SEBASTIAN
I spot the best vodka I could find. Jezzy and I have been drinking this since we were young. And I remember Jezzy being flat-out drunk after taking this. I didn't mean to get him drunk; it's just we were having so much fun that we didn't even think we'd get in trouble for it.
Well, I naturally cannot get drunk, but I still got in trouble with my mom for making him take alcohol. It was still a memorable night, it was memorable because that was when he confessed that he had feelings for me.
I like to tell him that I'm the one who confessed first, but he did. He doesn't know that he was the one who told me he loved me when he was drunk, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Or do I tell him?
I wince at the question I just asked myself.
"Damn it, Sebastian." I scold myself.
What is that going to solve anyway? He has a boyfriend now; he's clearly moved on, from the past, from this place, from me.
I don't blame him; this is what I like, I like that he's moved on.
I tried dating, but I failed because I'm a failure at love, simply because I can't get over my best friend. A part of me always thought he'd come back. He is back, but he's not here for me; he's here to bury his douchebag dad.
I didn't tell him sorry for his loss because he knows I'm not going to mean it. I hated that guy, and Jezzy knew that I hated him.
All those times I'd catch him with a black eye at school, or when he'd cry in my arms, wishing he had died simply because of his father.
I had this rage in me; I thought it was simply because we were friends. But I loved him, I still do. I was ready to murder him. That's how much I love him.
On the night we shared our first kiss, we had just graduated and we were living in the moment. Jezzy broke the news that he got accepted into NYU, and I just kissed him. And I told him I loved him, he told me he loved me too, and I grinned, he asked me why I was grinning, and I told him nothing and kissed him again.
I was grinning because he had already told me he was madly in love with sexy, handsome me. But I didn't tell him that because, obviously.
I just wanted to kiss him, man, less talk and more kissing.
That night may have been interrupted by that evil, evil man, but it was still the best night of my life.
I wonder if Jezzy feels that way, too.
Well, I can't ask him because that would be inappropriate when he's already with someone else.
God, this sucks. Who is this Jeremy guy anyway? What does he have that I don't? I'm sure I'm more good-looking, I have the biceps, the abs, hello. I'm Jessie Humphrey's first love for God's sake, I'm his first kiss too. So…ugh!
When I saw him, I wanted to just grab him and kiss him right there. Tell those ladies, sorry, the love of my life is back, I'm taken.
Seeing those beautiful honey brown eyes, those full lips, his sharp jawline, his facial hair, God, his facial hair and his afro made me want to jump on him and kiss the fuck out of him. I'm glad I didn't because I would be pouncing on somebody's man.
But he's my man.
God, I give up. He's probably going to leave after the funeral anyway. Unless he changes his mind.
No, bad Sebastian, you can't go about stealing people's boyfriends.
But I can't steal him, he's not property. He's a human with feelings. I'm so fucked up. Jezzy has a mind of his own, and he can do whatever he wants, like choose me over this Jeremy guy.
Hahaha, I'm actually fucked up.
I have to go out there before he wonders where I am. So I clear my throat, but before I leave, I look at myself in the mirror to make sure I look more presentable. Then I head out front.
"Sorry for the delay, I was trying to choose between four cousins, vodka or bo-" I stop when I don't see him on his stool. "Jezzy?" I look around, but he's nowhere to be found.
Great, I probably scared him, and he ran straight to the airport to go to New York.
I drop the bottles on the counter, and then I spot something: scratch marks on the floor. I furrow my brows.
"What the-" I say, walking out of the counter, then I see blood, and I see Jezzy covered in blood.
"Jessie!" I shout in panic as I run toward him. "Jessie!" I shout again. "No, no no no no." I drop to the ground and I pick him up, there's blood all over his body, a hole through his stomach. "Jessie, please don't do this to me. Jessie!" I cry.
No pulse, he's not breathing. He's dead. This can't be happening, this can't be happening right now. I just got him back. Why do I have to lose him again?
"Jessie, please." I plead as if begging him will change death's mind, and it will bring him back to life.
What the fuck did this? This wasn't human, this was… a supernatural death.
Which means, I can bring him back.
I stop crying, and I have an idea, I can bring him back. I can lend him my life. It is very possible.
But wait, doing this will get me in trouble. Bringing a human back to life will not just bring him back to life, but he'll turn into a Nytheri as well.
And that's a crime in the Nytheri world.
I don't give a fuck! I'm bringing my best friend back to life, and I don't care who has a problem with it.
I will have him face me, tears in my eyes, and then I will look at Jezzy.
"It's okay, Jezzy. You're going to come back to me. I'm going to bring you back. Everything will go back to the way it was. I promise you. I love you, I love you so much." My fingers play with his lips.
That's how to do it, that's how I have to bring him back to life. I have to kiss him. It's so ironic, Jezzy has always loved fairytales. How a true love's kiss can break a spell and heal everything. He should know that I will, in fact, do anything for him. And right now I'm not going to accept the fact that he's dead.
No way.
I place my forehead on his. "I love you," I whisper to him, then I kiss him on his lips.
Unlike the fairytales, it's not true love that's going to be bringing him back to life, but my venom is. A Nytheri's venom can bring someone back to life, especially if they're killed by supernatural forces.
This better work.
I eradicate every fear, and I kiss him with the same passion I had when I kissed him the first time.
His lips taste like vodka, but they feel like softness and joy. Like the world has stopped, and it's just the two of us in it, that's why the first time we kissed, we forgot we were kissing in his house and there was a possibility that we could get caught.
That's what's happening now. But I'm not just kissing him because I want to. But because I need to.
A harsh wind surrounds us, it opens the doors, and some glasses break on their own, and the light bulbs explode.
I don't look, of course, but I know what's going on. And what's going on is that it's working. The universe is bending to my will; the moon, sun, and stars are doing what we want them to do.
I stop kissing him and I look at him, I pray to the Goddess Bastet to grant me this wish, this is the only thing I want from her, I do not care about anything else.
I feel so weak, very weak. That's because I just lent him my life. I look at Jezzy's stomach, and the wound is closing up.
I light up because I know for a fact that it's working. It's working!
I hear a heartbeat, I feel a pulse.
"Jezzy?" I say, looking at his face with a smile on my face.
His eyes open up, and his honey brown eyes are replaced with bright emerald green cat eyes.