Thor could not—would not—accept that his beloved hammer could end up in someone else's hands. His voice boomed in denial:
"No! Absolutely not! That's impossible!"
Stephen raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by the theatrics. "You're being dramatic. It's a weapon. You used it. Someone else could too."
"You know nothing, Stephen!" Thor snapped. "Mjölnir isn't just a hammer. It's the symbol of the God of Thunder! And… wait—if this is a clip from the future, when is it from? If it's after the battle with Thanos, Mjölnir should've been destroyed!"
His head was spinning. And the ticking countdown wasn't helping. Meanwhile, Deadpool—aka the universe's most talkative headache—was still going strong right beside him:
"Hey, Cap could lift your hammer too, right? So why's he not one of the options? Oh wait, maybe he retired? Or maybe… his contract was too expensive so Marvel killed him off?"
Wade gave a stage whisper and mock gasp.
"Damn shame, America's Ass had a lot of fans."
Then he leaned toward Thor, grinning like he lived to be annoying (because he did).
"Hey, Thor, buddy—eyes on me—who would you pick to inherit your hammer? Your wife? Girlfriend? Sister? Secret lover? Come on, help a Deadpool out."
"By the beard of Odin—what the hell are you even talking about?!"
Thor was already confused enough without Wade's constant blabbering adding fuel to the fire. Wife, girlfriend, secret lover? What did Wade think he was—Tony Stark?
The countdown was hitting its final moments. The players, clearly experienced at this, waited until the very last second to slap the answer button. No one wanted to be the first to stand out.
Thor won the race to buzz in. He looked over the four choices, scanning them over and over, and finally chose option C…
If he had to pick someone worthy of Mjölnir, he figured it would be Jane Foster. Simple reason: they were in the middle of a romantic reunion right now.
The other five players picked different options. Only Stephen and Annie got it right—both through pure dumb luck. So, Thor got 4 points, Stephen and Annie earned 1 point each, and the other lost a point apiece.
"…It really was Jane?"
Even though he answered correctly, Thor just stood there, blank-faced, like he'd been hit with Mjölnir himself.
He swore that even though he'd picked Jane out of emotional instinct, his rational brain had screamed she was the least likely choice. And yet—option C was right.
Unbelievable. Jane was just a mortal woman from Earth. How could she be Mjölnir's next wielder?
While he stood there questioning everything, the light screen began playing the video showing the correct answer.
Strangely, the opening scene wasn't of Jane—it was of Korg, the rocky guy with the New Zealand accent, telling a story.
A story about The Space Viking, Son of Odin, God of Thunder—Thor Odinson.
Apparently, Thor had been slicing people up on the battlefield as a baby, cradled in his mother's arms. So yeah, the war god title? Kind of legit.
As he grew older, Thor began his long and colorful journey of romance…
And let's just say, his taste was broad. At one point, he even had a thing with a she-werewolf.
Watching all this old history play out on screen, Thor outside the screen looked visibly uncomfortable. He lifted a hand to cover half his face, groaning.
Wade grinned like he'd just struck comedic gold.
"Daaaamn, Thor! You really went there. Riding on a she-wolf and riding the she-wolf—hoo boy! I'm learning so much today."
"Shut up, you lunatic!" Thor roared at him, then muttered to himself, "Great… Jane's probably watching this live. How am I supposed to explain that when I get back?"
To be fair, this entire Quiz game had messed with his timeline. Realistically, he shouldn't have even run into Jane Foster again.
But fate—or maybe some cosmic retcon—had other plans. Not long ago, Thor had been aimlessly wandering when he literally bumped into Jane. Cue instant rekindled romance. Like the universe itself was correcting something.
In the video, in the original timeline, Thor did consider Jane his true love. But in the end, their relationship fizzled. More accurately, she broke up with him.
And during that dark chapter, Thor lost nearly everything—his father, mother, close friends, brother, and even his home. He spiraled hard and turned into a depressed, overweight mess of a god.
Veteran fans watching caught on—this clip was from after the battle with Thanos, when Thor joined the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Post-Endgame, Thor traveled the cosmos with them, seeking a new purpose. Eventually, he got back into shape, training like a maniac. But inside? Still broken. Still wandering.
In search of spiritual peace, Thor started dressing like some kind of thunder monk, meditating and soul-searching.
Then came the shot of him straddling Stormbreaker like it was a flying broomstick, soaring through the air like a wizard on bath salts.
That image had the entire room of players snorting with laughter.
Thor, of course, was not laughing. Another entry added to the ever-growing Black Book of Thor's Most Embarrassing Moments.
Still, say what you will—his power was unmatched. Whenever the Guardians ran into someone too tough to handle, Thor would step in and end things quick.
Though, yeah… he had a bad habit of only showing up when the fight got really desperate. He definitely enjoyed the whole "savior" vibe.
This time was no different.
The Guardians were in the middle of a brutal fight when Thor strolled onto the battlefield in a flowing robe, moving like bullets didn't even register. His smug "I'm here now" energy practically oozed off the screen.
They were helping out some alien king whose people had once lived in an oasis—until their gods were murdered, and with them, their sanctuary.
The culprit? No surprise—Gorr the God Butcher.
Now, the king's sacred temple had been overtaken by a gang of violent invaders, and they were hoping the Guardians could clear it out.
But those guys packed some serious firepower. Star-Lord and the others were struggling.
Enter Thor.
He didn't disappoint. But before throwing hands, he made sure to put on a little thunder-god showboating. He summoned Stormbreaker, lit up like a storm cloud, and launched himself into the fray like a bolt from the heavens.
His enemies went down like dominoes. Then, without missing a beat, he charged the temple the invaders had occupied, cutting his way through like a lightning-fueled buzzsaw.
Victory? Achieved.
Collateral damage? Oh yeah—the entire majestic temple? Totally obliterated.
____
T/N:
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