If anyone ever tells you vacations are relaxing—
They're lying.
Completely lying.
I knew this because I had been tricked into one.
A week ago, everything was normal.
I was working.
Minding my own business.
Enjoying peace.
Then my phone rang.
Big mistake.
Answering it was my first mistake.
"Hello?"
"Adrian!"
Immediately—
I knew trouble had arrived.
"Absolutely not."
Silence.
Then confusion.
"I haven't even asked anything yet."
"You don't need to."
A pause.
"Whatever it is, the answer is no."
Unfortunately—
They ignored that.
Which was how I ended up standing at an airport three days later.
Holding luggage.
Questioning every decision that led me here.
"Look on the bright side."
I looked at him.
"There is no bright side."
"We're going to a tropical island."
"Exactly."
He blinked.
"That's usually considered a bright side."
"Not when I'm involved."
His wife laughed.
Traitor.
The flight was fine.
The hotel was fine.
The island was fine.
The people?
Questionable.
Very questionable.
The first disaster happened at breakfast.
Apparently—
The happy couple decided we should all try local food.
Which sounded innocent.
It wasn't.
"Try it."
"No."
"It's delicious."
"That's exactly what dangerous things say before they become dangerous."
She laughed so hard she nearly spilled her drink.
Everyone else tried it.
I remained loyal to survival.
The second disaster happened at the beach.
They wanted volleyball.
I wanted shade.
Guess who lost?
Me.
Again.
Thirty minutes later—
I was diving through sand.
Getting hit by volleyballs.
Losing my dignity.
And somehow—
Having fun.
Which was deeply annoying.
By the third day—
Things got worse.
Because I realized something.
I was enjoying myself.
An unacceptable development.
The ocean was beautiful.
The weather perfect.
The company surprisingly decent.
Don't tell them I said that.
I have standards.
On the final night—
We sat together on the beach.
Watching the sunset.
Nobody talked much.
Just listened to the waves.
For once—
The silence felt comfortable.
Then she smiled.
"You know..."
I immediately regretted listening.
"What?"
"You had fun."
"No."
"You did."
"I absolutely did not."
Her husband laughed.
"He's lying."
"I am not."
"You smiled."
The betrayal.
The evidence.
Unacceptable.
Everyone laughed.
And honestly—
I laughed too.
Just a little.
Because despite all the chaos—
Despite all the nonsense—
Despite being surrounded by exhausting people—
It had been a good vacation.
The worst vacation of my life.
And somehow—
One of the best.
Don't expect me to admit that again.
Ever.