Chapter 9
Smiling in Silence
Nothing changed.
And everything changed.
In front of everyone…
we were still the same.
"Jay, pass the notes."
"Hmm."
"Keifer, come here."
"Coming."
Normal.
Casual.
Distant.
Like we meant nothing to each other.
But behind screens…
"Did you miss me?"
"No."
"Liar."
"Maybe."
And just like that…
my day would get better.
Every time his name popped up on my phone…
My heart would react first.
Faster.
Lighter.
I would try not to smile.
But I always failed.
"Why are you smiling?"
Ella would ask suddenly.
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm just reading something."
"What?"
"Nothing."
She would stare at me.
Suspicious.
But I never told.
Because this…
was ours.
Hidden.
Safe.
Or so I thought.
Because some things…
can't stay hidden forever.
Like jealousy.
It started small.
Unnoticeable.
Until one day—
"Keifer!"
A girl's voice.
Loud.
Excited.
I looked up.
She was standing in front of him.
Smiling brightly.
Too brightly.
"Hi," she said.
He nodded casually.
"Hi."
She laughed softly.
Playing with her hair.
"I've seen you around…"
"Hmm."
"I wanted to talk to you."
I looked away.
I didn't want to watch.
But I couldn't stop listening.
"You're kinda… interesting."
I clenched my fingers slightly.
Kinda?
"Okay," he replied simply.
She giggled.
"I mean… more than kinda."
Ella leaned closer to me.
"Someone's flirting."
"I don't care."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Lie.
Big lie.
Because my chest felt tight.
My eyes kept going back to him.
To them.
She stepped closer.
Too close.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
My breath stopped.
I looked at him instantly.
Waiting.
Hoping.
He paused.
Just for a second.
Then—
"No."
My heart dropped.
Of course.
He had to say that.
Because that's what we decided.
That's what I decided.
But hearing it?
It still hurt.
More than I expected.
"Then can I get your number?"
she asked.
I looked down.
I didn't want to hear the answer.
Didn't want to see it.
But I stayed.
Because I had no right to walk away.
"No."
My head snapped up.
He said it so simply.
So calmly.
The girl blinked.
"Why?"
"Not interested."
Silence.
She forced a smile.
"Oh… okay."
And walked away.
I didn't react.
Didn't look at him.
Didn't say anything.
Because I couldn't.
Because if I did…
everything would show.
But my phone buzzed.
"Jealous?"
I froze.
I typed quickly…
"No."
"Liar."
"I'm not."
"Then why did you stop smiling?"
I bit my lip.
"I didn't."
"You did."
"…so what if I did?"
A pause.
Then—
"Say it."
My heart raced.
"No."
"Say it."
"I won't."
"Jay…"
His tone changed.
Softer.
"Say you were jealous."
I looked at him.
He was already looking at me.
That same calm face.
But his eyes…
were different.
Waiting.
"…maybe a little."
A small smile appeared on his lips.
"Good."
"Why good?!"
"Because you're mine."
My heart fluttered.
"But no one knows that."
"Doesn't matter."
"It does."
"Not to me."
Silence.
I didn't reply.
But my heart…
felt full again.
That same warmth.
That same feeling.
Even if I couldn't show it.
Even if I had to stay quiet.
Even if I had to smile in silence…
while swallowing everything inside.
Because loving him…
was easy.
Hiding it…
was the hardest part.
And I didn't know then…
that one day…
I would have to hide even more than this.
To be continued…