Third-Floor Corridor.
In front of the trapdoor that should have been guarded by Fluffy, the air was now filled with cheerful mechanical barking.
"Woof! Woof! Woof!"
The modified Mechanical Fluffy was excitedly chasing Professor Quirrell's rear end.
The purple turban on Quirrell's head had already been bitten off, revealing a pale, twisted face with features flying in terror—and on the back of his head, the curled-up, infant-like face of Voldemort.
"ENOUGH!"
Voldemort's soul fragment finally snapped.
He strained to protrude halfway out of the back of Quirrell's head, raised the yew wand (Quirrell's wand, though in the previous context it might be a temporary one as Voldemort doesn't have the Elder Wand yet, assuming standard lore or previous chapter context), and aimed it at Ivan standing on the high platform.
"Potter! How dare you humiliate me with this... this tin monster! Avada Kedavra!"
A blinding green light erupted instantly, illuminating the entire underground corridor.
Snape instinctively moved to raise a shield, but Ivan pressed a hand on his shoulder.
"Professor, don't move." Ivan even had time to pull out a... Muggle smartphone? No, it was an alchemically modified "Magic Camcorder."
"Watch closely. This is called 'Physical Reflection'."
Ivan blew gently at the green light.
"Word Soul · Mirror Reflection · Enhanced."
There was no earth-shattering explosion.
The green light, capable of killing anyone, stopped dead one meter in front of Ivan as if it had hit an invisible mirror.
It paused.
Then, it returned along its original path at double the speed!
"What?!" For the first time, genuine fear appeared in Voldemort's red eyes. "Impossible! This is unblockable—"
Boom!
The green light slammed precisely into Professor Quirrell's face.
Or more accurately, into Professor Quirrell's... eyebrows and beard.
Flames ignited instantly.
Quirrell let out an inhuman scream and rolled on the ground.
Because Voldemort's soul was so close, he was grazed by the aftershock of the green light. His already ethereal body became even more transparent, like an old photograph soaked in water.
The smoke cleared.
Ivan walked up to the scorched-faced Quirrell, squatted down, and used his wand to flick away the hand covering his face.
"Tsk tsk, tragic." Ivan shook his head. "Tom, the quality of this host is terrible. Look, eyebrows gone, beard toasted. You look like a... freshly boiled egg."
Quirrell (or rather, Voldemort) tremblingly touched his own face.
Smooth.
Unprecedentedly smooth.
Not a single hair remained!
> [System Alert: Voldemort (Soul Fragment) (Appearance Anxiety + Extreme Rage + Confusion over the term "Boiled Egg"): Emotion Value +666!]
"I'll kill you!!" Voldemort screamed, trying to gather magic again.
"Stop."
Ivan raised the "Magic Camcorder" in his hand.
The screen displayed Voldemort's current visage: face pale as paper, bald, no eyebrows, red eyes smoking.
It was a classic horror villain look, but without eyebrows, it looked incredibly comical, perhaps even a bit... cute?
"Don't move, the lighting is best from this angle."
Ivan pressed the shutter.
Click!
The flash went off (using a Lumos Maxima spell).
"You... what did you do?" Voldemort had a bad feeling.
"This is my newly developed app—'Magic TikTok'." Ivan turned the screen toward Voldemort. "Look, this is you right now. I added a filter called 'Hellfire · Beauty Mode'. Auto-skin smoothing, auto-eye enlargement."
On the screen, the eyebrow-less Voldemort was opening his mouth ferociously, but under the filter, he looked somewhat... pitiful and aggrieved?
Paired with the text Ivan just added: "Fam, who gets it? Beaten to tears by a first-year elementary schooler. Waiting online, it's urgent."
"This... this is sorcery!" Voldemort trembled with rage. "Delete it! Immediately!"
"Delete it?" Ivan raised an eyebrow. "This is exclusive footage. Do you know how many likes your photo already has on the Hogwarts intranet?"
He showed the numbers on the screen to Voldemort:
Likes: 10,233
Comments: 2,450
"Is this the Dark Lord? Love it, love it! He looks so cute without eyebrows!" — A Gryffindor Passerby
"Link please! Want the same bald look!" — Fred Weasley
"Am I the only one who thinks that kid's (Ivan) hands are beautiful?" — A Ravenclaw Senior
Voldemort looked at the comments and almost spat out a mouthful of old blood (if he had blood).
This wasn't just humiliation; it was social death!
He, the great Dark Lord, had become a "Comedy Influencer" at Hogwarts?!
"I will destroy this world!!" Voldemort raised his wand, wanting to blow up the camcorder.
"Woof!"
Mechanical Fluffy bit down on Voldemort's wrist (it could bite spiritual bodies because Ivan installed Soul Teeth).
"Behave." Ivan patted the mechanical dog's head and looked at Voldemort. "Tom, let's make a deal. You help me film a few tutorial videos teaching everyone 'How to properly use Avada Kedavra'—of course, for life hacks like lighting candles or slicing fruit. In return, I won't send this photo to the Daily Prophet, nor project your current look onto the Tower Bridge in London."
Voldemort stared dead at Ivan. If hatred could kill, Ivan would have died ten thousand times.
But he looked at the sparking mechanical dog beside him, then at his own weak, spiritual hands.
He realized that right now, he really couldn't beat this cheater.
"You... what do you want me to do?" Voldemort gritted his teeth, his voice squeezed out from hell.
"Simple." Ivan turned on the recording function. "Face the camera, make a peace sign. Then say: 'Hello everyone, I'm Tom, today I'll teach you a life hack...'"
Voldemort: "..."
Ten Minutes Later.
The Great Hall, Hogwarts.
Above every student's dining table, a massive magical projection suddenly appeared (Ivan hacked Peeves's manifestation system).
In the video, the eyebrow-less, bald Quirrell held his wand with a look of utter despair.
Ivan's voice came from off-camera: "Yes, smile happier. Come on, 3, 2, 1, Action!"
Quirrell (Voldemort) stiffly raised his hand, made an extremely awkward "V" sign, and said in a trembling voice:
"H... Hello everyone. I am... Tom. Today I teach you... using the Killing Curse... to slice lemons. Fam... double tap 666..."
Dead silence.
One second later.
BOOM!!
The entire Great Hall exploded!
"Merlin! Is that the Dark Lord?!"
"Is he making a peace sign?! He's actually making a peace sign?!"
"That voice is so cute! Is it a shota voice?!"
"Ivan Potter caught the Dark Lord to film short videos?! This is too ridiculous!!"
Harry spilled pumpkin juice all over himself, Ron's chin fell into his soup, and Hermione's book hit the floor.
Snape sat at the High Table, the wine glass in his hand shattered, red wine flowing through his fingers, but he didn't notice.
He looked at the forced-to-work Voldemort in the projection, then at Ivan's "I'm the Director" face beside him.
"This kid..." Snape muttered low, the corners of his mouth uncontrollably curling up wildly. "Is this kid a devil..."
In the corner of the Great Hall.
Dumbledore was digging into his pudding with a spoon, watching the projection overhead.
"My, my," Dumbledore blinked. "Young people these days are so creative. This is much more interesting than that 'For the Greater Good' speech Gellert and I came up with back in the day."
He pulled out his wand and tapped the projection.
"Tipping function, activate."
In the next second, a massive gold coin rain effect appeared under the projection.
> [Dumbledore tipped 10,000 Galleons and left a message: Tom, don't go out until your eyebrows grow back. Ugly reject.]
Voldemort watched the coin rain and listened to Dumbledore's message.
In this moment, he didn't want to rule the world anymore.
He just wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl into, or twist Ivan Potter's head off and kick it like a ball.