The silence following my threat to Investigator Vane was delicious. It was the kind of silence you only get when a room full of people realizes the person they were about to bully just grew a very sharp set of teeth.
But of course, the universe or the plot of this trashy novel couldn't let me enjoy it for long.
The heavy oak doors of the drawing room didn't just open; they practically exploded inward.
"Seraphina! How dare you threaten my officials!"
I didn't even have to turn around. That voice. It was like a choir of angels if every one of those angels was a condescending frat boy.
Crown Prince Julian von Heiron. My supposed fiancé. The man who, in the original story, watches my execution with a look of "bored disappointment."
He strode into the room, his white cape billowing behind him. He was unfairly handsome gold hair, blue eyes, and a jawline that could probably cut glass. But all I saw was a massive, walking liability.
[ DING! ]
[ Target Identified: Crown Prince Julian ]
[ Financial Integrity: 42/100 ]
[ Assessment: Spoiled Asset. High maintenance, low ROI. ]
I nearly snorted. Low ROI (Return on Investment). The System and I were going to get along just fine.
"Julian," I said, not bothering to curtsy. I stayed seated, leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. The fabric of my dress hissed against the chair. "You're late. And you're shouting. It's very bad for the acoustics in here."
Julian stopped mid-stride. His eyes widened. The "old" Seraphina would have been on her knees by now, sobbing about her innocence and begging for a kiss.
"Did you... did you just address me by my name?" he stammered. "Without a title?"
"Names are free, Julian. Unlike that sapphire." I pointed a manicured finger at the fake gem still sitting on the table. "Your investigator here tried to frame me with a piece of alchemical glass. I'd be offended if it weren't so pathetic. Who's running your security? A pack of trained squirrels?"
"It was found in your room!" Julian roared, his face turning a shade of pink that matched my curtains. "The Saintess Evelyn saw you lurking near the Treasury herself!"
Ah, there it was. The "Saintess" card.
"Evelyn saw me, did she?" I stood up slowly. I was shorter than him, but I spent ten years staring down CEOs who tried to hide offshore accounts; a twenty-year-old Prince didn't scare me. "Tell me, Julian, does Evelyn have X-ray vision? Because that 'sapphire' was allegedly inside a lead-lined jewelry box, inside a locked drawer, inside my private chambers."
I took a step toward him, my eyes locked on his.
"Either she was trespassing in my bedroom, or she's a liar. Which one is it? Because as an auditor, I find 'eyewitness testimony' to be the lowest form of evidence especially when the witness is someone who wants my title."
[ DING! ]
[ Quest Progress: 75% ]
[ Warning: Target 'Julian' is experiencing 'Ego-Fracture.' ]
"You... you're different," Julian whispered. He looked at me as if I'd suddenly sprouted a second head. "You're usually so... loud. Emotional. Annoying."
"I grew up," I lied smoothly. "And I realized that crying doesn't fix a balance sheet. Now, if you're done accusing me of petty theft, I have work to do. My father's estate is hemorrhaging money, and I suspect your 'officials' have been skimming off the top of our trade taxes for years."
I picked up a pen from the desk and twirled it between my fingers.
"Vane," I called out without looking at the investigator. "If you and your men aren't out of my house in sixty seconds, I'm sending a formal request to the High Court for a full audit of your department. And I'll start with your gambling tabs at the Golden Griffin."
Vane didn't wait. He scrambled out of the room so fast he tripped over his own cape. The guards followed like kicked dogs.
Julian stayed, frozen. He looked at the fake sapphire, then back at me. For the first time, I saw a flicker of something that wasn't disgust in his eyes. It was curiosity.
"This isn't over, Seraphina," he said, though his voice lacked its earlier bite.
"I certainly hope not," I smiled, and for the first time, it was a real, predatory grin. "I haven't even looked at your Royal Budget yet. I hear the military spending is... fascinatingly bloated."
Julian turned and left, but his footsteps were slower this time. Less certain.
[ DING! ]
[ Quest Complete: The First Audit! ]
[ Rewards: 500 System Points, +10 Integrity, 1x 'Beginner's Ledger' (Legendary Grade). ]
[ New Title Acquired: 'The Cold Accountant' ]
I collapsed back into my chair, my heart finally starting to race. It had worked. The "Face-slapping" had worked. But I knew this world—Evelyn wouldn't take this lying down.
I looked at the golden screen floating in front of me.
"Alright, System," I whispered. "Let's see what 500 points can buy me. If I'm going to survive this novel, I'm going to need more than just a sharp ton