Dying feels exactly like being on a bridge construction deadline, only to find out the foreman replaced the cement with baby powder. It's confusing, suffocating, and makes you want to cuss out the entire world.
The last thing I remember was a bulldozer. No, not a giant one that turned my body into a pancake. It was just a rusty mini-bulldozer moving slower than a snail with gout. But since my brain had short-circuited from pulling three consecutive all-nighters on a city drainage design, I mistook it for a monster truck about to flatten a high school girl.
I ran, I pushed the girl, and then... I died. Not from the impact, but because my heart decided to resign prematurely out of sheer shock. Embarrassing. If this made the news, the headline would definitely be: "Civil Engineer Dies Pathetically Due to Snail-Pace Vehicle Phobia."
Now, I'm in a vast white room, sitting on a cheap plastic chair with one leg that's a bit "wobbly." In front of me is a wooden office desk with peeling laminate, exactly like the ones in a local government office. And behind that desk... is a sight that makes my blood pressure spike instantly.
A beautiful blonde girl in an expensive-looking transparent gown is chilling with her feet up on the desk. She isn't holding a holy scripture; she's holding a bag of seaweed-flavored chips and a liter bottle of soda.
"Welcome to the afterlife, Kenji-the-Pathetic-Death-san," she said without looking up, her eyes glued to a holographic screen displaying an online shopping cart.
"Just Kenji is fine. And seriously, can't you look at someone when you're talking? Where's your professional ethics as a... what even are you? Heaven's Customer Service?" I asked, my hands itching to audit her messy workstation.
The girl looked up, her clear blue eyes hitting me with the most condescending stare I've ever seen. "I'm Eris, the Goddess who guides young souls to the other world. And honestly, looking at your life history... wow, how dry. A civil engineer? Your hobby is calculating cement volume? You're definitely the type of person who goes to a wedding and spends the whole time tapping the pillars to check the concrete quality, aren't you?"
"HOW DID YOU KNOW, YOU BRAT! E-hem... That's called Quality Control, you intern goddess!" I barked. "And why is this chair wobbly? You're a goddess, right? Use your magic to fix this furniture! This is a total safety violation!"
Eris snorted, blowing chip crumbs off her fingers. "Listen here, trash-human. The fantasy world is currently in a state of 'chaos.' The Demon King is on a rampage, villages are being razed, and their economy is in a deep recession. I'm sending you there. You can pick one divine item, a holy weapon, or an OP skill as your starting capital. Hurry up and choose; I want to get back to my soap opera, 'Turbulence in the Sky Kingdom'."
She flicked her fingers, and hundreds of cards floated in front of me.
[Gram Sword: Slice Anything in One Swing]
[Explosion Magic Level 99: Flatten a Mountain]
[Eternal Hero Strength: Cannot Die]
I looked at them with a deadpan expression. A sword? Too much work, my arms would get tired. Explosion magic? That just ruins the soil structure and creates dust pollution. Eternal strength? That just means I have to work forever without retiring. Absolute horror.
Then, my eyes caught a card tucked behind a stack of "Power of Friendship" cards. It was pitch black with a gear logo and a smirking devil face.
[Kirasaki System: Real Estate Development & Exploitation Division]
I grabbed it. Instantly, a cold robotic voice echoed in my head.
[System Activated. Downloading Corporate Malpractice Protocols...]
[Target Detected: Kenji (Sociopathic Engineer). Synchronization 100%.]
"I choose this," I said with a smirk.
Eris squinted her eyes. "Huh? That's a card from the Kirasaki Corporation? That's a failed product from the department next door meant for villains who want to take over the world through 'insider' channels. You sure? You don't want a cool sword or... I don't know, a chick-magnet skill?"
"Chicks can't build a highway. But evil points can," I answered firmly. My face began to shift, my facial muscles pulling into a predatory grin that made Eris back up a bit. "And one more thing. I have the right to take one thing with me, right?"
"Y-yes, but—"
"I choose you."
Silence. Only the sound of the divine AC humming in the background.
"Eh?" Eris blinked. "What?"
"I'm taking you, you useless goddess. You'll be my first operations staff. No salary, no insurance, and no breaks," I said, standing up and grabbing her wrist.
"WAIT! YOU CAN'T! THIS IS A VIOLATION OF GODDESS RIGHTS! I HAVE TO STAY HERE TO—WAAAAAAAAAA!"
A giant magic circle appeared. Eris's body began to glow, and she started flopping around like a catfish pulled out of a bucket.
"SYSTEM! LOOK AT THIS! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED! HELPPPPP!" she screamed hysterically.
Suddenly, another angel popped out from behind a curtain holding a clipboard. "Request granted. Goddess Eris will accompany candidate Kenji. Good luck, hope you can build a civilization that's... well, at least slightly less evil than a corrupt politician."
"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS PSYCHOPATHHHH!"
The white scenery exploded.
LANDING IN THE NEW (RENTED) WORLD
Thud!
My face ate the grass. It felt... well, like grass. The aroma was fresh, the air was clean, and there was no smell of bus exhaust. Excellent. The tourism potential here is huge if I build a resort hotel.
"SON OF A B*TCHHHH! WHY DID IT TURN OUT LIKE THIS?!"
Beside me, Eris was face-down on the ground, pounding the grass and crying louder than a concrete drill. "My house... my soft bed... my high-speed Heaven Wi-Fi... All gone! And I'm stuck with a human whose face looks more like a fugitive than a hero!"
I ignored her and focused on the holographic screen floating before my eyes.
[System Notification]
Main Mission: Build First Base of Operations.
Status: Not Started.
Current Evil Points: 0 EP.
"System," I muttered. "How do I get points?"
[Answer: Perform actions that are morally detrimental, trigger anger, or exploit resources unethically. The more 'evil' the impact on the social order, the higher the points.]
I nodded. This isn't about killing monsters. This is about becoming a heartless corporate entity. Perfect.
"Oi, useless goddess. Stop the tantrum," I ordered, giving her leg a light kick. "Look over there."
In the distance, there was a wooden cart being pulled by a horned beast. The cart was struggling because the road was full of potholes. An old man was trying to push the back wheel, which was stuck in a mud puddle.
"Oh! This is it! A chance to do good!" Eris suddenly stopped crying, her eyes sparkling. "As a goddess, I'll help that old man and he'll worship me! I'll get my powers back!"
Eris ran fast, her gown fluttering, looking holy for a split second. "Relax, Gramps! I, the kind-hearted goddess, will save you with my mud-purifying magic—"
Yoink!
I grabbed her back collar until she choked a bit and stopped in her tracks.
"What the hell are you doing, you jerk?! Let go! He needs help!"
"Help?" I chuckled, the sound of my laughter sounding exactly like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. "That's not help, Eris. That's called a 'lost business opportunity'."
I walked past a stunned Eris and approached the old man. I put on the friendliest face I could manage—which, unfortunately, to any normal person, still looked like someone planning insurance fraud.
"Afternoon, Gramps," I greeted politely.
The old man turned, his face covered in sweat. "Oh, young man! Thank heavens! Can you help push this cart? I need to get these vegetables to the city before the market closes."
I looked at the hole in the road. Technically, this was a public infrastructure problem.
"Man, Gramps... this looks really bad," I said, shaking my head in concern. I crouched down, touched the mud, and sniffed it as if I were analyzing a lab soil sample. "Do you know what this is? This isn't normal mud. This is 'Cursed Quicksand' from the droppings of an ancient dragon."
The old man's eyes bugged out. "W-what?! Really?"
"Dead serious, Gramps. If you force it, these wheels will explode and spread fungus spores that make all the hair on your body fall out in three seconds," I continued with a super-serious tone.
Eris whispered loudly behind me, "Hey! You're lying, right?! That's just muddy rain-water from last night, right?!"
I ignored the yellow fly. "But, Gramps... lucky for you, I'm a certified road consultant from another world. I have a special tool to stabilize this soil instantly."
I opened the System menu.
[Open Temporary Shop: Basic Construction Tools]
Item: Scrapped Project Wooden Plank (Poor Quality)
Price: 10 EP (Evil Points)
Damn, I don't have points yet. But this system has a "neat" feature.
[Feature: Emergency Point Loan (50% Interest per Hour)]
A loan feature, for real?
"Take a 10-point loan," I thought.
A dull wooden plank appeared in my hand magically. I placed it under the old man's cart wheel. With one small push, the cart rolled out of the mud.
"Oh! Incredible! You're amazing, kid!" The old man tears up in gratitude. "Thank you so much! How can I pay you back? I don't have much money..."
I gave a wide grin. A grin that made Eris's hair stand on end.
"Money? Oh, don't worry about that now, Gramps. I don't need your money today. But, since I saved your life from the 'Cursed Quicksand,' by the unwritten laws of this world, you now owe me 'Land Use Rights'."
"Land... what?"
"Simply put, 50% of your vegetable sales today are mine as an emergency consulting fee. Plus, you need to sign this petition stating that this road is extremely dangerous, meaning only my company is allowed to fix it under a 99-year exclusive contract."
I handed over a contract sheet (thanks, System).
The poor old man, terrified of hair-loss fungus and overwhelmed with gratitude, signed it with a trembling hand.
[Notification: You have performed fear-based fraud on a civilian.]
[Evil Points Obtained: +150 EP!]
[Bonus: Making a goddess feel disgusted by your existence: +50 EP!]
"HEY KENJI! YOU'RE MORE OF A DEMON THAN THE DEMON KING!" Eris screamed while pointing at my face. "He's an old man! Why are you shaking him down?! Apologize right now!"
I stood up, brushed the dust off my pants, and looked at Eris coldly. "Listen, No-Salary Goddess. In this world, kindness doesn't build city walls. Organized evil, on the other hand, creates jobs. Now, shut up and follow me. We have a city to take over... I mean, to 'assist' in its development."
"I want to go home! Swap my hero already! Anyone, please save me from this sociopath!" Eris cried again, but she kept following me because she had nowhere else to go.
I walked toward the city gates on the horizon. My mind was already full of bridge blueprints, drainage systems, and how to monopoly the cement supply in the entire kingdom.
The Demon King? He has a castle, right? I can't wait to check his Building Permit (IMB). If he doesn't have one, I'll personally tear that place down in the name of urban zoning regulations.
Welcome to the fantasy world. The entry fee? Going up by 200% starting tomorrow!