EXT. ALLEY BEHIND PADDY'S — DAY
Wall Maria looms over the narrow alley. It is brick, chipped, and uneven.
LIAM and RYAN McPOYLE stand before it. They are holding a milk crate that has been reinforced with duct tape, rusted rebar, and what looks like parts from a shopping cart. It is a makeshift battering ram.
LIAM McPOYLE(whispering)
Attack.
They charge. The crate SLAMS into the brick. A dull, heavy thud echoes. Milk sloshes out of the crate, coating the bricks in a white, fatty film. They stumble back, panting.
RYAN McPOYLE
Again.
They charge again. Harder. The wall groans.
LIAM McPOYLE
Again.
INT. PADDY'S PUB — SAME TIME
A loud CRACK echoes through the room. A single brick pops out of Wall Maria and skitters across the floor.
FRANK
What the fuck was that?!
DEE (screaming, pointing)
THE WALL!
FRANK (yelling, shocked)
MARIA IS BREAKING!
A hole the size of a dinner plate opens. A face pushes through. It is RICKETY CRICKET, covered in gray dust and white asbestos fibers. He looks like a gargoyle birthed from a construction site.
CRICKET
Oh, hey guys.
FRANK
What the FUCK are you doing in Maria?!
CRICKET
Well, funny story...
FLASHBACK CUT TO: PADDY'S ROOFTOP — MOMENTS AGO
Cricket is dancing across the roof, his arms loose and spindly. He is muttering to himself in a rhythmic chant.
CRICKET
Gonna rob Paddy's Pub, gonna steal all their shit 'cause the McPoyles gave me fruit and—
The roof gives way under his feet. He drops into the wall cavity with a sickening thud.
BACK TO: INT. PADDY'S PUB
Cricket is stuck in the wall. His legs are dangling somewhere near the basement.
CRICKET(accepting)
So, this is it. This is how I die. In a wall. Of a bar. Sounds about right.
DENNIS
Cricket, why does your face look all... gargoyle?
CRICKET
Oh, that's the asbestos. You guys should REALLY get the bar checked out. It is LOADED. I think there's lead in the walls too. I can taste the history. It's sweet.
CUT TO BLACK.