The moment I walked into the office Master Garos indicated, I stopped right in the doorway. Ahead, behind a desk, sat her… the one I was quietly afraid of. In general, there are only two beings in the world I'm truly afraid of. Mom—and…
"Shade."
"Master Tsikuna. I, um… sorry…" I bow. This woman managed not only to earn my respect, but to become a hard authority figure. And I didn't even understand how… she just knew how to find an approach. The calm she radiated soothed; her power forced respect; and a dash of mischief added positive notes that made me think of Mom.
"Hm?" She tilted her head. "Ah—no, come in," she waved, putting some parts of a device I didn't recognize into the desk. I got curious and stepped closer.
"I'm not getting punished?" I raise an eyebrow.
"No. Turns out the Greatest Monster of Qigong Kesh has its perks," she smiled, returning her gaze to me.
"I'm the monster?"
"Yep. Don't you know what the instructors call you behind your back?"
"Nope."
"Now you do," amusement flared from her.
…
How does she do it? Mock me so subtly.
Embarrassed, I lower my eyes and fold my hands behind my back.
"But that's not why I called you."
"Huh?"
"Shade, do you remember our talk about the Force?" the Temple Master asked, looking at the wall painting depicting two elements: Light and Dark in a Je'daii's hands. In one hand he held a dark sphere, in the other a bright one. "When you insisted the Force comes from within us? And that there's no point in sinking into one side, because both are already with us—with all their flaws and strengths."
"Yes, Master. Master Runa almost tore my head off back then, calling me a heretic," she smiled.
"Yes. Master Runa is very conservative in his views, but that's his personal opinion. What I'm getting at is: your point of view has the right to exist alongside the accepted one. You've already adopted it, and there's no point trying to re-teach you."
"Re-teach me?" I make the dumbest face I can.
"Stop playing, Shade. I can see you do things your way. The way you think is needed. And I can see your methods sometimes diverge from what's accepted. Take meditation. While we're trying to feel the world around us, you're trying to hear the Force inside yourself. I see it. Also, you don't follow the Masters' advice completely the way others do. No. You think through what you're told and adapt it to yourself. And it's hard to say the method is bad. Take that Force blizzard. While padawans spend takedus trying to master that technique, you created it in a matter of days. You didn't copy it—you took it, broke it down, and did it your way. That deserves praise, don't you think?"
…
I stand there, stupidly staring at the Temple Master, who's practically glowing with mischief.
"Surprised?"
"Honestly—yes. I expected you to scold me for my… uh… uh… uh?" I didn't get to finish—she burst out laughing.
"Master?"
"Ha-ha-ha… sorry. No, I won't scold you for that. You're simply curious, and a Master's job is to answer questions. Who's to blame that people didn't take you seriously, and then it was too late," she shrugged. "But you didn't answer my question."
"Well… yes. I'm surprised. I always thought my point of view changes some assumptions about the Force a lot. And that…"
"Could lead to exile," she nodded. "Yes, you're right. It could. But the thing is, unlike your father, you're not saying anything radical. It doesn't change the essence; you're just using a different approach. Besides, someone is needed to bring a new, fresh perspective into our faith. I think that someone will be you."
"Optimistic."
"More no than yes," she replied with a sigh. "As sad as it is, not everyone will accept it. Your mother sent you here specifically because of me. In any other temple they would've tried to re-teach you. Teach you to do things the 'right' way. The way you're 'supposed' to. They would've ruined your talent. In the best case—and in the worst, you know yourself."
"Sorry, you mentioned talent."
"And?"
"Which one?"
"Tell me—what pushes you forward?" she abruptly changed the topic.
"Well…" I hesitate. "I want to be worthy. I want Mom to be proud of me…" Her look grows a little skeptical. "…also I want to be free. I want to live and see the joy of friends and family, hear their laughter, laugh with them. I want to be strong so I can protect not only myself, but them. I want to find my father…" I finish quietly.
"Your talent, Shade, is that you won't back down. You'll dig in with your montrals and you won't give, you won't surrender."
"I don't have montrals," I mumble.
"You understood me. And your goals are clear to me. In that case—shall I help you a little?"
"Hm?"
"Come."
Getting up from behind the desk, she led me after her.
"Where to?"
"You'll see," interesting. So what is it they want to show me?
After walking the temple corridors, we reached a spacious hall. The walls depicted different beings. All in robes, with blades in their hands. I even blanked out a bit at the sight—the concentration of the Force here was stronger than in the other halls.
"This is the Hall of Knowledge," Tsikuna drew my attention.
"Master?"
"Here, more… advanced forms of the Force are studied. Since you leave in half a year, I decided to personally take on your training. You've already learned all the basic techniques—thanks to Aara—and what you didn't, you refined here. Now I'll show you deeper techniques." I tilt my head questioningly. "You've already learned the general principle of tutaminis, right?" I nod.
"Yes. It's a technique for absorbing, dispersing, or redirecting energy. Without it, Master Uval would've made a cutlet out of me with my own journal long ago."
Tsikuna laughed. Brightly, but not loudly—until tears.
"Oh…" She wiped away a tear. "Yeah… you and him definitely get along. But now you'll practice with me?"
"Huh?"
In response, she lit fire in her hand.
"O-o-oh!"
"The Force has far more facets than one can imagine. It's capable not only of oscillations, but of change as well, and interaction with anything—including at the molecular level."
"I heard about that. From Master Drags. In Stav Keshe they actively practice that direction."
"Correct. It was first discovered there, but here it became something more. For example, the technique I'm going to use is called 'pyrokinesis.' Fire control. If you learn it well enough, you'll be able to walk calmly through any flame," she was already ready to throw the sphere at me when I raised both hands.
"Wait-wait! Why am I getting this honor?"
"You're different, Shade. Maybe you don't notice it, but I see how strongly you differ from the other students. And I'm interested. Interested in how you'll master unfamiliar and fairly complex techniques—techniques mastered on the path to the rank of Master," and after those words, a huge, for fuck's sake, fireball flew at me. "R'K-har!" a shout burst out in my native language. I barely managed to throw up a barrier; the ball ricocheted into the wall. Not even a scorch mark remained.
"Again!"
"No-no-no, I don't wa-a-ant to!" I dodge the next sphere, but the third had to be taken with tutaminis, because it hit me square. The fourth broke through the technique and slammed me into the wall. "Ugh… this isn't help, it's a beating… khah-khah."
"Get up, Shade. We're just starting…"
"I'm afraid I won't survive to the end…" I rasp, getting up anyway.
***
From that moment on, I ended up in Hell. Tsikuna drove me every day like she was preparing me for war. What we covered in the first half of the year didn't compare to what she gave. Sure—that was a general course, and this was already narrow, specialized training for those who chose the path of studying aspects of the Force through techniques.
Pyrokinesis, allowing control of fire. Force stun, capable of knocking out a non-sensitive—and if you hit harder, even a sensitive will be hurting. Ionization, which is a directed pulse that disables tech. Like an EMP grenade, but better. You can regulate density, range, and flow direction.
I'll talk about Force camouflage, which Master Bagi used actively, separately, because to this day we play "Who finds whom." And I won't even speak about "Force Weapon"! This technique allows you to saturate a weapon in your hands with the Force so much that the blade will cut steel like butter! Even if it's made of the exact same material. As one moose used to say, "Phenomenal"!
They also briefly told me about something called "hibernation trance." This ability allows you to fall into a very deep kind of sleep for healing and survival. Especially effective with oxygen deficiency. Such "sleep" can last a takedu or even a year—depends on how much brain you've got. They told me, but didn't teach me, because that's taught at the healing temple. But they did teach me a primitive version, so that if I ever ended up in a radiation or acid zone, I wouldn't immediately die and would have a chance to get out.
They taught me primitive Force healing too, and Crucitorn. The latter is a technique for overcoming physical pain beyond the normal threshold. The technique allowed you to block your own consciousness from outside influences. Through mental intrusion, you could either focus on another sensation, or increase the target's pain sensations to such a degree that a simple touch would feel like hellish pain.
By the way, the last one already counted as an "advanced" skill, if you can call it that, and the fact they were teaching it to me… honestly, I didn't understand. I refused to understand why she would. But if they're giving it, it's not like it's a sin to take it.
I also learned a technique called "Vulnerable Point." This technique allows you to sense vulnerable points in mechanisms, organisms, and even just material. Example: there's glass in front of me. I feel a point, place my hand, give a small impulse. CRACK! The glass falls in shards. Minimal Force input, maximum profit.
There was telepathy too. I did have to tell them about my special inborn talent, causing a whole storm of positive emotions. That maniac started testing and matching different additional properties to my talent, trying to develop it and study it at the same time. The training went so far that when my wave makes contact with an object, I began to feel its emotional background better, and now I can easily determine whether the object is lying to me. Unfortunately, I won't learn to hear thoughts, because that's a completely different discipline.
But the scariest part was that I had to experience everything listed above on myself. Oh, how many times I got burned, how many times I clenched my teeth from unbearable pain, and how many times they tried to pull me back from an incorrect entry into hibernation trance. Even Master Uval, who sometimes dropped by our training, looked ha-a-a-appy at first, but later even he started to pity me. In a word—horror. But there were results, and they were visible to the naked eye.
***
"Ugh…" I groaned, falling onto the bed.
"Where do you keep disappearing to all the time?!" Ramira complained, starting to heal me. Simple applications of the Force relieved fatigue well and healed minor wounds—exactly the ones Master Tsikuna missed while setting my fractures. Yeah, I've got the nerve to walk into the girls' room like I own it, regardless of anything. Well, where else do you rest after brutal training if not here? Besides, my room is even farther, and right now every step is hard.
"I'm doing additional Force training," I grumble, staring at the ceiling.
"And you're not sick of it? There isn't a living spot on you. And who the hell teaches you LIKE THAT?!" Ramira ranted, yet kept working over me. My muscles gradually relaxed, the pain faded, and my skin tone returned to normal.
"Sadly… I need it," I sigh, then suddenly feel a light prick in my hand. "Ow!"
"Oh, how delicate we are," Ramira threw out, putting away a little cylinder with my blood.
"Hey!"
"Need it," she said, and that was it.
"Why?!"
"I want to check something…"
"Instead of going for a walk with us, eating, at least hanging out more often, you're off somewhere doing something," Ves grumbled, settling beside me.
"With you? Or with you?" a sly smile crawls onto my face on its own.
"Of course with me. Uh, I mean… idiot!" A light punch landed in my shoulder. Only, judging by her emotions, the indignation was very skillfully acted—inside, the cat was having fun.
"Big-time. Not on speaking terms with my brain," I wrap an arm around her and brazenly flop onto my side. I feel bright shock mixed with a storm of joy.
"Strange," Ramira drew our attention.
"Mmm?"
"Your midichlorian level in your blood went up," she stated, thoughtfully biting a nail on her thumb. "Very strange. No, it's logical, but the fluctuations are too high…"
"Rami, please explain for a teapot."
"When we first came here, they took blood from all of us. Since I hang out in the medical wing, they let me see our group's analyses, so I know who has what level. Right now your midichlorian count is fifteen thousand, and when we first came here it didn't even exceed twelve." She paused and looked at me. "What kind of training are you doing?! To raise your connection to the Force like that, you'd have to regularly do something serious. Very, very serious. And not only that—your whole self would have to be constantly bathed in the Force like an X-ray."
"Hold on, hold on, hold on," I slow our medic down, catching one main question. "Answer this first…"
"Well?"
"I don't understand—don't midichlorians regulate your connection to the Force?"
"No. Where did you even hear that?!"
"Uh… doesn't matter. Then how?"
"Your connection to the Force is yours and yours alone. Midichlorians need beings with high Force sensitivity to survive. And the higher the sensitivity, the more comfortable they are, so they'll multiply. Their number is used to determine a being's Force level."
"A-a-ah…" and mentally I add, "Anakin, you cheater! To be born on a desert planet with over twenty thousand right off the bat—that's insane! And I don't even know what pisses me off more: that he had that perk from the start, or that he wasted the perk!"
Shaking myself, I come back to the real world.
"Alright, okay, I get it. Thanks. But what's the problem that has you upset?"
"You have too big a difference in indicators," she returned to the monitor. "It shouldn't be like that. Usually that kind of growth is seen in those who go too deep into one aspect of the Force or the other. In that case, midichlorians start multiplying like yeast. But that's not your case," she shot me a sideways look, accompanied by a flare of disbelief. "You're in balance. And here I honestly can't understand how… how did you raise your Force sensitivity like that?"
"Uh…" I remember being turned into a pancake, and with completely honest eyes I answer, "No idea how. Maybe it's the training effect."
"Suppose. But answer—what kind of training is it? What are you doing?"
"I'm going through an advanced course," and with that I peel myself off Ves, raise a hand, and ignite a small bead of fire in my palm. Clenching my fist, I snuff it out and look at the amazed guys. "Don't get excited—this is pure masochism."
"Why?" Ves looked extremely interested. She was always attracted to the idea of becoming stronger and achieving something, becoming a recognized Master. Understandable—she's a girl from a small, distant colony.
"Normally they cover that material in a safe setting without harming the student, but it takes years, if not decades. I'm being run through an express course, forced to learn the full power of these techniques on my own body."
"That's insane!" Ramira exclaimed.
"It's effective," I answer with a sigh. "Don't get excited, guys—it really hurts. But with my lifestyle, there's no other way. If I leave here without 'above average' training, I'll sign my own death warrant. Luckily Mom provided me with minimal training, and here I'm getting average… if you can put it that way."
"Actually, after graduation we'll have a personal mentor either way. They'll take over the training."
"And here my gut says a disaster is waiting for me."
"A disaster?" the girls exchanged glances.
"A fluffy little animal with white fur. It lives on another planet. Its feature is that it comes completely suddenly, silently. You don't expect it, and then it's there. It's often used as an analogy for trouble—like, trouble came from where you didn't expect."
"Interesting animal… first time I've heard of it," Ramira murmured thoughtfully. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Yes?"
"Ramira, you coming soon?" The door opened and Zeng appeared.
"Oh, right away," our healer grabbed her bag on the spot, tossed in a couple things, threw me a tube of healing alchemical ointment, and ran to the door. "That's it, I'm off for a walk, bye-bye. Ves, I'm leaving the room to you," she waved and disappeared out the door together with one of the twins.
"The hell?!" I turn to Ves. "Am I missing something?"
"Zeng started dating Rami, and Feng is dating Ayana."
"Ayana?! I thought they didn't get along…" I stare at the ceiling, remembering how those two constantly snapped at each other. Ayana is a Twi'lek girl from Chikaagu, and she's got a far-from-peaceful temper. On the other hand, I can be happy for my friend.
"Yeah. I think even Gris started seeing someone," Ves finished me.
"O'valik!" I blurt out in Togruta, stunned.
"Or, not so much dating as writing letters, since she's from Ska-Gora."
"Ah… that makes sense," I nod. Ska-Gora has a lot of Wookiees, so it's not hard to guess our shaggy friend found himself a partner of his own species. "Want me to help with the cream?" Ves changed the subject, taking the tube and turning it in her hands, studying my face.
"I'd appreciate it."
When I turned face-down into the pillow, my shirt was pulled off, and she sat astride me and began rubbing the healing cream into the spots on my skin.
"I've fallen behind on life with all these trainings," I grumble into the pillow.
"Only noticed now?" Ves giggled.
"Yeah. They're dating, these are scheming… and I'm clueless."
"Shade, do you realize you have more extra duty and private lessons than classes?" indignation flared from Ves.
"I find it funny," I snort.
"And I don't."
"Hm?"
"Where's that Shade who came to the temple with us? Not a day went by when you didn't tease me—and I'm not even talking about how you always wanted to scratch behind my ear."
"You have very cute ears," I smile.
"Yeah," she got embarrassed, "but now I barely even see you. You're always disappearing somewhere."
"And that's good! Ouch! Ves!" I protest as she hits a bruise.
"Is my company really that unpleasant for you?" she pouted at me.
"I didn't say that. I said that for safety reasons, sometimes it's better to keep your distance from me to avoid, so to speak, an accident."
"You're an idiot. A complete idiot."
"I've never denied that."
"Heh. So what—between those trainings you don't even date anyone?"
"If I do, it's the bed and pillow," I smile, and Ves laughs too.
"What, no one even in mind?"
"Well… depends," I turn my head and look at that sly little face. "Why?"
"And who is she?" Oof, how Ves flared. Indignation, anger, regret, hurt… no, sweetheart, where are you going with that? Come on…
"Cute, pretty, with ears… and I scratched her behind the ear too." The Cathar got embarrassed, and not a trace of that storm remained.
"Seriously?"
"Absolutely."
"So you do like me?"
"You already know the answer," I close my eyes, melting under the shoulder massage. Ves leaned closer and whispered in my ear:
"I want to hear it."
"Yes, Ves. I like you," and quieter I add, "not every girl can even tolerate me, not to mention a relationship. You yourself said I'm always disappearing somewhere. I don't give attention. Almost. And even when I do, it's… unconventional, let's say. And you… not only tolerate it, you even make sure I've got a full fridge and a clean room. Thank you, Ves."
"If so, then why do I have to wait so long?!" she snapped, digging her claws into my back.
"A-a-ow!" I jerk, almost bouncing, but the Cathar sitting on top pressed me down firmly. "I-I-I mean?" I raise an eyebrow, managing to turn onto my back with effort. Ves didn't even plan to get off—on the contrary, she braced her paws on my chest and stared into my eyes. Stared in a very wrong way, and in her emotions there was something I couldn't quite parse.
"Exactly what I mean! Where's the romance? Where's the courting?"
"Uh…"
"Where are my well-deserved kisses, finally?!" she grabbed me with claws like a predator ready to gut its prey.
"I kissed you!"
"I mean real ones, not your 'smack,'" her paws closed around my neck, and for a moment it felt like she was about to kill me.
"I-I'll fix it!"
"You? Fix it?" Ves asked in a venomous tone.
"Mmm, fair point. But this time I really will! For such a cute sweetheart I'll do anything!"
"I don't want to wait. You've been tormenting me these last takedus as it is."
"Huh?" It was like the air got knocked out of me by those words.
"Oh, great Force—everyone has boyfriends like boyfriends, and you…" she groaned tiredly, lifting her eyes to the ceiling for a moment. "Why do I have to do everything myself?"
With those words she leaned in and kissed me. Passionately, extremely diligently, and completely clumsily, running her palms along my skin from neck to cheeks. Surprise paralyzed me worse than Force shackles. Pulling back, I see a crowd of little devils dancing in her eyes, and very specific feelings started dominating her emotions. First and foremost, there was Passion, followed by a possessive desire to claim me.
"V-ve-es? Wh—"
"Shh," she pressed a finger to my lips. "No words." Then she latched onto me again, pressing her chest against me. That was the last drop, and all my self-control—trained over years—went straight to hell. Hugging that beauty back, I run my palms along her arching back down to her hips.
A moment—and I saw a small ripple in the Force, and a click of the door lock sounded in the room. The emotional background was drowning me. Alongside desire and passion there was also shyness, and confidence, and a pushy determination that made me think of someone throwing themselves into an abyss—as if there was no road back anymore. And all of it was seasoned with a pinch of fear, which sobered me just enough to let a thought reach my brain.
"Ves," I pull back a little, forcing myself under control.
"You don't want to?" surprise flared in her, mixed with hurt.
"Nonsense. I want to, but…"
"Then stop talking," she breathed sensually, licking my cheek. Her slightly rough tongue left conflicting sensations. Even now, even in a moment like this, reason tried to break through—but this time, no. Ves herself crushed the last spark, unnoticed unfastening my belt and sliding a hand beneath it.