Worry not, Darkness lovers! I have heard your prayers, and have answered!
Enjoy!
I sat in the interrogation room of the small jail, located a kilometre out of Axel.
The door opened, and though through it stepped two full fully armoured knights, followed by the young female officer.
"Good morning, Sena,"
She blinked, not expecting to be referred to by name, especially when she had never told me it.
The doors let through a surprising amount of sound.
Hmm. Mid-twenties is too old. Early-twenties, maybe even 19.
She took a moment and gathered her composer composure before speaking.
"Do you know what this is?" she asked, placing a small bell on the table I was cuffed to, "It's a magic item that can see through any lies. When lies are spoken, the bell rings,"
I see. I'll have to be careful with my wording.
Thanks for the heads up, I guess.
"Satou Kazuma. Age sixteen, working as an adventurer. Your Job is that of a 'Ranger'… So, state your place of birth, and what you were doing before you started adventuring,"
I want to test this magic bell. Does it work by what is fact, or what the speaker believes is the truth?
"Did you hear about the Winter Shogun?" I asked pleasantly, ignoring her question.
"I heard it was defeated by a strong adventurer," she answered instinctively, before narrowing her eyes, "Wait, you didn't answer my question,"
I smiled.
Perfect.
"Sorry, sorry. I come from Earth, that's where I was born," the bell stayed silent, "And before becoming an adventurer? I was a student,"
She looked to the bell, where it sat, silent.
"Tell me something, Sena, do you think I'm particularly strong? I reckon I'm doing pretty good,"
She deadpanned.
"No, I don't think you're particularly strong. Nor do I care,"
Woops, forgot to test if it works on others, rather than just me.
I looked straight into her violet eyes.
"How often do you masturbate?"
"Huh? I-I d-don't-"
Ring
I laughed.
"Naughty Sena. Shouldn't you set a good example?"
"I'm sorry," I said with a smirk "please continue your interrogation,"
She visibly fought the flush in her cheeks.
"Why did you become an adventurer?" she asked after a moment.
"For fun,"
She again looked at the silent bell.
"Do you bear any grudges against the governor?"
I laughed.
"Well I do now, y'know, considering he's trying to get me executed. Before yesterday, I had never even heard of him,"
Silence.
"Very well. Do-"
"Look, I'm just gonna cut to the chase," I said with an eye-roll, "I do not work for the Demon King, his army, or any of his associates. The call I allegedly made was to protect myself and the people around me, and was not meant with any hostile intent,"
Her eyes flicked to the still un-ringing bell.
She sighed.
"I see. I apologise. It seems I was deeply mistaken. I let rumours get in the way of doing my job correctly,"
"Rumours?" I groaned, "Was it from a guy called Mitsurugi? Tall, blond, with expensive blue armour?"
She nodded.
I sighed.
"That jackass has it out for me,"
I really should kill him off.
"If you don't mind me asking, why did he tell me such rumours?"
"He seemed to think that Aqua, the blue haired girl in my party, was being mistreated, and decided it was his responsibility to help her, despite what she told him. He seems to think that every girl wants him, considering he offered the other women in my party places in his party. So we duelled. I beat him fair and square, despite being 30 levels under, took his enchanted sword as spoils, and sold it,"
The bell was silent.
She stood and bowed.
"I am very sorry Kazuma-san. I trusted scum like him before even asking your opinion,"
I waved off her apology. "Don't worry about it. Hey, think you could help me with something that definitely isn't hiding Mitsurugi's body?"
She snickered lightly.
"Okay," she said, "There are just a few more questions I need you to answer, then you can go free. You have no relations with anyone in the Demon King army, right?"
"No. I-"
Ring
Her eyes hardened.
Wiz.
"God fucking dammit. I can explain that; I didn't think of-"
"Explain it to the court,"
Bitch.
I was quickly escorted back to my cell.
With nothing else to do, I practiced fine control of my magic, did some physical exercise, then, when it became night-time, I lay laid in bed to get some sleep.
A tremor passed through the ground beneath me.
"Psst! Kazuma, over here!" Aqua whispered.
She was at the singular barred window.
I got up and walked over to her.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered back up to her, the window 2 two and a half metres off the ground.
"I'm here to save you! Megumin and Darkness are off creating a diversion to attract the attention of the guards,"
"And how am I gonna escape through solid iron?"
"Here!" she whispered, handing me a long piece of wire, "Use that to pick the lock on your cell door! Just like a manga! Then you can use your 'Hide' skills and sneak past the guards! I'll be waiting outside, and then we'll go back to the mansion, get all our stuff, and escape! Do you understand?"
I looked at the wire in my hands.
Then the door.
Then back at Aqua.
"That's a combination lock."
Her eyes widened.
"Drat! They're smarter than I thought. Alright then, it's good I had a plan B! Take this saw, and we'll cut through the bars for you to escape!" she said, handing me a small hand saw.
"The bars are too high for me to reach though,"
"Don't worry! I've got a stepping stool for you to use!"
"How are you going to get it through the bars?"
"Eh? Um, one moment please,"
Fucking idiot.
"Please sir! It's very important for Kazuma to have this stool!"
Are you serious?
"What? Why would a prisoner need a stool so bad? And what are you doing here this late at night? Get out of here!"
After a minute, a mopey Aqua reappeared at the window.
"I'm sorry Kazuma. I couldn't get it in. I don't know what to do!" she said, getting progressively more upset.
"It's okay Aqua. I have a plan. Instead of breaking out, I just need to win the court case,"
"B-but Darkness said the Governor is despicable and petty person! He'll use his influence to twist the facts to get you killed!" she said, nearly in tears.
"Then we use his influence against him! If everyone in the capital thinks I'm innocent and being held unfairly, they'll have to let me go, or the public outcry will lose him his job! Head to the capital and spread the word! Use my family name too! There was another hero called 'Satou', right?"
"You're right! You're a genius Kazuma! I'll ask everyone if they've seen you, then when they ask who you are, I'll tell them all the great stuff you've done!"
That… That's very clever. Pity and righteous anger and nostalgia.
"Yes! Take Megumin and Darkness with you, then wait by the entrance for when I arrive! We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, I heard, so be ready by midday,"
She nodded vigorously.
"Okay Kazuma. I will get you free, I swear it on my divinity," she said, eyes on mine with an unending degree of determination.
With her piece spoken, she turned and ran home.
When it comes to court in this world, there are no lawyers.
The prosecutor collects evidence to present to the Judge, and the accused is defended by a representative, usually a friend or family.
If the judge concludes that the charges are true, he will pass judgement.
I had arrived at the capital in a cage, drawn behind horses and flanked on all sides by guards.
Aqua, Megumin and Darkness had been waiting on the main road just after the gate, where the town was busiest.
"Satou Kazuma! Satou Kazuma! What's going on?" Aqua yelled fearfully as she ran towards me, "They have to let you go! You saved everyone, so why are you in a cage?" she said, tears running freely.
Whispers from the crowd broke out. They had heard of me already.
A guard moved to intercept her.
"Don't you touch her!" Darkness screamed at him, jumping forward, "First you arrest our party member, a hero of everyone in Axel, then you try to hurt a crying young girl? Does your corrupted mind know no bounds?!"
The whispers grew louder, bolder.
That was smooth.
Maybe Darkness is worth more than just a meat-shield.
"He saved us all!" Megumin yelled from the street, "Let him go!"
The townsfolk grew louder and the guards grew more anxious.
"Is it true?" an old man asked as he stepped forward. The crowd quietenedquieted, listening to the man. "You are Satou Kazuma?"
I nodded.
"I heard about you… You defeated the Destroyer. That thing killed my wife., and Mmy children and their children live in Axel,"
He walked up to the cage, a tear forming.
"I can never thank you enough,"
Oh my. Thank you for stepping so close.
I smiled kindly, and stretched out a hand.
He reached forward with his own.
"Enough!" A guard yelled, stepping forward and pushing the man bodily away from the cage I was locked in.
He cried in surprise as he fell, then pain as he landed.
The crowd was shocked into silence.
Then the uproar began.
My party mates were sprinkled into the crowd, both Aqua and Darkness falling back into it as the old man stepped forward.
They shouted, spurring others in the crowd to follow their lead, their emotional cries motivating the people around them.
Chants started up among the people.
"FREE HIM! FREE HIM! FREE HIM!"
"UNJUST! UNJUST! UNJUST!"
It has begun.
The stupid governor doesn't stand a chance.
"ORDER! Order in the court!" the judge screamed over the chanting masses.
The yelling died down slowly.
The judge sighed before turning to me.
"The trial of Satou Kazuma of Axel, against the plaintiff Alexei Barnes Alderp, begins now! Please know that lie detection magic is in use" he said, motioning at to the bell in front of him.
A fat man stood up with the vocal que of the judge.
He was tall and bulky, his balding head shiny. A middle-aged man covered in body hair.
He eyed me warily, but quickly his gaze shifted to my female companions, slowing taking in their figures.
Megumin, then Aqua, then Darkness.
But on Darkness, he paused.
He blinked in surprise, and… was that recognition?
He knows her. He is wary of her.
I need to keep that in mind.
"Satou Kazuma, you stand here accused of treason. Who do you wish to stand as your representative?"
"I will represent myself. These are my associates, and witnesses," I answered professionally gesturing at the three women behind me.
"Very well. Sena Hitomi of the Royal Guard (She doesn't actually have a family name, so I gave her the same one as her voice actor). You stand as the prosecutor. Please present your case,"
She nodded.
"The accused; Satou Kazuma, took part with other adventurers in the battle against the Destroyer when it approached the town of Axel. During the battle, he gave the order to send the Coronatite core, that was going to explode, away via teleportation. Moments later, the Coronatite appeared in the mansion of the plaintiff. Said mansion was completely destroyed. Right now, lord Alderp is forced to live at an inn within the city," she stated firmly.
"When transporting monsters, drugs and dangerous items such as explosives," she continued, "the use of random teleportation is prohibited. It is stated clearly in the law, and the instruction given out by the accused clearly violates this law. Also, threatening the life of the governor could potentially shake the foundation of the nation. Hence, the prosecution requests for the accused to be found guilty of treason!"
The judge nodded in understanding.
He turned to me.
"I grant permission for the defendant and his associates to speak. You may now plead your case,"
"Thank you. Once we had disabled the Destroyer, through a plan of my own making, it let out a warning. The reactor, a Coronatite core, was approaching critical temperatures. By stopping its movement, it was no longer able to vent the heat created by its reactor,"
I looked around at the crowd.
"By saving the town, I had doomed it to destruction in a different way. We didn't know how powerful the destruction caused by the core would be. For all we knew, it could wipe the entire town from existence. So instead of evacuating, I lead a team of adventurers aboard the downed Destroyer. Once we got on top of it, we discovered the captain's quarters, and discovered through his journal that he was literally a stupid no-life who had taken pleasure in the destruction of his nation. I found the core after a few minutes, but I had no way to stop it, or cool it down sufficiently. Fortunately, we had with us a powerful Arch-Wizard by the name of Wiz, who had access to the 'Teleport' skill. Unfortunately, the only targets available were; Axel, here in the capital, on into the dungeon,"
I looked into the eyes of the judge.
"I could either leave it be, let it kill myself," I said, thumb pointed onto my chest, "my friends," I waved an arm behind me, "and everyone else at Axel, or I teleport it to random area. With no other viable options, I told Wiz to use a random teleport. Probability says it should land in an area untouched by man, but I wasn't so lucky. It instead landed in governor Alderp's mansion,"
I looked at the man.
"It's very lucky that his mansion was completely vacant, with the exception of governor Alderp, who was safely inside his basement, so there were no deaths and no injuries,"
I looked back to the judge.
"In my eyes, this is a nearly perfect outcome, and I would do so again to protect those around me. My decision was justified, and I am not guilty,"
The judge looked at the bell, which had remained totally silent.
"Prosecutor? You may now present your evidence,"
"First witness! Please take the stand!"
Up to the stand came Chris, who was hurried along by the guards.
She stood quietly, nervously scratching at the thin scar on her face.
"The accused here used the skill 'Steal' against you, stripping you of your panties in public. Is that correct?"
"Um, yes. But it wasn't inte-"
"You only need to clarify the truthfulness of the statement. Nothing more is needed,"
Cheeky bitch.
"Objection! The prosecutor is withholding necessary information in the form of context!" I yelled.
The judge looked at me.
"Sustained,"
"Chris here is a friend of mine. She was kind enough to teach me some of the thief skills when I was starting out as an adventurer. One of said skills was 'Steal'. She, after demonstrating it on myself, allowed me to try it on her in return. The 'Steal' skill gives you one item in possession of the target based on luck, and what the target finds value in. The fact that the resulting item was her panties, which I swiftly returned, by the way, was due to random chance. The only one you can blame for that is Eris-sama herself,"
Everyone looked to the bell.
It stayed silent.
The judge then looked to Chris.
"Is what he said correct? Do you hold any disdain for the accused?"
"Yes,," she responded firmly, "he is correct," she responded firmly,. "I hold no disdain for him at all. In fact, he is a close friend,"
He nodded.
"Prosecutor, you are to allow witnesses to give full statements from now on,"
She bowed.
"Yes, your honour. Please bring forward the second witness!"
Mitsurugi, because of course it was him, made his way to the podium.
"Mitsurugi-san," Sena began, "I heard your magic sword was stolen by the accused and later sold. Is this true?"
"Yeah! He stole my sword when I tried to protect his 'friend'" he said, making air quotes, "who he had trapped in a cage!"
Oh. You are definitely gonna die.
The bell rung.
The judge looked at Mitsurugi.
"Something you said was false. What was it?" he asked.
"I didn't lie," Mitsurugi denied.
Ring
The crowd whispered.
"Your honour?" I spoke, getting his attention, "I can answer that,"
"Proceed,"
"He lied about two things. I didn't steal his sword. I won it, fair and square. And second, Aqua," I said, gesturing at her, "wasn't trapped. In a quest to purify a lake, we had used it to keep her protected from the monsters. Afterwards, she was 'too tired'" I said with air quotes of my own, "to walk like the rest of us. Upon re-entering town, Mitsurugi saw us, and took it upon himself to 'free' her, bending away the bars of the cage, costing us a significant amount in the process. He then challenged me, who was 30 levels lower, to a duel, where he would take Aqua as his prize, regardless of her desire to stay,"
Try get outta that one, fuck-head.
"I accepted the duel, on the rule that it be hand-to-hand combat only. I then thoroughly beat him, knocked him unconscious, and took his sword as my own prize. The sword ended up being cursed. It was only usable in Mitsurugi's hands, so I sold it so that I may get some reward out of it,"
The judge looked to the bell once more, then nodded.
"Mitsurugi-san, due to lying in court, you are expelled from this session and fined 200,000 Eris,"
"What?! That's not fair!"
Ring
"That bastard stole my sword!"
Ring
"Guards? Please escort Mitsurugi-san from the court,"
Two guards appeared, and began the process of dragging the man out the door, who all the while was screaming obscenities.
"And what's with all this 'evidence'?" I asked with air quotes, "None of it is to do with the subject at all! You're just tryna make me out as a bad person!"
"You want evidence?" she asked, "When asked if you have any associates in the Demon King army, you answered no, but the bell detected a lie! You're also able to use the 'Drain Touch' skill, a skill only available to the undead!"
Good thing I'd prepared for this.
"First; 'Drain Touch'. My job is 'Ranger', which means I am able to learn any skill, regardless of the other's job. I have been exposed to countless undead. Beldia, the general of the Demon King army we defeated, his minions, all the evil spirits that appeared in our house, and Keele, the creator of Keele's dungeon. You don't think I could have learnt it from one of them?" I explained casually.
"Secondly; my associate in the Demon King army,"
Everyone waited for my answer.
"She's something of a spy,"
The bell was quiet, but the court was not.
"A spy?!" Sena yelled, "You must reveal who she is at once!"
"No,"
The fat fuck named Alderp stood.
"He's hiding it from us! He tried to kill me! Sentence him to death!"
"I am not working with the Demon King army. There. If she," I gestured at Sena, "wants to accuse me by Bell, then that invalidates any evidence she has,"
"Satou Kazuma-san," Sena addressed me, "You must reveal who your spy is,"
"No. She has saved countless lives already. I will not put her in danger,"
"Put him to death!" Alderp screamed.
The judge sighed.
"Due to a lack of substantial incriminating evidence, and overwhelming evidence against; I hereby find Satou Kazuma innocent of all-"
"Put. Him. To. Death!" Alderp screamed at the judge.
Sena seemed unsure of her position, "N-no one was hurt. Surely the death penalty is too much,"
Alderp glared at her.
"No, surely the death penalty is most appropriate,"
Foul play.
Despite having said the words herself, she seemed surprised and confused by the words that left her mouth.
Magic?
Seems this Alderp fuck could be more dangerous than I thought.
"Kazuma! Kazuma!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"
"I detect an evil presence! Someone is using dark magic to twist thought and fact!"
Definitely Alderp. Or someone who's using him.
The judge cleared his throat, Ignoring ignoring Aqua's outburst.
Defendant Satou Kazuma. Taking into account your inhumane actions and your disruption of the peace; "I find the sentence motioned by the prosecutor to be adequate. The accused is found guilty and sentenced to death!"
"Foul play!" screamed a member of the crowd.
"Let him go!"
"He's a hero!"
"UNJUST!"
"FREE HIM!"
"ORDER!" the judge screamed, "Order in the court!"
The chanting lowered in volume, but it was still, ever present.
"Your honour, please take a look at this," Darkness said over the crowd.
From her chest, she produced and exposed a pendant.
High quality, with an insignia upon its face.
The judge, and crowd, were shocked into silence.
My my, why didn't you tell me you had a rich and powerful family Darkness? I would have made you the happiest girl in the world.
But now it's too late. My behaviour is already too well established.
Eh, I'm still her friend, I guess, so I can get benefits from that.
"Pardon me, could you suspend the trial for me?" Darkness said in a regal tone, "I don't wish to get the prosecutor to throw the case out. I just need time to prove that this man is not a minion of the demon king army, and is innocent. In the meantime, he can gather funds to repair your mansion,"
Alderp protested weakly, barely managing words.
"Alderp. As the victim in all this, you could count this as me owing you a favour. If it is within my means, I can do anything for you. I am not asking you to withdraw the charges, I just hope you can wait a while longer,"
He gulped.
"A-anything?"
His lecherous eyes followed her figure, up, then down.
I am going to carve this man to pieces. Slowly.
"Yes, anything,"
"Alright. Upon your request, I will extend the date of the trial,"
Piece by bloody piece he will fall apart.
"You shouldn't have done that Darkness,"
"It was the only option,"
"No it wasn't!" I yelled at her, "You don't need to offer up your body to scum like that! I could have gotten out somehow! I could have escaped! The public certainly would have helped me! But instead you're sacrificing yourself," I said in 'outrage'.
She grabbed my arms and held them by my sides.
"Kazuma," she said quietly, "Don't worry. Let me help properly this time, okay?"
"I- I jus-" I stopped and took a breath. "Okay Darkness. And don't you worry, I'll get you a way out of doing that,"
She smiled, and wrapped me in a hug, one I returned.
"So," I asked, after she broke off the hug, "Where'd you steal that necklace from?"
"Wh- I didn't steal it!" she deniedstammered in denial.
I snickered.
She batted an arm at me.
"Really though, what does it symbolize?"
"It means I'm a member of the Dustiness Ford family. We are seconded only to the Royal Family in terms of wealth and political power,"
I let out a low whistle.
"And that Alderp fucker knew you from there?"
"Eh? You don't want anything because of my family?"
"My opinions of you remain the same, regardless of your family. You're still a filthy masochist in my eyes,"
She supressed a moan.
God fucking dammit.
"So? Alderp knew you?"
"Ah! Right! Yes. Since his wife died, he's had an unhealthy obsession with me. He's asked my father to marry me numerous times,"
"By Eris, how desperate is he?!" Megumin exclaimed.
"Very, it would seem," I answered.
"So," Aqua began, "What do we do now?"
"We need money. I have quite a bit, but not nearly enough to rebuild a mansion. I don't just have 10 billion Eris laying around. And Aqua, you said you saw dark magic? Do you know what kind? And from where?"
"I didn't see where, but it was definitely demonic magic. Real demonic magic. Not some substitute from an undead, but from a real devil," she answered.
"And he definitely knew about it," I said, "Almost certainly controlling it too,"
They all nodded.
"Well," Megumin said, "We've got lots more time now, so why don't we worry about getting money first, and we can work on proving he's evil while we do it,"
I smiled and pet her head lightly.
"Sounds like a plan. Alright gang, how's about we head home?"
My first stop after getting home was to visit Wiz.
I wanted to go alone, but Aqua wouldn't take the hint, and kept following me around.
"Ah, I get it! She caused you all this trouble with that teleport spell, so you're gonna rob her blind, right?"
I rolled my eyes.
I appreciate the enthusiasm, and the idea, but no.
"No, we're not robbing her. Not this time, at least," Aqua looked disappointed, "Wiz is a Lich, and has been alive on this planet for who knows how long. Which means, she'll have contacts. She'll know the kind of people who can get us money fast,"
"Oohhh. I see, I see,"
We opened the front door and stepped through.
"Hello! Welcome to my- Ah! Kazuma-san! You're okay! I'm so sorry you got arrested because of me," Wiz said.
Aqua crossed her arms under her bust. "So long as you understand,"
"Aqua," I said in warning.
She raised her hands in surrender and let me speak.
"Hello Wiz. Don't worry, it was my call to teleport the stone. Unfortunately, we are now stuck having to pay for the governor's mansion. But," I trailed off, "We don't really have the funds,"
Wiz looked at us with sympathy.
"I would help you pay, I really would, but I'm barely scrapping by with my shop as-is. I can't afford to help you,"
"Don't worry. I understand that, and I don't expect you to pay. I came here for a different reason,"
She looked at me curiously.
"You've been 'alive' for a long time Wiz, and I feel that you would have… connections to certain people that may be able to help us,"
Her eyes widened in understanding.
"I have many ideas for things I can produce to increase quality of life in this world, but I don't have the means to create then all, or in sufficient quantities. Do you perhaps know someone who could?"
"I do. But he is… unpredictable, to say the least. I knew him back in my army days. He ended up becoming another of the Demon King's generals, in fact. The Duke of Hell, Vanir,"
"Hey Kazuma! Is Darkness back yet?" Aqua asked me.
It had been a couple of days since the hearing.
I was currently working on creating a design plan for a steam engine. In my past life, I had memorised the plans for some of the most influential technological advancements during the Industrial Revolution, like the steam engine and the loom, in the meagre hope that I be transported to another world and become incredibly rich.
Seems my delusional dedication was paying off.
Darkness had set off last night, stating that she would go and fulfil her favour.
I had tried to stop her, but she had refused my help, and left by herself.
It had been some time since then.
Eh. I didn't don't control her.
Not yet at least.
If she wanted to sleep with the sleazy fucker then that was her choice.
I shook my head no at Aqua's question, and went back to my design.
Megumin entered the room, hugging something to her chest.
It mewled.
A cat?
I turned to Megumin.
I looked at the cat.
It was a black ball of fluff. Small and lithe with a near-red cross on its forehead.
I looked back at Megumin, but she remained silent.
"What? You want to keep it?"
She nodded.
"Yes. She's well behaved, and won't cause trouble for anyone… Is it okay to keep her here?"
"Uhh… I guess so? I don't think anyone has a cat allergy, so it should be fine," I said as I stood and walked over.
I held out a hand, fingers pointed down and palm towards me, and let her catch my scent.
She sniffed at my hand, then playfully batted at my fingers, claws carefully retracted.
She blinked at me lazily as I lifted my fingers and drew them through her soft fur, dragging them across her scalp and behind her ears.
She purred in response.
Aqua came over and attempted to offer the same treatment, but was immediately met with claws.
I like this cat.
"That hurts! Why is this cat only clawing me! What is going on? be Be it the black fur, or that arrogant attitude… I can feel the flames of evil emitting from the body of this cat!"
I ignored her, a very important skill I had developed over the past few weeks.
"What's her name?" I asked, carefully taking her into my arms.
"Chomusuke,"
Huh?
"Come again?"
"Her name is Chomusuke,"
I sucked a breath in through my teeth.
You poor, poor, kitty. Must be tough having such a weirdo as an owner.
I grabbed some leftover fish, and placed it on the floor, along with 'Chomusuke'.
She didn't eat it immediately, but sniffed at it curiously.
"I… I don't think that name suits her terribly well, honestly,"
"No. Her name is Chomusuke,"
Sorry buddy, I tried.
Aqua then started posing different names to Megumin, all of which she denied without hesitation.
Then Chomusuke spit fire at the piece of fish, cooking it.
She then took it in her mouth and began eating.
Excuse me?
"Um," I whispered to Aqua, "Do, uh, cats breathe fire in this world?"
"Huh? Of course not! It's just a cat!"
Oh.
It definitely breathed fire just now though.
I grabbed more fish, and knelt, offering it to Chomusuke.
She sniffed once more, but turned her head away.
I used my magic and conjured a small flame, slowly cooking the meat.
Without stopping the flow of mana, I offered it to the cat.
Now much eager, she took the fish from my hand, completely unaffected by the fire, and began eating.
That's… something.
Definitely something.
"Huh,"
I began petting her again, with more purrs as a response.
"What were you guys talking about before, anyway? Darkness isn't a ked kid anymore. It's not like you have to worry about her," Megumin asked.
"Didn't you see the looks the governor was giving her? She's gone going to do him a 'favour',"
"Well, I did hear some bad rumours about him, but Darkness is an adventurer. I doubt she'll just let him have his way with her,"
Has she met Darkness?
I raised an eyebrow.
She looked confused for a moment, before realisation flashed across her face.
"We- We have to save her! Darkness is in danger! What do we do Kazuma?!"
"She left last night. It's already too late. When she gets back, we'll just have to treat her as gently as possible,"
She nodded frantically, her face pale in helplessness.
"Satou Kazuma! Is Satou Kazuma here?!" yelled a feminine voice from the front door.
Sena barged through the door, pushing her way inside.
"Hey! You're trespassing! Get out of my house!" I yelled in return.
"Eh? Err, sorry," she replied, backing up until she was outside.
I walked up to the door, but remained inside.
"What do you want?"
Her face was red, and her shoulders shook in anger.
"What I want," she said, barely containing her rage.
It was actually kinda funny how angry she was.
"is for you to be arrested! I can't believe you had the gall to cause another mess,"
Huh?
"The fuck are you talking about? I got out of court two days ago, and since then I've spent every waking second trying to build the funds necessary to rebuild the house of that petty, lecherous, old fuck for a 'crime' that wasn't my fucking fault. And you have the 'gall' to blame me for something else? What fucking mess are you even talking about?!"
She was startled by my outburst, but quickly regained her composure.
"The toads! All of the giant toads come out of hibernation early, and their they're all running amuck outside town!" she yelled back.
"Oh, so now I have the ability to control the hibernation patterns of frogs, do I?" I laughed at her, "Please inform me of when I was granted access to this incredible ability!"
"Well, according to the Guild staff, the toads came out of hibernation, scared. Startled. Maybe by large shockwaves going off near where they rested?"
God.
Fucking.
Dammit.
Breathe in.
And breathe out.
I turned around to the two women that were slowly slinking away.
I grabbed their collars and hauled them around to the door.
"Go," I told them, "Go fix the mess you made,"
"Wait! Let me explain!" Megumin bargained, "I only did it because Aqua asked me to! She was the mastermind behind it all! Not me!"
"Wha? How sly! Weren't you super excited? You even said 'Let me show you my power!' in a dramatic voice and everything!"
"I said; 'Go fix the mess you made'!"
"Noo-! I don't wanna get eaten by toooaads!" Aqua screamed as she ran.
"To think the toads would still be so mobile, even in this whetherweather. They're quite impressive, really," I mused aloud.
"Conditions are harsh in this part of the world. Everything must adapt if it wishes to survive, including us," Megumin said.
It would seem like very wise words, if not for Megumin's position, submerged up to her shoulders in a toad's mouth.
I could see small bumps on the skin of the toad at roughly her foot height.
Was she standing on her staff?
Megumin had become over-excited, and used 'Explosion', rendering her helpless as a toad decided she looked like a good meal.
I sighed.
"Hold on," I told her, drawing my sword, "I'll get you out,"
She shook her head.
"No, I'm fine. Go get Aqua first. It's nice and warm in here,"
I shrugged, and placed the blade back into the sheath, instead drawing the recurve bow from my back.
I pulled an arrow from the quiver behind my right shoulder, and nocked it, drawing it back.
"One of your party is being chased around by toads, and the other is being eaten," Sena exclaimed in disbelief, "How are you still so calm?"
"Eh. This is pretty much the norm at this point,"
"Kazuma-ha-ha! Save me already!"
I let the arrow fly, silently using 'Snipe' as I released it.
The arrow struck true, lodging solidly through the toad's eye. It died immediately, but its momentum carried it forward, and it fell to the ground with a mighty crash.
Aqua slowly moved back to the group, breathing heavily.
"Th… Thank you Kazuma," she said, finishing with a sigh.
"Umm, I don't mean to alarm you," Megumin said from within the toad, "but there are more toads coming,"
I turned.
Three more toads were making their way towards us.
I growled.
I quickly returned my bow to my back, and pointed my palm at the earth.
Or more accurately, the snow.
I pushed my mana through my skin and into the world, directing it into the snow beneath my feet. I turned on my heal, dragging the snow with me, accelerating, and compacting it. I threw the newly created spike of ice at the toad containing Megumin.
It pierced the skin with ease, continuing through it bodily, barely slowing.
The toad died near instantly, and I quickly helped Megumin out of its mouth, and onto my back once it had fallen to the floor.
I turned and drew my sword with one hand, the other supporting Megumin on my back.
"'Saber of Light'!" cried a feminine voice.
The far-left toad was covered in a gentle white glow for a moment, before it vanished, and the toad split down the centre, neatly bisected.
"'Energy Ignition'!" The voice called again, and this time, the remaining two toads ignited, fire spontaneously erupting from their flesh, searing it in moments, until they too, collapsed dead.
I looked to the origin of the voice.
A young girl, a littler older than Megumin.
She stood tall with apparel very similar to that of Megumin, but the similarities didn't stop there, as she shared a similar facial structure, hair colour and style, and glowing crimson eyes.
One thing that did differ was her figure.
Mmm.
I nodded my head to the girl in thanks, as she came over to us.
"Thanks," I said, once she was closer, "You really helped us out here,"
Her cheeks flushed and she hurried to deny it.
"I-i-it's not that I planned to save you, it just wouldn't be right to let my rival," she looked at Megumin, "go out because of some toads,"
"You and Megumin know each other?" Aqua asked in excitement.
"Rather than just know each other, we're rivals! Long-time no-see, Megumin! As promised, I have returned after completing my training! As you can see, I can use top level magic freely now! Alright, it's time to fulfil the promise I made! I will settle our long time rivalry today!" the girl exclaimed, pointing at Megumin excitedly.
"Who are you again?" she said.
I wacked the top of her head.
"Don't pretend like you don't know her! I can tell you're pretending,"
I could feel the pout, even if I couldn't see it.
She sighed, then began her explanation.
"This is Yunyun,"
Oh god, the names are so damn weird.
"While I was always number 1 one at the Crimson Magic Academy, Yunyun was always in second,"
"Right!" the newly named Yunyun confirmed, "I've just gotten back from my journey of training! Now I can freely use top-tier magic!"
That's very impressive.
And something I very much want.
"Well Yunyun, I have a proposition for you,"
She looked at me curiously.
"You are very skilled in the ways of magic," she flushed again, but didn't deny it, "How would you like to join my party?"