SF Chapter 04: Modern Family Pilot IV
"Haley's uncle - or cousin once removed," Daniel said with an unfriendly expression.
Dylan made a very confused face. "What?"
"Never mind. It's a weird name. Just know I'm her uncle, and I'll be keeping an eye on you," he said, making a few gestures with his fingers.
But Dylan kept looking at him and commented, "Hey, you're the author of Wimpy Kid, right? The Daniel Harper? Haley told me."
Then he continued, excited, "Dude, I love your books!"
Suddenly, Daniel's expression did a complete 180°. He patted Dylan with a wide smile. "A fan! A person with good taste!" he added laughing.
"Come on in, Dylan," he invited, as if the house were his. "Haley is upstairs..." but when he turned around, "Oh, she's already here."
Haley walked up to the two of them.
"You can all have-" he was about to say, but he was abruptly pulled by the collar by his sister.
"Come on. Let's go." Haley motioned to the boy with her hand, but her mother quickly stopped her.
"Hang on one second." She let go of her brother and grabbed Dylan by the sleeve of the leather jacket he was wearing.
"Dylan, you're still in high school?" she began the interrogation.
"Yeah, I'm a senior," he revealed.
"A senior. Okay. Cool." She kept nodding, until she saw her husband walking by and called him. "Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey."
"This is Dylan, and he's a senior," she pointed with her head. Then she whispered, making a face, "You have to scare him," as her brother proved to be completely unreliable.
"Let me meet this 'playa.' (player)" Her husband approached Dylan. "Phil Dunphy, yo." He tried to make it cool.
"Yo."
"Yo."
"Yo."
"Okay, I see you three guys-" Haley said, exasperated, watching the dumb interaction between them, already pulling Dylan up.
"Wait, wait, wait." Her father stopped. "You two keep it real, know what I mean, son?"
"Not really." Dylan tilted his head.
His daughter was almost facepalming. "Please, stop."
"That's cool," Phil continued, but as he leaned on the stairs, his arm slipped.
"Ow. Oh, God! That's my back. Oh, honey. Sweetheart." He spoke as if he had been shot. "Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil."
Daniel laughed, but for a different reason. It was almost the same line a girl had said to him the night before.
That ended up creating a very comedic scene, with Dylan having to pick Phil up princess-style and carry him to the couch.
"You're very strong, homes. Thanks."
"Okay. Nice soft landing," Phil continued, being slowly placed on the couch. "There you go."
The two women were stone-faced, while Daniel was already singing a love song, talking about being carried like a princess.
Then the crowd dispersed, leaving Phil there, sprawled out on the couch.
-------‐-----------‐-----------‐-----------‐-----------‐-----------‐----
"Alex, get out! Mom!" Haley yelled from upstairs, from her bedroom, complaining about her sister.
And Claire, who was making a cake, screamed back from the kitchen, "Alex, leave your sister alone."
A little while later, Alex appeared and replied, "I was just getting my book. Gosh."
"I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy," her mother said, while continuing to mix the batter.
Daniel, who was typing on his computer, pointed out, "It's kind of her room too."
"Thank you, Dani, someone who understands me!" Alex remarked, going to sit in front of him.
Claire just shook her head and then asked, "What are they doing up there?"
Her daughter replied, "Nothing. Lying on her bed, watching a movie."
"Okay. Okay. Um, I'm making a cake for tonight. You wanna help me with the frosting?" Claire suggested, and Alex agreed.
"Sure." But soon came the usual provocation. "So, you know, if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she had mono for a few months and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours?"
Her mother looked at her strangely. "What?"
"This senior at school was 'out sick' for four months, but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding at a coin-op car wash."
"Ohhh," Daniel interrupted the two of them, as if he'd had a eureka moment. "That would be a great movie!"
"A pregnant teenager, and how that would affect everyone's lives!" He started envisioning a story.
"I'll call it 'Jenna'!" he announced.
"Jenna is the one who saw her, not the one who had the baby," Alex corrected him, but she was completely ignored.
"No, I hooked up once with a Jenna. That might be trouble..." he muttered. "Jenny... Janice..." Then, "Juno! That's it!"
"The Roman goddess?" Alex raised an eyebrow.
And Claire added, "Geek, now Roman. What is it with all this mythology?" she asked, since Percy Jackson was based on that.
"It is Legen-" he paused, "wait for it," then finished, "...dary. Legendary!" her brother remarked, as if that explained everything.
Then Claire approached him and placed both hands on his face. "Dani, sweetheart, you already have two movies in production, Mean Girls and Superbad - and that second one, our dad told me, still isn't completed finished the script…"
She then asked softly, "Isn't it better to focus on one movie at a time?"
"I'm trying, but our cousin Leonard and his friends aren't exactly the nerds I want for the movie, even if they do give me ideas," Daniel revealed.
"And Mean Girls will be released in theaters soon! The movie-"
But then he received a message on his phone and smirked. "Lauren texted me back." His mood and focus completely changed.
His sister rolled her eyes and started to walk away.
"Wait, where are you going, sis?" he asked.
Claire made an excuse. "I'm just going to put some clothes away."
He quickly grabbed her. "No, no, no. You're going to interrupt Haley." Daniel understood his sister's intention.
"She needs to get pregnant, so I'll have easy material for my new movie!" he declared shamelessly.
"Stop treating other people like material for your movie or your book," Claire scolded him, giving him a few light slaps.
Alex muttered dryly, "so Haley getting pregnant isn't really that big of a problem..." and went back to opening her book and reading.
[Alex Commentary]
Alex Dunphy, sitting on the couch in her house, glanced around and finally revealed, "I love it when my siblings get in trouble."
"But Dani is different. You don't try to get him in trouble, because he's a madman!"
"He doubles or triples the problem and drags you down with him!" She folded her arms around herself, recalling a few traumatic memories from the past.
[Commentary ends]
-----------------------------
If you enjoy it, please leave a Review and Power Stones
You can also support me on patreon and read up to 21 chapters ahead, plus 33 chapters of Modern Family: Francis Jacob Pritchett
https://[email protected]/Japa_Madrid