"Tsubaki-chan, wake up~ I have a message from Lady Sakura~!"
At long last, the day of the long-awaited play had finally arrived, but when Tsubaki awoke, she found that she was no longer lying in her bed in the palace's guest room, but rather on a bed of damp pine needles in the middle of a gloomy forest.
"Hasn't she ever heard of messenger hawks?" Tsubaki said blearily as she sat up, plucking a blue and white chihuahua-sized slug from her chest. "What does she want?"
"Lady Sakura wishes for you to know that she has cleared her schedule and is available to be summoned at any time," Katsuyu replied. "You are to summon me upon your return to the Land of Redaku so that I can reverse-summon Sakura in turn."
Tsubaki's expression darkened.
"She's looking down on me," she said unhappily. "She thinks I can't handle Orochimaru."
Katsuyu shook her little head.
"That's not it," she explained. "I told Sakura about your play… and she wanted to come and see it."
Tsubaki was stunned. Was Sakura really such an egomaniac that she wanted to go and see a play about her own exploits? Or perhaps, like a proud parent, she wanted to see her act? Either way, that was far too embarrassing!
"As if! Now I'm definitely not summoning you when I get back!" Tsubaki spluttered. "Now send me back, Sasuke's going to get worried if he finds I'm gone from my room!"
Bamf!
Without warning, the reverse-summoning came undone. The white summoning smoke rapidly dispersed, revealing that her surroundings were once again those of the guest room in which she had fallen asleep a few hours ago.
"…Tsubaki?"
Tsubaki's breath caught in her throat, her pupils reflexively dilating as she found herself standing nose to nose with Sasuke. They both took a step back from one another, looking away as they blushed slightly.
"By the way, Sakura asked me to pass this along to you," Katsuyu said, her sing-song voice slicing through the silence. "She said you might find this useful."
Startled, Tsubaki patted down her chest and found that Katsuyu had tagged along back to the Land of Redaku by sticking to the underside of her breast. She lifted the little slug to eye level and watched as she reared her tiny head, making retching noises much like a cat coughing up a hairball as she vomited out a small scroll from her mouth.
"D-rank ninjutsu scroll," Tsubaki read out loud as she unfurled it. "Paper Shuriken Jutsu…?"
It was a jutsu Jiraiya had invented years ago during his time at the academy, born from the boredom of sitting through endless classes about the Third Hokage's tedious Will of Fire. By infusing chakra into soft objects, he could harden them into weapons and make them move according to his will; perfect for harassing his classmates with their own homework assignments.
"Konan's origami jutsu…?" Tsubaki blinked in surprise. "I see… nitrocellulose is still technically still paper…"
It seemed Katsuyu had truly told Sakura everything.
"I suppose you're going to summon her now," Tsubaki said bitterly. "Well, go on, then. Get it over with."
Katsuyu shook her head.
"It is not up to me to interfere in matters between my contractors," she explained. "I am here for your sake, not Sakura's; if you do not want me to reverse-summon her, then your wishes take precedence."
Tsubaki and Sasuke both had their Uchiha pride, which they refused to let anyone trample upon… even another Uchiha. Sakura had sent them to do a job, and they intended to do it without having to be babied! So what if there was an unexpected variable interfering with the mission? Life was full of surprises; what separated legendary shinobi from the mobs that got one-shotted in the background was their ability to deal with the unexpected!
…
And so, Tsubaki spent the morning mastering the D-ranked Paper Shuriken Jutsu, which she managed to get down fairly quickly thanks to her proficiency in Yang Style, before spending the afternoon helping Sasuke memorise his lines… or rather, Naruto's.
"Come on, put a little spirit into it!" Tsubaki said encouragingly. "You're the gloomiest Naruto I have ever seen! And don't forget to finish your sentences with -ya know!"
"…ya know," Sasuke said glumly.
Sasuke was beginning to regret ever inserting himself into the play.
He was no stranger to playing roles; pretending to be someone else was something all shinobi would have done at least once in their careers. However, this was just make-believe, plain and simple, making it difficult for him to get into character…
"No, no, not like that, you're not being cheeky enough!" Tsubaki said sternly. "Put some inflection into it, like this… ya↓ kno↑oow~! Stretch out that last yo!"
Sasuke's shoulders drooped. This was so uncool, but as long as Tsubaki seemed to be having fun…
Yet as the day progressed and the hours flew by, Tsubaki's enthusiasm rapidly began to wane, to be replaced by sheer terror. By the time the sun had fallen beyond the mountain peaks, her teeth were constantly chattering, her knees knocking together so violently that Sasuke had to physically drag her to the Grand Theatre. Backstage, she kept tracing the character for 'human' on her palm with her finger and pretending to swallow it, but it didn't seem to be doing anything for her stage fright.
"H-h-how d-d-does S-S-Sakura d-do it?" Tsubaki stammered anxiously as she peeked through the grand drapes separating the stage from the audience beyond. "T-T-That s-s-scaredy-cat's afraid of b-b-bugs, b-b-but how c-c-can she not be s-s-scared of puh-puh… public speaking!?"
"Places, everyone!" the director called.
Tsubaki was transfixed with terror. There were so many people out there! What if she forgot her lines and made a fool of herself? What if they laughed at her!? Would they still be laughing if she set their stupid faces on fire, huh!?
'Please attack the theatre, Orochimaru-samaaaaa!' Tsubaki found herself praying. 'I'll do anythinggggg!'
Tsubaki yelped as someone grabbed her arm, jerking her away from the burgundy curtains and spinning her into their broad, comforting chest. She timidly glanced up, her eyes widening in shock as Sasuke stole a kiss from her lips.
"Just keep your eyes on me," Sasuke breathed into her ear as she gradually calmed down and her jitteriness subsided. "Everything will be all right."