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Chapter 21 - I'm Ugly

"Why exactly are you here at this hour?" 

"Well, I brought some spices and herbs... and I cooked some food for you all. I thought we could eat together." 

Rayna stirred at the sound of voices. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, only to realize she was snuggled in Ezra's arms.

Ezra cracked one eye open lazily. "Sleep a little more," he murmured, pulling her closer.

Rayna frowned, still half-asleep. "Wait... that's Soren's voice. Who's he arguing with this early?"

"Yunxi," Ezra replied, his tone half amused, half sleepy.

"What? Why?"

"He showed up with food and called from outside," Ezra explained, a soft yawn escaping him. "Seriously I don't know who comes this early." "And well... Soren, being himself, is irritated that he came here at dawn. I'm too to be honest, but Soren went to drive him out."

Rayna sighed and sat up, her hair a wild mess from sleep. "I need to check it out," she mumbled, already climbing out and moving towards the entrance.

Rayna stepped out of the hut, still fixing her messy hair. "Hey... what's going on here?" she asked, her voice groggy but sharp enough to cut through the early morning air.

Soren immediately straightened up, almost looking guilty. "Love, why did you wake up so early? You usually don't."

Rayna narrowed her eyes at him. "Yeah, thanks to the loud voices of some people." Her pointed glare made Soren flinch, shoulders curling in like a scolded child.

Her gaze shifted to Yunxi, who stood there looking apologetic, holding a bundle of spices wrapped neatly in a broad leaf and a pot that smelled heavenly. 

"Hey, Yunxi," she said with a small smile. "You've brought food, pretty well. Could you wait inside? I'll just freshen up quickly with a quick dip in the river."

Yunxi quickly nodded, ears twitching. "No problem. I'm sorry I didn't know you're not an early riser..., I'm sorry I came at an odd time." He apologized with his ears drooped down.

Rayna acknowledged his apology. "It's alright."

Soren huffed but didn't argue.

Rayna turned back to him with one brow raised. "Well? Are you coming with me to the river or should I go alone?"

"...Let's go, love," Soren muttered meekly, clearly aware she was still annoyed.

By the time Rayna and Soren came back from the river, the soft morning sunlight had fully spread over the treetops.

Inside, Ezra was already awake, sitting cross‑legged on a woven mat. He glanced up at her, a teasing grin curling on his lips. "Sunshine! Finally done with your beauty routine?"

Rayna rolled her eyes but smiled.

In front of Ezra laid a few bamboo tubes cut open lengthwise, each one filled with steamed rice mixed with small, sweet forest fruits. The pale grains were dotted with splashes of yellow and red from the fruits, their fresh fragrance mingling with the faint, woody scent of bamboo.

Beside them, Yunxi held a carved bamboo cup, pouring warm water. It smelled sweet. A single small white forest flower floated on top, giving off a soft, calming scent—sweet, floral, and faintly fresh, like morning dew.

Rayna paused at the doorway, eyes widening slightly as she took in the scene. The gentle steam curling upward, Yunxi carefully arranging things, and Ezra sitting there watching with a faint, lazy smile. 

"Wow," she murmured softly, stepping inside, "what's all this?"

Yunxi, who had been waiting patiently, immediately brightened. "You're back! Just in time, it's ready."

"All of this... it's from my village," he said softly, placing the last bamboo cup down. "Back in my village, we always made food like this. It's simple, but comforting."

He pointed to the bamboo trays.

"This is fruit rice, we mix steamed rice with pieces of sweet fruits. It's light, but it fills you up."

Then he lifted one of the bamboo cups, the steam curling around his face.

"And this," he said, offering it to her, "we call Moonflower Honey Brew. It's just warm water with honey and a flower from the forest that blooms at night. It's supposed to calm you down and give you strength."

"Wait... rice?" Rayna's eyes widened, her face lighting up instantly.

"Where did you even find rice?"

Yunxi blinked at her enthusiasm, his fluffy ears twitching.

"Our village often trades it," he explained. "We grow rice back home, so I always carry some with me when I travel."

Just then, Soren added, glancing at the bamboo trays.

"Well, the sheep beastmen sell it here sometimes," he said casually, "but no one really eats much of it. It's too bland."

Rayna shook her head, half in disbelief and half in excitement. "Rice doesn't taste bland, you just have to know how to cook it properly."

Without waiting another second, she sat down, scooping up a portion of the fruit rice. She had been a little skeptical about how rice with fruits would taste, but the first bite made her eyes widen again. It was soft, lightly sweet from the fruits, and fragrant.

"Ohhh," she sighed happily, "this is so good!"

Then she picked up the bamboo cup, recognizing the warm, fragrant steam. "This is the same drink I had during the Nomei festival," she murmured. Taking a careful sip, she smiled—it was just as she remembered, only now with a delicate moonflower floating on top, adding a faint floral sweetness to the honey brew.

"Yunxi, I've noticed something," Rayna said as she set down her cup. "You cook really well. Seriously."

Yunxi's black fluffy ears twitched, and a shy smile tugged at his lips. "Really? Thank you. I thought it was just... decent enough."

"Whoever told you it's just decent is a fool," Rayna said firmly. "You cook so well."

Yunxi's smile softened, a hint of sadness but quickly masked with relief in his expression. "I'm glad you liked it, Rayna."

Ezra, already finishing his portion, chimed in, "Well, yeah... it's tasty."

Soren nodded in agreement. "Hm."

After the meal, Yunxi quickly began cleaning up the bamboo trays and cups, humming softly to himself.

"We need to go hunt today," Soren said as he stood, stretching. "It'll probably rain starting tomorrow."

Rayna glanced up at the sky through the trees—it was still sunny, but a faint haze of clouds was beginning to creep in from the distance.

"Okay, okay," she replied, brushing off her hands.

Before leaving, both Soren and Ezra paused at the doorway.

"Hey," Ezra said, looking back at her. "Why don't you go to the chief's hut today?"

"Why?" Rayna asked, tilting her head.

Soren crossed his arms. "I just don't like the idea of an unmated male hanging around you."

Rayna glanced back at Yunxi, who was still quietly tidying up, ears lowered in concentration. "Really? Him? He's weak and timid. Do you honestly think he can harm me? And besides, Soren, you know I'm not like ordinary females. I'm strong."

Ezra scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, Rayna, we understand, but still—"

"No buts." Rayna's glare was sharp enough to shut both of them up. "Now go. I'm not staying in the hut with him anyway. We'll just take a walk around the village. And honestly, with you two gone, I get really bored."

Soren exhaled slowly, defeated. "Fine. A walk in the village will be better."

Ezra nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, just... be careful."

"Don't worry. Now go," Rayna said with a small smile.

Both of them kissed her forehead before hugging her tight, reluctant to let go. As Soren stretched his wings, preparing to take flight, Ezra suddenly said, "Hey, maybe give me a lift to the village boundary?"

Soren frowned. "Why would I do that?"

"Because we're family now. Please, Soren—it'll be quicker."

Rayna raised a brow at him, amused.

Soren sighed dramatically. "Fine. But only because Rayna's watching."

In his beast form, he grabbed Ezra in a ridiculous, awkward way.

"Hey! Am I prey to you?!" Ezra shouted, flailing as they lifted off the ground.

Rayna laughed, watching them bicker and disappear into the sky. "Those two really are so entertaining."

Just as the sky swallowed the last glimpse of Soren and Ezra, Yunxi emerged from the hut, his arms full of neatly packed bundles of leaves, and a small pot. He blinked at Rayna, then bowed slightly, polite as ever.

"Okay, Rayna. I'll see you later," he said softly, turning to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Rayna called out.

"To my hut... and then maybe to the healer's hut," Yunxi replied without looking up, careful not to drop anything.

Rayna smiled and stepped closer. "Hey, can I come with you?"

He froze mid-step, ears twitching. "Y-You... want to accompany me? Really?"

The surprise in his voice made her chuckle.

"Yes," she said simply, reaching out to take some of the bundles from his arms. "Come on. Let's drop these off at your hut first, and then we'll head to the healer's hut together."

For a moment, Yunxi just stared at her, wide-eyed, before a shy, hesitant smile curved his lips. "Alright... let's go."

They walked side by side through the soft earth path, the leaves above rustling lightly as the breeze passed through. After leaving his bundles neatly stacked inside his hut, they set out again, heading toward the healer's place. Yunxi kept a respectful distance between them as they walked.

"So," Rayna asked, glancing at him as they walked, "what do you need from the healer?"

Yunxi replied, "I wanted to talk to him about... working as his assistant," he said honestly. "I used to help the healer in my village, so I thought maybe... I could do the same here. It'll keep me busy—and useful."

Rayna nodded, a warm smile tugging at her lips. "That's a good idea. From what I've seen you're well versed in herbs. I think you'd be great at it."

His round, fluffy ears twitched at her words, and he ducked his head, a faint smile on his face.

Yunxi and Rayna's footsteps crunched softly on the moist ground as they approached the healer's hut.

Outside, Rayna stopped, leaning lightly against the wooden frame of the doorway. She did not step in, but from where she stood she could hear everything.

Inside, the healer straightened slowly from his workbench, his hands stained green from the herbs. His golden eyes scanned Yunxi, and a faint smile tugged at his lips.

"Yunxi, you're healed now. I can see it."

Yunxi nodded quietly, his voice soft as a whisper.

"Yes, I am. I came... to ask you something."

The healer tilted his head curiously.

"And what is that?"

"Would you... take me in as your assistant?" Yunxi asked, hesitant, almost timid.

For a moment there was silence, then a loud, hearty laugh filled the hut.

"Work for an old beastman like me? You could be a healer on your own, lad. People will line up to come to you."

But Yunxi only shook his head, bowing low.

"Please. Teach me. I am still lacking. Please take me as your assistant."

The healer's amusement softened into surprise. His gaze lingered on the panda, searching his face. Then he sighed, shaking his head.

"Well... I don't know why you'd want to tie yourself to an old beastman like me, but fine. If that's what you want, we'll start after the wet season. Alright?"

Relief flooded Yunxi's face, it lit up like that of a joyful child.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" he said, bowing again.

The healer waved him off with a gruff smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Now go on, lad. Your mate is waiting outside."

Yunxi froze, a faint color rising in his cheeks.

"No! She's not—she's not my mate!" he stammered.

One of the healer's brows arched in question, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement as if asking,

Oh? Really?

In a world where the concept of being 'friends' between males and females didn't exist, the healer's tone carried more curiosity than mockery. But he let it go, turning back to his herbs.

"Fine then. Go on. I've got work to do."

Yunxi bowed once more and hurried out, his heart still pounding.

 "All good then?" Rayna asked.

Yunxi nodded.

They both took a walk in the village. After a while Rayna's feet hurt a bit so she suggested they sit near the river. 

The river whispered softly as it moved past them, its surface rippling with the faintest breeze. Yunxi and Rayna sat on the grass, a careful stretch of space left between them.

Above, the sky had grown heavier. Patches of grey clouds gathered slowly, swallowing the pale blue that remained.

Rayna tilted her head back, watching them roll in.

"Hm," she murmured, "so the wet season is almost here, huh?"

Yunxi followed her gaze, his silver eyes reflecting the dimming light.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "it'll be raining without pause soon."

Something in his tone carried a soft weight, and his gaze lingered on the clouds longer than it needed to, as if he wasn't really looking at them at all.

Rayna glanced sideways, catching that flicker of sadness on his face. After a moment, she broke the silence.

"Yunxi... can I ask you something?"

He blinked, pulling himself from his thoughts, and turned to her.

"Yes, Rayna. What is it?"

She hesitated just a fraction, then asked, "Why do you always stay in your beast form? I've never once seen you... you know, like as you really are, without your beastform." 

Yunxi stiffened, eyes widening for an instant.

"Huh? Well, actually..."

His voice trailed off.

"...I'm ugly."

Rayna blinked. "What?"

"I'm ugly," he repeated, a faint, humorless smile tugging at his lips as he kept his eyes on the river.

Rayna stared at him, stunned. That wasn't the answer she had expected. Something about the way he said it—the quiet conviction, saying as if it was a statement, the heaviness beneath those two words—made her heart tighten.

She could feel there was something deeper, something raw and unspoken, behind those simple words. And she wanted to know more...

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