Gohan wasn't really for sure what to think of the last few days.
When his daddy had told him that they were going to meet some friends of his Gohan had been excited and a little scared and then excited again. He never got to leave their home and the forest around it and his father had said that Kame House was completely different from their home… and it was! It was an island, in the middle of the ocean, with sand and grass and a turtle! One that could talk! It had been so amazing.
And then Uncle Roshi had taken him inside because some mean man who apparently didn't like his daddy had shown up and Gohan hadn't known what to do. He'd begun to cry and he hated that because he knew that he was being a baby and desperately wanted to be a big boy. Big and strong and tough like his daddy. His daddy wouldn't have cried! He would have punched whatever scared him!
Aunt Bulma had tried to keep his mind off his worry but he hadn't calmed down until his daddy had returned… but he'd been so hurt. It was like every booboo that Gohan had ever gotten had been put on him all at once! And there had been Mr. Piccolo, who looked really scary but didn't actually do anything, and Mr. Kayos who had seemed nice and had the funny robot and made sure to get him food and treats while his daddy introduced him to Uncle Krillin and Uncle Tien and Uncle Chiaotzu.
After that things had gone rather quickly. He'd been surprised after they'd returned home, expecting that either his mommy would make him stay while his daddy got to continue having a fun adventure or at least yell at them but finally let him to go. But instead she not only had agreed she'd decided to come… and it was really fun!
Now though? Now they were walking through some tunnel with a bunch of people in funny outfits pointing spears at them and Gohan had no idea what to do.
He just hoped that his mom and dad would keep him safe.
~MC~MC~MC~
'Dear lord we've been kidnapped by yuppies,' I thought to myself as we were all led through the tunnels.
At first I had been startled and terrified when I'd felt the spear touch my throat. This was the world of Dragon Ball, after all, so who knew what vile, wild, savage, monstrous beings we'd stumbled onto. Savage demons? Blood thirsty wolf men? A lost tribe of purple humans who craved flesh? With Dragon Ball you could NEVER be sure because this was the reality that had brought about the living nightmare fuels called Buu and Cell.
I had been startled and terrified.
At first.
Then I had seen their dirty Hawaiian shirts, their wide brim floppy hats, slightly torn cargo shorts, and flip flops and realized that we were being taken captive by tourists.
…yaaaaaaaay.
"Come on guys, we were just enjoying a nice camping trip!" Goku complained, hands held up in the air. I wasn't sure WHY he hadn't just wiped the floor with all of them as I could tell that their power levels were weaker than mine. But no, Goku was going along with this, allowing them to lead us all by spear point into the… well, surprisingly roomy and well-lit tunnels. Like… freakily well lit tunnels. Honestly my apartment didn't have as good lighting.
'Wait… where the hell do I even live?' I thought to myself as I walked towards the large opening at the end of the tunnel.
"Quiet!" one of our kidnappers stated. He was wearing a misprinted t-shirt that said "I'm With Stupid" in English with an arrow pointed up and had a pair of cracked binoculars dangling around his neck. "You have intruded on the sacred lands of the mighty Dragon Lord and will now answer for your crimes!"
"Now hold on!" Chichi protested. "This is a National Park, free for anyone to visit!"
"No longer!" another of our kidnappers, a middle-aged woman wearing a hideously pink shirt and boat shoes with knee-high white socks declared in an overly dramatic tone. "The Dragon Lord has corrected that injustice and returned these lands to their rightful ruler: him! You will submit to his judgment or you will face punishment." To prove her point she pressed the spear into the small of Goku's back.
"Okay, okay, take it easy!" Goku said, keeping his hands up.
"Goku…" Chichi hissed under her breath. "Why are you allowing them to do this?"
"The Dragon Ball is around here, right? Makes sense that someone named the Dragon Lord would have it. This way, rather than having to sneak around, we can just be taken right to him and see if we can have it!"
That… actually made a ton of sense, much to my own surprise.
The chamber we found ourselves guided to should have been a thing of beauty. A great natural dome with high ceilings and glittering stone that reflected the light all around us and made it feel like we were surrounded by starlight or fireflies.
Instead it was a gaudy mess thanks to the random bits of furniture thrown about, tents that had been patched and pitched, and all manner of tacky tourist souvenirs that were piled up all around us.
At the center of it all was a great Iron Throne of suitcases, upon which sat the Dragon Lord himself, surrounded by about 30 tourists/servants.
'Well, I know whose been eating all the snacks in the rest area vending machines,' I thought to myself. Though he wore a bone crown and had on a red and black half mask that looked like a dragon snout he wasn't able to cut that impressive of a figure. The rings he wore were large and gaudy and clearly costume jewelry, the necklaces he wore just a collection of ref whistles, and the red and orange and yellow abstract style shirt he wore did little hiding the man's large gut, his flabby arms, and wobbly chest. 'God his tits bounce more than most anime girls'!'
"Hommer, Wrunch," the Dragon Lord declared in a gravely voice that must have hurt his throat terribly because I could tell it was him trying to make it sound far more raspy than it actually was. He reached out and accepted from one of his attendants (a thin woman with a bit of sunscreen globbed on her nose) a 2 liter of cola that he took a long swig of before continuing. "Who have you brought to this sacred chamber?"
"We found these intruders trying to claim part of your kingdom," the man said with a bow.
"Ah, so thieves then!" The Dragon Lord declared. "Trying to stake claim to my lands!"
"We were doing no such thing!" Chichi snapped back. "We were camping… in a National Park… and then your goons came and captured us."
"As is there right! This land belongs to me! It is my right as the lord of this lands! They are my kingdom and-"
"Wait," Goku said, cutting him off, "how can this be a kingdom if you aren't a king?"
"What?"
"Well… I just mean that an Emperor has an empire and a king has a kingdom so shouldn't you have a… lorddom?"
"No. it is a kingdom!"
"But you aren't a king," Goku said again.