Narrator's P.O.V.
The phone lying right next to Kael's head was literally the only bridge between him and Samuel on that Saturday afternoon. Lying flat on his bed, the man stared at the ceiling, listening to the younger boy's murmurs on the other end of the line and the occasional slide of turning pages. Kael tapped his fingers rhythmically on his abdomen, his breathing steady, even if a knot of distress and anxiety was settling in his chest.
"I miss you so damn much, you know?" Kael confessed, his voice raspy and a bit drawn out. The apartment felt far too large and silent without the younger boy's presence there, chattering away and demanding his attention.
"I miss you so much too, Ka..." Samuel replied. From his tone of voice, Kael could perfectly picture the frustrated pout the boy must be making on the other end, likely surrounded by notebooks, sitting in that very specific position the older man considered uniquely his.
"Then come over," he suggested, adjusting himself on the bed as hope flared up quickly. "Catch a motorcycle taxi, I'll pay for the ride. Spend the day here with me."
A heavy, tired sigh echoed through the phone's speaker.
"I can't. I swear I really want to, but my exams start next week. I've been studying like crazy to manage everything, and there are still a few subjects I haven't fully grasped," he said.
"Do you want me to come over and help you?" The man flashed a confident smile, absently playing with the tip of one of his necklaces. "I finished high school a while ago, you know, and my grades were great. I could be an excellent private tutor for you."
Samuel's sweet, genuine laugh filled the call, instantly warming Kael's chest and driving away some of the boredom in that empty room. He was dying to hear the younger boy laugh at his jokes, but hearing it over a phone call didn't feel like enough.
"I appreciate the offer, Mr. Kael, but I prefer studying alone. I can focus much better that way. No distractions." Samuel's tone became a bit more restrained, almost childish. "And besides, my mom would never let me go out right before exam week. It would take an enormous effort to convince her right now, and we'd just end up fighting. You know how she is."
"Yeah... I know..." Kael swallowed hard, his smile slowly dying as he accepted defeat.
And there it was again: the invisible wall that always separated them. No matter how hard they tried to scale the cold structure of reality, sheer willpower wasn't enough to erase the fact that Samuel had no autonomy, lived under his mother's rules, and inevitably had a glaring age gap with Kael.
"So... I guess I'm only seeing you next week... right?" he murmured, clearing his throat so as not to sound as frustrated as he truly was.
"I promise I'll make it up to you when I see you, okay? Don't be sad, Ka..." he pleaded.
Kael smiled. He knew that, just as he had gotten to know Samuel so well after a few months together, the boy also knew him well enough to catch his frustration.
Despite the shattered expectations, neither of them wanted to hang up. The older man lay back down, resting the phone beside his head, and they remained on the line for a long time. The topic drifted from studies to completely mundane things—comments on random videos, irrelevant gossip, and inside jokes that, by then, they had already accumulated—stretching that connection for as long as possible.
In that moment, it was the only way the couple had to ease the longing they felt for each other...
(...)
A few hours had passed since the call, but dissatisfaction was still eating Kael alive from the inside. It was Saturday, Samuel wouldn't be there with him, so the man decided he was going out with his friends. At night, the suffocating silence of the apartment was replaced by the deafening noise of the bar. His friends were upstairs, talking loudly, laughing, and drinking. The table was covered in bags, a few bottles of vodka, cups filled with ice, and energy drinks.
As soon as Ávila approached, everyone greeted him enthusiastically, hugging him warmly one by one. Smoothly and habitually, Kael integrated himself into the circle, placing his bag on the table and grabbing a cup to mix his drink.
"Wait, where's your little boyfriend?" Raphael asked, leaning his elbows on the table and looking around, taking note of the empty spot beside Kael.
"Exam week," Kael answered, taking a long sip of his drink before setting the cup back on the table. "He's trapped at home studying. Couldn't come out."
Pabllyo burst into a loud laugh, throwing his head back and slapping his friend on the shoulder. He knew exactly how frustrated Kael was about it; he knew him too well.
"Ah, Kael... that's the price of wanting to date a young boy, right? He can't come out, he has a curfew... complicated stuff, man..." he teased, laughing at the situation.
The entire table laughed. Kael joined in with a slightly awkward laugh. Truth was, he didn't find it funny at all. The man ran a hand over the back of his neck, nodding vaguely just to avoid dragging out the subject. Deep down, Pabllyo's mocking joke had just given voice and shape to his greatest fear: that glaring incompatibility of their worlds.
And indeed, their worlds were absurdly different.
Before the conversation could dive deeper into that, the table's attention shifted toward the bar's entrance. A murmur of excitement spread through the group as soon as they saw who was approaching the table.
"No way you actually showed up!" Cloe exclaimed, walking over to hug the guy.
Kael raised his eyes from his cup and saw him.
Íkaro Paz. An old friend of the group, and a former casual fling of Kael's.
Íkaro smiled at the friends casually. He wore loose jeans paired with a fitted T-shirt that hugged his frame, highlighting his physique. He carried a gentle yet sharp and mature look... something Kael had known for a long time.
Unlike Samuel, Íkaro exuded the freedom of someone with total autonomy, owner of his own routine, and fully adapted to the city's late nights. He was a familiar face among the group, and a specific chapter in Ávila's past.
Seeing Íkaro there, welcomed with hugs and excitement by the group, set off a silent and uncomfortable alarm in Kael's chest...
(...)
The loud music and the even louder chatter of the group turned into a distant hum as Kael stepped away from the table and headed down to the bar counter to order something different to drink. After a short line, he ordered a lime caipirinha, the house specialty, and sought out a slightly more isolated spot, leaning against one of the nearby counters. Kael watched the ice slowly melt inside his cup, taking a considerable amount of time between each sip. The drink was strong, burning his throat, but it wasn't enough to dispel the uncomfortable feeling the conversation about Samuel's age and Íkaro's arrival had left in his chest.
Kael let out a heavy sigh. He didn't understand the reason for so much frustration, but the truth was he had been feeling this way for days. Always lost in thought, weighing things, without even realizing what he was contemplating. Another sip. The drink seemed to go down with a bitter taste, different from usual. He grimaced, setting his cup aside for a moment. Maybe he should slow down. Maybe he shouldn't be there anymore...
"I thought you didn't like lime caipirinhas," a smooth, deliberate voice sounded right beside him.
Kael turned his face slowly. Íkaro was standing there, just inches away, with a calm, provocative smile on his lips. He placed his own cup on the counter next to Kael's and shifted his full attention back to the older man, leaning his hip against the bar.
"I'm not a huge fan, but you drink what's available," Kael replied, giving a side smile and swirling his cup. "It's been a while, Íkaro."
"Yeah. A really long time," the younger guy agreed, taking a sip of his drink and adjusting his glasses. His gaze was attentive, scanning Kael's face without the slightest shame. "But you know very well why I distanced myself from you guys. I couldn't keep hanging out with the group after that whole misunderstanding."
"I don't know why you believed I would go around spreading things about you. Especially when you were in love with me," Kael said, shaking his head.
"That made me really pissed off, to be honest," Paz huffed, but soon laughed.
Ávila let out a faint laugh, shaking his head at the memory. Time and distance now allowed him to see it through different eyes. It was a funny situation now, even if it had been total chaos back then.
"You should stop listening to Samuel, that's what you should do," Kael countered, his tone light yet direct. "You know he said that back then because he was jealous of you, right? And the best part was you actually believing him."
Íkaro raised an eyebrow, visibly surprised, before letting out a muffled laugh.
"Novaes? Holy shit... I can't believe he did that just to pull me away from you." Íkaro shook his head, staring at Kael with a playful, curious glint in his eyes. He took another step forward, closing the space between them at the counter even further. "Speaking of him... the crew at the table was talking. Is it actually true? Are you dating Samuel?"
The question came loaded with genuine surprise. Íkaro had known Kael from before. Ever since they met, they had established a sort of "friends with benefits" dynamic. They went out, talked, hooked up... it never went beyond that, until Yuri arrived, and then, Samuel. The guy knew Ávila was practical, experienced, independent, and grounded. The idea of Kael tied down to a seventeen-year-old boy sounded almost comedic to him.
Kael held Íkaro's gaze for a few seconds. He felt a subtle discomfort with the question, but maintained an unblemished posture. In the end, he didn't care about others' curiosity regarding his relationship with Samuel, especially because he never hid it when he was in love with someone.
"We aren't dating yet," he answered.
"Yet."
His voice remained firm, though the word "yet" escaped with an inevitable weight. Íkaro was about to open his mouth to reply, likely with another sharp provocation, but was interrupted before he could make a sound.
"Kael. Come with me for a second. I want company to go to the bathroom," Pedro's voice cut through the air like a blade, surprising the pair.
Pedro appeared beside them, his expression serious and his posture rigid. He didn't even look at Íkaro, keeping his eyes fixed on Kael, making it clear that it wasn't a request, but practically a demand for Kael to come along. Kael, for his part, merely nodded, grabbing his cup.
"I'll be right back, Íkaro," Kael murmured, stepping back.
"I'm heading upstairs, I'll catch you up there with the crew," Íkaro replied with that same side smile, following Kael's departure with his eyes.
Pedro walked in silence beside his friend, calmly heading toward a more secluded area away from the bar's noise. Once he decided they were far enough, he turned around to face Kael, crossing his arms and knitting his brow. The older man watched him while taking a sip from his cup, tilting his head as if to ask "what?" The Indigenous man huffed, incredulous at Ávila's dense attitude.
"What were you two talking about so intensely?" Pedro fired off without beating around the bush.
Kael sighed, taking another sip of his drink, trying to look as casual as possible.
"Relax, man. No need to worry, it was nothing major. We were just talking a bit about what happened and catching up," he shrugged. Pedro clicked his tongue, staring at his friend with disbelief stamped on his face.
"'Nothing major'? Kael, respect me. We've known each other for years. The only time you and Íkaro exchanged more than three words was when you were literally begging to sleep with him. You two were never ones to just 'chatter away' like that," he reminded him.
"But it's different now," Kael countered, his tone rising slightly on the defensive. "I know what I'm doing, man."
Pedro held Kael's gaze for a long moment. He didn't believe a single word of that fake conviction, and the older man knew it. The silence between them grew heavy, impregnated with Pedro's unspoken warning: Kael was playing with fire, precisely at a moment when his heart already belonged to someone else. And he wasn't stupid; he knew it all too well.
"It better be different," Silva said finally, shaking his head with veiled disappointment before turning his back and walking toward the bar counter.
Kael stood there alone, the cup nearly empty in his hand, feeling the weight of Pedro's glare and the ghost of reality surrounding him on all sides.
He truly hoped he knew what he was doing...