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Chapter 13 - Mission Complete and a Couple of Philosophizing Buzzkills

Uzumaki Naruto's POV

"Dooom... dooom... taa-ra-taa... dooom-ta..." Humming the tune, I stepped smoothly around the bear, one hand holding the cat clinging to my shoulder while the index finger of my other hand released chakra to complete the fuin seal's circuit beneath me. "Toom-ta-toom... sounds kinda grim... taa-ra-taa..."

Same clearing as before.

There was a soft poof, and that was it. Now I had to figure out what to do with the bear carcass I'd just sealed into a kunai.

These specific kunai I had were meant for combat, not for being vessels for big animals. The fuin would fall apart in about half an hour unless I shifted the "load" onto my own chakra, which required close contact.

As for the carcass... I'd probably have to swing by the Akimichi clan district. They mostly work as shinobi, sure, but they also run food businesses. I sealed the thing into a kunai exactly so I could hand the body off later—it's way easier to carry that way.

The cat, for her part, crawled out on her own once I let go of the now motionless, lumbering beast. And to avoid having to chase her down again, I had to pick her up.

Finished with that, still not letting go of the vessel-kunai, I released chakra from my chest in parallel, "gluing" the cat to me. Developing my whole chakra network is paying off; that last bit came really easy.

One jump, and my body shot off along the upper paths.

The chunin, by the way, was fine. A clone had successfully delivered him to the hospital. After explaining everything to the medics and waiting for their signal—that it was just a paralytic and the effect would wear off in an hour or two—the clone dispelled, passing its memories back to me.

Another leap. Another. At this speed, everything would've blurred into one solid smear of brown and green if not for my sharpened perception.

Moving through the forest, I also went out of my way to avoid any other animals. The bear meat would be plenty.

But just as I was at the edge, one cocky chakra source locked onto me. And it was fast.

I could've just lost it, but I wasn't in the best mood.

So I just waited ten or so seconds.

"What do you want?" I asked the tiger that was bounding through the trees toward me. It was smaller than the bear—only about four meters at the shoulder.

The beast wasn't planning on stopping and just lunged, stretching its paws forward, claws extended.

A second of focus.

Bam—a crash shook the forest like something huge had just exploded.

That was me. I'd spent some time beforehand thoroughly soaking my arm with chakra, slipped right past its paws and clocked the tiger in the head, and it went tumbling down to the ground, its jaw knocked loose.

"Well?! Anyone else want their face rearranged?!" I yelled at the forest, turning in place. No answer. "Thought so!"

And, feeling pretty damn proud of myself, I moved on.

Shame I still can't pull that off against shinobi in a real fight. Charging a limb that much with chakra still takes too long.

A few minutes later I walked in on a scene: the cat—who'd already seen a lot in this life—was being squeezed within an inch of her furry existence by a woman who wasn't very tall but was, let's say, very... expansive.

After listening to how I was such a good boy for bringing back her "Little Tiger" (the cat's name, Tora, Japanese 虎, means "tiger") and turning down her offer of home-cooked food, I made sure to memorize the cat's scent and chakra. Because watching the owner literally mash the kitty into her cheek and choke her out, and seeing how much the poor thing was suffering, I had a feeling someone would be running this mission again. Quite possibly—me.

Hiruzen hadn't lied about the cat, by the way. She'd hidden herself really well. She'd gone off to a remote corner of the village and crammed herself into a deep burrow. They would've been looking for her for ages—unless they'd sent shinobi specialized in tracking.

Once I got the signature on the form that the client was fully satisfied with the mission, I headed for the Hokage's residence.

 

I opened the door and went straight in:

"A little over an hour. Hokage-sama, give me something harder. That was way too easy."

Right after I said that, some suspicious fruity smell puffed into my face. I decided to ignore it—the windows were open, and soon it was barely noticeable. I chose to focus on Hiruzen's face instead, which right now was pretty relaxed.

"Hello again, Naruto." Putting his pipe down on the desk, he took my paper and, after a bit of reading, went on, "Easy, you say? Hm... And what about your partner, Fumaro-kun? Word reached me that he needed medical assistance."

By that time I'd already sat myself comfortably in the chair opposite the old man.

"Yeah, there was a small mishap with a trap. Apparently my teammate didn't notice it, or maybe he didn't even know about them. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to warn him at the right moment. But I did everything I could. Sorry it turned out like that. I know he's okay, so I assume there's no reason to worry?" I spread my hands in a gesture like, I'm a little embarrassed about that bit, but I did my best. Can we move on?

"Ahem, ahem," for some reason Hiruzen went into a coughing fit.

The reason became clearer a moment later.

"I heard a shadow clone brought him in. That's an impressive technique for someone your age. But tell me—was it really the right decision to send a clone off with a disabled comrade and personally keep chasing... a cat?"

He doesn't know I mastered that technique? It's been a while. Or he's not sure how good I am with it?

"Yes," I answered without delay. "The mission has to be completed, Hokage-sama. Failure, even on a D-rank mission, looks bad for a shinobi. Besides, I was sure the clone could handle the delivery, and the medics would handle the treatment. Fumaro-san was safe. What would've been the point of me going back?"

"The point, Naruto, is about principles," Hiruzen said, gentle but insistent. "A comrade's life and safety are always the priority. Always. Even if that means failing the mission. What if the clone had dispelled on the way? What if Fumaro-kun's condition had worsened? What if the clone had run into an unforeseen problem? You left your partner behind, even if you did entrust him to a clone. That goes against the basic rule of teamwork."

"That's true if we're talking in general. I understand that the worst possible outcome for this mission was our deaths. In that case, failing the mission wouldn't have led to any real losses. But, again, I was confident in my clone," I finished that last line with extra seriousness, looking the old man straight in the eyes.

He apparently found that answer good enough.

"Alright, let's leave Fumaro-kun for now..." Hiruzen sighed. "From what I understand, the chase led you into a rather... interesting place. Training Ground Forty-Four. You know what that is, don't you, Naruto?"

"The Forest of Death?" I shrugged again, dropping the serious act. "Yeah, I've heard of it. A bit creepy, big trees. Big animals too. But I wouldn't say there's anything special about it. You're pretty well informed, Hokage-sama. Been peeking into your little crystal ball, huh?"

"I do indeed have a certain artifact... that lets me use a long-range surveillance technique on shinobi. It's for maintaining law and order in Konoha."

Mm-hm, and for peeking at kunoichi in the bath. Yeah, yeah, I know.

"But back to the Forest of Death. Naruto, that's one of the most dangerous areas in the entire Land of Fire. Uncontrolled giant animals, poisonous plants, leftover traps—not to mention other teams who might be training there... And you come back from all that with a look like you just went out for a loaf of bread..."

I just spread my hands at his speech, as if to say, well, that's more or less how it was.

That gesture wasn't entirely honest, and he caught it.

"Do you really not understand the danger, or is this... a mask, Naruto?" Hiruzen asked softly, his gaze turning sharper. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands on the desk. "I didn't worry and decide to use that surveillance technique for nothing... And what I saw, Naruto, didn't look much like 'going out for bread.'"

My body tensed up a bit on its own.

How much did he see? I'll assume the worst—he saw everything. And a little honesty won't hurt anyway.

"In many ways, it was like that," I started answering. "But even if it wasn't, I generally don't like to stir up negativity in my relationships with people I'm close to. What happened is already over."

"What happened made me clutch at my heart. Why did you hang that bear? And tell me, what did you feel when you took a life?"

Damn, what a question... Learning from me, huh...

"It's really touching that you worry about me that much. But..." one eyebrow went up on its own. "I killed the bear because it was threatening my life. Partly, I'll admit it. I could've run. But it was probably... also a test of my resolve. Could I handle a threat that, in theory, I should be able to handle? Turns out, I can. What did I feel? Same as genin who've gone through psychological conditioning—nothing. Koharu-san tried to run something like that on me, but my own understanding of why such actions are necessary is enough. Plus, I've seen enough corpses in the morgue. Am I supposed to start bawling out of regret every time I walk into the hospital? It's just an animal. I doubt I'll be feeling much remorse when I'm eating its meat and have a rug from its hide on my floor."

Hiruzen listened carefully, his face calm, but his eyes had gone deeply thoughtful, with a hint of worry. He slowly rubbed the bridge of his nose, like he was gathering his thoughts.

"I appreciate your honesty, Naruto. And I understand your desire to test yourself, to test your resolve. Self-defense is not just a right, it is a shinobi's duty," he began in a flat, measured tone. "But what you're saying about your feelings... or rather, their absence... that's what truly worries me."

He leaned forward, elbows on the desk, his gaze going serious.

"Shinobi must be ready for the cruelty of this world. But the goal of that training isn't to kill your feelings, it's to learn to control them, to keep them from interfering with your duty. A complete lack of regret, even for a beast... that's not a sign of strength, Naruto. It can be a sign of dangerous detachment."

His voice stayed soft, but there was iron conviction in it.

"Detachment frees the mind. Emotional control does the same," I said.

"Today, it's an animal. And tomorrow? If you so easily accept the death of one living being, what guarantee is there that you won't one day just as easily accept the death of a person? Even an enemy? The line between the necessary cruelty of a shinobi and indifference to life is very thin, Naruto. And I'm afraid you're approaching it too closely and too soon."

He pointed at the kunai with the bear, which I was still holding.

"Thoughts about turning its hide into a rug... They show pragmatism, yes. But also... a certain callousness. You can't forget that even the fiercest beast had a life of its own."

Hiruzen leaned back again, his gaze full of fatherly concern. In me, that stirred not only a bit of warmth, but also some confusion that made my eyebrow twitch. I still tried to keep a straight face.

"Your strength is growing at an incredible pace. Your mind is sharp. But your soul... it also needs to grow, to understand the value of life, to feel compassion. Otherwise, you risk becoming exactly that 'tool' Koharu-san talked about—an incredibly powerful one, yes. But not a person. That's why, Naruto, I insist on reevaluating your training. You don't just need to learn to kill or to survive. You need to learn to live as a shinobi of Konoha. To understand responsibility, to value your comrades, to see not only the threat, but also what you're protecting."

He picked his pipe back up, signaling that this part of the talk was over.

"Nice lecture," I said; my face had kept the same calm mask through the whole conversation, not letting any emotion slip out. "My answer is that I do have principles. You meant, didn't you, whether I'll lose the line between enemies and allies? That there might come a point where killing either feels the same to me?"

Hiruzen gave a cautious nod.

"I've thought about it before. And I'm thinking about it now, even if I haven't fully decided yet. One of my most important principles is making sure I can live an easy, carefree life. Second priority—a carefree life together with my loved ones. Don't take that as me devaluing them; that second spot is almost at the very top, which means it's worth a lot. But right now, the most valuable thing I have is me. Based on that, anything that threatens those two points is an enemy. Regret is an emotion that burns energy. It's irrational to waste extra energy on something that's going to be removed anyway. Sometimes it's hard to judge when something really is a threat to your life. But that's exactly what a weak person like me needs to work on. Regret and compassion are luxuries of the strong. From the books I've read, the biographies, stories, teachings of other shinobi—this world is cruel. Sometimes you have to be ready to throw your emotions aside to protect what's dear to you. And one of the most effective ways to do that is killing."

Silence hung for a few seconds. After my words, Hiruzen even seemed to straighten up, like he'd sunk into some old memories. But he still found it in himself to continue.

"You've built a very... coherent system, Naruto," he said slowly. "One where there's no room for weakness, doubt, or regret. A system meant to protect you and what's dear to you in this cruel world. I understand... your logic. I've seen enough in my long life to understand how such views are born."

He sighed, running a hand over his face.

"But exactly because I've seen so much, I'll tell you this: the world isn't just black and white, enemies and allies, people to eliminate and people to protect. There are shades. There are mistakes. There are people who stumble but can find their way back. There are enemies who can become allies. By tossing aside compassion and regret as an 'irrational waste of energy,' you risk blinding yourself to those shades. And you risk becoming someone who only sees a threat and a way to remove it."

Hiruzen paused for a moment and was about to go on, but I didn't let him.

"I think we're talking past each other. My 'system' is pretty relative, and flexible. But sometimes the criteria for when killing is necessary are very straightforward. Like when someone comes at you with a kunai. Being able to see shades of gray and try to bring the 'strayed' back is also rational. But people don't always change, and then spending effort on them is, on the contrary, irrational. You know situations can be all over the place. And also... just because I'm throwing around words like 'rational' and 'effective' doesn't mean I'll actually act that way. I have feelings. They're layered and they swing around a lot. But trying to fully lay out my thoughts on this topic is, again, irrational in terms of time. I couldn't explain my ideals to you in full even if we sat here talking for hours. They just change and adapt with time. But I will say this: my compassion is meant for me and my loved ones. If I try to spread that feeling over the whole world, the result will be the same as if I gave it up entirely. Because, using myself as an example again, I'd spend all my energy on compassion and achieve nothing. Because I'm too weak. When I get stronger, then we'll have a different conversation."

Silence fell again. Hiruzen didn't interrupt, listening carefully and thinking over what I'd said.

"You... think too much for your age, Naruto," he finally said quietly. "And you build very complicated, very... adult constructs. I can't say I fully agree with your philosophy; it feels too cold to me, too... defensive. But I hear your logic. I hear your fear of being weak, your desire to protect the little you hold dear, starting with yourself. And I... accept your point of view. As your current point of view."

He put a kind of emphasis on that entire last sentence.

"I still hope that with age, with experience, with real friends and comrades, your view of the world will... broaden. That you'll find it in yourself not only to be pragmatic, but also to feel compassion for those outside your close circle. But I won't force you. Time will tell."

A heavy sigh slipped out of me.

"There are still shadows of not-quite-understanding in your words, Hokage-sama. I think you're taking the 'finished' part of my philosophy only from what I just said. But that philosophy is way too big to fully tell even in hours. Strangers and enemies are two very different things. You have to really work to get moved into the second category. And again, just because I sound pretty cold doesn't mean I won't subconsciously feel regret even for enemies. Like I said, I have feelings. And in some situations I can't even predict myself how I'll act."

"Hmm..." his expression shifted and he scratched his head. "Well, um... that makes more sense then. Let's probably drop this topic."

"Great..." I took a moment to gather my thoughts, then, already smiling, slapped the kunai onto the table. "Here. The bear's in here. Think you can use your connections to reach the Akimichi and sell the carcass for a good price? I don't need a rug or the head. I'll just embarrass myself showing off that I only took down a bear..."

For a moment, Hiruzen was thrown off by the sudden change of subject and the businesslike tone, but he quickly recovered. A faint smile touched his lips, bleeding off the last of the tension in the room.

"Hah... you really do switch gears fast, Naruto," he said, shaking his head and examining the kunai with interest.

"Well, yeah! We droned on with that philosophical debate so hard that even the open window isn't helping."

"Straight to business, then. Sound pragmatism," he nodded. "Alright, I'll get in touch with Choza. I'm sure we'll come to an arrangement."

"Hope so. And yeah, don't be shy about taking your cut for acting as middleman. We might not be strangers, but it's exactly the people who aren't strangers you shouldn't screw over."

"Um..." he clearly felt awkward about taking money from, in a sense, an orphan.

"Or just take half the 'cut'. Your principles matter too."

The old man had suddenly gone quiet. When it's time to lecture me on morals—no problem. But when it's time to pull a slightly shady deal, selling a carcass that wasn't acquired in the most legal way—suddenly he's shy.

"Ahem," as if hiding from the topic, he reached under the desk and slid one of the drawers aside to pull out an envelope. "Congratulations on your first completed mission. Here's your share. Officially the mission will be recorded only under Fumaro-kun, but you earned this fair and square."

"Hmph, like you're handing me a salary without deducting taxes," I said with a grin, taking the envelope.

He froze, then asked quietly:

"...Tell an old man, where did you get that much knowledge about corruption?"

"...That," I blinked innocently. "You're hallucinating. You didn't hear anything."

"...Alright, we'll let that go."

Holy shit, it worked! Then again, it worked on me too... Turns out that line of Fumaro's is actually pretty good. I underestimated it at first.

"So... when's the next mission, Hokage-sama?"

"You know, I was thinking of temporarily suspending you from missions. You need to learn teamwork..."

I raised a hand, and the old man stopped.

"All that stuff you're about to list can be worked on during missions. Just with someone more experienced than Fumaro. After that we'll gradually move on to C-rank missions, then B, and so on up to S-rank."

"...Alright, that makes sense too. But until you finish the academy, no missions above C-rank."

"What? H–huh?! What academy, what do I need that for?"

"For socialization, for developing empathy. And..." he gave me a strange look. "For building ties with clan heirs. Many of them are your age, and you'll be in the same class."

"Clan heirs, huh... I can get something out of that. And I can cut class at that academy a lot, so it won't eat up much time," I thought for a moment, then snapped back to the real world to ask the question still bugging me. "But why the limit on mission rank?"

"..." Hiruzen clearly had opinions about my plans, but he still answered the question. "No matter how much you might think otherwise, you're still too young for that."

The air started to feel thick with the smell of things unsaid. Well, my instincts felt it; it didn't literally stink.

"Besides, we're still trying to keep your abilities under wraps."

"Which plenty of people already know about."

"I repeat: those people are trustworthy. But if you disappear from the village for a long time, you'll put yourself in serious danger. Worse than anything you might face even on an A-rank mission. Your power is too anomalous and too dangerous for the future."

There we go, that smell of half-truths eased up. But I still needed more details.

"..." I gave him a very confused look to show I wouldn't mind a few clarifications.

At that moment Hiruzen drew in a hidden breath and dropped the truth bomb that was supposed to knock me flat:

"You're the jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails."

"..." I stayed silent, face blank.

"..." Hiruzen stayed silent, waiting for a reaction.

"Yeah, I know," I said. And before he could start asking where from, I clarified, "It's actually pretty easy to guess. Inhumanly fast recovery, and more importantly—an aggressive chakra you have to suppress before you heal anyone."

"..." He glanced at me, then off to the side, drumming his fingers on the table. "That was... unexpected."

"Yep. So, the danger is that other countries will want to take out the jinchuriki while he's still weak?"

"Yes... Naruto, you've understood correctly. In fact, a lot of people in our village know that you're the jinchuriki," I snorted. "And I took it upon myself to forbid them from talking about it. You see, many shinobi lost loved ones when the Kyuubi broke free. They don't understand that you're the cage for the beast. On the contrary, some are convinced you're the demon incarnate... Maybe you've noticed wary looks or something like that?"

"Uh... honestly, pretty rarely. Three shinobi once glared at me like I'd stolen their mission reward. A couple of shopkeepers. But I just assumed they were constipated or something."

"...Ahem. Those associations of yours."

"They are what they are."

"This hatred toward you, it is there... Some parents will forbid their children from talking to you."

"I don't give a damn, I don't hang out with kids anyway."

"That's exactly what I'm getting at. You need to talk to your peers. Broaden your social circle. Feel more like part of the community."

"...Let's say I agree."

"So. I have to ask you not to spread it around that you're a jinchuriki. Especially in your future team. It's for your own good."

"Okay," I shrugged. "Until those brats seem smart enough, I'll keep the secret. So what about missions? If I get strong enough, will you give me harder ones?"

"..." Hiruzen laced his fingers together and covered his face with them. "After you finish the academy. I did say strength isn't only about power, didn't I? Show that you're just as strong at socializing."

"...That's a bullshit reason. But whatever, it's not like I desperately need it. I'll just focus on Iryo- and Fuin-jutsu."

The old man choked on air.

"The kunai's going to fall apart in about half an hour, so you should hurry getting it to the buyer. On that note, I'd say we're done."

"Yes, I'll take care of it. Stay healthy, Naruto."

"You don't get sick either."

After we said our goodbyes, I walked out of the office.

Ugh... that was a heavy conversation.

Still, I pretty much said everything I actually feel during it. Even if skipping some details—like the inter-universe sources of my knowledge—was a bit of a pain.

First paycheck in hand... I should celebrate.

Leaving the residence, I ducked into an alley and counted the bills.

Ten thousand. Half the mission reward, after taxes.

Before this I'd get pocket money. But I preferred to spend that on something practical. This money, though, I wanted to blow on something fun.

Ten thousand is actually a solid amount. D-rank missions usually pay from five to fifty thousand. But that money gets split between the jonin, three genin, and a twenty percent tax.

Once, when I was bored, I tried to compare the value of the local currency to that of my old world. It came out, roughly—very roughly; different tech level, different production costs, so some things are way cheaper here and some way more expensive—that about five local ryo are equal to one dollar from a certain pretty big country in my past world.

So yeah, still a pretty hefty sum. On one hand, I could buy some decently expensive crap and enjoy it. But I went a different route—straight to a sweets shop.

In this world, it just turned out that my food was always made for me. And it was done according to a diet. Which, according to the doctors, I don't really even need, given my body relies more on chakra. But since I'm simply used to eating that way, I haven't had anything sweet in a long time. Like, really damn sweet. In my past world I used to love that stuff.

So at the confectionery I immediately bought myself a chocolate cake...

And I probably shouldn't have... Or maybe I definitely should have?

Because the taste on my tongue—already enhanced even at rest thanks to earlier chakra reinforcement—gave me a range of sensations I'd never felt before.

That cake tasted so nice, so damn good, that I didn't even notice it was gone.

So I ordered another one right away.

Then another.

Then they ran out of pure chocolate ones, so I got a different kind. Those I really liked too.

And another.

And another.

I walked out of the shop with my wallet a bit thinner, but very, very satisfied.

Looks like I've found where all my money's going to go...

_____

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