The last thing I remembered was the screech of subway brakes and the smell of ozone. I had been clutching a 400-page tax audit for a corrupt senator, thinking that if I didn't get to the office by 9:00 AM, my boss would kill me.
Technically, the train killed me instead.
"Lady Seraphina? Are you... quite alright? You've been staring at that sapphire for ten minutes."
I blinked. The subway was gone. My sensible gray suit was gone. My lukewarm Starbucks was gone.
Instead, I was sitting in a chair carved from ivory, draped in enough crimson velvet to clothe a small army. My hands soft, pale, and manicured to a lethal point were holding a sapphire the size of a pigeon's egg.
"My Lady?"
I looked up. A middle-aged man in a waist-length wig was hovering over me. Behind him stood two guards in silver plate armor.
Armor?
Then, a sudden, violent surge of memories slammed into my brain. It felt like someone was trying to download a hard drive into a floppy disk. Names, faces, and one terrifying realization: I was in the world of The Saint's Silver Path, a romance novel I'd read to kill time during my commutes.
And I wasn't the Saint.
I was Seraphina von Astrea. The daughter of a Duke, a woman known for a temper like a forest fire and a brain like a goldfish. In precisely three months, the Crown Prince would sentence me to death for "The Great Treasury Embezzlement."
"I asked you a question, Lady Seraphina," the man said, his voice dropping into a cold, official tone. "This sapphire was found in your jewelry box. It matches the inventory of the Royal Gift Chamber. How do you explain this?"
The guards stepped forward.
My heart hammered against my ribs not with the fluttering fear of a maiden, but with the cold, calculated rage of a woman who had spent fifteen years dealing with white-collar criminals.
Someone is framing me. And they're doing a sloppy job of it.
I opened my mouth to shout, but a chime rang in my head as clear as a crystal glass being struck by a spoon.
[ DING! ]
[ IRS Soul-Sync Complete. ]
[ Initializing the Divine Audit System... ]
A translucent golden screen floated in the air before me. The man in the wig didn't seem to see it.
[ Host: Seraphina von Astrea ]
[ Current Status: 'Caught Red-Handed' (Fraudulent) ]
[ Note: Your books are a mess. It's embarrassing, really. ]
Who are you calling embarrassing? I snapped internally.
[ Active Skill Unlocked: Auditor's Eye (Level 1) ]
[ Description: Reveal the 'True Value' and 'Source' of any asset. ]
I looked at the sapphire in my hand. Suddenly, the blue stone glowed with a faint red light. Text appeared floating over it:
[ Asset: Blue Star Sapphire ]
[ Estimated Value: 5,000 Gold Crowns ]
[ Reality Check: FAKE. ]
[ Composition: Infused Glass and Alchemical Pigment. ]
[ Original Source: The workshop of 'Barnaby the Forger' – Commissioned 3 days ago. ]
A slow, dangerous smile spread across my face. The guards paused, looking confused. Usually, the "old" Seraphina would have screamed, thrown a vase, or fainted.
I didn't do any of those things. I stood up, my heavy silk skirts whispering against the stone floor.
"You say this was stolen from the Royal Treasury?" I asked, my voice calm and sharp.
"Indeed," the official sneered. "The Prince himself noticed its absence."
"Then the Prince is either blind or an idiot," I said.
The room went silent. Someone gasped. I stepped toward the official, holding the 'gem' up to the light.
"This isn't a sapphire. It's alchemical glass. Cheap, tacky, and forged within the last seventy-two hours. Tell me, Sir... what was your name again?"
"I am High Investigator Vane!"
"Right. Investigator Vane. Tell me, if I'm the one who stole the real gem, why would I replace it with a fake that's so easy to identify? Unless..." I leaned in, my eyes narrowing. "Unless the person who 'found' it is the one who put it there to hide the fact that the real stone is already sold."
[ DING! ]
[ Target Identified: High Investigator Vane ]
[ Financial Integrity: 15/100 ]
[ Hidden Debt: 12,000 Gold Crowns (Gambling) ]
I laughed. It was a cold, brittle sound.
"Twelve thousand crowns is a lot of gambling debt for a government official, Vane. I wonder... if I audit your personal ledgers, will I find the 'Blue Star' there?"
Vane's face turned the color of spoiled milk. He took a step back, his hand trembling. "This is this is slander! Guards! Arrest her!"
"Touch me," I said, my voice dropping to a whisper that echoed in the hall, "and I'll make sure the King sees the receipts for your last three trips to the Underground Casino. I'm an Accountant, Vane. We don't just find the bodies; we find the shovels."
[ Quest Alert: The First Audit ]
[ Status: Progress 50%... ]
I wasn't going to die in three months. I was going to make this entire kingdom wish they'd never heard the word 'taxes.'