It was the fifth month of the twelfth year of the third century. I had been in the queen's service for two months when she recommended one of her books to me.
— These are books I brought from my country. For now, begin with this one. I hope you will treasure it and return it to me when you have finished — she said. I nodded and returned to my room to read it while the queen attended to the king's summons.
— Lady Arteneses, dinner is at the door — Dana called to inside the room.
— Thank you, Lady Pilón — I said, and let her in so she could place the food on a table — You may rest.
— Wouldn't you like me to help you with your dress?
— That's adequate — I thought aloud to myself.
Once the woman loosened the laces of her corset, I let her know she could leave, but she refused, saying she had to take the dirty laundry with her. I took a quick bath and tried to eat dinner in a hurry, but I simply couldn't. I had to savor every last bite of the chicken in sweet sauce with pasta in cheese and the grape wine. Dessert was a lemon cake with tea.
I rinsed my mouth with salt water and went back to the living room to read "The Queen and the Soldier."
The title reminded me of Daís, who had never been gone so long on a campaign. So I took paper and ink to write him a letter. I gave it to Mrs. Pilón when she returned for the dirty dishes.
"Dear friend of mine, I hope everything goes excellently in your journey.
Are the nourishments sufficient and the shelters warm enough? May the gods bring you refuge from the enemies.
Some things have changed over here since the day you left and I only can hope for you to guard your life for we can have more adventures beyond the walls once you've returned. I've missed the weight of the sword between my hands and the excitement of running through the fields until we were out of breath.
I wish to know how far you've gone, but if it's forbidden to write it, do not, I only ask for the sake of curiosity.
Con Kerene Dotea Arteneses.
Quin Shivet Daís Mereng"
I decided to continue reading the book. "I dreamt that an inhuman, eyeless form devoured me, but I felt no pain, no reaction to this attack…" I continued reading for hours until I had to pull the covers up in bed to keep the cold from affecting my bones. "She seemed too wet, and I could hear her heart beating strongly, which made me want her even more. I devoured her moisture, brushing my fingers against her lips and caressing her flower with my mouth. Her moans of pleasure heightened my senses so much that my member became hard…"
I stopped abruptly when I heard hurried footsteps. I stood in silence, waiting to hear something more, but there was nothing. I put on my shoes and a warm robe and walked toward the queen's room. When I opened the door, I could hear more clearly what I thought were murmurs; I knew the queen was crying loudly, and I rushed to her side.
— Are you good? — I asked. I moved a little closer to the bed when I didn't get an answer. — What's troubling you?
— You don't have to be here! — she cried, burying her face in the pillow. Why would she be crying after her encounter with King Fortis? I wondered, trying to understand the reason for such inconsolable weeping — I want to die! — she screamed.
— Don't say such things! — I pleaded. I decided to climb onto the bed and hold her close to my chest, and I kept her like that while she wept.
— Thank you, Dotea — she sighed, pulling away from me.
— I can stay with you if you'd like.
— I don't need your pity. You're not obligated to...
— Yes, I am — I said, looking into her eyes. She lay down without taking her eyes off me — You're crying. I can't just leave you like this. How could I ignore your pain?
The queen looked at me for a few seconds and, without a word, turned her back to me. I tucked her in up to her shoulder and sat up, leaning my back against the headboard. I woke up when I heard the door open. It was Merana, who opened the curtains and began preparing the queen's bath — Queen Manady — I leaned in to speak softly in her ear — My queen, it's time to get up.
I helped her to her feet, holding her close, and handed her the robe Merana had brought me. Now I understood why I had to accompany her to lunch and make sure she got some fresh air. Because the queen was a frail woman.
I helped her into the bathtub and took a sponge from the drawers to start cleaning her back. — You haven't washed yourself; you should bathe — she said.
— I'll do it when I help you.
— You should do it now; there's enough room for both of us in the tub — After her bath, we changed into orange dresses and sat down to breakfast. — Are you feeling better? — I asked, even though her eyes were still red and swollen from crying.
— I feel better — she replied. The queen seemed to have her thoughts elsewhere.
— What is making you suffer so much? — I asked once more. I looked at her shoulders and chest to see if she had any marks.
— I thought he loved me — she said, gazing at the trees. I could see her eyes welling up with tears again — It's been a while since we were married, and we still haven't consummated the marriage. If I don't have a child by the time winter returns, the marriage could fall apart.
— I thought royalty married for life.
— Yes — she said — the life that will end will be mine. He can say I'm not fulfilling my duties as his wife and have me beheaded.
— I could help you — I said after a moment of silence — We can perform the fertility ceremony so the gods will place the seed in your womb. You must eat red fruits for a week before the ritual so Mother Earth will help you with fertility.
— I trust your gods do not wish me dead — she said with a forced smile, and we continued eating.
In those days, I noticed her attitude improving; she spoke more, smiled, and laughed more. She no longer seemed ill.
She began having more meetings with the royal court, which gave me time to visit my mother. I learned that she no longer worked in the kitchen and had started taking classes in painting restoration.
This, of course, did not surprise me because she used to paint many of the garments I wore or the family's vessels with dyes made from seeds or blood, a very common talent among the wives of leaders.
— How are my sister and brother? — I asked my mother. She was finishing one of her paintings by the bedroom window.
— Nayah is pregnant, but I can't tell you much about Atos. He's still on campaign with Daís — my mother said — They might not be back by winter.
— That's still a year away — I said. I'd been waiting for a reply to my letter for two weeks.
— We'll enter a new cycle with the abolition of slavery — my mother said. Just then, the lunch bell rang for the soldiers in training.
— Ei mishna geme, myrne - I have to go mother.
— Rer tas Myrne ts Morune qin esh - May the gods be with you — She blessed me.
Dana was waiting for me, standing in the middle of the room — The queen is looking forward to dining with you — she said, helping me remove my wet clothes — Did you hear about the new law? It seems the queen's presence is something to be grateful for.
Until that moment, I hadn't considered the influence Her Majesty wielded in the kingdom's affairs — Any response regarding the letter?
— No, my Lady.
When I arrived at her room, she was gazing out the window toward the garden. I ushered Merana in to serve dinner and closed the door behind her — The heavens rejoice in your deed.
— What did you say? — She approached to sit down to eat, and I sat down after her.
— It is said that rain is a good omen — I said.
— I heard your sister's story, Merana — she said. I put my fork down and looked up to meet her serious expression. She seemed to be waiting for a reaction from me — She was bought seven years ago by a man who took her as his wife after the attack on the Ames woods.
— She's trying to get her daughter back — I said — Is there anything we could do to…
— That's already been taken care of. I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to ask for my help and that I was so inaccessible — she said.
— Thank you for helping her — I said.
— About your late husband... Did he buy you too? — I lowered my gaze after confronting that memory — There are many things I don't know about you, but I want to know. I want us to be able to talk about anything, I want to be able to trust you, Dotea. Tell me, did you kill him?
— I wasn't going to let him touch me — I said. At that moment, I felt the urge to cough, but the pressure in my throat wouldn't let me. Taking a deep breath, I knew it was just me suppressing my urge to cry uncontrollably. I thought I didn't remember the nights in that dark room and the gray days tied to that rope. I couldn't bear the pressure in my chest, the emptiness in my stomach, and I shrank to the side of the chair to try to control the fear that was pouring out of my pores, out of my eyes.
— Come with me — she said and held me close to her chest until I stopped crying.
— I'm not a criminal — I said when we broke the embrace.
—No— she said, wiping my tears with both hands — You are a wounded woman, like me — she affirmed and hugged me again.