"Some men carry joy like a mask and sorrow like a scar. You'll know them by the way they walk away from love."
-- -- --
"Aah! What do I do?"
"How do I even face her after all this time..." Thoughts collided one after another -
some with meaning, some without.
"I wonder how she'll even see me."
"I'm too scared to look into that gaze."
A surge of excitement and sorrow - alike thoughts filled his head.
He paced around his room,
Crashed, with the corner of his bed, in the centre of the room, stumbled two steps, then continued.
"Oh, I'm just overthinking, aren't I?"
"There was never anything between us to begin with, so what's there to be afraid of?"
He was at the edge of his window, staring at the distance, lost in thought,
"It's not like it'll be awkward between us, just because my idiotic past self had gone and..."
Suddenly, he clutched his hair tight with both hands, violently
"Aaah! Fuck! What were you thinking, you fucking dog?"
"Weeell, no prob-lemo. Let's just get fucked, shall we, Stuart?"
His mind finally felt a little at peace.
Just a tiny bit.
"Looks like you finally decided to be human again, idiot."
A voice came from behind him - real, deep, unlike the noise in his head.
"Oh hello! Bob. How long have you been here?"
"From the moment you were tossing around the room like an idiot," Bob answered.
"What's the matter? Have you finally begun to lose that tiny peanut of yours you call a brain?"
"Shut up, will you, asshole!"
"I give you one moment to speak and you start shitting verbally."
"As if I'm not fucked up enough, I just had to see that ugly mug of yours.
Haa! Today really is a bad day."
"Now, now, princess. Calm down, will you?"
"The world ain't ending today, is it?" Bob said - half-assured himself.
"Yeah, thanks. That was one assuring piece of shit advice."
"God! Just get out, you're making it worse for me."
"Now calm down, and tell me what happened,"
Bob sat on his bed, suddenly serious.
You know you can trust me with your shit - I already hold most of it anyway,"
He said, wearing his smug look.
"It's about the family function I have to attend - the one I told you about a couple days back."
"The cousin's wedding, wasn't it? Weren't you saying you weren't going?
What's the problem now?"
"It's my mother. She's hellbent on dragging me along no matter what.
Can't she just leave me alone?"
"Why can't people just let me live in peace? It's not like I demand too much, do I?"
"What's the problem then? Just attend the function and leave. It's no big deal."
"She'll be there."
"Who?"
"Emily. The girl I told you about..."
His mind went silent for a moment, it felt refreshed, yet heavy.
"...Damn. Pfttttt-HAHAHAHA!"
"Man, you're so fucked, aren't you?"
"It was nice knowing you, mate."
"May the gods of the afterlife help your soul to heaven. Amen!"
Stuart burst into a fury.
"Fuck-just get out! Leave! FUCK!"
"Well, good luck, princess."
"Fuck you, Bob!"
"No need to swear-back at you. You're gonna get fucked anyway," Bob said, leaving cheerfully.
"Calm down, Stuart. You know he's an asshole... but still your best pal."
He sat down on the wooden chair tucked under his table.
Deep in thought. Tired from all that pacing around - mentally.
His thoughts started to run rampant again:
"Do I still remember how she looked?
How her voice felt?
How her touch..."
He smiled softly.
"Well... looks like it's gonna be a tough week."
"Let's just get to packing. It's not like Mother is going to listen to me anyway."
"Nobody does,"
He began to sort his stuff.
Behind him, outside the window,
the sun had started to settle at the bottom of the horizon -
as if the clock of his life was whispering that night was approaching.
Fast.