Of course, it had to be them, like it's just my luck.
There they were, four girls I barely survived lunch with now planted across an expensive leather couch like it was the cover of a rich-girl drama.
Yuki was already glaring at me like she was calculating where to bury my body.
Nao, bless her loud soul, leapt to her feet and practically screamed:
"YAY! It's Souta! This is the BEST!"
Her voice echoed through the entire penthouse hallway. Like a fire alarm, but cuter, and something you would want to hear, unlike a fire alarm.
Reina and Arisa both gave me restrained smiles. The kind that said "cool seeing you, but… Why are you in our house?"
Especially Arisa, who had that same playful smirk from school. I could already hear her voice whispering in my ear:
"Win over Yuki and we can hang out more."
"Well at least i have a shot of winning over Yuki…?" I thought, my eyes turning to the girl staring right back at me.
Her eyes locked onto mine like twin death beams.
"She's gonna kill me. This is it. Death by thigh-highs and parental disappointment."
The old butler, completely unbothered, gave a polite bow and addressed the girls.
"Ladies, this is your new personal assistant. Mr. Kannazuki will be assisting you with household duties."
"You just introduced me like I'm an anime transfer student."
Before I could blink, he was gone, like a teleporting NPC in a visual novel.
Now it was just me… And four girls who'd probably vote me off the island if this were a reality dating show.
Stay cool, Souta. Channel your inner protagonist, think like your Ayonokouji.
I straightened my back and gave a nervous smile.
"Uhhh hey, everyone! From today onward, I'll be your caretaker slash assistant… So, uhh, let's get along!"
Cue the world's most awkward laugh.
Yuki stood up.
Grabbed her phone.
And dialed faster than a girl canceling her Tinder date.
"I'm calling Dad. He's getting rid of you. Now."
Panic hit like a freight train.
"W-Wait wait wait! Yuki, come on! That whole boob-incident thing was an accident! A total accident! I'm here to work, I swear, I'll be the best damn maid you've ever seen! Just give me a chance!"
"...."
"Dad. There's a pervert in our apartment."
SHE IGNORED! ME HEART FELT CRY, HOW CRUEL!
"No I'm not!" I replied with fear lingering all of my voice
"He literally fell on my chest two days ago."
"Okay, technically true, BUT!"
And then a warm, deep voice rang through the phone speaker.
"Yuki, dear. Calm down. I actually know this boy's late mother quite well."
Everyone froze.
Even Yuki blinked in confusion.
"She helped me during… A very difficult time. So I'm returning the favor to her son."
"Wait what?" I whispered.
The voice chuckled.
"Besides the whole boob pillow thing, he doesn't seem like a creep. Right?"
Yuki: "YES."
Me: "NO."
We shouted in perfect unison.
A pause.
And then:
"Hahahaha! Sounds like you two are getting along already."
"Thank you, sir! I mean-Dad! Uh, wait, no-not Dad-I meant, thank you… Sir!" I stammered, throwing a fist into the air in relief.
Yuki hung up in pure rage, muttering:
"PERVERT. STAY AWAY FROM MY ROOM."
She stormed out of the living room, her footsteps like angry thunder.
Nao waved at me cheerfully.
"Welcome to the team, Souta! I vote you get the big apron~!"
Reina offered a polite nod.
Arisa crossed her legs, glasses catching the light just enough to make her smirk look villainous.
"Looks like we're roommates now, Mr. Assistant. Try not to mop yourself into a corner."
And just like that… I'd survived Day Zero.
Souta Kannazuki, welcome to hell. A hell with perfect lighting, velvet cushions, and four girls who might ruin your life… Or change it forever, etc, but as long as I kept this job, I guess it's just what I've got to deal with.
"And this is… The laundry. Or was it the pantry? Anyway, you'll figure it out!"
Nao twirled around like she was giving a tour of Disneyland, except every room looked like it hadn't been touched by a vacuum in years.
If she weren't this cute, I'd have rage-quit this tour five rooms ago, call me a weirdo or a creepy I don't care beauty, let's you get away with these types of things!
I looked around the penthouse again, gorgeous, sure. Luxurious? Yeah. But as I actually started seeing past the velvet cushions and crystal vases...
It hit me.
This place was a disaster.
Not a mess. Not cluttered.
An apocalypse.
Clothes flung over furniture. Dishes stacked like towers. Lipsticks uncapped. A bra on the doorknob.
A bra. On. The. Doorknob.
I thought rich girls were clean. Guess I was wrong. I am the dumass who thought that.
"...Nao," I said slowly, as my eyes were lifted from the veil of hot chicks.
She turned with a cautious smile, already sensing where I was going.
"Yeeees?"
I folded my arms like an overworked dad on cleaning day.
"Do none of you know how to pick up after yourselves?"
Her head swivelled away, sheepishly avoiding my eyes.
"I-I mean… I know how, but like… I've got other more important things to do ya know?
"HEY!"
Sensing she wasn't really helping herself, Nao tried to flee the crime scene.
"Stop right there," I grabbed her hoodie collar like a dog on a leash. "No running until you answer."
She flailed like a noodle.
"I'm SORRY! We're just lazy, okay?!"
She yanked herself free with unexpected force, flinging me forward like a sack of shame. And that's when it happened.
She tried to catch me.
She tried.
Which, in hindsight, might've been worse.
My hands landed on her shoulders. Her balance tipped. And the next thing I knew.
Boom.
We landed. I was on top.
Not in a weird way.
Except it was totally weird.
Her face. Right under mine. Her eyes were wide. Her lips… Half an inch from mine.
Breathing shallow. I smelled… Pizza. Definitely pepperoni.
Time froze.
For a split second, I felt it.
Could she…? No. No way. Could she…?
"AHHHHHH!" We both screamed and scrambled away like we'd just been caught in a sacred ritual.
My heart was doing cartwheels. Hers, too, probably.
I looked at her, ready to beg for forgiveness before she added my name to the "Yuki Kill List."
But then-
"I'm calling the cops!" A Voice shouted.
My eyes quickly turned to where the voice came from, and I saw her. For the love of god, why her?
Yuki.
Descending from upstairs like judgment day, phone in hand, fury in her eyes.
"You beast! You PERVERT! YOU MONSTER! You tackled her and tried to kiss her, didn't you!?"
Someone call the Academy, this girl's acting deserves an Oscar, and damn, three insults for one mistake, something isn't adding up?!
"N-no! It was an accident!" I said, waving my hands like a malfunctioning robot.
Nao stood up and calmly brushed herself off. She touched her lip gently, then smiled.
"No! Yuki, it was my fault. He slipped. I tried to catch him… Kind of failed."
Yuki's jaw dropped.
"Don't tell me you LET him fall on you!? With those pizza lips!? Are you insane!?"
Arisa and Reina appeared at the top of the stairs.
Arisa leaned on the railing, smirking like a queen watching a peasants brawl.
Reina blinked. Said nothing. But her eyes lingered on me for just a second too long.
Oh god. Did she see the whole thing?
Yuki stomped down and pointed like a judge handing out a life sentence.
"This is strike two, creep. You don't get a third one."
Please don't let the third one be walking in on laundry day.
I bowed instinctively, graciously accepting such kindness from the pricella wanna be.
"Understood, ma'am. Won't happen again."
Nao giggled. Again… Would be annoyed, but the whole beauty thing plays into me ignoring that…
"Whew! That was fun! Wanna finish the tour?" She said, like she hadn't just started an international scandal.
I might, just might survive this job. Barely. If I don't die from embarrassment first.
Yuki stomped off after branding me a menace to society. Nao twirled back into her tornado energy like nothing happened.
I stood there blinking, waiting for the cops to actually show up.
Arisa had already disappeared upstairs.
But Reina… lingered.
She descended the last few steps slowly, quietly.
She walked past me, barely making a sound. I expected nothing. She never said much, anyway. Just a gentle breeze of a girl.
But as she passed, she stopped for just a second, close enough that I could smell her shampoo. Cherry blossom or something expensive.
She tilted her head slightly.
Her eyes didn't meet mine.
But her lips moved.
"You're such a rascal."
Soft. Barely audible.
Then she kept walking, vanishing into the hallway like it didn't happen.
I stood frozen.
Huh…? Did she just…?
My brain short-circuited.
And from the top of the stairs, just before Arisa turned the corner, I caught her looking down.
She gave a look.
Before disappearing into her room.