"Human, what are you sulking about?"
Out of nowhere, a treasure chest spoke.
"What's it to you?" Han Feng retorted with a sneer.
The chest growled, "Try sulking one more time, I dare you."
Han Feng smirked, tilting his head. "I'll sulk all I want. What can you do about it?"
The chest replied nonchalantly, "Not much. If you want to sulk, go ahead."
Han Feng: "..."
Was this treasure chest messing with him?
After a brief pause, he asked, "Little chest, what's inside you?"
The treasure chest replied, "Are you asking me?"
"Obviously."
"Well, who else would you be asking?"
Han Feng blinked, his expression darkening with frustration. "How the hell do you not know what's inside you?!"
The chest chuckled. "And what's it got to do with you? Why should I tell you?"
Han Feng inhaled sharply, clenching his fists to keep his temper in check. "Listen, you little box, do you have any idea what happens when you talk to me like that?"
The treasure chest remained unbothered. "What, you gonna beat me up? Go ahead. I don't feel pain anyway. Knock yourself out!"
Han Feng nearly exploded. He took a deep breath, suppressing his urge to smash the thing, and turned to the other two chests. "Alright, gentlemen. Can either of you tell me what's inside?"
The second chest scoffed, "Oh, spare me the fake friendliness. Do we even know each other like that?"
The third chest chimed in, "With a guy like you? Please. Take a good look at yourself. Do you even deserve to call us brothers?"
Han Feng: "..."
Was he seriously getting humiliated by treasure chests?
If word got out, he'd be the laughingstock of the century.
His trusty entrenching tool couldn't take it anymore. "Boss, these three are getting way too cocky! Stop wasting time and crank up the intensity!"
The first chest taunted, "Yeah? Bring it on! Less talk, more action!"
Han Feng narrowed his eyes, his expression dark. "I'll give you one last chance. Tell me what's inside, and I'll let this slide. Otherwise, I'll throw you all into a latrine pit."
The first chest gasped in horror. "You wouldn't dare! That's just cruel!"
The second chest trembled. "That's inhumane! I'll curse you if you do that!"
Han Feng's lips curled into a wicked grin. "I hope you can still act tough when you're swimming in filth. Oh, by the way, those pits aren't just full of urine and feces. There are plenty of maggots too. You'll be spending your days with them."
The third chest gagged. "Ugh…"
The first chest panicked. "Boss, I may have been a bit rude earlier. Can I have a do-over?"
"Trying to outsmart me? Not a chance."
Han Feng chuckled inwardly but kept a straight face. "Fine. One last chance."
The first chest wasted no time. "I contain ten bottles of energy drinks."
Han Feng's eyes lit up.
Energy drinks! Not only could they quench thirst, but they also provided a decent stamina boost. Much better than plain water.
"Not bad," he nodded in approval before turning to the others. "And you two?"
The second chest hesitated, then said, "I have… a frying pan."
Han Feng's expression shifted slightly.
A frying pan had multiple uses. He could cook with it—or use it as a weapon.
That was worth more than a few drinks.
The third chest finally answered. "I… I contain a D-cup bra."
"...What?"
Han Feng was dumbfounded.
Why the hell would he need that?
As a man, this was utterly useless to him. A loaf of bread would've been more practical.
He sighed in disappointment. "Alright, open up."
The first chest replied, "We're bound by the laws of the world. We can't open ourselves. Only you, as a survivor, can do that."
"Seriously?" Han Feng frowned.
The second chest confirmed, "Absolutely. We have no reason to lie."
Han Feng mulled it over, then reached for his entrenching tool and wedged it into the gap of the chest's lid.
He wasn't entirely convinced they were telling the truth.
What if a venomous snake jumped out and bit him?
Better to be cautious and use a tool.
The entrenching tool protested, "Boss, what are you doing?"
Han Feng answered matter-of-factly, "Opening the chest."
"You have hands, don't you? Why are you using me?"
Han Feng chuckled. "Because there might be danger."
The entrenching tool went silent for a moment before exclaiming, "Oh, so you're afraid of danger, so you're using me instead? Have you considered my feelings?"
Han Feng replied calmly, "If you 'die,' you'll just stop talking. But I, on the other hand, will actually die. Do you see the difference? 'Better you than me'—ever heard of that phrase?"
The entrenching tool: "..."
Han Feng patted it reassuringly. "Don't worry, little shovel. I doubt they're lying. You'll probably be fine."
"And what if I'm not?"
Han Feng's expression darkened. "Then I'll destroy them for you."
"Oh wow, that's so reassuring," the tool deadpanned. "Real helpful."
It suddenly had a bright idea. "Boss, why don't you use a stick instead?"
"You're smarter than you look," Han Feng praised, tossing the entrenching tool aside and heading toward a tree.
"Well, my survival depends on it!" the tool muttered in relief.
Moments later, Han Feng returned with a sturdy branch and skillfully pried open the first chest.
A brilliant light burst forth. As it faded, the chest itself vanished, leaving behind ten neatly stacked bottles of energy drinks.
"Huh?" Han Feng frowned. "Where'd the chest go?"
The second chest explained, "Once we're opened, our purpose is fulfilled. We simply disappear."
"I see."
Han Feng sighed, then turned to the remaining chests. "Farewell, my obnoxious little friends."
With that, he used the stick to flip open both remaining chests.
Two flashes of light later, the chests were gone.
In their place lay a frying pan and a neatly packaged D-cup bra.
Han Feng picked up the frying pan and gave it a couple of test swings. Satisfied, he nodded. "Not bad. This could work as a weapon."
The frying pan protested, "Excuse me? I'm a cooking tool! You want to use me as a weapon? Are you insane?"
Han Feng snorted. "Shut it. You belong to me now. I'll use you however I please."
The frying pan: "..."