Waiting I have learned, is violence in slow motion.
You sit still while your imagination invents a hundred ways the people you care about would die.
I hated it. Every second of it.
I sat in the surveillance van parked two street from the compound, one eye on the thermal monitor, the other on the clock ticking down the guard rotation I had memorized three hours ago.
My rib throbbed beneath the bandages. My legs were stretched stiffly because bending it still sent needles of pain up my spine. The compound stood ahead of me like an accusation— three stories of concrete arrogance wrapped in flood lights and razor wire.
Inside, Gabriel and kelvin crawled through he ventilation shafts.
Two men, One rescue. No improvising.
I adjusted y headset.
"Thirty seconds to shift change." I murmured. "The north Corridor guards are disengaging"
Static Crackled.
Then Gabriel's voice, calm and composed.
"copy"
Kelvin did not speak.
That worried me even more.
"window open" I say softly. "Go."
I watched their progress through their body cam as two heat signatures slipped deeper into the building.
The vents were narrow; even Gabriel moved carefully. Dust floated in the beam of his light like suspended ash.
Kelvin's breath sounded louder than usual. Not with fear but with anticipation.
Love make people louder I guess.
"We are approaching the holding sector," Gabriel whispered.
I tracked their heat signatures aligning above a small square room. My pulse accelerated as a squeeze the stirring wheel of the car.
Liliana.
Gabriel Unscrewed the vent grate and lowered himself silently. Kelvin followed and the camera adjusted.
Then—
I forgot to breathe.
Liliana sat slumped against a metal chair. Her wrists were restrained and her head bowed.
She looked smaller somehow. Like someone had emptied her almost completely.
Her soft curly hair hung dully against her face. Lips pale. Eyes half open but unfocused.
Her breathing was slow and dragged.
My throat tightened.
It was almost as if someone had turned the brightness down on her existence.
Kelvin completely froze.
'...Lili"
His voice broke.
He crossed the room in two steps, hands hovering before he finally touches her face as he pushed her hair back gently, checking her pupils, her pulse, her face as if confirming she was real.
She blinked slowly.
Recognition struggled through the haze.
"…Kel?"
The way his shoulders dropped nearly broke me.
"I'm here," he whispered. I've got you."
He brushed his forehead briefly against hers. A gesture so quick It almost did not exists but I saw it.
Gabriel cut the restraints efficiently without saying anything.
Even he softens as he asked, "Can she walk?"
Kelvin Shakes his head slightly as he lifts her carefully into his arms.
She barely weighed anything.
Something sharp inside me twisted.
"The extraction route is clear," I said quickly, forcing professionalism back into my voice. "The main block corridor is going to be open for the nest 60 seconds."
They moved fast. Everything was perfect.
The timing.
The execution.
Until—
New heat signatures appeared on my screen.
Three.
No— five.
And they were moving fast towards them.
"… Gabriel?"
"What?"
"you have incoming patrol. Corridor three. Thirty seconds"
A pause.
I watched their heat signatures freeze.
Kelvin Cursed quietly.
They would not make it.
Not carrying Liliana.
Not without being seen.
The patrol was closing in fast.
Too fast.
They would not make it to the extraction point.
I automatically started to do the math.
I stared at the monitor.
Calculated angles.
Distances.
Possibilities.
There was only one solution and Gabriel is going to hate it.
I reached for the glove compartment. Inside it sat the small bottle of morphine kelvin had given to me.
Emergencies only.
I stared at them.
Technically speaking, this is an emergency. So, I am definitely using it right.
Right?
I down the whole bottle.
Warmth bloomed almost instantly through my body, dulling the pain and sharpening my focus.
I keyed the comm.
"I am creating a diversion."
"No Gabriel says immediately. "Hold your position"
"If I hold position, you guys are going to get caught"
"Lorenzo, that is an order—"
"Respectfully," I say, already opening the door, "this a very terrible timing for authority."
"Anastasha—"
I cut the line.
Sometime survival requires selective listening.
I moved far from the van, circling the compound perimeter, until I reached a fuel storage unit.
Perfect.
I planted an explosive charge with shaking but determined hands.
Three seconds later—
The night erupted.
Fire roared upwards.
Glass shattered.
And alarms screamed across the compound and security signatures swarmed towards the explosion like ants to sugar.
I grinned breathlessly.
"The cost should be clear now."
My COMM exploded with noise.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" Gabriel's voice thundered.
"Saving your Lives"
"I said no improvisations!"
"Well," I panted while running, "plans are just as good as suggestions so—"
Kelvin's voice cuts in, urgent but relieved. "paths clear. We are moving."
"Go to the van" I say. "I will shake them"
"You are not Alone—" Gabriel started.
I muted him.
For the sake of self-preservation.
The morphine made me reckless.
I vaulted fences and slipped through shadow. At this point I am pretty sure I had torn through my stiches.
Two guard intercepted me near the loading bay.
One swung first.
I ducked, drove my elbow into his throat, grabbed his wrist and twisted.
Bone cracked.
The second lunged at me.
I slammed him into the wall and ran before the world could slow again.
Hours seemed to have passed, maybe minutes.
Time had dissolved into adrenaline and motion.
Eventually the alarms faded behind me. The forest swallowed the compound lights.
I slowed and laughed weakly.
"I did it."
My legs trembled.
The warmth began to fade.
And then-
The pain returned.
My side burned like molten glass as my vision blurred.
The morphine was leaving my system.
I staggered and reached for my phone—
An arm snapped around my throat.
The air in my lung seemed to have vanished as a body pressed tightly against me.
"Thought you could run?" the voice hissed.
Panic denoted inside of me.
I chewed at his arm, lung screaming.
Then—
His fist slammed directly into my gunshot wound.
White agony exploded through me.
I screamed, tears sparing instantly into my eyes.
Instinct took over. I dropped my weight, twisted blindly and drove my heel downward—
Contac. He has loosened his grip.
I spun shoving him down.
Suddenly I was on top.
Breathing ragged.
My hands were shaking.
He reached for his gun.
My hand moved before though even existed as I slid the dagger free from my boots.
I hesitated.
In just a fraction of a second, his eyes met mine.
He looked alive, human… afraid.
At that moment I could simply not bring myself to do it… but he moved again and survival chose for me.
The blade cutting across his throat. Warmth splashed my hands as sound slowly started to disappear around me.
He struggled beneath me.
Weakly.
Then slower.
Until he became completely still.
I stayed frozen above him.
Waiting for movement.
Waiting for breath.
Nothing.
My hand began to shake violently.
"Oh God…"
The realization hit slowly.
I had killed someone.
My chest tightened. Breath fractured. The world felt too loud to close.
I scrambled away from the body.
Sirens echoed nearby.
I yell at my body to move before I start to bolt.
When I finally return to the base, every muscle in my body felt like It weigh a ton.
Voices leaked through the infirmary door.
Kelvin: You should have gone after her.
Gabriel paced — I could hear it even before seeing him.
His measured footsteps.
His controlled anxiety he has managed to disguise as discipline.
"She made a tactical decision. A reckless one at that." Gabriel said. "She will Have to face the consequences that come with it."
"She saved us," Kelvin snapped. "You don't get to pretend that does not matter."
Attachment versus control their favorite argument.
I pushed the door open.
Both of them Turned instantly.
Kelvin immediately stood. "Anastasha— Jesus— are you okay?
"I have had better evenings," I said attempting humor.
Liliana lay asleep behind kelvin.
Relief flooded me.
She was alive. Good. It was all worth it.
Gabriel approached me. His expression unreadable.
"You disobeyed a direct order."
Of course.
Not you are hurt.
Not you made it back.
I was suddenly too tired to fight him.
Too tired to feel anything except the phantom warmth still clinging to my hands.
"I don't have the energy for this," I said quietly.
I checked on Liliana once more, brushing her arm lightly.
Then I turned away.
My legs barely held me as a walked toward my room.
Behind me a could her Gabriel calling out to me.
I couldn't care less.
I didn't stop.
Tonight, I saved someone.
I also crossed a line I could never uncross.
And I needed silence more than forgiveness.
I walked to my room before any of us could say something we would regret.