A wedding is one of the most anticipating events in every woman's life and take note, it's the most memorable, happiest, and thrilling beginning for the couple. I'm so happy to be with my friends on their wedding day. I can't wait to wear a gown and walk down the aisle as one of the bridesmaids.
My eyes are fixated on the couple in front of me right now. They were happy while staring at each other. I have a confession, I had a thing with Emmanuel before, we chatted when he was in Canada. I thought I would be with him since we knew each other and we chatted for months. Laura knew that we have communication and she was excited when she learned that because she thought, finally I would get a boyfriend, but sadly he was still into Laura. He's Laura's ex and guess what? He really loves her. I thought I could replace her, but no, he's still in love with my best friend. I have no grudge against them, honestly, I'm happy for them. They were destined to be with each other.
I turned my back on them to wipe my tears. My tears can't stop falling and I don't know why. Is it because I'm hurt? No. I'm totally happy for her.
While I was crying nonstop, someone suddenly gave me a back hug.
"L-Louise." It was Laura. She's crying on my shoulder.
"I-I'm sorry." She said between her sobs. I wiped my tears and faced her.
I smiled. "You don't need to apologize. He loved you and still loves you. I'm genuinely happy for you."
She hugged me tightly and cried on my shoulder. I patted her back, while my tears keep streaming down my face.
"I-I know I've hurt you." She stopped and looked straight into my eyes. "Before, you had a gut feeling that I told Emmanuel to stop pursuing you because I still love him even though I have a boyfriend at that time. You didn't ask me about it. You kept pretending that you didn't know what I told him. I'm sorry."
She cried in front of us. I knew what she said, but I didn't confront her.
"I'm really really sorry for being selfish and hurting someone like you. I don't deserve you as my best friend. You're too good for me, Louise. I hope you can forgive me." She muttered.
Why can't I be mad at her? Why can't I acknowledge that I'm hurt? Am I too weak? Can I handle the pain? What should I tell her? Should I say that she's fake? That she's too selfish? That she's too full of herself?
In the end, I smiled genuinely. "No. I told you earlier that you don't need to apologize. You didn't do something wrong." I looked at Emmanuel. "He just really loves you. He didn't choose me because he doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't want to give me false hope that's why he chose to listen to you."
I bowed because I'm embarrassed to show my tears. I don't want them to see that I'm in pain right now. This time, I will acknowledge my feelings. I'm hurt because of what she did to me, but a part of me is still thankful because he didn't give me false hope. He followed Laura right away.
The only thing that I hear is my sobs. "I-I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a fun activity, but we're here, still crying. Don't mind me, you can enjoy the view."
I walked towards my things and sat there. I feel their stares behind me. The beautiful view calmed my heart and my mind. They said, when you're in beautiful scenery you can forget every problem that you have and the only thing you will think is how God created this amazing view for you to forget your struggles or trials in life.
God knows our hearts and struggles that's why he created a lot of beautiful scenery for us to appreciate and to tell you that life is beautiful. You should never give up.
"If you want to say something, tell me." Coleen sat beside me, smiling.
"We should always acknowledge our emotions," Lovie said, behind me.
"When we need you, you're always there for us. This time, we are your safe place." Marie said, sitting on my left side.
My other friends are with Laura and these three girls are with me. I sighed heavily, wiped my tears, and faced them.
"I'm okay," I said, smiling. "Don't worry about us, we're not fighting."
I stood up and looked around. I pity myself because I can't be angry, can't shout, can't tell my feelings. It sucks to be me.
"Louise!" Laura shouted my name. She's running towards me while she's crying.
I frowned at her because I don't like a dramatic scene. "Why are you still crying?"
She lifted her head and immediately hugged me. I quite caressed her back.
"I-I'm sorry because you don't deserve to be hurt. You've been through a lot, but I still did it to you. I betrayed you." She keeps saying sorry to me.
"Shhh. Keep your mouth shut. I told you many times that you don't need to apologize." I looked into her eyes. "You never betrayed me, maybe I was just assuming that we could be together. I thought someone like Emmanuel, could love me the way their boyfriends love them. Now I know that you're irreplaceable."
I can't take this anymore. I hope Laura will not cry and bring up this topic again because I'm tired.
"Hey!" Daniel shouted so we looked at him.
Hays! Thanks to Daniel for saving me.
"Can I say something?" He asked us. "Is it too late to ask Lovie's hand?"
We immediately looked at Lovie, she froze in her place. Is this another proposal? Of course.
Daniel approached her and knelt in front of her. He's now crying. If a man cried while proposing to you, it means he really loves you but, not all men. I don't like to generalize men because some of them are fake, they will cheat on you, be manipulative, obsess, and they will hurt you. I don't trust men except, RealSeven.
"I never thought that you would love this kind of person, love. I'm grateful for having you as my girlfriend." Daniel said while he's in tears. "This is the beginning of our unending love story. You told me many times that when I will propose to you, it should be in front of your family and friends. Don't worry love, I asked permission from your family and they said yes."
Lovie can't speak right now. She's crying because of the happiness that she's feeling at this moment. I know her very well. She doesn't want to show her tears when she's mad at us but, she can't stop crying when she's happy. In our group, Haye and Lovie have the strongest personality but actually, they are the most thoughtful among us.
"I'm just waiting for your yes. I hope you will say yes." He smiled. "Will you spend your life with me? Will you be with me for a lifetime when we're creating our poems? Will you marry me?"
She can't stop crying. "Y-Yes." She said between her sobs.
Daniel jumped and punched the air. He can instantly carry her because of their height difference. He embraced her like she's a bag of gold that he never want to steal from him.
I just looked at them while smiling. I don't have any words to say because my head was too cloudy to think about what will happen in their future. I hope they will grow old together, happily and healthy.
"Sis." Lovie hugged me as she left Daniel with the boys.
They like to hug me, but I'm not really fond of skinship. Can they just be distant from me? 'cause I don't really like to be hugged. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with a not affectionate family that's why I don't like any physical contact, but I do really appreciate it when they're hugging me. It feels like I'm important.
"Thank you for being my rant person." She muttered. "I told you before that even I have a boyfriend, you're still my safe place, my home buddy. I'm still ranting you about how fuck life is. And now, I'm getting married, I hope I can rant you about my journey with Daniel."
I'm blessed to be with these 9 beautiful human beings. Even if I'm not lucky to have a boyfriend, still lucky to have friends who I can always rely on.
"I'm all ears, Lovie," I whispered. "Just be happy with him. I pray that you will have a happy family, but a chaotic one. More children more fun."
I burst out laughing so she hit me. We continued our sightseeing and took a lot of pictures. The photos I took, I will put in my diary. These are memories that should be treasured because our vacation is like a roller coaster. I thought It would have a lot of fun times, but it has downtimes as well. Our relationship deepened because we discovered the others sides of one another.
While I was looking and thinking of something, Marvin approached me.
"Let's take a picture." He said, again.
"Don't you see that I have swollen eyes right now?" I asked.
I'm lazy to smile in front of the camera.
"Just one picture and I let you leave here, alone." He pleaded.
I let out a big sigh and smiled at him. He raised his phone and we took plenty of photos.
"I got what I want." He said, smiling. "Thank you. You can now think about what were you thinking earlier. If you feel like you're drowning in your own thoughts, just shout my name I'll save you."
"Thank you by the way." I smiled, looking straight into his eyes.
If my eyes could talk, I wouldn't say a word. I hope he can understand through my eyes that I'm not okay. I need someone who I can lean on.
I'm feeling strong because I want to be strong, emotionally. My mother is a strong woman but her daughter isn't.