I sat on a fallen log, trying to catch my breath. The Velociraptor nudged my shoulder, eyes gleaming with a mix of loyalty and PTSD. The monkey, perched on a nearby branch, bared its tiny teeth and flexed its claws like a furry martial artist.
"…Alright," I muttered, cracking my knuckles. "Let's see what this ridiculous team can do."
The forest suddenly erupted with movement. From the shadows, a pack of small, spiky dinosaurs—clearly hungry and dumb—emerged, their claws scraping the dirt.
The system chimed aggressively:
---
[Threat Detected: Multiple Prehistoric Predators]
[Recommended Strategy: Deploy Tamed Allies]
[Combat Bonus: Chaos Synergy Available]
---
"Perfect," I said sarcastically. "Time for team chaos."
The raptor screeched, charging straight at the nearest dino. I watched as it lunged, teeth gnashing… then froze.
"…Wait—what are you doing?"
The monkey squeaked, leapt down, and swung a fruit at the same dinosaur, hitting it squarely in the head. The dino staggered, confused. Then I remembered my role.
I spun around, grabbed the nearest… yes… poop. And hurled it like a missile. SPLAT.
The target froze. Then backed away slowly, terrified, as if the very essence of fear had just hit it in the face.
The system screamed in delight:
---
[SYNERGY BONUS ACHIEVED]
Poop Strike + Velociraptor Attack + Monkey Fruit Assault = Maximum CHAOS
Enemy morale: 0%
Expected Outcome: Complete Domination
---
The remaining dinos hesitated. The raptor hissed. The monkey chattered, throwing another fruit. And I… well… I flung another brown missile of doom.
One by one, the dinosaurs fled. The forest echoed with their terrified shrieks.
I stood there, chest heaving, the raptor panting beside me, the monkey perched on my shoulder, fruit in hand like a tiny samurai.
"…I hate how effective we are," I muttered.
The system chimed:
---
[Combat Complete]
[Chaos Team Performance: 100%]
[New Ability Unlocked: "Poop Command" – Allows allied tamed creatures to synergize attacks with intimidation effect]
[Experience Gained: +9001 pride points]
---
The raptor nudged me, the monkey squeaked proudly, and I realized something:
I had officially become the most absurdly terrifying master the prehistoric world had ever seen.
"…And I'm only getting started," I said, grinning despite the smell.