I woke up with three problems.
First, my probation bracelet was still on my wrist, and the tether chain was still there, faintly shimmering like it enjoyed ruining my dignity.
Second, my shirt was on backwards.
Third, there was a red lipstick mark on my collarbone that absolutely was not mine, and a silky ribbon tied around my wrist like I'd been gift wrapped by a villain.
I stared at the ribbon.
Then I stared at the ceiling.
Then I whispered, very quietly, "Oh no."
From the bed, Elise's voice came out sharp and instant.
"Explain."
I froze. "How long have you been awake."
"Long enough," Elise said, sitting up like a judge rising for sentencing. Her eyes locked onto the ribbon. Then the lipstick mark. Then my backwards shirt. "Explain."
"I can," I said quickly. "I can explain. It's just that the explanation will make you angry."
Elise's expression did not change. "It already has."
I sat up slowly, pulling the blanket higher like a coward.
"Elise," I said, "I did not break any rules."
Elise's eyes narrowed. "Then why do you look like you fell out of someone's romance novel."
"I don't know what you mean."
Elise pointed. "That is a ribbon."
"It's… a gift."
"That is lipstick."
"It's… an accident."
Elise's cheeks went pink with rage. "Accidentally kissed."
"No," I blurted. "Not kissed. I mean— maybe— look, it was a mana thing."
Elise went still. "Mana thing."
I nodded fast, sweating. "Strictly consensual. Candle lit. Boundaries stated. Nobody died."
Elise's eyelid twitched. "Ren."
"Yes."
Her voice dropped into something deadly calm. "Which one."
I swallowed, because my survival instinct was screaming and my pride was already dead anyway.
"…Freya."
The silence was so complete it felt like the room itself leaned in.
Then Elise said, with terrifying softness, "Aerodynamic."
I nodded once, miserable.
Elise stared at me for a long moment, then swung her legs off the bed and stood.
"Fine," she said.
I blinked. "Fine."
Elise grabbed her cape and snapped it onto her shoulders like she was armoring her soul.
"If you are going to be shamelessly targeted," she said, "then we will do this properly. In public. Controlled. No surprises."
My system chimed like it was excited for the suffering.
DAILY EVENT: HERO BLOOM CONTINUES
NEW OBJECTIVE: MANAGE COURTERS SAFELY
TIP: YOUR HAREM IS MULTIPLYING
I swallowed again. "Elise."
She turned, eyes sharp. "What."
"Please don't say 'manage courters' like I'm an animal shelter."
"You are," she said. "A very adoptable one."
My face went hot. "That's not—"
A knock hit the door.
Then another.
Then another.
Like someone was playing a drum solo with their confidence.
Elise opened the door with the expression of a woman stepping into battle.
The hallway was full again.
And it was worse.
Charlotte Beaumont was there, elegant as ever, leaning against the wall like she owned the building.
Yuki Tanaka stood beside her with a clipboard, looking delighted.
Mira Kuroda had a stack of scrolls.
Rika was bouncing on her toes, tail swishing like she'd had too much sugar.
Sofia Dragomir looked like she hadn't slept and had instead spent the night practicing smirks in a mirror.
Kaori Minazuki was holding a neat little basket with handmade charms and blushing at the concept of air.
And Freya Lindholm waved cheerfully like the ribbon on my wrist was a signature.
Behind them were more girls. New girls. Curious girls. Confident girls.
A tall brunette in a green dress who looked like a noble.
A short blonde with a dagger and a grin.
A calm woman with braided hair and a healer's satchel.
A red-eyed mage who stared at me like I was a snack.
I stepped back on instinct.
The tether chain tugged me right back into fate.
Yuki lifted her clipboard.
"Good morning, Hero Ren," she said brightly. "Today we are implementing a schedule."
Elise blinked. "A schedule."
"Yes," Yuki said. "A date schedule."
I choked. "A what."
Yuki smiled like she'd been waiting her whole life to say this sentence.
"Your Hero Bloom is causing disruptive traffic," she said. "People are lining up outside the inn. Someone tried to throw flowers through the window. There was a mild riot over who gets to walk on your left side."
Rika raised her hand. "It should be me."
Sofia raised hers too. "It should be whoever he stares at."
Kaori whispered, "It should be… nobody, if it stresses him…"
Freya grinned. "It should be whoever can make him blush fastest."
Charlotte's smile sharpened. "It should be whoever can keep him."
Elise's face went slightly murderous. "He is not being kept."
Yuki tapped her clipboard.
"Therefore," she continued, ignoring Elise like a professional, "we will distribute controlled romantic exposure in timed intervals. Short dates. Public locations. Consent Candle mandatory. Chaperone present."
Elise exhaled through her nose. "I hate this city."
Yuki beamed. "So does the city. That's why it's thriving."
Mira adjusted her glasses. "I have drafted agreements for fair rotation."
She held up a scroll titled: Courter Rotation Protocol.
I stared. "You made paperwork for flirting."
Mira nodded. "It reduces violence."
Rika whispered loudly, "It increases kissing."
Elise snapped, "NO KISSING."
Yuki made a small note. "Kissing pending Hero's consent."
My system chimed, unhelpful.
CHOICE EVENT: DATE QUEUE
TIP: SMILE. THEY WILL EAT YOU IF YOU LOOK SCARED
I forced a smile.
That was my first mistake.
Because the hallway collectively reacted like I'd offered them blood.
Freya clasped her hands. "He smiled."
Kaori made a tiny sound and hid behind her basket.
Sofia's eyes darkened like she'd just decided something.
Charlotte tilted her head, pleased.
Yuki said, "Excellent. He's cooperative."
Elise looked like she wanted to throw me into the ocean.
"Today's schedule," Yuki announced, "includes six official dates, two bonus micro-dates, and one emergency cooldown."
"Elise," I whispered, "why is there an emergency cooldown."
Elise whispered back, "Because you look like you might faint if someone compliments your breathing."
"That's not true," I said.
Charlotte's voice floated in smoothly. "Your breathing is very cute."
I almost fell over.
Yuki nodded. "See."
Elise grabbed my wrist. "We're leaving. Now."
And just like that, I was marched out into Lustra with a paladin and an expanding harem moving like a flock behind me.
The city was alive with heat and perfume and people who absolutely knew what a probationary hero meant.
Somebody shouted, "Good luck, Ren!"
Somebody else shouted, "Don't let them ruin you!"
Rika shouted, "Let them ruin you!"
Elise hissed, "Stop yelling!"
My system chimed again.
PUBLIC STATUS: LEGENDARY EMBARRASSMENT
Date One was a pastry shop.
Freya insisted.
She dragged us into a cute little bakery with pink curtains and heart-shaped buns like the universe had no shame.
Freya leaned over the counter and ordered in a voice that implied sin.
"Two cream horns," she said. "One for me, one for him. And make his extra sweet."
Elise stood between us like a wall. "He can choose his own pastry."
Freya's eyes sparkled. "He can choose me."
Elise's glare could have murdered a dragon.
I held up the Consent Candle, because I had learned something important in this city.
If you don't light the candle, the air itself starts flirting.
I lit it.
The glow steadied everyone.
Freya leaned close to me anyway, smile bright.
"Ren," she murmured, "I had fun last night."
Elise's head snapped toward her. "Last night."
Freya blinked innocently. "Mana transfer. Strictly professional."
The lipstick mark on my collarbone burned like a confession.
I tried to recover like a normal man.
"It was… helpful," I said.
Freya's grin widened. "Say 'thank you' properly."
My brain shorted.
Elise's voice went sharp. "He does not have to—"
I swallowed, cheeks hot. "Thank you, Freya."
Freya sighed dramatically like I'd just proposed.
Sofia, watching from the doorway, muttered, "Pathetic. I love it."
My system chimed.
XP GAINED: 15
BONUS: POLITE FLIRT RESPONSE
Date Two was a bookstore.
Mira's choice.
It was quiet, warm, and smelled like ink, which should have been safe.
It wasn't.
Because Mira kept leaning close to "explain the contract terms," her voice calm and gentle, while her finger traced lines on the paper far too slowly.
"This clause," she said softly, "means you may refuse at any time."
I nodded. "Good."
"And this clause," she continued, "means they may attempt again later."
I blinked. "That's bad."
Mira smiled politely. "It's realistic."
Then she slid a pen toward me.
"Sign here," she said. "Acknowledging you are aware you are desirable."
I stared at her. "That's not a legal thing."
"It is in Lustra," Mira replied.
Elise leaned in from behind me, voice low. "Do not sign anything that calls you desirable."
Mira's smile grew. "He already is."
I signed anyway because I was weak, and the pen smelled like flowers, and I hated myself.
My system chimed.
NEW STATUS: OFFICIALLY DESIRABLE
Date Three was a riverside walk.
Kaori's choice.
She walked beside me with tiny careful steps, holding her basket like a shield. Every time she glanced at me, she blushed like it physically hurt.
"I brought charms," she whispered.
"For what," I asked.
Kaori looked down. "For… protection."
"From monsters," I said hopefully.
Kaori went red. "From… attention."
I laughed, softly, because it was cute.
Kaori made a tiny sound like she might die.
Then she held out a charm, trembling slightly.
"It's… for calm," she whispered. "If you wear it, maybe your heart won't race so much."
My chest tightened in the dumbest, sweetest way.
"Thank you," I said gently.
Kaori's eyes went shiny. "You're welcome."
Elise, walking one step behind like an angry shadow, muttered, "At least one of them is sane."
Sofia, from the other side, muttered, "Boring."
My system chimed.
XP GAINED: 20
BONUS: WHOLESOME ROMANCE MOMENT
Date Four was "stamina training."
Sofia's choice.
It was supposed to be a gym.
It was not.
It was basically a fancy lounge with mats, mirrors, and a suspicious amount of scented oil.
Sofia crossed her legs and looked me up and down like she was deciding how to break me into pieces.
"You look tired," she said.
"I'm fine," I lied.
Sofia leaned closer. "Let me fix that."
Elise stepped in. "No touching."
Sofia smiled. "I can fix him with words."
Elise hesitated.
Sofia turned to me, voice velvet.
"Ren," she said, "good boy."
My soul left my body.
My knees almost gave out.
Elise choked like she'd been stabbed.
Rika squealed, "She used the forbidden spell!"
Freya applauded.
Yuki wrote something down like she was grading a test.
I grabbed the Consent Candle like it was a life raft.
Sofia's smirk turned satisfied. "That's right. Light it."
I did.
The candle voice spoke.
"Consent ritual active."
Sofia purred, "I consent to verbal teasing only."
The candle glowed steady.
I swallowed. "I consent to… survive."
My system chimed so hard it felt personal.
XP GAINED: 30
WARNING: YOU ARE VERY EASY
Date Five was a private balcony tea.
Charlotte's choice, of course.
She sat across from me with perfect posture and a smile that belonged in a painting.
"You're popular," she said.
"I noticed," I said.
Charlotte's eyes softened just slightly. "Do you like it."
My mouth went dry.
Elise stood by the railing like a furious statue.
Yuki stood in the corner like a chaperone of chaperones, holding a clipboard like a weapon.
Charlotte leaned in.
"I could make it easier," she murmured. "I could buy your probation away. I could give you a suite with guards. I could make the city stop grabbing at you."
That sounded like a trap.
It also sounded like safety.
I forced myself to smile, because I had learned a second thing in this city.
Flirting back didn't always mean giving in. Sometimes it meant choosing the tone.
"That's a tempting offer," I said, meeting her eyes, "but I'm not for sale."
Charlotte's smile widened, delighted instead of offended.
"Good," she whispered. "I hate cheap men."
Elise made a strangled sound.
My system chimed.
XP GAINED: 25
BONUS: FLIRT WITH SPINE
By the time the sun started lowering, my brain felt like it had been massaged and punched at the same time.
My harem had grown. More girls had joined the "walk." A healer named Anya Volkov. A dagger girl named Lucie Moreau. A mage named Hana Shimizu who kept staring at my mouth like it was a spell component.
And somehow, none of them were leaving.
They all loved me like it was their hobby.
They all wanted shameless things like it was their religion.
And Elise, still tethered to me, looked like she might explode any moment.
Yuki checked her clipboard.
"Final event," she announced. "Emergency cooldown. One quiet date. Hero's choice."
Every eye turned to me.
My heart tried to escape.
"Elise," I whispered, panicking, "what do I do."
Elise stared at me for a long moment, cheeks pink, eyes sharp.
Then she said, very quietly, "Choose something that won't kill you."
I swallowed.
Then I looked at the group.
"I choose," I said, voice shaky, "a simple walk. No teasing. No traps. Just… the night market. Food. Lights. Normal."
There was a beat of silence.
Then Rika raised her hand. "Can we hold his hand normally."
Kaori whispered, "If he wants…"
Sofia smirked. "Normal is boring, but fine."
Freya grinned. "Normal for five minutes, then we misbehave."
Charlotte smiled. "We'll behave. For him."
Yuki nodded. "Approved."
Elise exhaled like she'd been holding her breath since my death.
And as we walked into the night market, surrounded by lanterns and laughter and a very large, very shameless harem, I felt the ribbon on my wrist brush my skin.
A little reminder.
Something had happened.
Something consensual, something warm, something that left evidence.
And judging by the way they all looked at me now.
It was only the beginning.