
roomful of oxygen, trying to force all the energy inside him. The outer
edges of the array ceased to glow, slowly seeping inwards until the light
vanished beneath Kaine and the strain on her left hand finally stopped.
He was barely breathing, a rasping, rattling sound emerging from
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Alchemised • 963
him every time he drew a breath.
Helena worked fast. She wouldn't allow what happened to Luc to
happen again. She could fix it this time.
She mangled Atreus's soul, her animancy resonance stretching it fine
as a thread and binding it in the same way the souls had been bound
around the reliquaries, wrapping the energy again and again, like a tan-
gled spiderweb, through Kaine's ribs and around the talisman.
Not enough to make a new parasite like Cetus, but enough to buy
time until Kaine's body remembered what it was to have a soul.
When she was done, Kaine lay still. She pressed her hand against his
chest, feeling him. Alive and mortal.
No signs of seeping cold.
Helena slumped down, so tired she could have passed out beside
him, but it wasn't over yet. This was only the beginning.
She pushed herself unsteadily to her feet.
Crowther's corpse lay dead once more beside the cage.
Her left hand was still cramped into a contorted fist, still holding the
tattered remains of Atreus's soul.
She touched the corpse, and it took only a little of the nothing she
had left to reanimate him. She pressed her left hand against his chest
and pushed what was left of Atreus back into it.
His eyes slowly came back into focus. Kneeling beside him, she
could feel the same sensation she'd felt as Luc gradually died. That slow
bleed of life ebbing away, but for now he was not dead.
He looked towards Kaine, lying still on the floor. "Is he alive?"
She nodded. "Will you help me carry him? I can't lift him on my
own."
Atreus stood and went to Kaine, while Helena paused, trying to re-
pair her left hand. She followed Atreus where he was pulling Kaine up,
dressing him quickly. It took them both to lift Kaine off the floor. His
head lolled back and his feet dragged. She paused again, reanimating
the servants, one last time, needing their help.
It was past nightfall, Lumithia was barely visible, Luna a waxing
crescent, the night sky lit with stars.
Amaris stood just outside the doors, stomping nervously. She was
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964 • SenLinYu
already saddled with travel bags cinched on. Her wings fluttered as the
servants carried Kaine out.
"It's all right. He's all right," Helena said, going hesitantly towards
Amaris and shushing her, trying to calm and coax her to the ground
because it would be impossible to lift Kaine onto the chimaera if she
remained standing. She pulled down at the halter on Amaris's head.
Very reluctantly, the chimaera crouched, her yellow eyes following
Kaine.
Kaine seemed to have just barely begun to regain consciousness, his
eyes sluggish as he was draped across the saddle. There were straps and
a harness, which had likely been intended for Helena. She secured him
to the saddle.
Amaris kept trying to turn her head, a low whine in her throat.
"It's all right," Helena kept saying as she scrambled up behind Kaine
on the saddle. She reached into her pockets, finding Atreus's ignition
rings and holding them out.
"The array has to be destroyed," she said as he took them. "No one
can know he's still alive."
Amaris rose to her feet, wings already extending in readiness for
flight, and Helena was about to release the reins and let her run when
Atreus spoke.
"Kaine . . ." he said.
Kaine lifted his head just enough to look at what remained of his
father. Kaine's face was exhausted, and pained, but the malice and ha-
tred was gone as he stared at Atreus.
"Father . . ."
Atreus's whole face seemed to soften. He started to reach out, but
Amaris snarled in warning, his long fingers curled away.
"Your mother was always so proud of you. She said you were the best
thing we ever made." Then Atreus looked at Helena. "Save him."
Helena didn't answer, she simply loosed the reins. Amaris raced
across the courtyard, flight muscles tense and rippling beneath the sad-
dle, and she leapt, launching herself. Her onyx wings beat against the
black sky, and they were airborne, climbing higher and higher. The air
whistled around them, and Helena clutched at the harnesses securing
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Alchemised • 965
Kaine.
The city was bright, but the mainland was like a void, a black abyss
they were attempting to flee, straining towards the stars.
As Amaris levelled out, something flickered below. It grew, becom-
ing an immense, glowing ring of light as Spirefell was consumed by
roaring flames.
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CHAPTER 75
Julius 1798
The Novis Mountains loomed stark against the starlit sky.
Helena put their backs to them, flying south.
Amaris had been younger and smaller when Helena had last ridden
her. Her wings were stronger and steadier. Once Helena pointed her
south, she seemed to know to follow the river.
The darkness below was nearly endless, punctuated with the clus-
tered lights of towns and villages.
Everywhere Helena looked there was endless dark. She buried her
face against Kaine's back, trying to breathe.
"Don't die, Kaine," she kept saying, pressing her face between his
shoulders, feeling the feeble thud of his heartbeat against her forehead
to reassure herself that he was still alive.
She didn't know how long they flew; the night seemed endless.
Amaris began to descend without warning, and Helena nearly
slipped sideways. For a terrifying moment, she thought she'd fall.
Kaine jerked from barely conscious to awake. His hand shot back
and he grabbed her, holding her tight as she managed to get centred
again. She tried to squeeze with her legs, but they were so tired she
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Alchemised • 967
could scarcely hold on anymore.
Amaris hit the ground at a run and Helena nearly bit through her
tongue. She looked around desperately, trying to make out where they
were as Amaris cantered through the dark. There was an electric torch
in one of the saddlebags, but she couldn't remember which anymore.
Amaris halted, standing and waiting as Helena shifted to dismount,
sliding down.
Amaris was several hands taller than she remembered. The ground
did not meet her feet when expected. She fell the rest of the way, caught
by thick, lush summer grass. She lay, staring up at the stars, a glittering
path across the sky.
Before the Disaster, it was said people could travel by following the
stars, but no one knew where they went anymore. She struggled back to
her feet.
"Kaine," she said, fumbling through the dark until she found Amaris
and then Kaine's leg, his boot hooked in the stirrup. "I don't know where
we are. What do we do now?"
He lifted his head slowly. She could only see his silhouette in the
dark. He tried to get off and then realised he was fastened to the saddle.
Helena felt her way to Amaris's head and urged her down to the
ground before finding the straps and clips and unfastening them as best
she could. Kaine leaned on her as he dismounted.
"Hunting cottage just . . ." His voice sounded raw.
They walked forward slowly, and then there were steps and a wooden
door, and they stumbled inside. There was a shelf by the door that held
a torch, and she flicked it on. It was barely more than a shack. Simple
and rough- hewn, just a place to sleep.
There were two narrow beds, but Helena and Kaine collapsed into
one, not bothering to remove their boots or cloaks.
"We did it, Kaine," she said. "Just like we always said we would."
She woke because her back was on fire, her left wrist throbbing with
a nearly numbing pain. She struggled to open her eyes, staring around
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968 • SenLinYu
in bewilderment before remembering where they were.
Kaine was sitting beside her, awake but haggard. He was leaning
forward, a hand pressed against his chest as though all his ribs were
cracked.
"Are you— all right?" She struggled to sit up.
He nodded jerkily. "Fine. I'm sure it'll pass."
His throat was still hoarse and raw. He'd torn it apart screaming, and
now things like that would take time to heal on their own.
"What will pass?" She tried to reach out but only managed to brush
her fingers against his coat. Her body felt boneless. "What's happen-
ing?"
"It's nothing. I'm just not used to feeling—human anymore," he said.
She managed to get close enough to reach out. He was right, there
was nothing wrong, but he felt delicate as a spiderweb inside. If a single
thread snapped, it might all be for nothing.
She rested her head against his shoulder, breathing slowly. "You have
to be so careful. It could takes months, maybe even years before your
soul fully integrates again. No vivimancy or animancy, nothing that
could strain your vitality at all. One mistake could be enough to kill you.
And you can't lean into the array anymore. You won't regenerate, and it
could burn your back open."
He tucked a curl behind her ear. "You already told me all this yester-
day. You know, I do make a habit of listening when you talk."
She nodded but couldn't help herself. "You have to be careful."
"I will be. Now, are you all right?"
"Just tired." she said, slumping back down, but the pain in her back
felt like she was being rebranded.
"How's your back?"
She winced. She hadn't wanted to bring it up, because she knew it
would bother him that he couldn't heal it.
"I think the salve wore off," she said. "It's starting to hurt a little."
He started to reach.
"Don't," she said. "Give me minute and then we'll use the salve so we
can go."
"We'll rest till dark," he said as he applied the salve. "Amaris is too
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Alchemised • 969
recognisable for travel during the day. It's a few days' journey to the
coast."
When her eyes opened again, it was dark outside. Kaine was packing
the saddle bags. He looked up the instant she stirred. "Are you strong
enough for more travel?"
They would have stayed if she said no, but she knew the more dis-
tance they put between themselves and Paladia, the less likely they were
to be tracked down. They were racing against time. The Abeyance
wouldn't wait.
"Yes," she lied.
They flew almost the whole night. The sky was silvering with signs
of dawn when Amaris landed again. There was no cabin. Kaine removed
Amaris's saddle, and they slept leaning against her furry sides, her black
wings blotting out the daylight as the sun rose.
When Helena opened her eyes, Kaine was still asleep beside her, his
face turned towards her as if he'd fallen asleep staring at her.
She traced her eyes across his face. His now mortal face, softly illu-
minated.
They were free.
Her heart swelled inside her chest.
It felt like a dream. One wrong move and it would all dissolve. Even
staring at him, she could not shake the feeling that it wasn't real. And
even if it somehow was, then it would not last.
The beautiful things in her life never did.
He was so still that she reached out, fingers trembling. At her touch,
his eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes opened. She watched the light fill
them as he looked at her.
"Hi," she said, because she was too overwhelmed to say anything
else. She cleared her throat, sitting up. "I need to check you."
Amaris stood up, stretching, and abandoned them, wandering off
into the woods, while Helena had Kaine open his shirt. She pressed her
hand against his chest, trying to sense his condition now that she was
no longer dazed with exhaustion.
He was still nothing natural, that was undeniable, but there wasn't
anything they could do except give him time and hope that his body
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970 • SenLinYu
could find its way back to a semblance of normalcy. There was a fragile
tenuousness to his vitality as if a careless touch could shred it apart.
She was equally worried about his physical condition. It would have
been better if they could have waited. He'd still been recovering from
what Morrough had done to him , and now it was possible that he never
fully would. Both his heart and his tremors worried her, and the thought
of the array charring his back open if he ever leaned into it again made
her throat close. Her hands shook.
"There are things you're used to treating as ordinary that you can't
survive anymore," she said.
"I know," he said. His voice was still rasping. She shifted closer,
pressing her hand against his throat to repair all the damaged tissue.
"I know you know rationally," she said, "but I mean instinctively. You
have years of bad habits that you don't realise."
The thought terrified her. What if they were attacked? Kaine was
highly competent in combat, but immortality was a crutch that he did
not know how to fight without.
She should have planned more carefully. He'd told her to get her
strength back, but she had focused on research, and that had saved him,
but what if they were attacked, and she couldn't fight, and he was killed?
What if it was all for nothing?
Fear ran like a fissure through her chest.
She looked around, trying to spot the saddle bag. There were knives
in it. She needed to get them. She should be carrying them.
Everything was so bright, blurring—
"Helena—Helena, breathe. Look at me. I'm going to be careful. I'm
not going to let anything take me from you."
She tried to nod, but her throat caught.
"But what if something goes wrong?" she asked, her voice straining.
"It's going to fall apart. It always—falls apart."
She tried to pull away, eyes casting around. They were in the open,
endless forest around them. Danger could come from any direction. It
wouldn't even need to be the Undying. It could be anyone.
He turned her so she'd face him. "Look at me. We have not left any
trace to follow. I've hunted fugitives, I know how you get caught. And
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Alchemised • 971
we are not going to get caught. You've seen me fight carelessly because
I could afford to in the past, but I have learned to be more careful.
Slower regeneration has taught me caution. Look at me: I trusted you,
and you got us here. It's your turn to trust me."
She nodded jerkily.
"Now then," he said, reaching towards her lap, "are you going to tell
me what's wrong with your hand?"
She looked down. The last two fingers of her left hand were curving
inwards and didn't move with the others. She curled her hand into a fist
to hide it.
"The array had quite a pull to it. It took a bit of straining to manage
everything. The ulnar nerve just—came apart. I tried to fix it, but—
there was too much long-term damage, it wasn't really salvageable."
Kaine took her left hand gently in his and straightened all her fin-
gers. When his thumb stroked the last two, Helena couldn't feel it. Not
in her fingers or along the outer part of her palm. His fingers trembled.
"It's fine," she said. "It's not even my dominant hand, so I can still do
most alchemy. I bet I'll barely notice."
"Don't," he said through gritted teeth. "Don't act like it's fine."
She pulled her hand free. "It is fine if I get you instead."
There was food in the saddle bags, and Helena used retrieving them
as a pretext for digging out her daggers and concealing them in her
clothes.
The day wore on. The longer they were free, the more anxious she
grew.
Kaine was restless, too, although he hid it better. The more he recov-
ered, the more he wanted to patrol and verify that they were as safe as
he claimed they were, but he stayed beside her so she could bury her
face against his chest, fingers tangled in his shirt, sleeping restlessly.
After flying that night, they reached another hunting cabin. The
travel exhausted them both. They barely spoke, just slept tangled in each
other's arms until it was nearly evening. When she woke, Kaine was sit-
ting beside her. His eyes had the faintest gleam to them again.
He looked almost like a painting.
She could see the possessiveness in his eyes, enough to realise how
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absent it had been in his attempts to let her go. He leaned over her and
kissed her
She wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting him nearer, under
her skin, beneath her ribs, inside her heart. To hoard him so close noth-
ing separated them so that her terror of losing him would finally end.
Time always ran out for them. They'd spent years surviving on stolen
moments, and now she finally felt how starved it had left her.
It was only after, as she lay beside him, her fingers tracing absently
along the scars of the array, that she realised her back didn't hurt. That
it should by then, but it didn't.
She craned her arm around, touching her shoulders. Kaine sat up.
"What did you do? Did you heal me?" She whirled on him. "I told
you, I warned you not to use to any vivimancy."
He looked completely unapologetic. "I'm fine. I was careful, and you
know that plenty of healing doesn't use any vitality. You're already too
injured for this amount of travel without my father's torture still seared
across your back."
She reached for him, fingers shaking as she pressed her hand against
his chest, terrified of what she'd find, that she'd find him already slip-
ping away from her.
What if she'd woken up and found him dead beside her, and been
left alone there to realise why? She checked over and over.
Her throat worked several times before she could speak.
"You shouldn't have done that," she said, her voice shaking. "It wasn't
worth it. Plenty of people heal from burns without any vivimancy. I was
fine."
He held her face in his hand. "Helena, look at you. You have broken
yourself into pieces, over and over, because of me, and you don't seem to
understand that it kills me. Living is not worth it to me if you're the one
who keeps paying the price for it. Let me fix what I can."
She closed her eyes, her face buried against his chest, listening to his
heartbeat.
"We have to stop hurting ourselves for each other," she finally said.
"Both of us. We're not going to last if this the only way we know how
to love."
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Alchemised • 973
When it was nightfall, they flew onwards. From the darkness, some-
thing vast and faintly silver rose before them. Helena's breath caught.
It was the sea.
They veered left, travelling away from the river.
Kaine seemed to know where he was going, despite the darkness.
They passed over several small bodies of water, the lights of a village,
and onwards through the dark until they saw a small flickering light
visible through shutters.
Amaris descended straight towards it. The shutters rattled violently
as Amaris's wings fluttered. Helena slid off, legs aching.
A door flew open, and warm light poured out. Helena squinted.
Haloed in the doorway stood Lila.
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CHAPTER 76
Julius 1789
Lila gave a heaving, gasping sob and stumbled down the steps.
She had a rough prosthetic and a crutch, but it did not stop her from
dragging Helena into her arms and hugging her ferociously.
"Hel, Hel. You're really alive."
Lila's hands were running over Helena, touching her face and shoul-
ders as though she couldn't believe that Helena was real.
Helena stared at Lila in equal disbelief. Even though she'd known
Lila was alive, she was so accustomed to the thought of everyone dead
that she couldn't fully take it in even while staring at her.
Lila looked so different. Her blond hair was dyed brown, and her
face had a haggard weariness. The jagged scar still ran down her face,
and she was crying as she hugged Helena.
"Lila . . ." Helena's heart felt as though it might explode. She'd been
unprepared how viscerally the reunion would remind her of everyone
who was gone.
"I thought I'd never see anyone again. Look at you. You're so thin."
Her eyes ran down Helena's body, stopping at her stomach, and she
froze.
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Alchemised • 975
Helena's chest clenched. "You know, right? Kaine said he was in con-
tact with you."
Lila nodded slowly.
Behind them, Kaine dismounted.
Lila's head snapped up, as if she hadn't noticed him until that mo-
ment. "What are you doing here?"
Without warning Lila lunged towards him.
Helena had to throw herself between them, pushing her back. "We
escaped together. Lila, don't hurt him, he's not Undying anymore."
A savage light came into Lila's blue eyes. "Really?"
"You're not going to have any more luck killing me now than you
have at any point in the past, Bayard," Kaine said. "Lose any more limbs,
and you won't be much protection for that little Principate of yours."
Lila gave a snarl like a wildcat, looking ready to tear out Kaine's eyes.
"Stop, both of you," said Helena, furious that they'd managed to ruin
the reunion in less than a minute.
Lila stopped trying to assault Kaine and simply glared at him. "I
guess I shouldn't be surprised you weren't really going to die saving her
in the end."
"Shut up, Lila," Helena said sharply. "I brought him here. If you want
to be angry that he's still alive, then you'll have to be angry at me."
Lila looked back at Helena, a look of disbelief and then despairing
resignation sweeping across her face as she stepped back. "Fine. I'll keep
my mouth shut. Put that monster of yours away, Ferron. I don't want it
near Pol."
"Go on in," Kaine said to Helena. "Don't worry. I knew already that
Bayard and I weren't going to be having a joyous reunion."
He turned to Amaris and led her towards the stable.
Helena watched them disappear inside and then looked back at Lila,
feeling suddenly drained. She somehow thought there'd been enough
joy to last an evening at least, but it already felt spent.
It wasn't that she'd expected things be simple; a sea of loss sur-
rounded them. She couldn't begin to imagine how Lila felt towards
Kaine after all this time. Still, she hadn't expected to need to legitimise
something as intensely personal as her relationship with Kaine so
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976 • SenLinYu
quickly.
"Lila, if you hurt him, I will never forgive you," she said.
Lila just shook her head. "You could do so much better."
"No. He's what I need, and he's what it took to save you."
She could see a multitude of objections rising to Lila's lips.
"Come inside," Lila said instead, looking away.
It was only when they were in good light that Helena realised that
Lila was still wearing manacles. Not the full suppression that Helena
had worn, but enough to keep her resonance weakened.
"He never took those off ?" Helena said,
Lila looked down with a grimace. "He did for a while, until I nearly
ripped out his talisman. When I woke up." She shook her wrist. "It's
been a long time now."