The night market was supposed to be normal.
Food. Lights. Walking. Not dying.
That was the plan.
Then we arrived, and I saw the first booth.
A wooden sign painted in gold letters.
KISS STAMPS FOR HEROES
CONSENT CANDLE REQUIRED
NO TONGUE WITHOUT A PERMIT
I stopped walking so hard the tether chain tugged Elise backward.
Elise stumbled, caught herself, and instantly looked like she wanted to execute the entire market.
"No," she said.
Yuki Tanaka appeared at my shoulder like a demon with office hours. Clipboard in hand. Smile too bright.
"Yes," she said.
I looked at Elise. "Tell me this is illegal."
Elise's eyes narrowed. "It's not illegal."
"Why."
"Because Lustra is a cursed place," Elise hissed.
Rika bounced in front of me, tail swishing like it had its own ego.
"Ren," she chirped, "can I get a stamp. Just one. I will be very gentle. Like a kitten. A very shameless kitten."
Kaori immediately raised her charm basket like a shield.
"Only if he wants," she whispered, cheeks pink. "And only if it's safe."
Sofia smirked, arms folded. "I want a stamp too. Preferably somewhere visible."
Elise's head snapped toward Sofia. "Absolutely not."
Freya grinned like she was about to commit crimes. "We can do it on the cheek. Or the neck. Or—"
"Freya," Elise growled.
Charlotte Beaumont walked beside us, calm and deadly elegant.
"Don't bully him," Charlotte said. "We'll do it properly."
Mira Kuroda adjusted her glasses. "I have a policy draft for this."
I looked around at my increasingly large harem trailing behind. New girls too, because of course.
Anya Volkov, the healer, watching me like she wanted to "check my stress levels" with her hands.
Lucie Moreau, the dagger girl, grinning like she wanted to steal my first kiss and my wallet.
Hana Shimizu, mage eyes locked on my mouth like she was memorizing it for later.
And two more who'd joined at the corner like the market had a subscription plan.
Evelyn Adler, noble vibe, green dress, smile sharp. "Heroes deserve rewards."
Nao Sakurai, short hair, calm stare. "Heroes also deserve breaks. But I don't mind helping."
I swallowed.
This was not a break.
Yuki lifted her clipboard.
"Hero Ren," she announced, loud enough for the booth attendant to hear, "your cooldown date has been reclassified as Controlled Physical Interaction Night. For public safety."
Elise snapped, "Stop calling harassment public safety."
Yuki smiled. "We're preventing a riot."
Rika raised her hand. "There is already a riot in my heart."
Sofia murmured, "Same."
Freya said, "Mine is lower."
Elise made a sound of pain.
I grabbed my Consent Candle like it was the last holy object on earth.
"I'm lighting it," I said, voice shaking.
Elise's hand immediately covered mine.
"Do not let them pressure you," she said low.
"I won't," I said.
My brain said, You are lying already.
I lit it anyway.
The glow spread around us, warm and steady, and the market's air stopped trying to flirt with my lungs.
The candle's neutral voice spoke.
"Consent ritual active. State consent and boundaries."
Everyone went quiet.
Like the whole harem was actually capable of behaving when the candle became a judge.
Elise spoke first, clipped and furious.
"I consent to chaperone supervision. Boundaries. No explicit acts. No groping. No coercion. No cornering. No surprise kisses."
The candle glow stayed steady.
Then it was my turn.
I cleared my throat.
"I consent to… controlled physical interaction," I said, cheeks burning. "Boundaries. Public only. No explicit stuff. No… grabbing. I can refuse anytime. And if I look like I'm dying, please stop."
Rika whispered, "He's so cute."
Elise whispered, "Don't."
Then Yuki spoke, bright and professional.
"I consent to facilitate and time-limit interactions. Boundaries. No rule breaks. I will write down who gets what."
Freya raised a hand. "Do we get to vote on what counts as a rule break."
Yuki smiled. "No."
Mira nodded approvingly. "Excellent."
The candle glow remained calm.
And just like that, my night market date became a scheduled gauntlet.
Yuki slapped a paper on the booth counter.
"Rotation," she said. "Five minutes each. Two touches max. One optional kiss type, if the hero agrees. Cheek, forehead, hand."
I choked. "Optional kiss type."
Elise snapped, "Forehead only."
Sofia smirked. "Let him choose, paladin."
Elise's gaze could cut glass. "He will choose survival."
The booth attendant, a bored woman with a stamp pad, leaned over.
"Which hero," she asked.
Yuki pointed at me like I was evidence. "Him."
The attendant looked at my probation badge and smiled like she'd just found entertainment.
"Ah," she said. "Fresh."
I wanted to disappear.
Rika stepped forward first without even waiting for permission, then stopped herself mid-step, eyes wide.
"Can I," she said, suddenly polite in the most suspicious way, "hold your hand. Just for mana balance."
I looked at Elise.
Elise's jaw tightened. "If you want to."
That was the closest Elise had ever come to "yes" without exploding.
I nodded slowly. "Hand is okay."
Rika squealed like she'd won a war.
She took my hand with both of hers, warm and soft, and immediately leaned into my arm like she belonged there. Tail swishing behind her like it was celebrating too.
My heart went stupid.
The system chimed.
TEMPTATION EVENT: HAND HOLDING
RESIST FOR XP
TIP: YOU CAN ALSO JUST ENJOY IT, IDIOT
Rika grinned up at me. "Ren. Your hand is warm."
I swallowed. "Thanks."
Rika squeezed gently. "Can I rub your thumb. It's comforting."
Elise muttered, "Two touches max."
Rika pouted at Elise, then looked back at me with big innocent eyes that were absolutely not innocent.
"Please," she said.
I nodded once.
Rika rubbed her thumb over mine slowly, and my brain turned into static.
Yuki clicked her tongue. "Time. Next."
Rika whined like she was dying, then gave my hand a tiny kiss without warning.
The candle flickered.
Rika froze.
"Sorry," she blurted. "I did not ask."
The candle steadied after a beat, as if accepting the apology.
Elise's voice went sharp. "No surprises."
Rika held her hands up. "No more. I swear."
Then she skipped away, happy, like she'd just stolen a piece of me and put it in her pocket.
Next was Kaori.
She approached like a shy ghost, cheeks red, hands trembling.
"I… I don't want to overwhelm you," she whispered.
"You're not," I said, softly.
Kaori's eyes went shiny.
She held out a charm, then hesitated, then instead gently touched my sleeve, like even that was a big move for her.
"Can I," she whispered, "fix your collar."
My collar was still wrong from my backwards shirt moment. I wanted to die.
"Yes," I said.
Kaori stepped closer, careful, and her fingers adjusted my collar with tiny movements. Her knuckles brushed my skin once and she flinched like she'd been struck by lightning.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"You're fine," I whispered back.
Kaori swallowed hard.
Then, in a voice so small it almost didn't exist, she said, "May I… kiss your cheek. Just once. Like a blessing."
Elise's head snapped up.
Sofia smirked.
Freya's eyes widened like she respected the boldness.
Yuki hovered her pen.
I looked at Kaori. She looked like she might faint.
I nodded.
Kaori rose onto her toes and kissed my cheek so lightly it was almost just warmth.
The candle glow stayed steady.
Kaori stumbled back, face completely red, then hid behind her basket like it was a fortress.
Yuki wrote something down. "Cheek kiss. Approved. Next."
Sofia stepped forward like a predator walking into a lounge.
"Ren," she said, voice velvet. "You look tense."
"I'm always tense," I admitted.
Sofia smiled slowly. "Good. That means I can fix it."
Elise immediately stepped closer.
Sofia held up her hands. "Verbal first. I consent to touch only his shoulders. Two touches. No lower."
The candle stayed steady.
I swallowed. "Okay."
Sofia's hands landed on my shoulders, warm and firm through my shirt. She squeezed once, and my soul nearly exited.
Not because it was dirty. Because it was confident.
"You carry stress here," she murmured, thumbs pressing lightly at the base of my neck. "And here."
I made a pathetic sound.
Sofia leaned closer, lips near my ear, voice low.
"Good boy," she whispered again.
My knees almost folded.
Elise choked like it physically hurt her to hear it.
Rika squealed in the background like she was watching a sport.
The system chimed violently.
CRITICAL WEAKNESS: PRAISE
RESIST FOR XP
WARNING: YOU ARE MELTING
Sofia pulled back just enough to look at my face.
"You're adorable," she said.
I blurted, "Stop."
Sofia blinked, then laughed softly. "Oh. He refused. That's hot too."
The candle glow warmed, approving of the refusal.
XP GAINED: 20
Sofia lifted her hands, stepping away like she was generous.
"Next time," she murmured.
I didn't know what that meant and I hated that my brain wanted to find out.
Freya stepped forward like a festival itself.
She had pastries. She had confidence. She had a grin that screamed trouble.
"Ren," she said, sweet, "I want a stamp."
Elise snapped, "No neck stamps."
Freya blinked innocently. "Who said neck."
Elise's eyes narrowed. "You were thinking it."
Freya laughed. "Fine. Hand kiss."
She reached for my hand.
I looked at Elise.
Elise glared at Freya like she wanted to set her on fire, then looked at me.
"If you want," Elise said, through her teeth.
I nodded because I was a doomed man.
Freya took my hand and kissed my knuckles, slow and warm, then looked up at me with bright eyes.
"You taste like panic," she teased.
"I don't taste," I said.
Freya grinned. "Not yet."
Elise made a sound of suffering.
Yuki slapped the time. "Next."
Charlotte stepped forward like a queen claiming her turn.
"I consent to a dance," she said smoothly. "Public. Hands only."
The candle glow stayed steady.
"A dance," I repeated.
Charlotte smiled. "It's romantic. It's safe. It makes people stop shouting."
The market had a small dance circle nearby, musicians playing something soft and sweet.
Charlotte took my hand, placed my other hand carefully where it was appropriate, and guided me into the rhythm like she was teaching a nervous animal how to walk.
"You're doing well," she murmured.
My face heated. "I'm not."
"You are," she said. "You're looking at me. That's already brave."
I swallowed. "You're… very pretty."
Charlotte's smile softened, genuinely pleased.
"That's better," she whispered.
Then she leaned in and kissed my forehead.
A quick, clean kiss.
Like a claim. Like a blessing. Like a threat.
The candle stayed steady.
Elise looked like she might explode anyway.
Yuki called time again, and Charlotte released me with perfect grace.
Mira's turn was next, and somehow she made it worse without even trying.
"I consent to two touches," she said calmly. "One on his wrist, one on his cheek. For grounding."
The candle stayed steady.
Mira took my wrist gently, thumb on my pulse, exactly where Elise usually held me.
Elise's eyes narrowed instantly.
Then Mira lightly touched my cheek, as if checking my temperature, and murmured, "You're overheating. Drink water."
I nodded, dazed. "Yes."
Mira smiled politely. "Good boy."
Sofia hissed, "Hey. That's my spell."
Mira replied calmly, "It's a common phrase."
Elise looked between them like she wanted to arrest language.
Then Yuki stepped forward.
"My turn," she said brightly.
Elise snapped, "No."
Yuki lifted her clipboard. "I'm the facilitator. I need a sample too. For fairness."
Elise looked like she wanted to die.
Yuki leaned toward me, eyes glittering.
"I consent to one whisper," she said. "No touch."
The candle glow stayed steady.
Yuki leaned close to my ear and whispered, playful and sharp.
"I can still smell Freya's ribbon on you."
I nearly died on the spot.
Elise's head snapped toward me like she'd heard gunfire.
My system chimed like it was laughing itself sick.
HINT EVENT: PAST MISCHIEF DETECTED
WARNING: PALADIN JEALOUSY SPIKE
TIP: RUNNING IMPOSSIBLE
Elise grabbed my wrist so hard the chain clinked.
"We are done," Elise snapped.
Rika wailed, "But I didn't get a second turn!"
Freya laughed, "He's overheating, paladin."
Sofia smirked, "Let him melt."
Charlotte tilted her head, amused. "You're holding him tight."
Elise's cheeks went bright red.
"I am holding him," Elise hissed, "because he will faint."
I whispered, "I'm not fainting."
Elise leaned in so only I could hear.
"You have a lipstick mark," she whispered, furious, "and a ribbon, and you are smiling at everyone."
"I'm not smiling," I whispered.
Elise's eyes dropped to my mouth.
"You are," she whispered.
The chain tugged again, pulling us closer by accident, and for one ridiculous second Elise's palm pressed flat against my chest like she was steadying me.
My heart went insane.
Elise's breath caught.
The candle flickered once, like it knew we were playing with fire.
Elise yanked her hand back like she'd been burned.
Then she grabbed the Consent Candle off the booth counter and shoved it into my hands.
"Drink water," she ordered. "Now."
I drank water.
Mostly because she told me to, and my body obeyed her voice like it was a command spell.
The harem gathered around anyway, shameless and smiling, all of them glowing with the kind of affection that felt like a swarm.
Rika linked her arm through mine carefully this time. "Ren, can we walk. Just walk."
Kaori nodded quickly. "Walking is safe."
Mira adjusted her glasses. "Walking reduces incidents."
Freya grinned. "Walking increases opportunities."
Sofia smiled. "Everything increases opportunities."
Charlotte held out her hand again, calm and possessive. "Come."
And Elise, still tethered to me, still blushing, still furious, stepped forward like a doomed guardian.
"Fine," Elise snapped. "We walk. All of you. In a line. No grabbing. No ambushes. No sudden kissing."
Freya raised a hand. "What about accidental brushing."
Elise glared. "No."
Freya smiled. "So yes."
Elise looked like she might cry.
We moved through the lantern-lit market like a romantic parade.
Hands brushing. Fingers stealing brief contact. Compliments flying like arrows.
And every time my cheeks heated, every time my breath caught, every time my eyes flicked to someone's smile, the system chimed like it was eating popcorn.
XP UP. XP UP. XP UP.
Because in Lustra, the hero's suffering was public entertainment.
And apparently, so was his dating life.