After that day…
I stopped pretending.
I didn't tell anyone directly.
I didn't announce it.
But I stopped trying to convince myself I didn't like him.
Because clearly—
I did.
And this time…
I wasn't going to ignore it.
So I tried.
Not in obvious ways.
Not in ways anyone could point out.
Just small things.
Talking to him a little more.
Staying a little longer in conversations.
Not walking away the moment things got awkward.
Trying to be… there.
But it wasn't easy.
Because Aisha was still there.
Praveena was still there.
Jamie's words were still in my head.
And sometimes, it still felt like I didn't belong in that space.
Like I was forcing myself into something that already had its place.
But still—
I tried.
Some days were normal.
Some conversations felt easy.
Like before.
And for a second, I'd think—
Maybe this wasn't impossible.
And then something small would happen.
Aisha interrupting.
Praveena laughing with him.
Him not noticing me the same way I noticed him.
And everything would fall apart again.
It felt like an endless cycle.
Hope.
Confusion.
Overthinking.
Repeat.
And then…
There was today.
It wasn't anything big.
Nothing dramatic.
Just a small moment.
We were talking.
Casually.
And somehow, the topic shifted.
"Infinity," I said, without really thinking.
He looked at me.
"It just… doesn't end, right?" I added, half joking, half serious.
He nodded slightly.
"Yeah."
And that was it.
A normal conversation.
A normal moment.
But for some reason—
It stayed.
Because it felt like more than just a word.
It felt like everything I was stuck in.
This feeling.
This confusion.
This whole… situation.
Endless.
No clear beginning.
No clear end.
Just going on.
And maybe that's what scared me the most.
Because no matter what I did—
Try to move on.
Try to get closer.
Try to understand—
Nothing really changed.
And for the first time…
I started wondering something else.
What if this was never meant to go anywhere?
What if all those moments—
All those thirty-six—
Were just that?
Moments.
Nothing more.
And maybe…
That was the answer I had been avoiding all along.
Because not every feeling turns into something real.
Not every story gets a proper ending.
Some just…
stay unfinished.
And maybe…
this was one of them.