"Take care of each other out there, okay?" Aunty said softly, though there was a hint of worry in her voice as she fixed the collar of my polo. "And you, Krit, don't be a burden to Jai. And don't be so stubborn!"
"Mom, seriously," Krit replied with a slight frown, pretending to be annoyed, but I could see the softness in his eyes. "Of course I won't misbehave."
"Oh really?" Aunty raised an eyebrow, then turned to me. "Tell me, Jai, if he starts acting up. Don't tolerate him."
I let out a small laugh and nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
Aunty took a deep breath. She stepped closer and held both of my hands. Her palms were warm, but the worry in her eyes was even warmer as she looked at me.
"I hope everything goes well for you there, Jai," she said almost in a whisper. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Don't skip meals. And most of all, don't overwork yourself. You know you're sick."
It felt like something tightened in my chest every time they mentioned it. I know they don't treat me like a burden, but I can still feel my limits—this body that gets tired too easily, this heart that seems to have its own ticking time.
"Yes… I promise," I said, forcing a smile, but meaning it.
I hugged her tightly. I could smell her familiar perfume—the scent of home. In that embrace, there was fear and hope. But inside me, there was also a strange excitement.
"What about me?" Krit suddenly chimed in, pretending to sulk.
Aunty laughed. "Oh, come here." She pulled both of us into a hug and kissed us on the cheek. "I'll miss you two."
"Alright, hurry up! You might miss your flight!" Uncle Rob shouted from the car.
As we walked away, I turned back to look at my Aunty. She was waving, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. Leaving wasn't something I resented, but saying goodbye still hurt.
They may not be my real parents, but they became my family. And every day they choose to love me despite my imperfections, I become even more grateful.
As the plane lifted into the sky, it felt like my past was slowly drifting away with it. I quietly stared out the window. The houses below looked so small—like toys. Maybe that's how I feel too—small in this world. What kind of life will I have in Bangkok? Will I be able to handle it? Can I finally escape the memories buried deep inside me? Suddenly, I felt a warm hand gently holding mine. Krit.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
I nodded, but I knew that wasn't enough to hide my anxiety. He could see it. He knows me. He tightened his grip on my hand.
"Don't worry. We're almost there."
I smiled a little, I'm glad he's here. If I were alone, I might've chosen to turn back instead.
The moment we landed in Bangkok, it felt like a new breeze had filled my lungs. The surroundings were bright. Lights shimmered in every corner. Buildings gleamed under the sky. The city had a rhythm of its own—faster, alive. And somehow… I wanted to live faster too.
I immediately grabbed the camera Mama had gifted me on my birthday. It had been years since I last used it. I rarely went out back then. Rarely ran. Rarely chased the world that now seemed to chase me.
Click.Click.Click.
"It's so beautiful here…" I whispered to myself.
"Jai! Take me a picture!" Krit shouted, striking a pose on the bridge like a professional model.
I couldn't help but grin.
"You're such a drama king."
"Just take it already!"
I raised the camera and aimed. Behind him, the city lights reflected off the river, making him look… free. Happy. Untouchable.
When we arrived at the dorm, we went straight to arranging our things. Our rooms were just across from each other—304 was his, 308 was mine, both on the third floor.
As I organized my clothes in the cabinet, I sank onto the bed for a moment. Silence. The familiar noise of home was gone.
"Hmm," I sighed, staring into the emptiness.
Once we were settled, Krit invited me out to eat. I didn't hesitate; I wanted to see the city too, to explore. While Krit browsed through street vendors and small shops, I wandered, snapping photos—street food, neon lights, the smiles of passersby. Until—
BAM!
Something collided with my back. My grip on the camera loosened, and time seemed to slow. The camera fell hard on the cement. I bent down to pick it up, but a hand beat me to it. Long, confident fingers. Seems familiar.
"Is this yours?" a voice asked as the camera was handed back.
In that instant, the world stopped. I looked up, and my eyes went wide.
"Jai?!"
The voice. His voice. The one I'd been waiting for all these years.
"Jai… is that really you?"
I couldn't speak. Couldn't move.
It was him. P'Thorn. The only person who had ever been my shield.
Flashback
"Gay! Gay! Gay!"
Their taunts echoed in my ears again.
"I'm not!" I had shouted, my voice trembling.
"You don't even know how to fight!""You only rely on Thorn!"
They shoved me. I fell to the ground. My cheeks burned with shame and fear. Until—
"Hey! Leave Jai alone!"
P'Thorn arrived. Tall. Brave. Fearless.
"Do you want me to smack all of your faces?!" he shouted.
They scattered, and he knelt beside me.
"You okay?"
I nodded, tears threatening to spill.
"If they bully you again, tell me I'll make them regret it."
"P'Thorn… you won't leave me, right?" I had whispered, so small.
He smiled.
"I promise. I won't."
Present
But he did leave me. One day, without warning. No proper goodbye. No explanation. He just vanished—and with him, so did my courage. And now, here he was. Taller, more mature, more… everything. Not like before.
But the eyes—those eyes were still the same.
As we locked gazes, a woman approached him and casually held his arm.
"Thorn, you're here already."
It was like ice water had been poured over my head. I stumbled back, and all the old wounds reopened. I didn't know why I had even hoped that we could meet each other again. But destiny seems likes to play.
I found a chance to step back, then turned and walked away. I couldn't tell if it was the sickness or my suddenly racing heart that was making it hard to catch a breath.
Krit's voice called out sharply.
"Jai!" His tone held panic.
Before I knew it, I'd stopped in the middle of the street. The world shrank around me. My chest felt pressed by an invisible hand—tight, unforgiving. Krit rushed over, taking my hand in one of his, his other hand gently stroking my back, as if he could calm my heartbeat with the touch alone.
"You okay? Are you—having trouble breathing?" His worry was palpable.
I tried to look his eyes. I wanted to say I was fine. I wanted to tell him not to worry. But I couldn't. I gave a faint nod, and my chest tightened even more. The air felt too thin, each breath is not enough.
"W-wait—where's your inhaler?!" he stammered, fumbling through my bag with shaking hands.
I felt his panic.
"Krit…" I whispered, barely audible.
"Just hold on, it's here—somewhere—" he rifled through my bag, spilling things in his haste.
I didn't want him to be scared. I didn't want him to see how weak I was right now.
Finally, he pulled out my inhaler and handed it to me. My fingers shook as I took it. One press. One deep breath. Slowly, the flow of air returned to my lungs.
After that, he guided me to a bench by the river and we sat. I lowered my head, closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. Before us, the city lights shimmered over the water. The river was still, but my mind… chaotic. Not because of the attack, but because of him. Thorn.
Fate doesn't cheat. No matter how far you run, no matter how long you try to forget someone, if it's meant to happen—you'll meet again. But painful as it is… that doesn't mean things remain the same.
Much has changed, him and me. I'm no longer the child who relied on his back, and he's no longer the boy who promised he would never leave.
"You okay now, Jai?" Krit asked gently, seriously.
I looked at him. His concern hadn't faded. He didn't leave my side, and still tightly holding my hand.
I nodded slightly. "Yeah… I'm okay now."
"I was very worried. Thought we'd end up at the hospital right when we got here in Bangkok," he teased, still catching his breath, trying to keep his usual playful tone.
I smiled faintly. My chest felt lighter, though my body still trembled with weakness.
"You're crazy. Want me hospitalized?" I teased back, pretending to scold.
"Of course not!" he said quickly. "I'm still the one taking care of you there."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Well, you better. I'll tell Aunty if you neglect me."
He grinned. "You couldn't, even if you tried. I'd take your phone and throw it away."
"Ohoo," I laughed softly. "So you really wouldn't let me huh. As if you didn't panic earlier at all."
He scratched the back of his head.
"Hey, it's natural. Even I'm handsome, I won't let you suffer. So yeah… you owe me."
I looked at him and smiled.
Under the city lights, I could see the sweat on his forehead and the faint paleness—proof that he really was scared earlier.
"Owe you?" I pretended to think. "What do you want as payment?"
He feigned seriousness.
"You owe me a free meal tomorrow. Something good, and not just street food."
"You're too picky," I laughed. "Earlier you were craving for fish balls."
"That was earlier," he said quickly. "I'm saving for the future."
"The future… with me in the hospital?" I joked.
He went quiet for a moment. Just a second, but enough for me to notice.
"Hey no," he said quietly. "Your future… being healthy. Able to run anywhere. Able to breathe easy just like normal people."
My smile faded. Sometimes, in between our jokes, truths slip out quietly.
I forced the conversation back to lightness.
"You're such a drama king. Come on let's eat, I'm hungry."
He immediately stood and offered his hand.
"Take it slow."
"I know," I said, but I held his hand anyway.
Walking by the river, I realized something. Earlier, I thought the world would collapse back into pain. Into memories. Into broken promises. But now, Krit was here. Loud, annoying, but steadfast.
He's still one of my anchors. And I'm glad he's still here… by my side. If I truly owed him anything, it wasn't just a meal. Maybe it was this—staying. Choosing to fight. Choosing to smile. Even just for a moment.
I didn't tell him the truth. I didn't tell him I saw Thorn. I didn't tell him how all the wounds I'd buried resurfaced in a flash. Because if he knew… he probably wouldn't like it.
———
I woke up early. Not because of an alarm—but because of nerves. Today was my first day at university here in Bangkok. A new place. New people. A new beginning. I lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, feeling my chest. My breathing was steady. My heartbeat was steady.
"Okay," I whispered to myself. "You can do this, Jai."
After showering and getting dressed, my eyes landed on a box tucked at the side of my cabinet. I hadn't touched it in days. Slowly, I opened it. Inside were photos of Mom and Dad. I had kept them hidden for so long—almost afraid that if I stared too long, I'd miss them even more. But now, so far away from everything familiar, I felt like I needed them more than ever.
I carefully pulled the photos out and began placing them one by one on the wall above my study table. Gently. I didn't want a single corner to wrinkle. I smiled. They were smiling back at me. Mom, gentle and kind in her eyes. Dad, serious but forcing a smile because he never really liked being in pictures.
"Good morning!" I whispered.
Even if they weren't physically here, they were with me—in my heart, in my thoughts. With every step I took, I carried them with me.
I glanced back at the box. I thought I was done arranging things, but something drew my eyes back to it. There was one more photo tucked beneath the others—slightly hidden, like I had intentionally shoved it away so I wouldn't see it immediately.
I carefully pulled it out. My fingers froze. It was Thorn, and me. Smiling together. I was younger there—thinner, more innocent-eyed. He had his arm around me, naturally my shield, my comfort. His smile was unguarded, pure joy. We were so happy there.
But that was also the last day we've seen each other smiling together.
I smiled—but it was bitter. I ran my thumb along the edge of the photo, as if holding onto the past. I remembered last night, seeing him again—the shock in his eyes, the way he called my name.
I paused, thinking carefully where I should place the photo. Should I put him on the wall, next to Mama and Papa? Or back in the box? I hesitated. If I placed him there, it would mean admitting he still had a place in my daily life. That I still wanted to see him when I studied, when I woke up.
If I put him back in the box… it would feel like accepting that he belonged only in memories. I took a deep breath. I didn't know the answer yet. I didn't know what he was in my life now.
When I'm still holding the photo, there was a knock at the door.
Knock knock knock.
I looked up. Reality slammed back in. Quickly, I hid the photo under the drawer of my study table—not yet back in the box, not yet on the wall. When I opened the door, there was Krit—back turned to me, striking a model-like pose. One hand in his pocket, his chin slightly raised.
I raised an eyebrow. Slowly, he turned, a sarcastic grin on his lips.
"Good morning! Handsome?" he asked.
I laughed. "What are you doing? You're ridiculous!"
"Why?" he lifted his brow. "I am truly handsome, aren't I?"
Sigh. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. Come on, we'll be late if you keep goofing around."
He didn't move.
"That's not it," he added, running a hand through his hair. "The professor might be blinded by my looks. I might become the inspiration for the whole class."
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, inspiration for being delusional."
"Hey, you're mean!" He clutched his chest dramatically. "Even when I'm this handsome, my friend still torments me!"
"Torments, you?" I furrowed my brow.
"Yes," he replied without hesitation. "Do you know how painful that is?"
"Tss," I quickly shot back. "You're the one who's always bullying."
"Ha! No!"
"Come on, let's go!"
"Say it first, please handsome!" he demanded, one brow raised.
I pouted and let out a dramatic sigh.
"Fine, let's go… please, handsome!"
He smiled widely.
"Very good!"
I closed the door, and together we walked out of the dorm.
Descending the stairs, my stomach was a whirlwind of nerves and excitement. First day. I didn't know what kind of people I would meet. I didn't know how I would face each day—whether it would bring joy or pain.
Once we reached the university, Krit and I paused simultaneously.
"Woah…" we muttered together.
The campus was enormous. Tall buildings, some with classic architecture, some modern with glass facades. Manicured lawns, trees lining the pathways, students everywhere—some rushing, some chatting, some serious.
I hadn't realized how vast the place I was entering would be.
Chulalongkorn University.
A name I had only seen a few times in brochures or websites. Now, I was standing inside it.
Krit and I were both in the Faculty of Medicine, though in different departments. He was in Surgery—dreaming of becoming a surgeon one day. I was in Internal Medicine. My dream was to help people like me—hearts that needed care. One day, I hoped to be a Cardiologist.
"Do you know which department you're supposed to go to?" Krit asked, holding the map on his phone.
"Yes," I replied, "but I don't know which building."
"Hmmm…" he scratched his head. "Let's ask someone. Okay?"
I nodded. We split up briefly to find answers faster.
As I walked, I noticed a guy approaching, headset on, head down, focused on his phone. Another student, I guessed—ID badge, gray backpack.
I inhaled deeply.
"Ohh, Sorry!" I called.
He paused, removing one side of his headset.
"Hmm?"
I suddenly lost my words.
"A-ah… um… I just wanted to ask," I stammered, trying to calm myself.
He looked at me, waiting.
"Do you know which building Internal Medicine is in?" I asked.
"Ahh!" he suddenly shouted. I blinked in surprise, forcing myself to stay composed.
"You're going there too?" he added, seemingly excited.
I nodded. "Yes."
He smiled.
"Then why not going there with me?"
I froze. Go there with you? I glanced back at Krit. He was still talking to another student, probably asking for directions.
"Uh… sure?" I replied. "But my friend is also looking for his department too, so I need to help him."
"Oh? Which department?" he asked.
"Surgery," I said immediately.
"Ahh, Surgery!" he exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "Yeah!" He paused awkwardly, then smiled. "I don't really know, hehe."
I laughed softly, a little disappointed.
"Is that so?"
"B-but," he quickly added, "I can help you guys find it."
"Really?" I couldn't help but smile.
He nodded.
"Yes. I'm a first-year too. Let's help each other."
I smiled faintly. Somehow, it eased the tension. I wasn't the only one feeling lost.
"By the way, I'm Van!" he said energetically, removing his headset and extending his hand.
I smiled and shook it.
"Jai."
We stared at each other briefly, a hint of shyness but a natural ease. He wasn't intimidating. In fact, I felt like I had known him for years.
We found Krit.
"Hey, this is Van. Internal Medicine too," I said.
"Krit. Surgery student," he said, serious.
"Ohh!" Van said. "Future surgeon, huh?"
Within minutes, they hit it off. Krit's usual serious aura faded as they chatted, while I laughed quietly at Van's antics. We continued searching for Krit's building, but the campus was massive.
"This campus is like a maze," Van complained.
Sigh! Krit groaned.
Before we could ask again, a loud voice echoed from the campus speakers.
"Everyone, gather at the social hall for student orientation. Thank you!"
We exchanged looks. Orientation already? Clueless, we followed the stream of students.
Inside the social hall, I was awestruck. Packed with students—almost all first-years of the Faculty of Medicine. Different faces, different personalities. Serious ones, excited ones, nervous ones like me. Seniors arrived slowly, too.
"Everyone, please have a sit!" one senior commanded.
We complied, sitting together—me in the middle.
"Today, we'll orient you about your programs. We'll also guide you to your respective buildings or departments afterward."
"Wow, so many first-years," Van whispered.
"Yeah," Krit replied. "They said it's hard to get in here, but look—half of Bangkok must be here."
I smiled faintly.
"Hope I find my the one here!" Van suddenly quipped, grinning mischievously.
"Huh?" I frowned.
"As if you can!" Krit teased.
"Hey! Life isn't just about studying," Van added. "Gotta have some thrill too! Inspirations, you know?"
"Yeahh!! True that!" Krit slapped his hand with Van.
I just rolled my eyes. Even though I had just met Van, I felt oddly at ease with him, like a natural connection.
"Now, let's welcome the Senior's coming from the Department of Surgery!" a senior shouted excitedly.
"None other than our talented and handsome Thornchai Phongsathorn!"
My ears perked up.
I looked forward—and there he was. Thorn. Standing at the front in a crisp uniform. More mature, defined jawline, strong posture. But that smile… still familiar. He grinned, waving slightly.
Students murmured and whispered, especially the girls behind us. The hall buzzed with excitement. I couldn't speak, and I couldn't look away.
I didn't know which beat was louder—my heart or the noise of the hall. In this massive university. Amidst all these people. In the vastness of Bangkok. I never expected fate would bring us together again… in the same place.