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Chapter 6 - Chapter Six

Two things defined who I was, right there on the bed, bleeding like my death was near. One is my fear of being totally exposed and the other is the fear of death itself. The last time i visited my HOD's office, he showered mi with words like;

"You are such a disappointment to the body of Christ. You've always been careless with your life. I pity your parents..." and bla bla bla

That was exactly what i thought about myself too. I deserve to be stoned to death for wasting my parents hope and resources. I'm a disappointment, im a shame and i know!

Martins (my present boyfriend) made it worse. How can someone be so desperate for sex? How did i even come across this kind of man? Aholah is doomed.

Janet had just disappeared at the presence of my parents. I expected words from them but they just stood there staring back and forth at each other and me. Well, chance to get back at my story of how it all started. I'm not a victim, so don't go on pitying me too much. I made my own choices.

Emmanuel was my first love, or should i say he was the guy that showed up when i started to feel like i could use an opposite gender for emotional security the 'sweetness' that I watch of it. I told everyone we were best friends. I always abandoned every other thing for him. He was everything i thought about twenty four hours in a day and on few occasions when we kissed, heaven falls into my heart. I liked this guy a lot.

I allowed him access to my body, and his caressings, so heavenly, relieving and sweet. I was living my best life. I cared less about what the religious will say. I was tired of living up to the rules that my parents had laid down for me. I deserved a chance to live and that was life to me.

So one day after our even chapel, Emmanuel invited me to the chapel toilet which is right at the back of the chapel. I wasn't scared of anything since i trusted him, instead i cheered at the fact that we will be alone together again.

"Emmanuel" I whispered across the hallway of the male restroom, his head popped out of the door of th lastroom and he dragged me in and shut th door. My mind traveled far and wild. I was curious though, about what his intentions were and that led me on. His chapel materials were scattered in the sink, looked like he had been searching for something in it and he was seated on the toilet seat, his maleness pointed its head towards me. I thought i was in one of my daydreams again.

Lord have mercy, what is this?

"Don't tell me we are here to talk Emmanuel cause I won't believe you, what are we doing here?" I blushed hard under his meaning stare. What's wrong with this boy? I hope it's not what I'm thinking o. If my thoughts could be written on my clothes, I'll be soaked in disgusting mud.

"I need you." He stood up in an instant and rested his hands on the wall behind me, caging my little self within his body. He held my chin in his left hand and tickling my throat with his finger. That sensation, what is he doing to me?

"I can't help you Emmanuel. I've never done it...."

"Hm, better..." He closed the distance between us and got his hands into my blouse. I shivered in his hold and relaxed in his arms. The touching is not new and i loved every bit of it. His hand moved over every corner of my being. I felt like i was losing my mind, frozen and lost in sensual pleasure.

"I love you Aholah. You know that right?"

*Hm" i groaned, pushing harder aainst his muscles for safety and sanity. "You have to allow us do this okay, it won't hurt and i will be with you forever."

"Forever, huh? Emmanuel..." I lost my senses completely as his mouth enveloped mine. This is getting harder than i thought. He's not going to stop and I'm going to loose my virginity here and now, no.

My body gave me up. I felt his hand play around my pubic hairs and i tightened my laps but he soon parted them and got his hands into me. It was heavenly but dirty. I was having my dreams come true in a toilet with my lover but i knew i was offending a bigger person and bigger persons if this result in consequences. But it was all too fast and there was none to little time to think about consequences. I open up and asked him to do it and it. Slowly and i lost it. My sanity and virtue.

After a while we were sitted side by side on the toilet floor, both lost in thought till Emmanuel snapped out of it and asked us to leave before we get caught.

I didn't know how to feel. I had just given a guy my all and he had nothing to say about it. I was full of regret and disappointed at how quickly time flew over us. Even though i relived every bit of it in my sleep that night. I knew deep down that i was no longer the girl i use to be.

This same Emmanuel asked for a break up, three days after, saying he had fallen in love with another girl, Bellinda, my roommate. It was a Wednesday when he told me this. I went to the school field to cry only to encounter worrisome Esther and get suspended for assault.

And that was just the beginning of my problems

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