Chapter 1: Reincarnation Speedrun (Any% World Record Attempt)
The last thing I remembered was a truck. A very stereotypical, very cliché truck. And then... nothing.
Well, not nothing. There was a god. Or at least, someone claiming to be a god.
"Greetings, mortal soul!" boomed a voice that sounded like Morgan Freeman gargling marbles. "I am the Supreme Author, and you have died!"
"Yeah, I got that part," I said, or tried to say. I didn't have a mouth. Or a body. This was already going great.
"Fear not! For I shall grant you reincarnation into a world of wonder and adventure!"
Oh no. I knew where this was going. I'd read enough web novels during my life to know the drill.
"You shall be reborn in the Pokémon world!"
Called it.
"As a Pokémon yourself!"
Okay, that was actually kind of cool—
"Specifically, a Larvitar!"
Wait.
"Fifteen thousand years before the anime begins!"
WAIT.
"With the purest bloodline and a special cheat ability that—"
"HOLD ON A SECOND!" I mentally shouted. "Fifteen THOUSAND years?! What am I supposed to do for fifteen thousand years?! That's longer than human civilization! I'm going to be so bored I'll invent agriculture twice!"
"Ah, but you see," the Supreme Author said in a tone that suggested he was very pleased with himself, "pseudo-legendary Pokémon can live for hundreds of thousands of years! You'll be fine!"
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER! THAT MAKES IT WORSE!"
"Also, you'll grow ten thousand times faster than normal Pokémon!"
I paused my existential crisis. "...Wait, what?"
"Yes! Your cheat ability! You'll level up and grow ten thousand times faster! Normal pseudo-legendaries take years to gain even a single level, but you'll gain six to nine levels per day without even training!"
I did some quick mental math. Then I did it again because I didn't believe the answer. "That means I'd hit level 100 in like... two weeks?"
"Approximately eleven to seventeen days, yes!"
"And I have fifteen thousand years."
"Correct!"
"So I'm going to be a level 100 Tyranitar for basically all of recorded history."
"Precisely! Isn't that wonderful?"
"I'M GOING TO BE SO OVERPOWERED THAT NOTHING WILL BE CHALLENGING EVER!"
"I'm also giving you a status window like in the games!" the Supreme Author continued, completely ignoring my complaint. "You'll be able to see your level, nature, stats, everything!"
"Great. Fantastic. I can watch numbers go up for fifteen millennia."
"And you can mega evolve without a trainer!"
"Of course I can," I said flatly.
"And you can learn as many moves as you can remember! Not just four like in the games!"
"Why not? Sure. Pile it on. At this point, why don't you make me shiny too?"
"Oh, excellent idea! I'll make you shiny!"
"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"
"Too late! Enjoy your new life!"
And then everything went white.
I woke up to the sound of my own crying.
Well, not crying exactly. More like... squeaking? Chirping? Whatever noise a baby Larvitar makes when it's first born. It was high-pitched and pathetic and coming from my mouth.
My mouth.
I tried to open my eyes and immediately regretted it. Everything was bright and blurry and way too much. I squeezed them shut again.
Okay. Okay. Calm down. You're a Pokémon now. A Larvitar. You can handle this. Just... take stock of the situation.
I tried to move my arms and discovered I didn't really have arms. I had... stumpy little appendages? They were green. I was green. Well, more of a pale green. With some darker green bits.
Oh god, I'm shiny, I thought with horror. I look like an unripe avocado.
I tried to stand up and immediately fell over. Apparently, Larvitar don't have the best balance. Who knew? (Everyone. Everyone who's ever played Pokémon knew. They're literally shaped like a traffic cone.)
"LAAAAAAR!" I cried out in frustration, which came out as a squeaky baby noise.
And then I remembered. The status window!
Status! I thought desperately.
And just like that, a blue screen appeared in front of my eyes. An actual, literal game menu.
NAME: ??? (unnamed)
SPECIES: Larvitar (Shiny)
TYPE: Rock/Ground
LEVEL: 1
NATURE: ??? (not yet determined)
STATS:
HP: 50/50
Attack: 7
Defense: 6
Sp. Attack: 5
Sp. Defense: 6
Speed: 5
ABILITY: Guts (Hidden Ability Unlocked: Sand Stream)
MOVES:
Tackle
Leer
SPECIAL ABILITY: Growth Acceleration (10,000x)
STATUS: Healthy, Newly Hatched, Hungry, Existentially Confused
I stared at the screen. Then I stared at it some more.
"My stats are garbage," I said aloud, which came out as "Lar lar vitar tar."
Wait. Hungry?
As soon as I read that word, my stomach growled. Or whatever Larvitar have instead of stomachs. My entire body rumbled like a tiny earthquake.
I looked around for the first time, actually taking in my surroundings. I was in a cave. A dark, rocky cave that smelled like dirt and minerals. There were other eggs around me—regular green ones, not shiny pale ones like I'd apparently hatched from.
And in the corner, there was a pile of... rocks?
My stomach rumbled again, and suddenly those rocks looked delicious.
"No," I said to myself. "No, no, no. I'm not eating rocks. I used to be human. Humans don't eat rocks. That's not—"
My body moved on its own, waddling over to the rock pile with all the grace of a drunken bowling pin. Before I could stop myself, I grabbed a rock with my tiny mouth and bit down.
It was delicious.
It tasted like... like... okay, I don't know how to describe what rocks taste to a Larvitar, but it was amazing. Crunchy on the outside, with a nice mineral finish. This particular one had hints of iron with a subtle quartz aftertaste.
I couldn't stop myself. I devoured rock after rock, crunching through them like potato chips.
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 50 EXP!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 2!]
I stopped mid-chew. "I leveled up from eating rocks?"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 50 EXP!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 3!]
"FROM EATING?!"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 50 EXP!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 4!]
[NOTIFICATION: You learned Bite!]
I dropped the rock I was holding. "This is broken. This is absolutely broken. I'm gaining levels from EATING!"
But I couldn't stop. The rocks were too good. And I was so hungry. I kept eating, and the notifications kept coming.
[LEVEL UP! Level 5!]
[LEVEL UP! Level 6!]
[LEVEL UP! Level 7!]
[You learned Rock Throw!]
[LEVEL UP! Level 8!]
[LEVEL UP! Level 9!]
By the time I'd finished the entire pile of rocks—and I do mean the entire pile—I was level 12 and knew six moves.
I sat there, surrounded by rock dust and gravel, feeling like I'd just eaten an entire buffet.
"Okay," I said, my voice still coming out as Larvitar noises. "Okay. So. I've been alive for approximately... twenty minutes? And I'm already level 12. Normal Larvitar would take years to reach level 12."
I pulled up my status screen again.
NAME: ??? (unnamed)
SPECIES: Larvitar (Shiny)
TYPE: Rock/Ground
LEVEL: 12
NATURE: Hasty (+ Speed, - Defense)
STATS:
HP: 95/95
Attack: 28
Defense: 21
Sp. Attack: 19
Sp. Defense: 23
Speed: 22
ABILITY: Guts (Hidden Ability Unlocked: Sand Stream)
MOVES:
Tackle
Leer
Bite
Rock Throw
Scary Face
Sandstorm
SPECIAL ABILITY: Growth Acceleration (10,000x)
STATUS: Healthy, Full, Slightly Panicked
"Hasty nature," I muttered. "Of course. The universe has a sense of humor."
I tried to stand up again, and this time I actually managed it. My legs felt stronger. My whole body felt stronger. I was still shaped like a traffic cone, but now I was a powerful traffic cone.
"Alright," I said, waddling toward the cave entrance. "Let's see what this world has to offer. I've got fifteen thousand years to kill, and apparently I'm going to spend the first week becoming a god."
I stepped out of the cave and into the sunlight.
Big mistake.
The sun was bright. Like, really bright. I squeaked and stumbled backward, covering my eyes with my stubby arms.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 10 EXP from experiencing sunlight for the first time!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 13!]
"I GOT EXPERIENCE POINTS FROM LOOKING AT THE SUN?!"
This was going to be a long fifteen thousand years.
I spent the rest of the day exploring the area around my cave. Well, "exploring" is a generous term. Mostly I waddled around, crashed into things, ate more rocks, and watched my level increase at an absolutely stupid rate.
[Level UP! Level 14! You learned Rock Slide!]
[Level UP! Level 15!]
[Level UP! Level 16! You learned Chip Away!]
By sunset—which gave me another 10 EXP for "experiencing a sunset," because apparently this world rewards me for having working eyes—I was level 19.
I found a nice flat rock and sat down, pulling up my status screen for what had to be the hundredth time today.
"Level 19," I said to myself. "I've been alive for approximately eight hours, and I'm level 19. At this rate, I'll be a Tyranitar by the end of the week."
I looked up at the sky, where unfamiliar constellations were starting to appear.
"Supreme Author, if you can hear me," I said, "I just want you to know that this is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm going to be the most overpowered Pokémon in history, and I'm going to be so bored that I'll probably start doing weird things like arranging rocks into artistic patterns or inventing Pokémon philosophy or—"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 5 EXP for contemplating your existence!]
"—ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 20! You learned Screech!]
I screamed in frustration, which came out as an actual Screech attack that shattered three nearby rocks and probably lowered the defense of every Pokémon within a hundred meters.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 25 EXP for using a move in anger!]
"STOP REWARDING ME FOR EVERYTHING!"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 5 EXP for effective communication!]
I put my head in my hands—well, my stubby appendages against where my head would be if I had a neck—and groaned.
This was my life now. This was my life for the next fifteen thousand years.
I was going to become so powerful that I could probably punch a mountain in half by next Tuesday, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
"At least I'm shiny," I muttered sarcastically.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 5 EXP for self-acceptance!]
"I HATE EVERYTHING!"
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 21!]
DAY 2
I woke up to the sound of chirping. Not my own chirping—other Pokémon. Real ones. Native ones. Ones that hadn't been reincarnated from another world with cheat abilities.
I crawled out of the small cave I'd claimed as my own (after eating half of it, because apparently cave walls are delicious) and looked around.
There were Pidgey in the trees. Rattata scurrying through the underbrush. A Caterpie munching on a leaf.
Normal Pokémon. Living normal Pokémon lives.
And then there was me, the shiny Larvitar who'd gained six levels while sleeping because apparently my body counted "cellular regeneration" as training.
I was now level 27.
"This is fine," I told myself. "This is completely fine. I'll just... I'll just try to live normally. Eat some rocks. Maybe make some friends. Don't think about the fact that I'm going to outlive everyone I meet by thousands of years. Don't think about—"
A Pidgey landed on a branch near me and chirped curiously.
"Lar?" I said, which I was learning was the Larvitar equivalent of "hello."
The Pidgey tilted its head, then checked me out with its tiny bird eyes. Then it chirped something that I somehow understood as: "Wow, you're shiny! And you feel really strong! How old are you?"
Oh. Oh no. I could understand Pokémon language now.
"Uh," I said, "I hatched yesterday?"
The Pidgey's eyes went wide. "YESTERDAY?! But you're—your level is—how are you—"
And then it fainted.
Just straight up fainted from shock and fell off the branch.
"NO, WAIT, ARE YOU OKAY?!" I waddled over as fast as my stubby legs could carry me, which wasn't very fast, but I was getting better at the whole "walking" thing.
The Pidgey was fine, just unconscious. Probably from sensing my absolutely busted power level.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 15 EXP for making a Pokémon faint without attacking!]
"That shouldn't count!" I yelled at the sky.
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 28! You learned Rock Tomb!]
I looked down at the unconscious Pidgey, then back up at the sky.
"I need therapy," I said. "Do Pokémon have therapy? Is that a thing here? Because I'm going to need so much therapy."
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 5 EXP for recognizing your mental health needs!]
"STOP IT!"
The Pidgey woke up about ten minutes later, looking dazed and confused.
"What... what are you?" it asked.
"I'm a Larvitar," I said. "A very confused Larvitar with existential dread and way too many experience points."
"I've never felt power like that from a baby Pokémon," the Pidgey said, hopping around nervously. "Are you... are you some kind of legendary?"
"Pseudo-legendary," I corrected automatically. "And yes, but actually no, but technically yes, but it's complicated."
The Pidgey just stared at me.
"Look," I said, "I know this is weird. Trust me, it's weird for me too. I literally learned the move 'Screech' yesterday by screaming at the universe."
"That's... not how learning moves works."
"I KNOW! That's what I've been saying! But apparently, I have some kind of cheat ability that makes me level up ten thousand times faster than normal, and I can't turn it off, and I'm going to be absurdly overpowered, and I have to live like this for fifteen thousand years!"
The Pidgey continued staring.
"I ate rocks and gained six levels," I added.
"Larvitar always eat rocks," the Pidgey said slowly.
"Yes, but do they normally gain MULTIPLE LEVELS from a single meal?!"
"...No?"
"EXACTLY!"
We sat there in awkward silence for a moment.
"So," the Pidgey finally said, "you're going to be really strong."
"Catastrophically strong," I confirmed.
"Like, probably the strongest Pokémon in the region."
"Probably the strongest Pokémon in the world, eventually."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
Another pause.
"Want to be friends?" the Pidgey asked.
I blinked. "Really?"
"I mean, why not? You seem nice. A little loud, and kind of weird, but nice. Plus, if you're going to be super powerful, it's probably good to befriend you now before you become some kind of terrifying monster that can destroy mountains."
"I can probably already destroy mountains," I said. "Or at least seriously inconvenience them."
"Even better reason to be friends!"
And just like that, I made my first friend in the Pokémon world.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 50 EXP for forming a meaningful bond!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 29!]
"Did you just level up from making a friend?" the Pidgey asked.
"Yes."
"That's so weird."
"YOU'RE TELLING ME!"
The Pidgey—who told me their name was Pip, which was adorable—showed me around the area. Apparently, we were in a region that wouldn't be named for thousands of years, in a mountain range that would eventually be called Mount Silver.
"Mount Silver?" I said. "Like, the Mount Silver? Where Red goes at the end of Gold and Silver?"
Pip looked at me like I was crazy. "I don't know what any of those words mean."
Right. This was fifteen thousand years before the games. There was no Red. There was no Gold or Silver. There was just... nature. And Pokémon. And me, the absurdly overpowered shiny Larvitar.
"Never mind," I said. "So, what do Pokémon do around here for fun?"
"Well," Pip said, "mostly we just try to survive. Find food, avoid predators, that sort of thing."
"Predators?"
"Yeah, like Fearow, or Ursaring, or—"
[A wild Ursaring appeared!]
I'm kidding. That's not how it works in real life. But an Ursaring did emerge from the forest at that exact moment, looking hungry and aggressive.
Pip immediately hid behind me, which was hilarious because I was like two feet tall.
The Ursaring looked at me. I looked at the Ursaring.
I checked my status screen quickly.
LEVEL: 29
I had no idea what level this Ursaring was, but it was big. Like, really big. Adult Ursaring big.
"Uh," I said, "nice bear?"
The Ursaring roared and charged at me.
Instinct took over. I didn't even think about it. My body just knew what to do.
"ROCK SLIDE!" I shouted, which came out as "LAAAAAAR VITAAAAAAR!"
Rocks erupted from the ground around me, forming a massive avalanche that slammed into the Ursaring. The bear Pokémon was engulfed in stone and tumbled backward, knocked completely off its feet.
When the dust settled, the Ursaring was unconscious, buried under a pile of rocks.
I stared at my stubby arms.
"I just," I said slowly, "beat an Ursaring."
"YOU JUST BEAT AN URSARING!" Pip shouted, flapping excitedly.
"I'M LEVEL 29 AND I JUST BEAT AN ADULT URSARING!"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 500 EXP for defeating a much higher-level opponent!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 30!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 31!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 32! You learned Crunch!]
"Three levels," I said numbly. "I gained three levels from one fight."
Pip landed on my head. "You're amazing!"
"I'm terrifying," I corrected. "By the end of the week, I'm going to be unstoppable."
"Is that bad?"
"I DON'T KNOW! I've been alive for less than two days! I'm having an existential crisis here!"
The Ursaring groaned and started to wake up. Both Pip and I froze.
The bear looked at me with fear in its eyes, then scrambled to its feet and ran away as fast as it could.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 25 EXP for intimidation!]
"I made an Ursaring run away," I said.
"You're level 32," Pip pointed out.
"I HATCHED YESTERDAY!"
"You keep saying that like it's going to make it less weird!"
I sat down heavily on a rock, my stubby legs giving out.
"Fifteen thousand years," I muttered. "I have to do this for fifteen thousand years. By the time the anime starts, I'm going to be so powerful that I could probably fight Arceus to a standstill."
"Who's Arceus?" Pip asked.
"God. Pokémon God."
"We have a god?"
"Multiple gods, actually. It's complicated."
Pip sat down next to me. We looked out over the forest together, watching the sunset paint the sky in oranges and purples.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 10 EXP for appreciating natural beauty!]
"Does it always do that?" Pip asked.
"Every. Single. Time." I sighed. "I gained experience points for looking at the sun this morning."
"That's actually kind of amazing."
"It's annoying is what it is."
We sat in comfortable silence for a while.
"Hey," Pip said eventually, "for what it's worth? I think you're going to be okay. Yeah, you're way too strong, and yeah, you're going to live for a really long time. But you're still you, right? You're still a Pokémon who makes friends and worries about things and yells at the universe."
I felt something warm in my chest. Which might have been heartburn from all the rocks I'd eaten, but I chose to believe it was emotion.
"Thanks, Pip," I said.
"No problem! That's what friends are for!"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 50 EXP for maintaining a meaningful bond!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 33!]
"Seriously?!" I shouted.
Pip just laughed.
DAY 3
I woke up at level 38.
I hadn't done anything. I'd just slept. And apparently, my body had decided that sleeping counted as training.
"This is my life now," I said to the ceiling of my cave. "This is just... my life."
I dragged myself outside and immediately ran into Pip, who was chatting with a Spearow.
"—and then the Larvitar used Rock Slide and buried the entire Ursaring!" Pip was saying excitedly.
The Spearow looked skeptical. "A Larvitar? Those are baby Pokémon. There's no way—"
Then it saw me and stopped talking.
I could feel its eyes scanning my level, its instincts screaming that I was dangerous.
"Hi," I said tiredly. "Yes, I'm level 38. Yes, I hatched three days ago. No, I don't understand it either. Yes, it's weird. No, I can't turn it off."
The Spearow fainted.
"You made another one faint!" Pip said cheerfully.
"I'm collecting them like badges at this point," I muttered.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 15 EXP for intimidation!]
"Of course."
By the end of Day 3, I was level 44. I'd gained six levels just from existing, eating rocks, and accidentally terrifying the local Pokémon population.
I'd also learned that I could now use my status screen to check other Pokémon's levels, which was how I discovered that the Ursaring I'd fought yesterday was level 48.
I'd beaten a level 48 Ursaring at level 29.
"I'm broken," I told Pip as we watched the sunset. "I'm completely broken."
"You're special," Pip corrected.
"Same thing."
"No it's not!"
We argued about semantics for a while, which apparently counted as "intellectual stimulation" because I gained 5 EXP from it.
DAY 7
Level 55.
I'd been alive for a week, and I was level 55.
According to my memories of the Pokémon games, Larvitar evolved into Pupitar at level 30. Pupitar evolved into Tyranitar at level 55.
Which meant...
I felt it before I saw it. A weird tingling sensation all over my body, like every cell was vibrating at a different frequency. My status screen lit up with alerts:
[NOTIFICATION: Evolution conditions met!]
[NOTIFICATION: Evolving into Pupitar!]
"Wait, what? Now?! I'm not ready! I haven't mentally prepared! I—"
My body started glowing. That classic evolution white light that I'd seen in the anime a thousand times.
"PIP!" I shouted. "PIP, I'M EVOLVING!"
Pip flew over in a panic. "Already?! But you're only a week old!"
"I KNOW!"
The light got brighter. I felt my body changing, reshaping. My stubby arms pulled into my body. My legs fused together. A hard shell formed around me.
And then the light faded.
I was now a Pupitar. A shiny Pupitar, which meant I was purple instead of gray.
I also had no limbs and was shaped like a cocoon.
"Oh no," I said.
"You look like an eggplant," Pip said.
"PIP!"
"A very intimidating eggplant! A scary eggplant!"
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ARMS?!"
I tried to move and discovered I could kind of... wiggle? And hop? Great. Just great.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 100 EXP for evolving!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 56!]
"At least I leveled up," I muttered.
I pulled up my status screen to see the damage.
NAME: ??? (unnamed)
SPECIES: Pupitar (Shiny)
TYPE: Rock/Ground
LEVEL: 56
NATURE: Hasty
STATS:
HP: 189/189
Attack: 112
Defense: 98
Sp. Attack: 89
Sp. Defense: 93
Speed: 87
ABILITY: Shed Skin
MOVES:
Tackle, Leer, Bite, Rock Throw, Scary Face, Sandstorm, Rock Slide, Chip Away, Screech, Rock Tomb, Crunch, Thrash, Dark Pulse, Payback, Stone Edge, Earthquake
SPECIAL ABILITY: Growth Acceleration (10,000x)
STATUS: Healthy, Evolved, Slightly Panicked About Being a Purple Eggplant
"Seventeen moves," I said. "I know seventeen moves. And I'm shaped like a vegetable."
"When do you evolve again?" Pip asked.
I checked my memories of the game. "Level 55, which I just passed, so... theoretically, I could evolve into Tyranitar right now?"
"What are you waiting for?!"
"I DON'T KNOW! Maybe I want to enjoy being an eggplant for a while! Experience the full Pupitar experience!"
"You've been a Pupitar for two minutes."
"...Point taken."
As if on cue, the tingling sensation started again.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," I said.
[NOTIFICATION: Evolution conditions met!]
[NOTIFICATION: Evolving into Tyranitar!]
"TWICE IN ONE DAY?!"
The white light surrounded me again. I felt my body expanding, growing. The hard shell around me cracked and fell away. Arms emerged. Legs formed. I grew taller, bigger, stronger.
When the light faded, I was standing on two legs, with actual arms, and I was massive.
I looked down at Pip, who was staring up at me with wide eyes.
"Uh," Pip said. "You're really tall now."
I looked at my hands—my actual hands!—and flexed my fingers. Then I looked at my reflection in a nearby pond.
I was a Tyranitar. A shiny Tyranitar, which meant I was purple instead of green, with a blue-gray belly instead of tan.
I looked awesome.
"HAHA!" I shouted, my voice now deep and powerful instead of squeaky. "I HAVE ARMS AGAIN! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED HAVING ARMS?!"
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 200 EXP for evolving!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 57!]
[NOTIFICATION: Level UP! You are now Level 58! You learned Hyper Beam!]
I checked my status screen.
NAME: ??? (unnamed)
SPECIES: Tyranitar (Shiny)
TYPE: Rock/Dark
LEVEL: 58
NATURE: Hasty
STATS:
HP: 231/231
Attack: 178
Defense: 153
Sp. Attack: 131
Sp. Defense: 143
Speed: 109
ABILITY: Sand Stream
MOVES:
All previous moves plus Hyper Beam
SPECIAL ABILITY: Growth Acceleration (10,000x)
STATUS: Healthy, Fully Evolved, Extremely Powerful, Still Kind of Confused
"Level 58," I said. "I'm a level 58 Tyranitar, and I've been alive for one week."
Pip landed on my shoulder. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"I'm terrifying."
"Why not both?"
I laughed. A deep, rumbling laugh that shook the ground and sent nearby Pokémon scattering.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 10 EXP for expressing joy!]
"I've got fourteen thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine years, fifty-one weeks, and six days to go," I said. "And I'm already the strongest thing in probably a thousand-mile radius."
"So what are you going to do?"
I looked out at the horizon, at the vast prehistoric world stretching before me.
"I have absolutely no idea," I admitted. "But it's going to be weird, isn't it?"
"Probably," Pip agreed.
[NOTIFICATION: You gained 5 EXP for accepting uncertainty!]
I groaned.
This was going to be a long fifteen thousand years.
But hey, at least I had arms.
END OF CHAPTER 1
CURRENT STATUS:
Days Alive: 7
Current Level: 58
Evolution Stage: Final (Tyranitar)
Friends Made: 1 (Pip the Pidgey)
Pokémon Accidentally Traumatized: At least 15
Times Yelled At Universe: Too Many To Count
Levels Until Level 100: 42
Estimated Days Until Level 100: 5-7
Years Remaining Until Anime: 14,999.98
Sanity Level: Questionable