I'm changing the color Lorimer's clothes because i found much nicer ones to imagine
A black button up shirt with white buttons and grey or dark grey pants
Enjoy
"Okay, if this works" said Lorimer in a serious tone as he stared at his creation proudly "everything would change"
Lorimer stared at his creation silently before snapping his fingers, activating the creation...it was a large seemingly normal flat screen TV
"Finally, a living TV that writes shows using it's imagination" said Lorimer with a smile before the TV started working "showmaker, make me a good cartoon to watch."
"Concept and art style?" Asked the TV
"Surprise me" replied Lorimer calmly before the TV went to work; creating a new, never before seen cartoon "now to get some fresh homegrown popcor-"
Lorimer was cut off by someone barging into his room. It was Rick and Morty.
"Why does no one ever knock?!" Said Lorimer with a scowl before sighing "what do you two want?"
"Morty's taking charge of an adventure and he wants you in" replied Rick as he crossed his arms with a frown on his face, clearly displeased with this development
"Is that a TV in your room?" Asked Morty as he stared at the large TV
"Yes, now let me watch in peace" said Lorimer as he prepared popcorn in a fiery looking plant
"W-wait! The adventure!" Said Morty hastily and Lorimer blew a raspberry "c'mon, when have i asked you for anything?"
Lorimer took a deep breath as he stared at his brother before speaking
"Mortimer, i have recordings of you asking me for stuff" deadpanned Lorimer
"But this is different-"
"Yes, because helping you study isn't traumatizing enough" joked Lorimer with a calm face as he ate popcorn "look, Mortimer. I'm not interested in going on some suicide adventure"
"What, you're scared?" Asked Rick raising a brow
"Yeesh, poking at my pride" said Lorimer frowning as he turned to Rick "too bad i don't care"
"Would you do it for this?" Asked Morty as he showed his older brother a marvel comic book
"Seriously, Mortimer? You think a comic boo-" said Lorimer before Morty showed Lorimer a signature that was on the comic "holy shit, it's signed by Stan Lee...i need it"
"Go on this adventure with us while listening to everything i say and it's all yours" said Morty with a happy smile, knowing his bargain is working
"I respect your cunning, but i also hate you for it" said Lorimer as he frowned "you've got a deal, Mortimer. Now let's go, i have a show to enjoy later"
"Cartoon done" said Lorimer's TV
Rick and Morty gave Lorimer odd looks upon hearing that and after a few seconds of silence, Lorimer answered
"Put it in watch later and make sure it has a catchy theme song"
"God, what a boring way to start an adventure. Why didn't we just go to Kentucky?" Asked Rick, complaining about the adventures already
The three were now in a poor village in what looked like 1700s in another world
"Yeah! Adventures in Kentucky are like, Decapitated Head of Cursed Wax Figure William Shakespeare level of storytelling" added Lorimer with a frown
"That's...really specific" said Morty as he scratched the back of his head in confusion
"It's a reference" deadpanned Lorimer "...continue"
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Morty spoke
"Rick, Lori; this is a fantasy type world with creatures all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay?" Said Morty firmly
"Can't wait" said Rick sarcastically
"Dying of excitement right now" added Lorimer
Morty ignored them and headed to talk to the people of the village. He cleared his throat and spoke
"Excuse me! We're three humble heroes in search of an adventure!"
"Oh, my god, so embarrassing" said Rick as he watched Morty
"Ugh, i can feel the cringe from over here" said Lorimer as he shivered at the sight
"At last! Three heroes! You must help us" said one of the villagers dramatically "this village is terribly poor, yet the giant that lives in the clouds above has untold treasure"
Morty smiled at Rick and Lorimer before answering
"You know what? I accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir." Morty said cheerfully before turning to Lorimer and Rick "come on, there's giant in the clouds!"
"Yeah. Beginner's luck" said Rick as he rolled his eyes
"Luck is is still luck, you can't argue with that" said Lorimer as he and Rick began following Morty
"I can" said Rick emphasizing the "I"
"All right, Morty. We're in your stupid giant's castle. What do we do next?" Asked Rick still bothered by the adventure
The three were now in the giant's home, on a table under the window they came inside through
"Would you just relax-" Said Morty calmly before Lorimer cut him off
"Mortimer. Being drunk at the moment is better than being relaxed, at least it makes more sense" said Lorimer frowning "this is madness!"
"Oh come on, all we got to do is find the treasure room. You know, I'm so sorry everything's going so smooth and adventurey" said Morty with a smile
As if on cue, loud steps were heard down the hall behind the door
"Uh oh, Morty. Startin' to get to a little hairy. What do you want to do, boss?" Said Rick sarcastically
"Come on, hurry. Behind this cookie jar" said Morty quickly as he pointed at a gigantic cookie jar
The three quickly made their way behind the cookie jar as they heard the giant speak
"Fee! Fi! Foo! Fum!"
"Mortimer, please don't do anything that'd get us killed" whisper Lorimer angrily with a scowl which got an eye roll from Rick
"Please. You talk as if you don't have 20 clones or something ready in case something happens to you" whispered Rick with a frown
"23, but good guess" said Lorimer before Morty shushed him and Rick
The giant soon made his way into the room
"Just give up, Morty. This is game over. I'll take us home right now, just say the word" said Rick with a smile on his face as he pulled out his portal gun
"No way, Rick. This is part of it. Adventures have conflict. Deal with it" said Morty with a scowl on his face
"This is why i hate adventures" said Lorimer tiredly
"I smell the blood of- whoop" said the giant before he slipped and his head on the corner of the table, killing him
"Holy crap!" Yelled Morty in shock
Lorimer didn't remember every episode. Heck! He didn't remember what his name was before he died! So usually, he only had vauge ideas of what's gonna happen
So Lorimer definitely didn't know what was about to happen, but he knew something was about to happen because he was sure that Rick and Morty never swam in a pool of gold like Scrooge Mcduck...at least not in season one to his memory
So he decided to the most sensible thing, run away. He watched as Rick and Morty were taken away by the giant's wife. Lorimer knew he couldn't leave the two because even if they come out fine, they'll hate him for life and he couldn't let that live on
So he decided to gather information first, and what better place to find it than the memory of a giant. His new objective was to knock out the giant lady
"Okay, steady...steady" said Lorimer as he aimed a grappling hook made out of a plant before he hooked unto the back of giant lady's neck
Lorimer then pulled out a syringe from his pocket and inserted it into the lady's neck before pushing the liquid inside in
A hand quickly made it's way to his location. He jumped out of the way, but the hand was heading towards his new location
"No no no no no" said Lorimer as he dodged for the second time
"What? Who's there?!" Said the lady angrily as she stopped caressing her neck "are you one of those tiny people who killed my husband?!"
"Uhhh, no?...I'm your conscience" Said Lorimer doing an improvisation "we don't talk a lot these days"
"Why do you sound like a young teenage boy?"
"Uhh well, i don't have vocal cords, and people without vocal cords sound like teenagers" lied Lorimer as he rapidly injected the giantess with doses of the liquid "that's science"
"Okay, but why am i feeling tiny footsteps on the back of my neck? And occasionally a weird sting?"
"That's...your sadness because you lost your husband" lied Lorimer semi smoothly "maybe you should put the baby down and relax for a while?"
"...maybe you're right" said the giantess, feeling a bit dizzy
She put the baby on the couch and...comically collapsed in an instant. Lorimer climbed unto the couch where her head was before he heard the giant baby cry
"Shut up! Yo mama so fat it took 38 doses of a highly powerful tranquilizer to knock her out!"
The insult didn't stop the baby from crying
"Usually, this shit works in cartoons" said Lorimer before using ear plugs "finally, peace"
Lorimer then proceeded to use a plant that connects minds to scan the mind of the giantess using his own, and after a long 5 minutes, he had a plan
The first step is to put the giantess's and the baby's minds in another place to store them for later. It was relatively easy to do.
Second was to replace them with two disposable minds. Good news, he had a mind ready in his pocket. A very disposable mind that should be able to do the trick. Not so good news, he only had one so the baby's body will have to be a soulless husk for now
Third step, add some evidence and get it done before the giant police gets here
Fourth step...time to become a lawyer
"Do i look good?" Lorimer asked the giant before him
"Yeah, for a substitute lawyer" said the giant with a smile "by the way, what happened to the original lawyer?
"Explosive diarrhea" deadpanned Lorimer before hr was taken i to the courtroom by a confused giant
Rick and Morty immediately noticed him
"Lori?" Asked Morty as he saw his brother be put on the table where he was
"You piece of shit, you left us!" Said Rick angrily
"And now, I'm saving you" said Lorimer calmly
"Uh huh, and how are you gonna do that?" Asked Rick as he raised a brow, clearly doubting Lorimer
"I may be a piece of shit, Rick" said Lorimer calmly "but I'm a resourceful piece of shit. Now, watch and learn how i put hours of detective shows and movies and years of Ace Attorney experience into practice"
"Not encouraging" deadpanned Rick
Lorimer ignored him and turned to the judge
"For the record, i already consider them very guilty" said the giant judge "especially with you here"
"Not if i have something to say about it" said Lorimer quietly before speaking in a professional tone "now, my dear judge, I must firstly say that my clients had nothing to do with with Mr Dale's death"
"Are you proposing that it's an accident?" Asked the judge
Making Rick and Morty focus more firmly on Lorimer's words
"No, I'm saying that you caught the wrong person" said Lorimer in a serious tone, surprising Rick and Morty "the real culprit...is standing right there!"
Everyone gasped as Lorimer pointed at a giant sitting down among the giants in the courtroom
"Me?" Asked the giant in confusion
"Not you, behind you" said Lorimer tiredly before a collection of gasps filled the room once more "Mr Dale's wife!"
"What?" Said the giantess
"This is a serious accusation, do you have any evidence?" Asked the judge curiously as he raised a brow
"I wouldn't have come here otherwise" said Lorimer with a smile as a giant entered the court room with evidence "in the room where Mr Dale passed away there was a small puddle of liquid, right in front of the door and in and around that puddle we found exhibit A! The puddle had some skin flakes inside and some fingerprints around. We know the cause of Mr Dale's death, he slipped on that puddle and hit his head on the corner of the table"
"Doesn't that just make it an accident?" Asked the giantess "i clean around the house. Of course you'd find some skin flakes here and there!"
"Oh, but that isn't just it. The puddle was the exact height needed to make Mr Dale hit his head. It was calculated, and it was all for the money" said Lorimer in a grim tone getting collective gasps from around the courtroom before turning the giantess "could you please tell us what you did first when you walked into the crime scene?"
"I found my husband dead on the floor before i saw those two on the table and trapped them in a cup"
"You didn't bother to check on your husband?" said Lorimer and the giantess's face went pale "you found a good scapegoat for your scheme, thinking it was better than just simply saying 'i just found him like this'. Admit to your crime now before i have to pull out more evidence"
The giantess was beginning to panic. She decided to use her child as a hostage to escape. She failed and the child died
And with that, the three were free to go
"How the f*k did you figure all that out?" Asked Rick in confusion
"Yeah, that was incredible!" Said Morty happily
"Yeah, if only it was real" said Lorimer happily
"Wait, what?" Asked Morty in confusion
"Yeah, The lady was being controlled by me. I was the one who left the evidence and everything" said Lorimer "it was all pulled out of my ass"
"Holy crap! Y-you-"
"Don't worry, nobody died. The lady and her baby had their minds downloaded into these capsules" said Lorimer with a smile as he held two capsules for Morty to see "just gotta pop them in some new bodies and BAM, new identities and nothing bad happened at all"
Morty let out a sigh of relief
And with that done, Morty convinced Lorimer and Rick to continue the adventure
A few things here and there happened
The king of the village disappeared and came after him a beautiful lady and her child. The woman became a righteous queen and they lived happily ever after
And for the previous king, king jellybean,...well, Lorimer found out about what he did to his little brother
"Kore ga...requiem da"
And with that, King jellybean was left in a eternal cycle of dying and coming to life without a chance of escape or mercy
But Lorimer got that sweet sweet Stan Lee signed comic! It was beautiful! Morty was happy to give money to the village and Rick was satisfied
the village thrived under the rulership of their new queen especially with the money they got from our gang
Everyone had a happy ending...except king jellybean, he doesn't deserve s*t