Felix Graham's first thought was that he shouldn't hold his breath. The memory came suddenly, a crude animation of a little guy trying to hold his breath in space and exploding.
As Felix exhaled into the black expanse, he was struck by how… normal everything felt.
YOU ARE DEAD.
YOU NEED NOT REMAIN SO.
The words weren't heard so much as felt in his chest. Or, where his chest should have been. Instead, his form seemed to be a thick, fog like substance.
THE KING HAS CHOSEN.
A black chess piece, the king, obviously, floated slowly in front of him.
He tried to grab it, but his foggy hands broke apart on the piece.
Thankfully, it decided to solve that issue by sinking into his chest.
The fog grew even denser, and Felix's senses returned to him just long enough to understand just how completely wrong this was. His vision doubled, vertigo and crushing gravity hit him at once, and then it vanished at the same time he did.
…
In another world, Subaru Natsuki's consciousness faded in and out, while staring into the kind eyes of a cute elf.
Then he fell into a slumber from which he would not wake intact.
The Dream-Space was an open-style colosseum, with a thick sand floor and stone walls with numerous Roman arches.
Both fighters stood across from each other, Felix Graham on one end, his form made solid, but greyscale, shifting slowly as though it was still made of fog, held tightly into human shape. On the other side was Natsuki Subaru, survivor of Elsa the Bowel Hunter, in his dirty tracksuit.
Knowledge struck both of them at once. Victory conditions, consequences.
"..No. No! This is crazy, what the hell did I ever do to you!" Subaru yells, at Felix or the arena, or both.
Both of them knew, with certainty, that the other would kill them. They had no choice. This battleground was part of a much deeper ritual. Winner takes all, memories, the body they're both inhabiting, the powers and skills they both held, everything.
Subaru made the first move, rushing forward with a roar, he threw punches wildly, recklessly.
Felix did the same.
"You don't want this either, so just leave!" Subaru yelled. He knew it wasn't that simple.
Neither boy knew how to fight, and Subaru had more experience.
Felix had more to lose. He had died already. As much as it sickened him, he had a chance to live again. A chance to feel the sun on his skin and eat food and talk to people - but if he failed here, he'd go back.
'Absolutely not.'
His solid, grey form bled smoke, and he threw away what little combat knowledge he knew, biting, grabbing Subaru's hair and thrashing like a wild animal.
An elbow caught Subaru in the mouth, and he spit out a tooth.
Subaru kicked Felix where his balls should have been, and he kneeled over in pain.
'If I stop, I die.' Felix forced himself to focus, sweeping Subaru's knee and kicking him in the head, but Subaru grabbed his foot after and unbalanced him.
They both stood back up. "There has to be something else." Felix stepped back.
Subaru looked around. "...Yeah, maybe."
The silence stretched for a few seconds, before Subaru took a deep breath, and moved forward.
The cycle continued. Several of Felix's bones were broken, but as his body wasn't made of flesh, only the pain remained as proof.
Both boys were breathing heavily. Felix wondered why that part of his biology seemed accurate, before having to dodge a swipe from Subaru.
"Damn it, let me win next time." Subaru groaned, before weakly swiping at Felix with a barely clenched fist.
Then he collapsed, unconscious.
Felix sat heavily, glad it was over.
Then his own vision blurred.
'Shit. Shitshitshit. I can't let him wake up first!' Felix crawled forward, face pale.
Hovering over Subaru, he hesitated.
'Please. Just finish it. Don't make me.' His eyes closed involuntarily, before he forced them open.
"I'm sorry." He wrapped his hands around Subaru's throat, and squeezed.
Squeezed until Subaru regained consciousness, face turning purple as his body - or soul, forced it to fight once more. Squeezed even as unfamiliar images swam before his eyes. A convenience store, a mother, an elf. Squeezed until his fingers hurt and his arms were ripped raw from Subaru's fingernails. Squeezed until Subaru Natsuki was dead.
…
The next morning, Subaru gasped as he woke up. The ceiling was unfamiliar, in the way seeing something in a picture doesn't prepare you to see it in reality. It had some sort of bronze inlay that was probably meant to mimic depth, so long as you didn't look closely.
Subaru -No, Felix- stood up shakily, before sitting back down as he remembered. Memories of the Loot House arrived alongside memories of the void, of realizing he was dead. Both were his past, both happened simultaneously, and Felix wasn't certain how to parse that. Especially as Felix knew Subaru Natsuki to be the main character of Re:Zero. He knew some of Subaru's future, his struggles, his attachment to Emilia (which seems ever present, given the butterflies in his stomach).
He knew Subaru Natsuki was dead, Felix didn't owe him enough to see his suicidal character arc through. Felix could just… leave.
Unbidden, a Pawn piece appears in his hand, and Felix knew he could, with a little effort, Reverse-Summon himself to any world he could envision. The piece glowed crimson, as he thought about Subaru, and what he had done to survive their encounter. The piece shuddered in his hand, waiting to be used. Felix knew he could use it, the same way the King piece had been used, sending him back into the Dream-Space. Another fight in the arena, another identity to gain or lose, with all the rewards and consequences that came with.
Felix felt nauseous, and the piece disappeared back to wherever it rested when he wasn't focusing on them.
Looking at his body, so different from what he remembered, Felix thought about who he really was. Felix Graham didn't know what it felt like to kill someone, so maybe he was dead, too.
If Felix Graham as he used to be was dead, and Subaru Natsuki as he could be was dead, then the truth remains somewhere in the middle, but, considering this used to be Subaru's body, he may as well get used to the name, if nothing else.
Subaru left the room, walking forward for almost a full minute before he noticed that he had the painting next to his door twice. Idly, he remembered that the hallway was looped.
He knocked on the door. No response.
Shrugging, Subaru walked forward to the next door. Knocked, waited, Knocked again, moved on.
He repeated this loop three times, using the painting to count. As he went to knock on the door again, it opened.
Subaru stepped inside. "Hello, lost child, I'm Subaru." He smirked at the drill loli.
"An idiot is an idiot, I suppose." She replied.
"Usually, when someone gives you their name, it's polite to give your own in kind." He stroked his chin, as though giving sage advice. "This is the library then?"
"It's Betty's multipurpose room. I suppose it's both a library and a bedroom." She huffs.
"I bet the bed's cramped, somewhere between all those shelves." Subaru nods.
Betty stands up, placing her book down. She walks right up to Subaru. "Hmmph, calling Betty's room small? Hold still." She placed her hand on Subaru's stomach.
Every muscle in his body contracts at once as painful electric shocks are somehow pulled from his body. After a moment, she pulls her hand back, and Subaru falls to his knees.
"What the hell was that?" Subaru manages to spit out as his muscles continue to spasm sporadically.
"Not much. I suppose all I did was collect the mana within your body." She responds. "On the bright side I now know you are not an enemy."
Subaru focused on breathing.
"Could I… read a book next time?" He tried to smile, before passing out, but not before hearing her response.
"Hmmph, I'll just collect another payment, I suppose."
Subaru woke up. The ceiling was unfamiliar, but he turned his head to the door, where two maids were standing together, their hands entwined.
"Oh, he's awake, sister."
"Indeed, he is, sister."
Subaru blinked. "Is everyone in this place so pretty?"
"Sister, he's going to violate you in his mind." The blue haired one, Rem, said, shifting her shoulders in a terrible mimicry of disgust.
"It's terrible, he's doing shameless things to you in his mind, sister." The pink haired one, Ram, replied, deadpan.
"All's fair in love and war?" Subaru scratches his chin, feeling a little embarrassed. The sisters were gorgeous, and Subaru had to make a conscious effort to focus on their faces, rather than their outfit, and what parts of them it emphasized.
A knock at the door prevented them from saying anything further, and Emilia entered
"I see you're awake, Subaru." Emilia was wearing a pink dress with sleeves that hung off her shoulders.
Subaru found himself nodding, as though agreeing with the design choice. "Whoever picked that outfit totally gets it."
"I'm not sure I get it, but I know it's something silly." Emilia tilted her head cutely.
"Emilia-sama, my dear sister was just violated by that man." Rem says matter-of-factly, pointing directly at Subaru.
"Please listen, Rem was held prisoner and shamed by that man." Ram deadpans, also pointing at Subaru.
"Try not to tease him too much, okay?" Emilia replies, walking past them to Subaru.
"As you wish Emilia-sama, my sister is very sorry." Rem says.
"Very well Emilia-sama, Rem is very sorry as well." Ram replies.
"Subaru, how are you feeling? Are you sore? Does anything feel off?" She examines Subaru closely.
"Hm? Sorry, I still feel a little groggy from oversleeping. You healed me up, right Emilia?" Subaru bows his head. "Thank you, for everything."
Emilia shakes her head. "I should be thanking you. You barely know me, yet you risked your life to save me. A little healing was nothing." She smiles.
"Alright, alright, we're both thankful, then. Let's go touch some grass." Subaru stretches, climbing out of bed.
"Touch grass? Why?" Emilia asks.
…
Subaru walks around the yard, shirtless and without shoes, smiling like a loon.
"The sun on my skin, nature under my feet. This is truly something special." He sighs, closing his eyes and enjoying it, arms held out in a Y shape.
"Do you know some kind of nature magic, Subaru?" Emilia asks, watching.
"Nope. Just praising the sun." Subaru chuckles, mimicking Solaire's praise the sun pose.
After a moment, Emilia adopts the pose too. "Praise the sun?"
Then Puck pops into the air above Emilia. "Praise the sun!"
"Heya Subaru, it's a great morning, isn't it?" He grins.
"Well, I can't really complain. It's so nice to feel normal again." Subaru sighed in contentment. "Plus I get to spend time with Emilia with the sun on my bare skin."
"Don't make it sound so scandalous!" Emilia pouted. "Good morning, Puck. Sorry I pushed you so hard yesterday"
Puck landed in Emilia's open hands. "Good morning Lia, I'm glad I didn't lose you. I can't thank Subaru enough. I'll have to repay him somehow."
"Then let me pet you whenever I want!" Slipped out of Subaru's mouth before he knew it. He covered his mouth, far too late. Puck floated smugly in front of him, radiating 'soft-fur energy'.
"Eh? That's it?" Emilia tilted her head.
Subaru reached out, and Puck floated into his hands, content to let Subaru pet his belly with his index finger. "So cute, if I hadn't seen it, I would have no idea your ice is so powerful. Ah! I just want to hug you and never let go."
Emilia looked at him strangely.
"It's okay, Lia. There's not even a little bit of malice or ill-intent. Subaru really is that carefree." Puck chuckled as he eventually floated out of Subaru's grasp.
"You… really are a bit strange, Subaru." Emilia smiled.
Subaru blushed, before collecting himself. "If I could ask for something else too, then… maybe hear me out about a few things? There are a lot of things I could use some help with, even if it's just information and advice."
"Sure, what's got you all nervous?" Puck asked.
Subaru pulled Emilia and Puck a little further away from the Manor.
"Do people from other worlds ever appear here?"
"Otherworlders huh? That explains a lot." Puck idly does a loop in the air.
"Are you an otherworlder, Subaru?" Emilia asks.
Subaru nods.
"You were curious about me, right? Why I was so determined that day in the loot house?"
Emilia nods.
"For you, we had only just met. I'm sure it seemed weird that I was willing to do so much. The truth is, you saved me. I... have an ability, I can't name it outright. It lets me experience possible futures." Subaru fumbles his words, figuring out what to say as he goes.
Puck listens intently. "Experience?"
"Experience. Every time I see one, I feel it. Taste it. Smell it. It... It feels like a curse. I died. I keep dying. I get to experience the future, but only the bad ones. Only the ones where I die." Subaru shook, clamping down on the panic that tried to flood him as he remembered Elsa's blade carving through his stomach.
Emilia looked alarmed, arms waving for a moment as she considered whether to hug him or give him space.
Puck landed on his shoulder, rubbing his cheek with one of his furry paws.
"Breathe." He said, then. "You can't see a future where things go well?"
"No."
"Then how do you know there is one?"
"Because I can learn."
Puck remains silent. "The Witches scent... so you've been touched by one of them somehow, and yet... I don't detect any malice or hate from you. You truly don't know what you have, do you?" Puck looked curious.
Subaru twitched, opening his mouth to deflect, before stopping himself.
"I have an idea. I wish I could say more." Subaru shrugged, centering himself.
"I don't really get it, but you saw futures, one where I saved you, and you wanted to save me because of it?" Emilia asks.
"I- I guess that's pretty much it. It's not just you saving me though. Emilia-tan IS super cute, too." Subaru blinked, a blush forming as he realized what he said. 'Emilia-tan? Where did that come from?'
Emilia just smiled. "If you can say that, I guess you're feeling better."
Subaru wanted to ask more questions, but they were interrupted by Rem and Ram, who bowed, before speaking in unison. "Emilia-sama. Our lord, Roswaal-sama, has returned. Please come inside."
Despite asking for Emilia specifically, the twins led them all inside.
"I was watching from upstairs, and you know what? You really are as careless as you look." Betty humphed.
"Nuh uh."
"Now you're being a child, it irritates me, I suppose."
Emilia enters the room, and Betty's concentration is instantly taken with Puck.
"Nii-chan! I've been waiting for you to come home, do you suppose you could spend the day with me, please?" Her expression is one of childlike joy.
"Sure, let's take the day off and relax." Puck floats into her hands, and she immediately turns and runs off with him.
"In a dither?" Emilia chuckles. "Beatrice has always been close with Puck."
"In a dither, huh? Do people still speak like that?" Subaru wondered.
A… flamboyant figure entered the room. Subaru would have called him a clown, before he remembered just who- and how dangerous- this man was.
"My, my! How unusual to see our Beatrice here. I'm happy to have you here to dine with us. " His tone was melodic.
Betty stopped rubbing her face against Puck long enough to reply. "I suppose that boy is more than dumb enough for me. I was only waiting on Nii-chan."
The man turned toward Subaru. "I am the lord of this manor, Roswaal L. Mathers, it's a pleasure to meet you, Natsuki Subaru-kun."
…
The meal went quietly. Subaru tried to make small talk with the twins, but while they answered him politely, they also kept their distance. It didn't help that he felt uncomfortable eating while they simply stood behind Roswaal.
"You are a strange man, Natsuki Subaru. You visit the mansion of Margrave Mathers, in the Kingdom of Lugunica, and yet you are completely ignorant of the affairs here." Roswaal stated.
"State of affairs? Is something bad happening?" Subaru asked before realizing it was a trap.
"No matter how you look at it, it isn't an agreeable position. The king is dead, after all." Roswaal let the silence linger for a moment. "Of course, we all know this already." Despite saying it, there's a little smirk directed at Subaru. "At the same time, an epidemic struck the capital. The king and his children were the last of his line. Now a council of wise men is ruling the country while they select the next king."
"Ah, and as an otherworlder, the timing is suspicious?" Subaru put it out there, through his conversation with Puck, he knew that otherworlders were rare, but not unheard of.
"Not only that, but you've made contact with Emilia-sama and connected yourself to my household." Roswaal continued.
"Emilia-sama?" Subaru asks.
"Ah, that is- I'm one of the candidates to become the forty-second ruler of Lugunica. Margrave Roswaal is acting as my sponsor." Emilia answered, looking slightly embarrassed, placing her insignia down. "I wasn't meaning to keep it secret."
"And you lost it?" Subaru asked incredulously. It was one thing to vaguely remember the plot, and another to hear about it in person.
"I didn't lose it! It was stolen!" Emilia pouts.
"Same thing! Wait, if she hadn't found it, would they have given her another?" Subaru asks.
"If she couldn't keep hold of a tiny insignia, how could she manage the kingdom? It would've been the proof needed to deny her claim." Roswaal answers.
"You helped me more than you could imagine." Emilia smiles. "So ask for anything."
Unbidden, the words 'marry me!' nearly fly out of his mouth, but Subaru catches it.
"Merely say the word, and you can have anything your heart desires!" Roswaal throws his arms open dramatically.
'Not helping!' Subaru feels his heart race at the words 'anything your heart desires'.
"Then… support me as I adapt to this new world." Subaru bows his head. "I don't know the language of this country, I have no money, nor the skills to survive in such a foreign place. Please, teach me what I need to know, and even the things I don't even know I need to know!"
Silence lingers for a moment. "Perhaps you are not a complete idiot, I suppose." Betty replies.
…
The twins fitted him, taking measurements and adjusting clothing that would fit Subaru. Some of it was staff clothing, some were modified women's clothing. A half dozen outfits, temporary, until a proper wardrobe could be ordered.
Betty was busy with Puck, and Emilia was off doing something as well, so Subaru mostly followed the twins around, getting a tour of the mansion and watching them work. If the banter was anything to go by, they didn't necessarily mind it.
The next few days passed quickly. Mornings with Emilia, afternoons with Rem and Ram, and evenings with Betty doing the bare minimum to teach him the alphabet.
He helped with the chores when he could, feeling strangely restless. After the first time he cut his hand while peeling potatoes, he was banned from helping meal prep. The bandage reminded him of boxing wraps, and he idly wondered if he was an idiot for thinking it looked 'cool'. Not for the first time, Subaru wished he had watched the entirety of Re:zero, and that he remembered more of it. The twins were important, as was Emilia. Roswaal was a loose ally, or just shady.
As he lay in bed that night, several days after the fight with Elsa, he wondered how long this stretch of peace would last..
…
Subaru gasped as he woke up. The ceiling was unfamiliar, in the way seeing something in a picture doesn't prepare you to see it in reality. It had some sort of bronze inlay that was probably meant to mimic depth, so long as you didn't look closely.
Subaru sat up, stretching. He reached up to scratch his chin. The bandage was gone.
"Oh, that was fast.."
______________________________________________________
Author's Note:
This one was heavily inspired by another fic on this site, Fated Adventure. Genuinely go read that instead. This one is about as dead as World-Power Randomizer, this chapter fought me and I don't think I have a second round in me.