Chapter 20 - Push and Pull
Something had flickered in Stavan's eyes. It had lasted for only a moment then it was gone. He smiled, bowed and left the room.
He was gone.
Gone.
Ismena's heart almost went ablaze with joy.
Where had she gotten that confidence from? Was this what it was like to not have to be so practiced with Haron? Was this what it was like to have one's husband by their side?
It felt great.
"I pity him," Haron said, pulling her out of her thoughts. The smile on her face vanished.
Pity him?
"He recently just made himself the Lamb of the Knights of Ragma. Old tradition." Haron turned to her, and kissed her hand. But his words made bells ring in her head.
No.
NO!
"I tried to dissuade him from it but he believed that catching the Alpha must mean we are close to winning this war. He has made himself a living sacrifice to the Sun goddess so we can see it to the end."
Her insides twisted, her breath almost living her.
That was it.
That was why he had not fought her. Because he had just outsmarted her again.
By the Sun, would she ever be able to get rid of Stavan?! Why was he such a thorn in her side?!
"It is an admirable thing to do," she forced her voice to work. "Why do you pity him?"
"Because only yesterday,he told me about his fancy for one Ladymynor, the fifth, of Gansha Hold in the West of Ragma. Dali, I believe. It is almost like a test or temptation from the goddess herself to see if he is a worthy Lamb. He has her handkerchief everywhere with him—"
Ismena's chest tightened.
What?
That was hers!
Stavan was lying. There was no Ladymynor Dali anywhere! That handkerchief was hers.
"But he cannot be with her until the decade is over. To think he had never be so taken by anyone till now." He clicked his tongue, pushing his nose to the hollow of her neck. Something shimmered in her veins, something she couldn't explain.
But she knew the rage she felt towards Stavan.
That was a distinct feeling in of itself. An absolutely consuming one too.
That bastard!
"He could break it—"
"Never," Haron pulled away from her sharply. "We both know how Stavan is about his oaths. Remember when he locked himself in a room for two years after our parents passed for an oath he pulled upon himself. Besides, now he has the honor of a knight. He would never go back on it. Not even for a woman he is in love with."
Ismena gritted her teeth.
Haron would never believe her. Stavan gas created a foolproof story and made a strong move to block her attempt of exposing him.
"Enough about Stavan and his problems." He cupped her face in his hands. "What do you have to say to me?"
"I—" she dragged in a breath, trying to calm herself down, "I just wanted to know how you were."
He arched an eyebrow at her. "You could have asked in front of Stavan."
Her heart skipped a beat. There was something about his tone that unsettled her and made her feel like he could see through her lies. Made her feel like he was King again and not her Haron.
Pretend.
"Well, truthfully, I wanted your attention all to myself."
His gaze softened then and he pulled her into an embrace. She let out a sigh of relief. A quiet one.
"Anytime, my Love. I am so grateful that you saved my life. I will let you more and more for it everyday."
And Haron's words never rang truer than in that moment because as he pulled away, there was a knock and the ones who had come in were her children.
This was the best.
Nothing could ever ruin it.
___
___
Ismena apologized to Lowie later that day. She had nodded in forgiveness and avoided her gaze.
"You have to give this a chance," Ismena had said hurriedly. "He is different. This is different."
"Who am I to question you, your Majesty? I know my place," Lowie had said before hurrying away to prepare the bath.
Meryl was too happy to see her. She had embraced her for far too long and cried for even longer. "I have the letter of your survival to your Father, your Majesty."
"Have we gotten his response to the first letter?"
Meryl's face became grim. "The bird has not returned, and there has not been any birds with a response to the first letter. Maybe he didn't get the first letter. Maybe it is for the best."
Maybe. The weather in Wuela was usually always stormy and bad for the wings.
Besides, she had been unstable for a week. If there was a storm, it would take just that long to deliver the letter. It would help her father's health if he were to get both letters at once too.
It was for the best.
When she was finally alone in the bathroom, after sending her handmaidens away, Ismena tried to check herself to see if Stavan had done anything that day she had passed out.
Bruises. A sign. Anything.
But there was nothing.
She could only see the faint green lines of her veins just beneath her skin, feel that unexplainable weakness inside her that refused to leave.
Her body still ached but her heart hurt more with worry.
Had Stavan done anything to her?
The thought made her chest tight, and tears well up in her eyes.
He would be staying in the castle for a while, he might try to make a move on her again. With how weak she was, how would she be able to fight for herself? She had to find a way to tell Haron what was happening? She had to find a way to make him believe her and see the truth?
What could she do?
How would she get rid of Stavan?
How would she make Haron see the truth about his brother without him punishing her instead?
She had her mind filled with too many things and any thoughts she had about the prisoner and those stupid dreams were far, far, away.
___
___
Ismena jerked awake. Her head dizzy, her breath too hot.
She reached out for Haron, who was still lying in her bed while she had fallen asleep. But his bedside was cold.
Too cold.
He must have slipped out of bed a good while ago. He must have other matters to attend to.
After all, he was King.
She rushed to her feet too quickly, grabbed the goblet of water and drank. But this thirst was still too great.
There was something that could quenched it. She could feel it tug at her, hear the whisper in the wind, feel it calling to her.
She picked up a lantern, and the light from the candles flickered slightly, her grip tightening around the iron stand, as her legs moved like she was being possessed.
Her mind was blank except for one thought.
Follow.
It was a command she simply couldn't disobey. Every step felt inevitable.
Then, there was a sound, and that broke it.
She stopped.
Snapping back to her senses suddenly, only to see that she was alone in the hallway.
This was nowhere close to her chambers.
Where had she been—
Her heart skipped a beat.
No.
NO!
It wasn't possible.
She wasn't going to the dungeon.
She wasn't going to him!
No!
It was too much, too quickly. She staggered back-– and collided with a warm hard chest.