"You can come."
Heard the weak voice behind me. I was standing there with a glass of water. I turned back and slid the curtains away. I did not get on the bed, I extended my hands and gave him the glass of water. Did not speak.
I picked up all his jewelry, clips, pins, and dresses from the bed while he was trying to say something but did not. I put it in the dressing room and came back. He was seeing me with teary eyes. It did not fall, maybe he did not expect those from me. Otherwise, I am not the bad guy he saw after entering the room and shouting things at him. I was just frustrated. And I swear I will never do this again.
I took the glass from his hand as he did not want to give it, "Let me. Take some rest." I said it while taking the glass. I left the glass on the desk and got into my bed. I again settled the curtains well, making sure no lights were coming from the gaps. I will never make those situations where an object or a thing will disturb him. Even if it is me.
He lay down on the pillow. I shrouded the duvet and the blanket over him. The diffidence hasn't been moved from his face. He was noticing. Maybe minutes ago, only he got some rudeness, and minutes after he was noticing my every step with a strange hidden reaction. What if he thinks I am going to do something bad?!
Neither do I care nor react the way someone should. I wanted him to take a rest until the alarm rings to wake us up. But I can not directly yell at him. AGAIN. I went to tell it directly but instantly felt I should tell many more things before the last line. At least, this was one notable thing away from punishment that I got the signal for making no-mistake-moment. I lay beside him, too. Facing him right in front. He was again looking down. I opened my mouth but lost the guts to speak. I bet he noticed it. But regret.
"Ahm! What-" I throughtoutly managed myself to find the next word when he looked at me. God! Being a man is not an easy thing. Why would I feel those? Just because he is Luka Modric, the captain, doesn't mean I am confronting something before him. So, all in one, right here, I went again, "What do you wish for the rest of my life to?" I don't know if it was a way to ask someone like this. Such a dumbass I am!
I saw him looking at a questionable face like what I actually meant. I was looking right and left after finding no way. I had no extra time to think. I again looked at him, "I mean, what is your first wish after the wedding?" I asked like a gentleman, still knowing that I showed enough how to become a coward. He didn't look at me but answered, "I-ah, I do not want anything." Yes, cause I already showed what I can give. I already showed the ability to be rude for no reason. I showed that I did not care. Just because of it? Each time, every single time, why do I call my bad luck on my own? I was really disappointed. I know sorry doesn't work each time. But I can't destroy someone's first night, MORE.
"Hey, I know you are feeling so much hurt after what I did. I said sorry, and it's okay if you can't forgive me. I do not want any forgiveness after what I did. But-but at least, tell me your one wish, I can give you. Please, cause I am feeling guilty after what I said. I shouldn't-" "It's okay. I didn't mean those by my answer. I honestly do not want anything. But if you say so, I will. But I am not feeling low, it's you. And I didn't take it seriously either. I forgave you. But I am requesting that you not take that matter in that way. It was not a big deal. I understand the temper. And it was totally fine with me. It's okay."
He cuts me off with lines of lies.