Yumi was working the night patrol overtime.
At this hour, she figured everyone would be staying out of trouble, so she took out the hamburger she'd bought for dinner, planning to pull over and eat before continuing her patrol.
But before she could even take her first bite—
BOOM!
"An... explosion?!"
How could there be an explosion in a residential neighborhood? Was it a gas leak? Or was someone doing something illegal?
Yumi immediately tossed the hamburger onto the passenger seat and drove toward the source of the blast.
She soon arrived in front of a two-story house, where thick smoke was billowing out from the left side of the first floor.
The explosion had clearly happened here.
There was no sign of gunfire or people fighting with knives. It looked more like an ordinary accident.
She slipped the phone she'd been about to use to call Miwako back into her pocket and boldly walked toward the residents who had just climbed out through a window.
That white-haired young man with his back to her, acting all suspicious... he didn't look like a good guy.
"Hey! Hands where I can see them! Nobody move!"
As the words left her mouth, the white-haired young man happened to turn around. Smiling pleasantly at her.
"...Huh? I-Isn't that... Inspector Onizawa?!"
Yumi rubbed her eyes, thinking she must have seen wrong.
Looking past him, she spotted a silver-haired man wearing a black trench coat and a face mask. Standing beside him was a burly man with slicked-back hair, wearing both sunglasses and a mask.
'...Wait. Did I accidentally interrupt Inspector Onizawa's arrest operation?'
Seeing that the responding officer was someone he knew, Ritsu relaxed considerably.
"Miyamoto-san, it was just a small accident over here."
"Inspector Onizawa... what happened?"
Yumi looked worried.
Another possibility crossed her mind.
'Could Inspector Onizawa have been kidnapped again? Did he cause the explosion as a distress signal?'
It had to be said, her imagination was truly remarkable.
At that moment, Ritsu was extremely grateful that Chianti and Kir had already hidden themselves behind the house. Otherwise, explaining their relationship would have been nearly impossible.
He raised a finger and pointed at the silver-haired man.
"My stepfather was cooking for me. He accidentally mishandled something and blew up the kitchen."
"As for the gentleman beside him... He's the son of my stepfather's ex-wife."
"..."
His stepfather blew up the kitchen while cooking?!
Yumi stared at the silver-haired man in shock.
'So his silver hair isn't natural... It's because he's getting old. I never would've guessed someone with a child this grown-up could still look so cool...
I'm kind of jealous. His hair looks really nice. I kind of want to touch it...'
But—
He was Onizawa's stepfather. She had to respect her elders.
"So that's what happened!"
She smiled warmly at Gin.
"Sir, you'll have to be more careful when you're cooking from now on!"
Even through the mask, she could clearly sense the dissatisfaction radiating from him.
"...Hm?"
'Did I say something wrong?'
Awkwardly, Yumi looked toward Ritsu before cautiously correcting herself.
"...Grandpa?"
Ritsu immediately stepped in front of Gin, waving his hands with an embarrassed smile.
"My stepfather doesn't understand Japanese, so he can't understand what you're saying."
"Oh~ I see!"
Yumi nodded in understanding.
"Inspector Onizawa, do you need me to call the fire department? It looks like there's still a fire over there."
"No need. We can handle it ourselves. You should hurry back and finish your dinner."
"Hm? How did you know I was eating?"
Ritsu pointed toward the corner of her mouth and smiled.
"You still have some salad dressing on your lips."
"..."
Yumi had thought she'd made a cool, heroic entrance. Instead, she'd shown up looking like an idiot with salad dressing still stuck to her mouth?!
Muttering a hurried "See you!" she scrambled back into her patrol car. As she drove away, she couldn't help grumbling to herself.
'Don't tell me that slob somehow infected me... Tch. We've already broken up, and he's still rubbing off on me.'
Watching Yumi drive away, Ritsu told Vodka to put out the fire before helping disperse the neighbors who had come over to offer assistance.
He honestly hadn't expected that casually cooking a meal would result in blowing up the kitchen.
'So... Am I actually getting worse at cooking... Or am I getting so good that it's evolved into something else?
If I improve a little more... Would I have wiped out three members of the Organization's assassination unit in one go just now?'
After successfully extinguishing the flames, Vodka walked back inside.
Looking at the devastated kitchen and the living room that had become a complete mess, he felt like crying.
Thankfully, the bathroom hadn't been affected. Otherwise, if the toilet had exploded, it would've been a true disaster.
Because when he'd run away earlier, he'd forgotten to flush.
Kir leaned against the wall, occasionally glancing at Gin before shifting her gaze to Augier. Finally, she lowered her head and struggled to suppress her laughter.
The words stepfather, and grandpa, simply refused to leave her mind. The fact that Gin hadn't killed Augier on the spot was already a miracle.
Gin smoked one cigarette after another.
It was obvious he was in an awful mood.
Noticing this, Ritsu walked over and patted him on the shoulder.
"Gin, I didn't have a choice just now. I wasn't trying to take advantage of you."
Although...
The one who'd really been taken advantage of seemed to be himself. After all, he'd just become Gin's son.
Gin shot the would-be comforter a flat glance.
What truly irritated him wasn't having a son around Augier's age. What really bothered him was being called Grandpa.
Human beings had their pride.
As an assassin, Gin usually couldn't care less what others thought of him.
Most people who wanted to make snide remarks would flee after receiving one cold glare from him.
But never in his wildest dreams had he imagined being called Grandpa by an ordinary traffic policewoman.
He was only thirty-two years old!
He wasn't some old man.
"...Heh. The next time I see her... I'll kill her."
The moment Ritsu heard that, his eyes turned into little dots.
'What on earth is Gin thinking?'
Normally, he wasn't the type to kill innocent people indiscriminately. Could it really be... that being called Grandpa had wounded his tiny little pride?
Chianti poked Kir's arm and whispered,
"I think I just found Gin's weakness."
Kir had a pretty good idea what weakness Chianti meant. Not wanting to get caught in Gin's wrath herself, she kindly warned,
"I suggest you don't. You'll die."
Only someone like Augier could joke around with Gin like this. If it had been the rest of them, they'd probably already be another corpse beneath Gin's Beretta.
Ritsu pulled out his phone and waved it.
"So, what does everyone want to eat? I can order delivery. Consider it my apology for my failed cooking."
'Was that really all it was...?'
Kir looked toward the kitchen, which had been charred completely black.
She suddenly decided that, in the future, it would probably be best to decline any meal invitation involving Augier.
Staying away from Augier's cooking was equivalent to cherishing one's life.
"That's enough. Everyone else can leave."
"Vodka. Clean this place up."
"...Yes, Aniki."
Vodka felt like his hard-earned day off had completely gone down the drain.
Yet he didn't blame Augier. He only blamed himself for suddenly getting a stomachache and running to the bathroom.
'I made Aniki and Augier go hungry. What an unforgivable sin...'
Hearing that, Ritsu's mood immediately improved.
He'd unexpectedly managed to save the cost of buying everyone dinner. Stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he waved goodbye.
"Then I'll be heading home."
And just like that...
He left.
With a wave of his sleeve, he departed without taking so much as a single cloud with him.
Leaving behind only a pitch-black kitchen, and a living room in utter chaos.