Chapter 4:
I always wonder what I will do or how I will feel when someone confesses to me. Like, what are the feelings that people feel at that moment? I thought I would be cool and composed since no one ever confessed to me before. I always tell the girls that I am helping to stay calm and just be cool and not panic.
Well, it is my turn now, and let's just say I am a good example to listen to, not to follow. I went to get changed, and my mind was completely blank, my heart beating like it wanted to escape from my body. I didn't even know if I should be happy, if I was allowed to be. Was I allowed to feel this warm little bloom of satisfaction?
When I finished changing and stepped toward the exit, I heard voices outside.
"Why are you still on this old thing?" Jack's voice.
A familiar female voice snapped back, "You mean none of it matters for you anymore? Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm the stupid one, Jae."
Yep. Faye. Of course. I was tired of their conversations. I wanted to know what was really going on between them.
Jack said calmly, "I'm waiting for someone important. I am sorry, but I have nothing more to say to you. Can you just go home? I don't want any misunderstanding."
Someone important? Me?
I had to hold back a giggle. Maybe I was finally important to someone, not just used.
Faye hesitated. "Is it the girl from last time?"
(He stayed silent.)
"Oh… I see. It is her."
And she left, trailing a sweet candy perfume behind her.
I waited a minute before stepping out. I just wanted to check if he was okay, what expression he had after all that.
"You really did wait for me," I said.
He turned, smiling softly. "I told you I was serious. And I'm still waiting for answers. But come on, I'll walk you home."
At the school entrance, a luxury black car was parked, strange, unfamiliar, out of place. But I didn't have time to think about it; we were already walking toward my house.
I still didn't know what to say to him. Everything had happened so suddenly, and I was still processing it.
What does it even mean to go out with someone? Does that mean he likes me? Why? What could he possibly see in me?
And he literally hugged me earlier. Oh no. What if I smelled like sweat? What if I—
I accidentally looked up, and he was walking beside me with that calm, confident expression. My face went up in flames. He looked so cool, and I was just… me.
He noticed me staring, so I jerked my head the other way so fast it hurt.
Suddenly, he said, "Do you want ice cream? It's getting hot, right? Let's stop."
I just followed him. Outside the store, some girls stared at us. I could hear their thoughts just by their looks:
He's so cool. So handsome.
Why is SHE with him?
Maybe she's just some creepy girl following him, and he's too nice to tell her off.
"Here," he said, handing me a cup. "I forgot to ask what flavor you like, so I got all of them."
I hid behind a shy voice. "Strawberry."
"Great," he said, giving me that soft, confident smile again.
We sat in a small park. I tried to finish fast so I could go home, but the silence stretched until he broke it.
"So… I figured maybe we don't know each other enough."
(In my head: You think?!)
"So tomorrow we can go see a movie or anything you want. I'll be up for it."
My head dropped even lower. "I guess you're right. A movie would be nice."
"Sounds good, then." He pulled out his phone. "Give me your number so we can communicate. Ask me anything you want."
I typed my number in. He texted me immediately: Hey.
I added it to my phone, and he said, "Register it too, so you're not surprised when I text."
I insisted he head home and told him I was close to my house. He agreed, saying he'd text when he got home and that I should do the same.
When I finally reached my room, I threw myself on my bed and stared at his contact.
I had a boy's number.
A boy wanted to date me.
Were we going on a real date?
Was this actually happening?
My heart was about to explode.
Do I like him? Or do I just think he's cool? What is this feeling?
My phone buzzed. I jumped so hard that it fell on my face.
"Did you reach home okay?" Jack texted.
Then I saw his first message from earlier.
(When I was with him? I almost screamed into my pillow.)
Another message:
"If you don't reply in 5 minutes, I'm calling you."
I panicked and typed fast:
"I am home already."
"Great! I'm home too. I'm excited for tomorrow. What time do you want to meet?"
"Maybe noon."
"Sounds good. See you tomorrow. Good night."
I sent "Goodnight" back.
Then I lay there, staring at the ceiling, unable to breathe properly.
Was I really allowed to feel this happy?